


Let Me Sign

by orphan_account



Category: Mortal Instruments, Shadowhunters
Genre: Alec is so pure, Autism, Autism Awareness, Cookies, F/M, M/M, Malec, Malec Fluff, Mundane Alec Lightwood, Mundane Magnus Bane, alec is okay, alec lightwood - Freeform, alec nearly drowns but not really, magnus bane - Freeform, there's also a Rottweiler too, they share a moment with vinyls
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-20
Updated: 2017-01-04
Packaged: 2018-08-23 15:29:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 28
Words: 90,422
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8332891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Alec Lightwood is autistic. He enjoys art, classical music and has an extensive collection of windchimes. He suffers from anxiety and has difficulty making friends but he pushes through his everyday routines, wondering if his life will get any better. That's when Magnus steps into his life. Magnus Bane works with people with disabilities who's assigned to care for Alec during the weekends and weekday evenings. He also enjoys classical music, art, and is fascinated by Alec's impressive collection of wind chimes. He's soft spoken, intelligent, and finds himself growing more and more attached to Alec everyday....maybe even falling in love. Slowly, they both begin to develop feelings for one another. They face challenges such as discrimination and stereotypes and racism, but they're not alone. Alec helps Magnus see the world a little differently than others, and Magnus helps Alec overcome his worst fears and accomplish goals he never thought he could accomplish before.  [Shadowhunter AU][© of all characters to Cassandra Clare]





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> Song used:
> 
> Years of War - Porter Robinson

"Mumma."

"Yes honey?"

"Alec is-is a little hungry."

Maryse turned to see her oldest son pointing to himself on the couch. "You're hungry, huh angel? What would you like to have?"

Alec drummed his fingers on his head. A million possibilities went through his mind as he considered what he wanted to eat. But as usual, what his mouth wanted to say, his mind failed him. "Soup. Ch-chicken noodle."

Maryse sighed. "Baby, you've had that three times this week. Would you like a ham and cheese sandwich and a glass of milk instead?"

Alec pointed to himself again and nodded. Yes. A sandwich sounded delicious. His mouth watered at the thought of a yummy ham and cheese sandwich with a cold glass of milk. Maybe even have a cookie for dessert if his mom would let him. 

"Mumma," Alec said again. 

"Yes angel?"

Alec scratched his head. "Izzy? Where's Izzy?"

"Izzy's at school! Remember? She teaches kindergarten. She gets to play with all kinds of little boys and girls and sing and play games. You were in kindergarten too a long time ago."

Alec hummed to himself, losing interest in the conversation when a bird landed on the windowsill. His eyes widened in fascination, but he didn't dare move in case he scared it. 

"Mumma. There's a b-a bird by the window," he whispered. When Maryse turned around to see, he put a finger to his lips to signal her not to make any noise.

Maryse smirked. "You always did like birds. Even when you were a little boy. Every weekend you dragged us to the backyard just so you could bird watch."

Alec wasn't listening. The coloring of the little bird's feathers had his full and undivided attention. Little specks of yellow all along its tiny green chest, he smiled as it chirped before flying away. "Mumma it's gone now. Sandwich?"

"Almost ready. Just pouring up your milk," Maryse set his glass down on the table. "All done, baby. Don't forget to chew."

Alec shuffled out to the dining room table and sat himself down by the window. Ham and cheese sandwiches. Aside from soup, this was his favorite food. He picked up a corner (his mother cut it up into four triangles like she always did) and took a bite. 

"How is it?" Maryse asked. 

Alec hummed in approval but didn't say anything as he stared out the window and robotically took a bite, chewed, swallowed, took a drink, repeat. He liked routine. It made him comfortable. 

The front door then opened and Isabelle stomped in. "Whew! It's raining cats and dogs out there!"

Alec's attention went to the sound of his sister's voice. "Izzy? Where's-where's the cats and dogs?"

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "It's just an expression, silly. It means it's raining really hard outside. Which it is. It's coming down like milk."

Alec frowned, trying to understand why his sister was saying rain was like milk. They were nothing alike. Rain was water. Milk was from cows. Shrugging, he took another bite and watched Isabelle move to the fridge. He decided to change the topic. "School good?" 

Isabelle nodded. "School was great. We sang the alphabet today, coloured Halloween themed pictures and made decorations for the classroom. What did you guys do today?"

Alec looked down at his plate. "Mumma made sand-sandwiches. Alec didn't help," he shook his head and pointed to himself. "Didn't help. No....birds outside. Bright. Pretty. Liked."

Isabelle snorted. "Sounds like mumma got her work cut out for her. Long day?"

Maryse sighed. "I'm not feeling a hundred percent today. Office called. Asked me to come in but I said I was busy with Alec. Managed to get some work done while he was watching tv earlier, but not a whole lot."

"Why don't you-" Isabelle looked at Alec to make sure he wasn't looking, but he was too busy picking apart his sandwich and looking at it. "Why don't you hire someone? I mean....Alec's not that severe. He's easy to handle. Fuck. I'm making it sound like he's an animal or something."

"Izzy said a bad-a bad word, mumma," Alec giggled and tapped the table with a finger. "Bad word. Swear jar."

"Oh you heard that. I'll give you a quarter later, bud. Right now, mom and I are going to have a chat, okay? You stay there and eat your dinner."

Alec nodded and happily took another bite of sandwich. Isabelle and his mom were having a lot of chats lately. He didn't care about what, as long as they didn't whisper around him. It made him uncomfortable and nervous. 

The rain came down harder. The longer he stared at it, the more Alec began to see the resemblance between the rain and milk. The drops were white, but when it landed on the glass, it was clear like water. Fascinated, he put a hand on the cool glass and hummed. Rain was comforting to him. The sound reminded him of the ocean waves and had a calming effect on his nerves. Windchimes had the same effect. The twinkling of the little chimes helped him stay calm and relaxed, which was why his apartment was full of them. He had at least two in every room. 

Izzy and his mother came back into the kitchen. It was Maryse who spoke first. "Alec....sweety. We need to have a talk about something."

Alec could feel his anxiety creeping up on him. His eyes immediately went to the table and he nodded, squeezing his hands nervously. 

"Your sister and I just had a talk. Mumma would really like to go back to work like dad. She won't be here as much to keep you company."

She touched his shoulder, causing Alec to groan quietly and stiffen. He hated being touched. But this was his mother. He had to make an exception for her. 

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say? Mumma needs to go back to work and help dad pay the bills."

Alec poked his chest. "Alec stay home-home? Alone?"

Maryse shook her head. "No, baby. You won't be alone. That's what Izzy and I were talking about. We're going to have a visitor come here on the weekends and evenings on the weekdays to keep you company. How does that sound?"

Alec didn't particularly like this idea. He didn't really like strangers coming into his home. The only people who ever stepped foot in here were his family and close friends he knew from childhood. No one else. 

"Alec, mom asked you a question," Izzy whispered. "She would like an answer."

Alec furrowed his brows together. "Alec is thinking. Hard. When?"

"When?" Maryse asked. 

"When stranger come?"

Maryse glanced back at Isabelle. "Monday. It's Saturday now. We'll get you introduced to your guest Monday after you get home from school. That way you two can spend a little time together. Learn more about each other."

Alec rubbed his neck; another nervous habit that showed only when he couldn't find the right words to say. "Mumma come visit though. After work."

"Oh, gosh yes! I'll still come visit! Same with dad and Izzy and Max and Jace. We're not leaving you, sweety. By no means. It's just that mumma would like to go back to work to help dad out. That's all."

This calmed him down somewhat. Sighing, he nodded and reached out with a hand, patting Izzy on the head. "Good. Alec happy now. Still hungry too."

Izzy snorted as she fixed her now messed up hair. "That was easier than I thought it was gonna be. I thought for sure we'd have to call the fire department because he set the place on fire in anger."

Alec began to whistle, imitating a police siren perfectly. 

"Stop that. That gets me every time," Isabelle poked him. Alec groaned. "You had that coming, big guy."

"Izzzzzzz......" He moaned, pointing to her. "School tomorrow?"

"Yup. Five days a week. And no, you can't come. We've been over this before. Don't pout at me either. You're 23 years old. I think you're a little too old for kindergarten."

Alec frowned. He remembered his family doctor saying he had the mindset of a five year old. So why couldn't he go to school with Izzy? This confused him. 

"Doctor said-said that Alec has child mind. So why no school with Izzy?"

Maryse nearly dropped the plate she was holding. "Alexander! Why would you-" She sputtered, clearly at a loss for words. 

Isabelle quickly changed the topic. "How about we bake some cookies and watch a movie? Halloweentown is supposed to be on later."

Alec frowned but nodded. He didn't understand why his mother didn't answer him or why his sister changed the topic so quickly, but it was a good change of topic. He loved baking.....or in his case licking the bowl. 

"Alec likes cookies," he pointed to himself then to the oven. "Hot stove. Don't touch."

"It's not hot yet, bud. We haven't even gotten started on baking yet. Finish your dinner and we'll bake chocolate chip cookies. Your favorite!" Isabelle smiled broadly, causing Alec to smile too.

"Okay," he whispered, taking another bite of sandwich and earning himself a kiss on the cheek.

Baking cookies with his sister was one of his favorite things to do. Not only was it relaxing, he liked following instructions and mixing the ingredients together in the bowl. He wasn't allowed to touch the mixer, so he stirred the bowl with a wooden spoon. 

"How are you doing in school? Mom said you have a big presentation coming up," Isabelle said as she poured in some chocolate chips into the bowl. 

Alec groaned. He didn't want to talk about his presentation. Getting up in front of the class and talking made him nervous and uncomfortable. "N-no. Alec doesn't want to talk about that. No. More chocolate please."

"I'll pour in more when you tell me about your presentation."

Alec groaned again. He hated how Isabelle always demanded answers. She couldn't just leave things alone. "Alec has to draw-draw a picture. Outside. Talk about it. Outside."

Isabelle smirked as he tapped on the window with a finger and mumbled something to himself. "Okay. That's all I wanted to know. Was that so hard?"

"More chocolate."

"More chocolate please."

Alec giggled as Isabelle poured some more in the bowl. The bowl was more chocolate chips than cookie dough, but that was exactly the way he liked it. 

"You're okay with mom getting someone to help you out sometimes, right?"

Alec grumbled. "Alec minds," he tapped his chest. "Don't like-don't like strangers. No....scary. Make Alec nervous."

Isabelle rubbed his back. He didn't groan in disapproval. His back was his weak spot that he enjoyed getting rubbed. "I know, bud. It's scary at first. But once you two get to know each other, you guys can be great friends."

Alec shrugged. She had a point. He did like making friends. He just didn't like strange people coming into his home. They had to be friends first before they could do that. "Izzy? Cookies bake now. Right now."

"Geez, you're impatient. They have to bake in the oven. I can't just snap my fingers and they're baked." She rolled her eyes when Alec watched her hands; probably waiting for her to snap her fingers. "That was a joke, Alec. I wasn't being serious."

"Oh....Alec sorry. Sorry, Izzy."

She rubbed his back again. "No need to apologize, big brother. How about while we wait for the cookies, we see what's on tv?"

Alec hummed as Isabelle placed the tray of cookies into the oven and shuffled out into the living room. He drummed his fingers impatiently on his knees. Isabelle was so slow doing everything. He wanted to catch Halloweentown from the beginning. 

"Izzzzz.....hurry-hurry up. So slow," he moaned. 

"Call me slow again and I'll tickle you until you can't be tickled anymore," Isabelle laughed as Alec's smile got so big that the corners of his eyes crinkled. "You're not going to miss anything. I'm recording it for you so if we miss anything, we can watch it from the beginning whenever we want."

Alec nodded. "What's Izzy being for Hallo-for Halloween?"

Isabelle sighed. "I have no idea. I might be a witch. What are you being?"

Alec scrunched his nose. "A banana."

Isabelle tried not to smirk. "A banana. Seriously?"

"Ser-seriously. Big banana. Yellow. Nice banana. Alec likes it."

Isabelle took her brother's hand before he could point to himself. "You can be whatever you want to be, Alec. It's Halloween. That's the point. We're allowed to be different that day and not have anyone judge us."

"Judge-judge us? Like score?"

"Not that kind of judge. This kind of judging is the mean kind. When people judge others, it's kind of like bullying. It's not nice. Don't ever do it."

Alec shook his head. This judging business sounded really mean. He hated being mean and he also hated when others were mean. "Alec won't. Mean is not nice. No. Alec is nice."

Isabelle smiled. "Alec is very nice. One of the nicest people I know and I'm very proud of you." She giggled as Alec beamed and hummed. "Mm. Can you smell those cookies?"

Alec sniffed the air. "Yes. Done now?"

"Not yet. Another few minutes and they will be. Do they smell good?"

"Mmmm," Alec tapped his nose and nodded. His mind wanted to tell her all about how wonderful they smelled and he couldn't wait to have one but he couldn't form the words. He groaned quietly and squeezed his eyes shut, trying not to cry in front of Izzy. She wouldn't understand. Most people never do. 

"Yeah you like the smell of cookies. But you like eating them more," she grinned as Alec squirmed as she brushed his hair off his forehead. "I'm gonna go check on them. Get the movie ready, okay? But don't start without me."

Alec nodded and picked up the remote, squinting at the buttons. There were so many buttons....way too many. Some were blue. Others were green. A couple were red. Such nice colors for a remote. Distracted, he counted them instead of getting the movie started. 

"Alright. The cookies are cooling off on the counter-" Isabelle paused by the couch. "Alec. The tv isn't even on yet."

Alec hummed. "Forty-forty six buttons on the remote. Alec counted. Yes. Counted."

Isabelle rolled her eyes and sighed. "I'll get the movie started and then we'll have some milk and cookies."

Alec clapped his hands. "Like Christmas! But it's Halloween."

"Cookies are a year round delicacy. You can eat them whenever." Isabelle clicked on the Halloweentown movie title on the screen. "Okay, bud. Here we go. Remember the number one rule of movie time?"

Alec put a finger to his lips. 

"Exactly. Now let's get cozy and get fat on cookies together."

Alec hummed happily.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:
> 
> Feel Like It - SKIES


	2. Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:
> 
> Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol

The address on the paper was right. Magnus had checked it three times now before knocking on the door but there was still no answer. There was a light on inside, he knew that much. Maybe whoever lives here wasn't home.

He had gotten a call from a Maryse Lightwood Saturday evening. It was a standard hire: she wanted someone to keep her autistic son company while she was away at work late in the evening and on the weekends. This is what he went to school for. This is what he loved doing.

"How old is he?" He had asked over the phone.

"23. We had him doing sessions since he was a child so he's not exactly your typical...." Her voice trailed off, trying to find the right words. "But he's very well behaved. You'll hardly have any issues with him."

Magnus jot down some notes as she spoke. "Okay. Is there anything in particular you'd like me to work on with him while I'm there? Like sign language? Speech?"

"Oh, he's already fluent in sign language. He's more chatty when he signs. But I'd like you to work on his speech with him. He still uses third person pronouns. Refers to himself as Alec instead of I, me, my, etcetera."

"That can be arranged. Anything else?"

Maryse was quiet for a second. "I think that's all. My second oldest son Jace will be there when you go to the loft on Monday. He'll introduce you to Alec and give you the rundown. Keep in mind too that Alec doesn't really like strangers...."

"I understand. I'd be nervous too if some strange man came into my home unwanted."

Maryse chuckled. "Very true. I hope to meet you soon, Magnus. It'll be a pleasure working with you."

"Same to you! It'll be a pleasure working with your son too."

Back to the present, Magnus was about to leave when the door opened a crack. A pair of big, hazel Bambi eyes peered out at him with a frightened expression.

"Hi. Is this the Lightwood residence? Alec Lightwood?" Magnus checked the address again. The number was right.

The man at the door moaned softly and his eyes dropped to the ground. With a deep voice, he moaned, "Jaaaaaace. S-stranger. Alec is nervous."

Ah. This must've been Alec. That explained the hesitance and the lack of eye contact as well as the referring to himself in third person, just as Maryse described.

The door opened all the way, revealing another young man with blonde hair and two different color eyes. "Hey. You must be Magnus. My mom said you'd be coming today. I'm Jace."

"Magnus. Magnus Bane," Magnus shook Jace's hand. "This must be Alexander?"

Alec grumbled and tried to hide behind Jace but he was much too tall. His gaze was averted to the floor and he squeezed his hands together nervously.

"Yeah, that's Alec. Say hi to Magnus, Alec. He'll be helping you out from time to time when mom's at work."

Alec continued to squeeze his hands and shook his head, signing something to Jace using sign language.

"Don't be rude. I'm sure Magnus is a nice person and would love to be your friend. Right, Magnus?"

Magnus stood up straighter and nodded confidently. "Absolutely! I love making new friends and I would love to be Alec's friend too."

This seemed to calm Alec down somewhat. His shoulders relaxed and he stepped out from behind Jace a little bit, but he still didn't speak or make eye contact. He merely tugged on Jace's sleeve and pointed to the couch.

"Oh. He wants you to come in and have a seat," Jace translated. "Would you like something to drink? Water? Milk? I think he has juice packs too."

"Oh I'm good. But thank you anyway. Who owns all the nice windchimes outside?" Magnus asked.

Alec squirmed in excitement. From the corner of Magnus' eye, he could see Alec pointing to himself and nodding.

"Those belong to Alec. Every windchime here is his. He likes the sound of them. Don't you bro?" Jace plopped down next to his brother on the couch.

Alec nodded. "Nice sound, windchimes. Relaxing. Calm. Makes Alec feel good in here," he pointed to his heart and hummed.

"It's great that you have something that makes you happy. Music makes me happy," Magnus said. "I love listening to music when I'm sad."

Alec squeezed his fingers. "Music? What-what kind?"

Jace raised an eyebrow. Alec usually didn't engage in conversation with strangers like this. But since music was mentioned, he understood why Alec showed an interest.

"I like classical music. The sound of a piano helps me relax," Magnus smiled as Alec's fingers drummed as if playing the piano. "Do you like the piano?"

Alec had his eyes closed as he nodded. Jace snorted. "Alec's a genius when it comes to the piano. He can memorize an entire piece in five minutes and play it. No notes."

Magnus was impressed. "That's...wow. Can you play a song for me?"

Alec groaned and leaned into Jace, signing something. Jace signed something back. Little did they know, Magnus knew what they were saying. He learned sign language years ago. It was a part of his nursing requirements.

"I don't want to play for him. I'm nervous," Alec signed.

"Just one song. It doesn't have to be the whole thing. Just one part of it," Jace signed back.

Alec cringed. "Jace. Please. Don't force me to do things I don't want to do. It makes me feel very uncomfortable."

Jace sighed. "Fine. You don't have to. Maybe some other time when you guys get to know each other better. Does that sound good?"

Alec nodded in response, hands clenched into fists on his lap.

"Sorry about that," Jace turned to face Magnus. "He doesn't want to play a song right now. He's nervous. Maybe a bit shy too. He doesn't know yo-"

"That's okay. No need to apologize. It's completely understandable," Magnus smiled. "Before I forget, is there anything I should be made aware of before I start? Like allergies or any medical conditions?"

Jace looked at Alec. "You. Are you allergic to anything?"

Alec shrugged. "Not-not that Alec knows. Pepper makes Alec sneeze."

"That doesn't count, weirdo. Pepper makes everyone sneeze. I'm just gonna go ahead and say no. You can contact our mom and ask her. I'm not a hundred percent sure."

Magnus nodded as he made a note. "What about....seizures? Are they common with him?"

Jace shook his head. "The last seizure he had was when he was 13. None since then. Although he's prone to panic attacks sometimes. He doesn't like when people yell or argue or make high pitched noises. Crowds make him nervous and he hates being touched without consent."

"Don't we all?" Magnus smiled softly. "Is that it? I made note of everything you just said. Just as a reminder."

Alec tapped Jace on the shoulder. "Don't tell him I'm scared of the dark. He'll laugh at me," he signed.

"No he won't. Lots of people are scared of the dark," Jace signed back with a smile.

"It's true. I'm still a bit scared of the dark," Magnus said. He laughed as Alec groaned and clenched his fists again. "I know sign language. I had to learn it for my nursing course in school. But like I said, it's true. There's nothing to be ashamed of. We all have fears."

Jace pat Alec on the shoulder. "See? Magnus is right. Plus our cool little secret language has been compromised. He's knows everything we're saying."

"Not-not good. No more secret? Jace? Alec can still sign though. Yeah, Jace? Yes," Alec tapped his chest and nodded.

"No one's stopping you or saying no, big bro. I know you're more comfortable with sign language. You're a chatterbox when you sign. You don't shut up." Jace grinned as Alec giggled. "So if that's everything, I'll be on my way. My girlfriend Clary wants to go to dinner tonight. It was nice meeting you, Magnus."

"Absolutely. Likewise," Magnus shook Jace's hand. "Have a good one. I'll see you again soon for sure."

Jace nodded. "Alec. Behave yourself. Magnus is a friend. Show him around the apartment. But be kind about it. Got it?"

Alec gave him a thumbs up in response.

Magnus smiled. "We'll be fine. I have your mom's number in case I have any questions or concerns."

Jace threw on his jacket and headed for the door. "Cool, cool. Okay I'm out. Behave, Alec! I'm always watching....."

Alec made a noise that sounded like he stuck out his tongue and blew out air.

"Love you too buddy!" Jace called as Magnus slowly shut the door.

"Your brother Jace is quite the character," Magnus laughed. "You must love him a lot."

Alec was quiet. He was still sitting on the couch but he was now playing with a loose string on his holey sweater. He seemed very interested in that string.

Magnus sat next to him. "You said you liked music earlier. What bands do you listen to?" As he mentioned music, he saw Alec pause from playing with the string to briefly listen. "I like Imaginary Future. Muse. Maroon 5. Whatever sounds good."

Alec slowly leaned his body towards Magnus. His eyes were still on the floor, but his face showed an interest in the conversation. "Magnus-Magnus likes Imaginary Future too?"

"You like them? That's cool. What's your favorite song?" Magnus raised an eyebrow as Alec quickly whipped out an iPhone from his pocket and typed something in before handing it to Magnus. "Oh. Uh.....oh! You gave Love Is Beginning five stars. This one is your favorite?"

Alec nodded and made a grabby hand towards his phone. "Alec likes that song. Lots. Listens everyday."

Magnus smiled. He was starting to make some progress with him already and he wasn't even here for ten minutes. "Any other bands?"

Alec shook his head and gently put his phone away. "Alec is hungry. Would Magnus like something to-to eat?"

"Right. Food. Lead me to the kitchen and show me what you would like and I'll make it for you," Magnus said as Alec got to his feet and led the way towards the kitchen.

Alec was tall. Very tall. At least 6'2 or 6'3. Black hair that was pushed to one side, hazel eyes that never once looked up at him, and stubble on his face that made it seem he hadn't shaved in a while. His sweater was a bit tight around his biceps as he reached up into the cupboard for something, and the the material strained over large muscles. Alec was stunningly attractive. There was no denying this. But he couldn't be thinking these kinds of thoughts about the person he was working with. It was inappropriate.

"Ch-chicken soup. Alec's favorite. Yes. Alec likes chicken soup," Alec nodded and tapped the can with a finger. "Alec make soup for Magnus?"

Magnus looked through the lower cupboards until he found a pot. "I'm one step ahead of you, Alexander. I'll make it for you. One delicious bowl of chicken noodle soup coming right up."

Alec clapped his hands and sat at the table, a book suddenly in front of him. He rest his forehead in his hands as he flipped through the pages, occasionally giggling at something he read.

"What book are you reading?" Magnus asked.

Alec closed his book and slid it forward, tapping the cover.

Magnus peered at it. The cover read Harry Potter. "That's a good read. Is this for school?"

"N-no. Alec likes this book. Fun read." Alec shook his head. "Magnus read books too?"

"I do. Lots of books. My mom used to work at the library before she retired a few years ago. I read all kinds of books growing up. The Hobbit was my favorite."

Alec half smiled. "Good-good movie. Alec like that one. The dragon is-is scary."

Magnus smiled. "He was scary. But in the end, the hero won. Bilbo won."

Alec nodded and grabbed his book again, flipping it open to where he left off. He remained quiet as Magnus finished making the soup, putting away the book when his bowl was put down in front of him. "Magnus-Magnus having some too? Lots-lots there."

Magnus smiled. "I'm good. I ate before I came here. Do you usually have bread or crackers with your soup?"

Alec frowned. "Crack-crackers. Sometimes. Not all the time. High in sodium. Bad for heart."

"So.....no crackers?" Magnus smirked as Alec nodded and held up two fingers. "Two crackers it is then."

Alec was quiet when he ate. It took Magnus a few minutes to notice that Alec are almost methodically; taking a bite, chewing, swallowing and then taking a drink. This process was repeated the entire time Alec ate.

"What do you want to do after you're finished? I have some musical scores I want to show you. I think you'd like them," Magnus suggested.

Alec grunted. "Alec has-has homework. Very important. Must keep grades up. Yes. Good grades."

Magnus took a seat at the table. "Can I help you with it?"

Alec shook his head. "No. No. Alec is okay. Just-just English homework. Then art assignment. Alec is okay. Yes."

"Okay," Magnus smiled. He gazed around the kitchen, admiring how well kept it was. It was clean (not a speck of dust anywhere) and very expensive looking. He doubted Alec paid for this by himself. He must've had help from his family. "What's your sister like? You haven't told me about her yet."

Alec squeezed his fingers while he chewed. "Izzy is nice. Talks too much. Tall shoes. Yes. Very tall."

Magnus snorted. "She sounds like a nice person with nice shoes." Alec half smiled at this and nodded, eyes on the table. "Alright. If you're finished with your bowl, I'll clean those dishes. Get started on your homework."

Alec disappeared around a corner and returned with a green backpack over his shoulder. "Magnus? Can Alec ask-ask a question?"

"Absolutely. What's your question?"

Alec groaned and shook his head. "If Alec needs help with-with homework, can Magnus help? Please? Magnus help Alec?"

Magnus nodded. "Of course. Anything you need help with, I'm right here. Just let me know."

Alec nodded and got straight to work. It was interesting, watching him hunch over the papers and scribble notes in his notebook. Every now and then Magnus heard him mumble something or chuckle at something in his textbook. The pen he held was much too small for his large hands; it was comical to watch.

In his own notebook, Magnus made a short note in it. Strong attention span with homework. Well focused. "You doing okay? Do you need any help?" He asked.

Alec sighed. "Alec is okay. Just-just have one request for Magnus."

Oh. This should be interesting. "Okay....what is it?"

Alec quickly glanced up at Magnus. If Magnus hadn't been paying close attention, he wouldn't have seen it. "When M-Magnus speak to Alec, please avoid asking t-two questions in a row. It confuses Alec."

At least he's honest about it, Magnus thought to himself. "I'm sorry. I'll remember that for next time. I'll do that one over." Magnus wiped his hands off in the towel and took a seat next to Alec. "Do you need any help with your homework?"

Alec rubbed his arm. "No. No. Alec is okay. Almost finished anyway. Did most-most of it in school. Yes. In school."

The front door opened and a young man with dark curly hair waltzed in. "Hola! Como esta? How's my buddy Alec doing today?"

Magnus bit his lip to keep from laughing at Alec's disgusted expression. "Hi. Who are you, if you don't mind me asking?"

The man paused by the kitchen door. "Oh. Hey. Didn't know Alec had company. I'm Simon. Isabelle's boyfriend. Isabelle is his sister-"

"I know who Isabelle is. I'm Magnus. Alec's worker. Nice to meet you."

"Same here, dude. Don't mind me, I'm just dropping off some bottles for Alec. He brings them to the animal shelter on the weekends. They raise money that way when they bring it in for recycling." Simon placed a box on the counter before taking a seat next to Alec. "Hey bud. How are you doing?"

Alec shrugged. "Alec is fine. Simon doing okay?"

"Simon feels like a million bucks. He got a promotion at work today and couldn't be happier with where life is headed. Pound it, bro."

Alec glanced at Simon's raised fist. He reached up and pat it gently with a hand, wondering what a million bucks felt like. Probably like Simon's hand; smooth with a speckling of hair.

Simon sighed. "I'll get a brofist out of you one day. I'll die trying. Anyway, I gotta jet. Isabelle's finishing up school and I promised I'd take her out for a slice of pizza. Nice meeting you, Magnus! Later Alec!"

Alec waved. "Bye Simon." When the door closed, he sighed heavily. "Simon-Simon is okay. Never knocks on Alec's door. Nice to Izzy. Talks too much. Hurt Alec's ears."

Magnus smirked. "You just made a funny. I'm impressed." Alec frowned at this compliment. "But as long as he's nice to your sister. That's all that matters."

Alec nodded. "Yes. Simon is nice to Izzy. Makes her l-laugh. Still annoying though."

Magnus laughed. "Well, we can't like everyone. Some people just get under your skin-" He paused when Alec rubbed his arm and looked at it. "I didn't mean it like that. It's an expression. Means some people make you angry."

Alec frowned. "Expression? Like-like raining cats and dogs?"

"Exactly like that," Magnus smiled. "Now I'll be in the living room setting up our session. When you're finished your homework, we'llget right to it."

Alec froze for a moment. "Session?"

"Your mom wanted me to do some speech therapy with you. Nothing too harsh. Is that okay?"

Alec gripped his hands and squeezed them. "Does Alec-Alec not talk okay? Mumma doesn't like Alec's talking?"

Magnus frowned at this. "No. Your talking is fine. She just thought you could use a bit of practice in certain areas. That's all."

Alec sighed heavily. He seemed very frustrated with himself. "Okay. Alec will try. Yes. Try very hard."

Magnus picked up his bag and smiled. "There you go. I'm very proud of you, Alec. Trying is the first step to succeeding. Never forget that."

Alec flicked his gaze up to watch Magnus set up papers in the living room. He snuck a glance here and there when Magnus wasn't looking. This was the longest he's ever looked at someone. "Mag-Magnus? Alec has something to say."

Magnus looked over his shoulder. "What's that?"

Alec groaned softly, trying to process his words carefully so what he wanted to say came out right. "Alec doesn't find Magnus annoying like Simon. Magnus nice."

Magnus smiled at this. "Thank you. That's good to know. I think you're nice too."

Alec giggled at this and ducked his head towards his textbook again, a flush rising in his cheeks. He wasn't going to tell Magnus that he liked his black painted nails or his many necklaces that he wore or the sound his feet made as he walked across the carpet. He wasn't going to tell Magnus any of these things, mainly because these were feelings completely foreign to him. He never blushed like this. Only during the summertime when it was warm outside. But nobody ever made him blush.

"Whenever you're ready, we'll get started. I'm all set up in here," Magnus said from the living room. He peered into the kitchen and saw Alec quickly shoving his books into his backpack. "Are you okay?"

Alec mumbled under his breath. "Alec is okay. Eager to-to learn new things from Magnus. Make speech better. Yes. Better."

Magnus shrugged. "Alrighty. You're the boss. If at any point you feel like you're getting overwhelmed, let me know. Okay?"

Alec nodded. "Okay. Alec will try hard to learn fast. Magnus must be patient with Alec. Alec not very fast learner sometimes," he chuckled at himself, but Magnus could see he was upset with himself as well.

"Don't worry about it. We'll take it one step at a time. Baby steps. Rome wasn't built in a day."

Alec squinted. Probably trying to understand what this meant. "Is that another-another expression? Yes?"

Magnus nodded. "You're a faster learner than you give yourself credit for. You should feel proud of yourself."

Alec smiled at the floor. "Alec does feel a little proud. Learn now? Yeah? Alec is eager. Yes. Very eager to learn."

Magnus smiled as Alec shuffled through the cue cards. "Whenever you're ready, Alec. Whenever you're ready."


	3. Three

Magnus was exhausted by the time he got home that night. He left Alec's around 8:30, which gave him enough time to grab some takeout and get home in time to catch the last few minutes of Coronation Street. His friends laughed at him for liking that show, but truthfully he just loved a good English drama. American drama didn't feel real. 

He couldn't stop thinking about Alec. During their session, he managed to keep up and stay focused, only drifting when his phone went off and read a text from Isabelle. After a while, he began to grow increasingly frustrated the more they continued and the more Magnus corrected him. 

"Alec is-is finished. No more. Getting pain here," Alec tapped his forehead and groaned. 

"Just one more question and we'll be finished for the night. Okay?" Magnus frowned as Alec whined but nodded. "I want you to read this sentence but replace your name with 'I'. Okay?"

Alec quickly flicked his eyes up to the cue card. "Alec is g-going to the park," he read. 

"Read that again. Remember. Don't say your name. Say 'I'-" Magnus paused as Alec gripped his hair in frustration. "Okay. Okay. Calm down....we're finished for the night. You did really well. You should be proud."

Alec groaned as he buried his face between his knees. "Why Alec stupid? Why can't Alec get things right? Stupid Alec." He hit himself on the forehead roughly three times and whined, obviously frustrated with himself. 

"Hey. Don't do that to yourself. Can I touch your shoulder?" Magnus asked, causing Alec to look up at him quickly in surprise before looking away and nodding. Magnus placed a gentle hand on Alec's shoulder. "You're not stupid. Not by any means. Everyone makes mistakes. The important thing is that we learn from them."

Alec scratched his neck. "Alec-Alec makes too many mistakes. Makes Alec feel stupid. Slow. Not quick like Izzy or Jace."

Magnus frowned at this. "Don't compare yourself to your siblings. That'll only make you feel even worse." He grabbed a pen and paper and placed it in front of Alec. "How about this. Write down a list of goals you'd like to achieve and we'll work on them together. They don't all have to be achieved right away. Take your time with them. There's no set due date."

Alec picked up the pen and looked at the paper. "Goals. Like-like things Alec wants to do? Bucket list? Yeah, Magnus?"

"Something like that. Write them down so you won't forget them and I'll help you work on those goals. Sound good?"

Alec smiled and nodded enthusiastically. "Okay. Alec will write down goals and work-work on them with Magnus. Yes. Together."

Back at home, Magnus sighed as he flicked off the tv and crawled into bed. It had been a long day. Not a frustrating one, but a long day nonetheless. Alec was one of the easier people he had to work with, and he's worked with them all. Some were violent. Others didn't talk. Others didn't even seem like they needed help because they could pretty much do everything themselves. That was Alec. 

His cell began to ring. Looking at the ID, it said Maryse Lightwood. An important call. He picked it up. "Hello?"

"Mr. Bane. Hope I didn't wake you up or anything...." Maryse said on the other end. 

"I just got back from your son's about a half hour ago, actually. I'm wide awake."

"Oh!" She sounded surprised. "How did it go? Did he behave himself?"

Magnus nodded. "Absolutely. He did his homework. He had soup. We even got in a session before he got a headache. Other than that everything went pretty smoothly."

Maryse was quiet for a moment. "You said he got a headache. Is he okay? Did he say anything about the pain before you left?"

"He said he was fine. He was getting a bit frustrated with himself during our session. He....um....called himself stupid. Smacked himself as well." Magnus closed his eyes at the memory. His heart went out to that young man. 

Maryse sighed. "Alec gets angry with himself sometimes. He used to bite himself when he was a boy. It scared his siblings." Another sigh. "He tries so hard to be like everyone else that he doesn't even realize how beautiful and special he is."

"I noticed," Magnus whispered. He cleared his throat. "But we had a talk. I told him to write down his goals and we'll work on them together. He seemed more than happy to do so."

"Oh good," Maryse sighed. "I'm glad. He loves making lists. You probably made his entire day by doing that." She laughed and sighed again before speaking. "Thank you so much, Magnus. For doing this. Alec doesn't have many friends. He....doesn't open up to many people. The fact that he's so open with you actually takes me by surprise. What's your secret?"

Magnus laughed. "No secret. I'm just good at what I do."

Maryse chuckled. "Well, Alec could use a friend. The lord knows my son deserves one. Maybe you're the one."

Magnus rubbed his chin and sighed. "Yeah. Maybe. He's a good person. Very kind and considerate. Smart too. He just doesn't see that."

"I'm hoping you can get him to open his eyes to that. He really is a special young man, Magnus. The way he views the world is unlike anything I've ever seen before. Alec deserves the world and everything in it."

Magnus nodded. "Right. Right. I hear you....."

They were both quiet for a moment. "Well, I'll leave you be. From what I heard from Alec earlier, he sounded very excited to see you again."

Magnus perked up. "Really?"

"Really! He called me ten minutes before I called you. Rambled on about how you make a good soup and your love for books. I've never heard him talk so much in my life."

Proud of himself, Magnus smiled up at the ceiling. "That's good to hear. I'm glad I already made a positive impression on him. I was actually worried he wouldn't like me."

Maryse chuckled. "Alec isn't capable of hate, Magnus. There's not a hateful bone in his body. He sees the good in everyone and everything. Goodnight, Mr. Bane. Hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."

"Abolsutely. Thank you so much, Mrs. Lightwood. Have a nice night."

He hung up and looked up at the ceiling again, unable to get rid of the broad smile that stayed on his face for the rest of the night. 

\----------

"Mumma. Magnus be here soon, yes?" Alec looked out the window and tapped on the glass impatiently. "Magnus be here soon. Help Alec with goals. Mumma? Soon?"

Maryse looked up from her newspaper. She managed to get the evening off work so she could help Alec with his school project. "Soon, baby. He's probably stuck in traffic. New York is crazy sometimes."

Alec giggled. "New York. Crazy. Mumma silly. Magnus silly too. Reads big books. Likes music."

Maryse smiled behind her papers. "I'm listening, baby. Keep talking."

That's exactly what Alec did, much to her surprise. "Magnus like Alec's windchimes. Mumma. Look," Alec pointed to the chimes above his head, touching them with a finger and smiling as they tinkled. "Magnus like piano and music. Alec like piano and music. Won't play for Magnus though. No. Too shy. Not friends yet. Not yet. Will be soon. Yes. Soon."

Maryse glanced at her son and smirked. He talked so much the past hour that she was starting to wonder if this was even Alec. "You're awful chatty this evening. Who are you and what have you done with my son?"

Alec giggled as Maryse tickled his ribs. "Mumma! Stop! Alec doesn't-" He snorted unintentionally. "Alec doesn't want to be tickled! No!"

"I know all your ticklish spots!" She continued to tickle him until he was in tears. "I'm happy that you found a friend, Alec. Someone that isn't your brothers and sister."

Alec sat up straight on the couch. "Magnus isn't Alec's friend yet. Need more time, mumma. More time," he pat his mother's knee and nodded. "Magnus said he'd help Alec with goals. Is okay?"

"My goodness, of course! What are your goals?"

Alec took out a piece of paper from his jeans pocket. "Um....Alec wants to learn to swim. So Alec doesn't drown."

Maryse smirked. "That's a good goal to have. What else?"

Alec hunched over the paper. "Mummaaaaa....it's a secret. Alec wants to surprise mumma with how smart he is."

"Oh baby boy. I already know you're smart. That's no surprise," Maryse kissed his temple and brushed the hair from his eyes. "I'll tell what you need. A haircut. You're starting to look like Cousin It from the Addam's Family."

Alec giggled and began to hum the theme song. "Alec like his hair long. A little. Not too long. Not like Izzy's hair. Izzy's hair very long." He paused, listening. "Magnus here now? Soon? Yes?"

Maryse looked out the window. Sure enough, a car pulled into the parking lot and Magnus stepped out of it. She grinned. "Any second now. He'll be here any second."

Alec clapped his hands. "Any second, any second-" His eyes grew wide when a knock came on the door. "Mumma! Door! Get it! Open door!"

"Patience, Alexander! You're worse than your father!" Maryse laughed as she opened the door. "Hello, Magnus. Alec hasn't stopped talking about you for over an hour now."

"Really? I didn't think I was all that great," Magnus smiled. Alec was sitting on the couch, squirming in excitement. "Hey Alec. What's up?"

Alec glanced up at the ceiling, closing his eyes and shaking his head. "Alec knows that is an expression. Yes. Alec is okay," he pointed to himself then to the paper on the table. "Magnus work on goals with Alec today? Learn to swim?"

"Sw-what? What's he talking about?" Magnus looked at Maryse for confirmation. "We're going swimming today?"

"No. That's on his goals list. He wants to learn how to swim," Maryse whispered. "He's got more written down so he'll probably tell you all about it once you're both settled away."

Alec pat the space on the couch next to him. "Magnus. Come see Alec's list. Very long. Alec has lots of goals."

"Try saying that again. Remember what we went over yesterday?" Magnus raised an eyebrow. 

Alec grimaced. "Come see.....my list. Very long. I have lots of goals."

Maryse cupped a hand over her mouth in surprise. "Robert and I had been trying for years to get him to say I and me and first person pronouns. This is incredible!"

"We're still working on it. He struggles a bit to remember but we'll get it down eventually. Isn't that right?" Magnus sat next to Alec and nodded. "It's on your goals list....as well as a million other things."

Alec scoffed. "Not a million. Just forty-seven. Silly Magnus." He giggled. "Mumma can go now. Alec is okay. Magnus is here now."

Maryse snorted. "That's my cue to leave, I guess. When your own son kicks you out of the house. Call if you need anything. Oh, and he has volunteer hours at 6 at the animal shelter. Tag along. You might find an animal you might like."

Magnus checked his watch. It was 4:27 now. He had enough time to make supper for the two of them and help Alec with his homework if he needed it. "Volunteer hours at 6. Got it. How often does he go a week?"

Maryse thought about it. "Three times a week. I think....Alec? Sweety, how many days a week do you go to the shelter?"

Alec rubbed his nose. "Alec goes to shelter three times a week. Visits on Saturdays for fun. No volunteer though. No. Just for fun. Nice kitty cats there."

"And there's your answer," Maryse chuckled. "Anyway, I have to leave you to it. I'm popping back into the office for another hour or two." She leaned down and kissed Alec's cheek. "Have fun at the shelter today, handsome. Love you."

"Mummaaaa," Alec wiped his cheek. "Stop it. Not-not in front of Magnus."

"Oh I don't mind. My mom does the same thing," Magnus laughed. "Have fun at the office, Mrs. Lightwood. And it was nice to finally meet you."

"Oh I always do," Maryse rolled her eyes. "It was nice to meet you too. I'll see you boys soon. Have fun!"

Magnus closed the door behind her and sighed. "The shelter, huh? You like animals?"

Alec sucked on the collar of his shirt. "Yes. Alec loves animals. Kitty cats and dogs are so nice. Soft and cuddly. Alec gets lots of kisses there. N-none from mumma though. She's not-she's not there," Alec squeezed his hands together. "Magnus come to shelter too? See kitty cats? Take one home?"

"Oh, I can't do that. I'm hardly ever home. I wouldn't be able to give it lots of hugs and love." 

Alec frowned. "Cats are inde.....inde...." He grimaced and clenched his teeth. "What's word?"

"Independent?"

"Yes. Independent. Cats just need food and water and some head scratches. Dogs need more attention. They pee outside."

Not saying anything else, Magnus watched Alec shuffle into the kitchen and take out a juice pack from the fridge before sitting down and opening his notebook for school. Deciding to start on dinner, Magnus searched through the cupboards for something to cook. 

"Macaroni," Alec said out of nowhere. 

Magnus looked at him. Alec was still hunched over his books. "Macaroni?"

Alec pointed to the cupboard above Magnus' head without looking up from his books. "Macaroni in that cupboard. Tuesday's are Kraft dinner days for Alec. Favorite food. Alec makes it every week."

"I see...." Magnus opened the cupboard, revealing a blue box of Kraft dinner.....or many boxes of Kraft dinner. "Alec....who goes grocery shopping with you?"

"Izzy. Sometimes Alec go by himself. Not all the time. No. Crowds are scary...." Alec shivered as if he could just picture a crowd around him. "Why? Why Magnus want to know?"

"Just curious. You've got enough macaroni here to feed the Navy. Do you have any fresh vegetables? I could make a stir fry. Or a nice salad if that's what you want to do."

"Macaroni better."

Magnus sighed. "Macaroni it is then."

Ten minutes later, Alec was happily sitting at the table and enjoying a piping hot bowl of mac and cheese while doing his homework. He winced at one point and stuck out his tongue, moaning quietly. 

"Did you burn your tongue?" Magnus asked. Alec nodded so Magnus poured him up some more water. "Have a drink. That'll help with the pain."

Watching Alec eat, as stated before, was interesting. He took a bite, chewed, swallowed, then took a drink. It was almost repetitive. Where Alec had already taken a drink, he couldn't have another one. Instead he put another bite into his mouth, chewed, swallowed and then took a drink. 

"Ouch," Alec whispered. "Alec burn his tongue and throat."

"That's why you blow on it before you put it in your mouth. Like this," Magnus pretended to be blowing on a spoon. "Just like that. You don't have to do it hard. Nice and gentle."

Alec copied his actions. His eyes widened in surprise. "It worked! Alec blew on spoon and macaroni got cooler!"

"See how easy that was? Now you know for next time," Magnus smiled. "Do I make good macaroni and cheese?"

Alec hummed. "It came from a box."

Magnus feigned being offended. "Don't sass me. I worked hard on that. Ten minutes."

"Alec wasn't being sassy. It did come from a box. See?" For emphasis, Alec lift the lid to the garbage bin and showed him the box. "Box from cupboard. Before that, grocery store."

"Yeah, yeah. Smart Alec. Literally, in this case-" A painting on the counter caught Magnus' eyes. "Oh wow. Who did this?"

Alec pointed to himself but said nothing as he chewed. 

"This is beautiful, Alexander. It's the Statue of Liberty!" Magnus couldn't help but be in awe of the painting. Alec had some serious talent with a paintbrush. It actually looked as if it were a photograph and not a painting. "This is absolutely gorgeous. Is it for school?"

"Alec's school project. Yes. Must talk about it in front of class. Alec not looking forward to it," he shook his head and closed his eyes. "Magnus have advice for Alec? How to speak in front of class?"

Magnus set the painting down carefully. "Hmm....advice. I'm not a fan of public speaking either but we all have to do it at some point in our lives. I say just go for it. Have fun. Talk about your painting like you talk about music. Be excited. Just be yourself."

Alec smiled at the table. "Magnus has good advice. Too bad he's not doing presentation instead, yeah?" He snorted at his joke. It was obvious he found himself funny.

Magnus smirked. "You'll do just fine. Just remember to breathe." He quickly made another note in his notepad. Advanced fine motor skills. 

Alec took a deep breath and nodded. "Magnus take Alec to animal shelter now? Early, yes? Alec likes early."

"Right. Right. Let me just grab my keys...." Magnus quickly placed Alec's bowl in the sink before grabbing his bag. "Do you have everything you need?"

Alec pat his shirt and pockets. "Phone. Alec needs his phone. Be right back."

He disappeared around the corner as Magnus waited by the front door for him. He came back a few moments later, mumbling under his breath and moving his fingers as if he were playing the piano.

Magnus jingled his keys to get Alec's attention. "You okay? You look nervous."

Alec shrugged. "Alec never went to shelter with Magnus before."

"That's right. This is our first time."

Alec lowered his voice to a whisper, which wasn't actually a whisper. It more of a loud hiss. "What if Magnus doesn't like it?"

Magnus snorted. "You're worried that I won't like going to the animal shelter?" Alec nodded. "Alexander. You don't have to worry about whether or not I'll like something. I'm happy with whatever you feel like doing. Okay? So don't feel bad."

"Magnus might find kitty cat at animal shelter, yeah? Kitty cat, kitty cat," Alec smiled and pointed to himself. "Alec will show.....I will show you what I do at the animal shelter."

Magnus felt his heart swell with pride inside his chest. "That sounds good. Lead the way, big guy. I'm right behind you."


	4. Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:
> 
> When Can I See You Again - Owl City

The animal shelter was empty when they arrived, unless you counted the barks of the dogs and the yowling of the cats inside the kennel. Alec was all too excited to go inside; he practically bounded out of the car and raced inside.

"M-Magnus! Come on! So slow," he called out, rolling his eyes and tapping the door impatiently.

"Alright, alright. Just locking the car doors. Unless you want to walk back home if it gets stolen later?" Magnus was barely next to the door when Alec skipped inside. "Or maybe you don't mind that...."

Alec was by the front counter, groaning in excitement when Magnus went inside. "Caaaaaat. Caaaaaat!" He called out.

"I don't think the cats will answer you back, bud," Magnus chuckled. "I'd be impressed if they did."

Alec shook his head. "N-not that cat. Cat," Alec pointed to a woman with blue hair and ear piercings that walked into the room. "Caaaaaat. Hiiiiiii."

The woman smirked. "Hey, Alec. I was wondering if I'd ever see your lovely face here again. Who's your friend?"

Alec pat Magnus on the shoulder. "Magnus-Magnus. This is Cat. Not a kitty cat. No. Not a cat."

Magnus smiled. "I kind of figured. Hi. I'm Magnus Bane."

The woman grinned back. "Catarina Loss. You're working with Alec?"

"Yeah. Started yesterday. He works here?"

Catarina took Alec's coat and hung it up in the back closet. "Volunteers. He's an excellent worker. Very dedicated and conscientious. Plus he loves the animals and they love him."

Alec pointed to his chest. "Alec will go fill dishes now. Cat? Yes? Then Alec will clean cat cages." He giggled. "So silly. Cat's name is cat like the kitties."

"Knock yourself out, bud. And I don't mean actually knock yourself out-"

"Alec knows it's an expression," he beamed and grabbed a large bag of dog food before disappearing into the back room where the high pitched excited barks of dogs could be heard.

Catarina turned back to look Magnus up and down. "He doesn't take to strangers this quickly. What's your secret?"

"His mom asked me the same thing. I don't have one. We just....clicked, I guess. That's the only thing I can think of."

Catarina made a 'huh' sound and shrugged. "Whatever, dude. You know by know that Alec isn't like other people. He's sensitive. You have to be gentle-"

"I'm aware that he's autistic, Catarina. But I'm also aware that he's a grown man and wants to be treated like one. Regardless of his disorder."

Catarina opened her mouth to speak when Alec reappeared at the counter, tapping her shoulder impatiently. "Yeah, bud?"

"Caaaaat," Alec moaned. "There's no-no kibble left. Alec gave last bit to Xavier."

Catarina held up her pointer finger to Magnus. "Give me a sec. I'll be right back."

Magnus nodded. Alec stayed with him at the counter, humming to himself and looking at a pamphlet. It was an awkward moment.

"Alec is getting a dog soon," Alec whispered/hissed loudly.

"Oh really? What kind?"

Alec smiled broadly. "Follow Alec. Nice doggy. So sweet."

Magnus followed behind Alec towards the dog kennels. The room exploded into a cacophony of barks and howls as soon as they entered. Catarina was at the other end of the room opening another large kibble bag with scissors.

Alec tapped her on the shoulder. "Caaaat. Alec show Magnus dogs. Okay? Yes? Show dogs to Magnus?"

"Go for it! Might even find your soulmate. Alec here has," Catarina grinned and made a face.

"N-no! Cat is kidding. Yes. Cat jokes with Alec. No soulmate. Just good friend," Alec paused in front of a cage. "This is Xavier. Alec's best friend in the whole-whole world."

Magnus smiled at the dog on the other side of the cage door. He was a beautiful Rottweiler with gentle brown eyes and a big smile on his face. He panted happily as Alec pressed his hand against the cage, covering it with with sloppy doggy kisses. "So this is the dog that ate the food?"

"Xavier good dog. Probably hungry. Yeah? Good-good boy," Alec laughed as Xavier barked and wagged his stump of a tail. "Xavier is Alec's dog. Cat is getting him ready for Alec to take home soon. Right Cat?"

"Just waiting on the vet to give him his shots and then he's all yours. Isn't he gorgeous? And everyone says they're a mean breed." Catarina shook her head and scowled. "They're only mean if you teach them to be. Same with Dobermans, German Sheperds and Pit Bulls. Xavier here wouldn't hurt a fly. He refuses to step on his own shadow."

Alec was talking softly to the dog, a broad smile on his face.

"They connected almost immediately," Catarina pointed out. "Alec's first day here, he had a panic attack. It was a crowded day. Open house. He collapsed right where you're standing and couldn't breathe. Xavier here busted down his cage door with pure brute strength and stayed with Alec to calm him down. Had a paw on his chest. It worked too. Alec caught his breath and the two were thick as thieves ever since. He isn't even a certified special needs dog either. He's just good at keeping Alec calm."

Xavier barked again and jumped on his hind legs, tongue lolling.

"Alec loves Xavier and Xavier loves Alec," Alec nodded and frowned. "Xavier helped Alec when-when Alec couldn't breathe. Heart beat too fast. Pain in chest. Xavier helped ease the pain."

Catarina beamed up at Alec. "How about you show Magnus the cats too? I'll take care of the dogs. Then after you can take Xavier for a walk."

Alec clapped his hands. "Yes! Alec would like that! Come on, Magnus. So slow."

Magnus grinned and rolled his eyes. "I'm right behind you, buddy."

Alec led him to the cat room, which was much quieter than what the dog kennels were. A few of the cats meowed when they walked in, but other than the soft purrs not much else could be heard.

"Alec likes cats too. Yes. Cats are nice-" Alec flinched as a massive ball of gray fur hissed and spat at him from inside its cage. "M-most of them. This is Church. He's not-not very nice."

Magnus peered into the cage. A huge gray cat stared back out at him with cold yellow eyes, a deep growl coming from his throat. "He's a charmer. I'm sure he gets all the cat lovers excited."

Alec mumbled and tapped another cage. "Magnus would like this one. This cat is-is nice. Oh yes. Very nice."

This cage had a small tabby inside. Its big blue eyes looked out at Alec and Magnus in curiosity, reaching out a paw and meowing adorably.

Magnus smiled. "I like this one. What's its name?"

"Ch-Chairman Meow. Cat named him. Not-not Alec's first choice," Alec shook his head. "Magnus like Chairman?"

"I do. He's very cute. Can I hold him?" Magnus watched as Alec unlocked the cage and reached in for the cat. The tiny cat purred as he was handed into Magnus' arms, purring even louder when Magnus kissed his furry forehead. "He's so cuddly! So warm too."

Alec hummed and nodded. "The Chairman likes Magnus."

Magnus winced as Chairman Meow latched on to his earring and pulled. "I think he likes my earring more-ow! Okay. Chairman is going back into his cage now. He's all yours."

Alec put the cat back in its cage. "Alec go back to see Xavier now? Yes?"

"Sure. I need to talk to Catarina anyway about something. You go on. I'll only be at the front counter."

Alec went back to Xavier's cage and sat on an overturned bucket. He could hear the muffled voices of Magnus and Cat talking but he couldn't quite catch what they were saying.

"Whispering makes Alec nervous," he said to the Rottweiler. "Makes heart beat faster. Anxiety. Alec can't explain why...." He sighed and closed his eyes, trying to catch his breath. He felt Xavier's warm, wet nose press against the cage and onto his skin. He opened his eyes when Xavier whined. "Alec is okay. Just tired. Working hard to be better for everyone. Like mumma. Isabelle. Magnus. But Alec is okay," Alec pointed to himself and nodded. "Is Xavier okay?"

Xavier whined and wagged his short tail excitedly at the sound of his name.

Alec smiled. "Yes. Xavier is okay. Alec take Xavier home soon. Yes? Xavier will like Alec's windchimes and big apartment. Dog park is close. Go for run and play ball."

The dog barked and spun around in a circle in excitement.

"Hey Alec. Having a chat with Xavier?" Magnus approached, giving Alec a small fright. "Oops. Didn't mean to frighten you."

Alec shrugged. "Alec take Xavier for a walk now. Cat? Leash? Please."

Catarina handed Alec a blue leash. "Remember the route we always take?" She smiled as Alec nodded at the floor. "You'll be fine, bud. Magnus is with you. You're not alone. You'll be okay."

"Alec will be okay," Alec repeated as if to reassure himself. "Cat-Cat not coming? Why?"

"Cat has to hold down the fort. Make sure everything is okay while you're gone," Cat rubbed Alec's back as he giggled nervously. "You'll be fine, buddy. A nice half hour walk will do you boys some good. Plus Xavier would like to meet Magnus."

Magnus glanced at the Rottweiler. The dog looked back at him, a goofy expression on his face. "I'm not really a dog person...."

"You say that but yet you cooed over the beagle back there when we first came in," Catarina smirked. "It's fine. Not everyone can handle dogs. It takes someone skilled to raise them and train them."

"Like Alec," Alec snorted at his own joke. "Alec is skilled. Raised lots of dogs here. Yes."

"And not to mention dogs can sense whether or not you're a nice person. So far none of them are looking at you like you're a steak. So that's a plus." Catarina pat Magnus on the shoulder. "Enjoy your walk. Stick to the route and don't wander off. And don't try to steal Xavier, Alexander. I know where you live."

Alec giggled. "Cat so silly. Alec never steal Xavier. So silly, Cat." He moved out of her reach as she tried to ruffle his hair. "Come on, Magnus. So slow."

"That's the third time he's said that to me today. I'm starting to believe it," Magnus rolled his eyes. "I'll bring them back in a half hour. Don't worry."

"Oh, believe me when I say I try not to. I have to worry. Not only is Xavier very calming to Alec, he's also very protective. When Alec starts to get agitated, Xavier can feel it. Makes him slightly aggressive to the people around them. I've seen it happen before. If he growls, he's just warning people to give Alec some space."

"Does he bite?"

"He hasn't hurt anyone yet, but keep an eye on him anyway. Just in case."

Magnus nodded. "Will do. Thanks for the heads up."

Catarina nodded. "Take them to the park. It's a five minute walk from here. Alec loves sitting on the bench and watching the leaves in the trees. It's calming for him."

Alec was waiting impatiently outside with Xavier when Magnus stepped out of the shelter. "Magnus! Come on. Always so-so slow." He pat Xavier on the head and mumbled something. "Magnus know where to go?"

"I'll follow you so I can learn the route. Sound good?" Magnus zipped up his jacket as the wind picked up a bit.

Alec did the same. "If Magnus gets-gets cold, let Alec know. Okay? We come back to shelter for hot chocolate, yes?"

They had hot chocolate here? Probably in the kitchen they did. For the employees and volunteers only. "Sounds good to me. I love hot chocolate."

Alec smiled broadly. "Alec loves hot chocolate too. Yum. Magnus follow close. Look both-both ways before crossing street."

Magnus almost replied with "yes mom" but stopped himself just in time. Not only was it rude, Alec wouldn't have understood why he said it. "I always do. Do you?"

Alec nodded. "Y-yes. Safety first. Always first. Come on, Xavier. Go for a walk now."

New York in autumn was a magical place. The trees in the park glowed with bright oranges and reds and yellows, the leaves crunching under your feet as you walked on them. You could smell the crisp autumn air too; filled with the smell of fresh pumpkins for sale at the market or in the park and with the scent of freshly baked goods at the hundreds of cafes and bakeries. It was Magnus' favorite time of year.

"Do you enjoy working at the animal shelter?" Magnus asked as they walked down the street together. Xavier was happily walking alongside of them, unaware of the wary looks the other pedestrians were giving him.

Alec nodded. "Yes. Alec likes it a lot. The animals make Alec....my heart feel loved. Nobody loves Alec like animals do."

Magnus frowned at this. "Your family love you, don't they? They love you a lot."

"N-not that kind of love. Love like....love," Alec said 'love' with a different tone, as if to emphasize the kind of love he had meant. "Alec's family love him because he is family. The dogs love Alec because he provides them with things they need. They love Alec in return."

"But...." Magnus shoved his hands into his coat pockets. "The love you're talking about....it's not family love. It's love between two people. Right?"

Alec furrowed his brows. He was trying to process what Magnus meant by that but there were so many things distracting him. The sound of the leaves in the trees. The sight of a man setting up a pumpkin booth. But he focused on Magnus' mouth to keep his mind on the conversation. "Yes. That's what Alec meant. Love b-between two people. Alec doesn't have that. It's....hard for Alec to understand sometimes. Confusing."

"You're not missing much. Love is confusing." Magnus pointed to the bench at the small park. "Let's sit down. Cat said you like sitting here."

Alec hummed and nodded as they sat down. He was quiet for a few minutes, just watching the leaves blow in the gentle breeze above them. "Magnus know what Alec meant, yes?"

"Hmm? About what?"

Alec tapped his forehead. "Alec different from other people. Brain doesn't get things right. Hard to focus. Yes. Focus is hard for Alec. Even now. Alec want to look away at the trees but is trying very hard to keep conversation g-going for Magnus."

Magnus smiled. "It's okay to be different. Nobody's perfect."

Alec moaned softly and shook his head. "Alec knows. But....can Alec tell Magnus something? It's....personal." He took a shuddering breath as Magnus nodded. "Magnus knows that Alec is autistic. Alec finds it very difficult to communicate or show certain emotions. Also hard for Alec to make friends."

Magnus reached down to rub Xavier's ears. "You seem to be doing fine. We're friends. Aren't we?"

Alec shrugged. "N-not yet. Soon. It's also hard for Alec to understand love. Alec knows what it is but...." He squeezed his hands and took a deep breath. Xavier reacted immediately by scooting himself between Alec's legs and resting his chin on Alec's knee, looking up at him with puppy eyes.

"I'm listening. Go on. What about love?" A couple walked by, giving Magnus a hard look, and he almost gave them the finger. Instead, he ignored them.

Alec rubbed the dog's ears, feeling himself calm down. "Alec....will never find love, Magnus. No. No one will love Alec like that. Alec too different."

Magnus felt his heart drop to the ground. Swallowing thickly, he croaked "That's not true, bud. Of course someone will love you. You just haven't met the right person yet."

"But....." Alec rubbed his neck and groaned. "Alec is 23. Never been on a date. Never been kissed. Alec feels lonely. Very lonely. Alec sees Izzy with Simon and Jace with Clary and Alec hurts here," he pointed to his chest, right above where his heart was. "Hurts, Magnus. Hurts Alec."

Magnus had no idea how to respond to this. He didn't think anyone would. When someone pours their heart out to you like this, it's damn near impossible to think past the grief and heartache that you felt for them. "How about this: let's focus on the goals list. Then we'll see where it takes us from there. Agreed?"

Alec nodded as he wiped away a stray tear that he felt rolling down his cheek. "Okay. Sound like a p-plan. Last one back to the shelter is a rotten-rotten egg?"

Magnus made a face. "I don't know, Alec. I know what rotten eggs look like. They have black hair and hazel eyes-"

"Hey!" Alec laughed and hit the bench with his palm as he laughed. "That's not-no! That's not funny, Magnus! Magnus isn't funny!"

Magnus grinned. "I think I'm hilarious. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to be back to the shelter in a few minutes before a rotten egg shows up."

Alec giggled. "What do-do you think, Xavier? Race Magnus back to shelter, yes? Magnus is a rotten egg. Not Alec. No. Alec is a Cadbury Cream Egg."

"Did you just call yourself an Easter chocolate?" Magnus snorted as Alec speed walked past him. "Oh. The silent treatment. I see how it is. Is it hard being a rotten egg?" He smirked as Alec made a fist but giggled uncontrollably. "If I let you win, will you talk to me again?"

Alec looked over his shoulder. His eyes were hidden under his crinkly broad smile. "Maybe. But only if Magnus let Alec win. No more eggs."

"Okay. Then I'll let you win." Magnus smirked as Alec turned back to face the sidewalk. "First one back to the shelter is a booger!"

Alec stopped in place for a moment before walking again. "B-but the second one got to eat it!"

Magnus couldn't help but chuckle as Alec's howl of laughter filled the streets and the air around them, making autumn ten times more enjoyable than it already was.


	5. Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:
> 
> Keep Me In Mind - Cape Club

Alec went to dinner with Isabelle the following day, giving Magnus his first evening off. Much to Alec's distaste, he wanted Magnus to come along with them but Isabelle said no. 

"It's brother/sister time. Come on, Alec. We haven't had a day together in ages. Let's get ice cream and laugh at people blowing away in the wind like we used to."

Alec nodded but didn't say anything to her. He was occupied with the sound of her earrings jingling against her neck as she walked to the mirror on the wall in the hallway, checking her reflection. 

"Ugh. I'm a mess. I guess that's what 8 hours of hanging out with kids all day does to you...." She groaned and tried to tie her hair back with a ponytail. 

"Alec-Alec thinks Izzy looks beautiful," Alec said, attempting to cheer her up. 

"You're too sweet to me, big brother. What would I ever do without you?" She rubbed his back and beamed up at him. "Let's go get some ice cream. I need someone to listen to my rant."

Oh no. Alec knew the word 'rant' never meant anything good and in Isabelle's case, it meant talking for ten minutes straight and giving Alec a headache. He really wished Magnus were here to get him out of this situation. 

The ice cream shop that was open 12 months of the year was Alec's favorite place in the world. He could get as many scoops as he wanted because he owner was a friend of his father's and knew Alec his whole life. He came here when the apartment was getting too suffocating or when he needed to clear his head.

"An-Andrew! Hiiiii," Alec giggled as they entered the shop. The bell above the door grabbed his attention as it jingled but Isabelle managed to reel him back in. 

"Hiya, Alec! Long time no see! Been busy?" Andrew Blackthorn chuckled as Alec pressed his face into the glass case that covered the ice cream. "I see your appetite hasn't changed a bit since I last saw you."

"Dessert is a separate stomach, Andy," Isabelle laughed. "God, when was the last time you even saw us? I remember your family barbecue...."

"That was six years ago. Time certainly flies, huh? Alec got taller. You got more beautiful. My kids got older. I got more gray hair."

"That's what happen when time flies," she smiled as Andrew rolled his eyes. "How's Tiberius? Is he adjusting?"

Alec perked up at Ty's name. He knew Tiberius from autism meetings that he and his mother used to go to a few years ago. Ty would be 15 now. [a/n: adjusted Ty's age a bit for the story]

"He's getting there. Still has trouble getting used to new people and he has tantrums sometimes but we're getting there. We all are," Andrew smiled softly at Alec, who quickly looked away. "So what's on the menu today, big guy?"

Alec looked down at the glass case again, his mind working a million miles an hour. All the possibilities of flavours and combinations he could have raced through his thoughts. He didn't know what he wanted. His mind was going too fast. 

He groaned and clenched his fists. He knew there were people behind him waiting to give their order. He knew Isabelle and Andrew were watching him. He knew he was taking up time and space-

"Oh shit. He's having a panic attack," Isabelle quickly grabbed him and brought him to a table, holding his face between her hands. "Alec? Breathe. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Come on. You know how it goes."

Alec struggled to breathe as Izzy told him to. His nerves were jumping and his vision was going black around the edges. To calm himself down, he bit down on the inside of his cheek to help him focus (which worked). His breath slowly began to go back to normal and his heart stopped racing so fast. 

"There you go. That's it. Calming breaths. Good job, buddy," Isabelle hugged him. "Are you okay now?"

"Alec-Alec is okay. Sorry Izzy. Alec panicked. So many choices...." Alec tapped his forehead and groaned. "Izzy order for Alec? Yes?"

Isabelle looked up at the menu. "What do you want?"

"Surprise," Alec made fists on his lap and giggled softly. "Surprise Alec, Izzy. Please."

Isabelle surprised him with a vanilla milkshake, which he hummed at before he even took his first sip of it. Vanilla was his favorite flavor of all time. 

"Wh-what does Isabelle have, yeah? Ice cream," Alec pointed to Isabelle's banana split. He hated the way everything was touching each other in the bowl. The banana. The chocolate. The sprinkles. The urge to separate everything was strong. 

"Banana split. Want to try some?"

Alec gagged. "No. Alec is okay. Milkshake good. Isabelle good?"

"So dramatic," Isabelle smirked. "But Isabelle is fine. She's enjoying her ice cream like her adorable brother." She laughed as Alec giggled and sipped his drink. "Are you enjoying spending time with Magnus?"

Alec nodded. "Magnus very nice to Alec. Help Alec with goals. Magnus come over to Alec's house? Yeah?"

Isabelle checked the clock. "Magnus has the evening off today, bud. You'll see him tomorrow."

Alec grumbled but chewed on his straw to keep from saying more. As much as he enjoyed going out with Isabelle, he felt somewhat impatient today. He found himself beginning to tap his foot and bounce his leg up and down when she took out her phone and began to text. "Isabelle go soon, yeah? Go back to Alec's for Halloween decorations?"

"Yup. Me and you are going to make your loft really spooky for Halloween."

Alec shivered. "Not too spooky. No. Alec don't like too spooky. Just a little."

Isabelle chuckled. "I know, brother. I even picked up some pumpkins for you and Magnus to carve tomorrow. How does that sound?"

"Pumpkins!" Alec clapped his hands and smiled broadly. "What-what can Alec carve on pumpkin?"

"Carve whatever you want. I'm sure Magnus can help you come up with an idea." Isabelle scooped up the last bit of ice cream with her spoon and shoved it into her mouth. "Mm. My god. That was delicious. How was yours?"

Alec hummed. "An-Andrew make good shake."

"And what do you say to Andy for the good shake?"

Alec turned in Andrew's direction but didn't look up from the table. "Good shake, Andy. Thank you."

Andrew laughed boisterously. "No problem, buddy. Come back again soon, okay? Don't be a stranger."

Isabelle led Alec to the door by the arm. "We'll see you again for sure. Dad's having his annual Halloween party at the end of the month. I'm sure you're invited."

"Can't wait," Andrew smiled. "See you guys soon!"

Alec waved before following Isabelle out to the car. "Izzy? Dad having Halloween party?"

Isabelle climbed into the driver's seat and helped him with his seatbelt. "You know he is. He has one every year. Remember? He was a bear last year."

"A bear," Alec repeated. He vaguely recalled a Halloween party last year, but that's not to say Isabelle wasn't wrong. "Alec be a banana this year."

"You're dead set on being a banana, aren't you?"

Alec cocked his head. "Dead?" 

"I mean you really want to be a banana this year."

Alec nodded. "Yes. Alec be a banana. Izzy be a witch still? Yes?"

Isabelle stopped at a red light. "I'm thinking about it. But it's not the kind of witch you're thinking of. With the warts and the broomstick."

Alec scrunched his face, trying to recall if there were any other kinds of witches out there. "What kind? Izzy tell Alec. Secret."

Isabelle laughed as Alec put a finger to his lips. "You're terrible with secrets! You always have been! You always blab to mom or dad or blurt it out in public!"

"Alec try hard not to blab. Tell. Please."

"Ugh," Isabelle groaned. "Fine. I'm being a....slutty witch. It's a witch costume but it's very skimpy."

Slutty. Skimpy. These were words that Alec wasn't entirely familiar with but he knew they sounded wrong. "Izzy.....are they bad words? Can Alec repeat them?"

"Around me you can. Just don't repeat any of this to mom and dad. They'll wonder where you heard them from." Isabelle snorted in amusement. "They think their little girl is an innocent kindergarten teacher. But unlike them I know how to separate work from fun. And this girl is having fun on Halloween."

Alec felt a headache forming in his temples the more she spoke. "Izzy talk too much. Hurt Alec's head."

"Well excuse me. You're the one who wanted to know what I was being for Halloween." She glanced over at him as he rubbed his head. "Alec? Are you okay?"

Alec nodded. "Alec is okay. Izzy talk too much. Shhh."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "That's the last time I'm ever telling you anything. You practically tell me to shut up."

Alec said nothing. Pressing his forehead against the cold glass of the window, he watched the skyscrapers pass by and listened to the noise of the city outside. He was glad he was inside the car with the windows up. The noise would've overwhelmed him. 

Back at the loft, the first thing he did was take out his homework and open a juice pack. Isabelle had sprawled out on the couch and flipped on the tv, munching on Cheetos. 

"Max never told me what he was being for Halloween. He's gotten all secretive lately. He's only 9. What's he got to so secretive about, anyway?" She popped a Cheeto in her mouth and crunched loudly. 

Alec winced at the noise. "Can-can Izzy keep it down? Chew too loud. Shh. Alec doing homework."

"Sorry. Didn't realize I was being noisy. This bag is really crunchy though-"

"No talk either."

Isabelle threw her hands in the air and mouthed "What the fuck" but Alec wasn't looking. He was concentrated hard on his homework. 

When he finished, Alec sighed heavily and watched the rain that had begun to fall outside. The sound felt peaceful and calming. Much better than Isabelle's abysmal crunching. "Izzy? Alec has a question."

"Oh now you want to talk." Isabelle got up from the couch and sat next to him at the table. "What's your question?"

Alec scratched his neck. "Alec is-is adopting a dog soon."

Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "That's not a question."

"Wasn't Alec's question."

"Oh."

Feeling an itch crawling up his arm, Alec jerked quickly and scratched it. "Can Izzy help Alec buy d-dog things? Like leash? Dish? Collar? Yeah?"

"Yeah, I'd love to help you. What kind of dog is it?"

Alec moaned. "No. No, Izzy won't like it. Mean breed. But not mean. Only mean if raised that way." He remembered Cat mentioning that at the shelter the other day and shook his head at the memory. 

"Tell me anyway. I like all dogs."

Alec flicked his gaze to Isabelle for a moment before looking at his juice pack. He hadn't noticed this before but the apple on the side of the pack had a smiley face and was holding a much smaller juice pack, which was silly. Apples don't drink apple juice-

"Alec? Come back to me, bud. Tell me about your dog."

At the sound of Isabelle's voice, Alec jolted back to reality. "Xavier. Rottweiler. Nice pup. Help Alec stay calm. Yes. Very calm. Cat let Alec take him for walks."

Isabelle rubbed his back. "Xavier sounds like a wonderful dog. Can I meet him sometime?" She smiled as Alec nodded. "Awesome. I love dogs! I'm so glad you're getting one. I might steal him from you."

Alec's eyes widened at this. "N-no! Izzy! Xavier Alec's dog. No steal. Alec will tell mumma."

Isabelle cackled. "What's telling mom going to do? That hasn't worked since we were teens!"

"Alec will tell mumma Izzy being a slutty witch."

Isabelle glared at him. "You wouldn't dare."

Alec nodded. 

"Fine. Tell her. See if I care. I'm a grown woman. It's not like she can ground me or anything."

Alec shrugged and chewed on the straw to his juice box. "Magnus wears lots of necklaces like Izzy."

"Yeah? That's cool." Isabelle knew this had nothing to do with their previous conversation but she went with it anyway. 

"Mmhmm. Jingles like bells. Very nice. Can Alec get necklace too?"

"Seriously?" Isabelle snorted. "Alright. That's up to you. I'll get you a necklace and give it to you the next time I visit. Sound good?"

Alec nodded and hummed, pleased that he was getting a necklace. He wanted to be more like Magnus and make Magnus proud of him in areas other than learning. "Magnus be here tomorrow? Yeah?"

"Yup. Tomorrow is Thursday too. Don't forget what happens tomorrow."

Alec gripped his hair, trying to remember what happens tomorrow. "Alec don't know, Izzy. Tell Alec."

Isabelle leaned in and poked his cheek. "It's Hell's Kitchen Thursday. You love Hell's Kitchen."

Ah. Hell's Kitchen. He enjoyed watching Hell's Kitchen after school. Ever since Isabelle sat down and watched the first season with him, he'd been obsessed with it ever since. There was something oddly calming about watching the chefs mix ingredients together and cook them. The only thing he didn't like was when Gordon Ramsey yelled. He didn't like that at all. The first time he ever heard Ramsey yell it frightened him for the rest of the night. 

"Hell's Kitchen. Izzy come over for Hell's Kitchen, yes?" He asked. 

"I wish I could, Alec. But I have a date with Simon tomorrow-hey. Don't make that face."

Alec shrugged. "Alec never made face. Izzy silly."

"No. I saw you roll your eyes when I mentioned Simon. What don't you like about him?"

Alec rubbed his neck, shaking his head and saying nothing. He didn't want to say anything that would hurt his sister's feelings. 

Isabelle shrugged. "Alright. Suit yourself. But I like Simon, Alec. I really do. He's sweet. Funny-"

"Simon talk too much. Like Izzy."

"Oh ho ho. Watch it, buster. I'm the one brings your butt around the city to all your social gatherings. I can give that up if you keep talking like that."

Alec winced at the thought of Izzy not taking him to his favorite places anymore and potentially leaving him. "No, Izzy. No. Please. S-stay with Alec. Yes?"

When she saw Alec's pained expression, Isabelle reached over and started to rub his back. "I wasn't being serious. I'm sorry if I frightened you."

"It's-it's okay, Izzy. Alec just got frightened a little. It's okay," he pat Isabelle on the head and nodded. 

"God, I really hate when you pat me on the head. It makes me feel small," Isabelle chuckled softly. "Why do you do it?"

Alec scrunched his face in thought. "Be-because Izzy is small. To Alec." He tapped her shoulder. "Izzy little sister." Then he pointed to himself. "Alec big brother."

Isabelle smiled broadly. "Yes. That's right. You're my big brother and I love you more than anything else in the world."

Alec giggled. "More than Simon?"

"Hey!" Isabelle ruffled his black hair and laughed. "Why did you have to bring Simon into this? We were sharing a cute sibling moment!"

Alec groaned and pat his hair down. "Mom-moment over now. Alec make dinner. Hungry."

"Of course you are. You're a bottomless pit," Isabelle grumbled. "How does pizza sound? I'll order it. My treat."

Alec nodded and hummed. Pizza was another food he enjoyed. "Cheese, Izzy. Just cheese, okay?"

"I know, bud-"

"Izzy get Pepsi too?"

"Shh! It's ringing-hi! I'd like to place an order for delivery?"

Alec tuned out her voice as he picked up a pencil and paper and started to doodle. He thought about how Magnus styled his hair; spiked with small specks of glitter in it. He also thought about the way Magnus wore all those necklaces and the way they tinkled when they brushed up against each other. The sound made him happy. Magnus made him happy. 

"Pizza's ordered. Cheese, just the way you like it." Izzy placed her phone on the kitchen table and sat down next to him. "Hey. What are doodling there?"

Alec tried to move the paper from her view but she snatched it before he could. He clenched his hands into fists and moaned in protest. 

"Oh give it up. It's just a drawing-oh. This handsome guy looks familiar. Got a little Magnus Bane on your mind, Alexander?" Isabelle giggled as he rubbed his neck. "Relax. It's okay. You should show this to him tomorrow. He'd like this."

"Magnus like this? Drawing of Magnus?" Alec tapped the paper. "Alec draw this. Of Magnus. Like it?"

"I do. It's beautiful. Magnus would want to have this. Can you draw me too?"

Alec giggled. "No. Alec tired. Hand cramp."

"Hand cramp. Oh. Okay. I guess your hand is too tired to eat your pizza then. That's too bad."

Alec whined. "Alec is okay! Joking. Izzy supposed to laugh."

"I am. I have an entire large cheese pizza to myself. None for Alec." She sighed when Alec began to rub his shoulder and grumble. "I'm joking, Alec. Of course you're having pizza. Relax."

Alec nodded. "Alec sorry, Izzy. Very sorry."

"For?"

"Not under-understanding joke. Not quick like Izzy. Not smart enough."

Isabelle kissed her brother on the cheek. "You're plenty smart. Sometimes I wish I had your brain. You see things differently from everyone else. The world could use a different viewpoint."

A knock on the door grabbed Alec's attention. "Door, Izzy. Pizza, yeah? Alec pay for pizza." He pointed to his chest. "Alec's.....my treat."

Isabelle smiled. "I got it this time, bud. But I'll hold you to that. Next time we order in you can treat me. Okay?"

Alec nodded and watched her open the front door and pay for the pizza. Glancing at the doodle of Magnus, he picked it up with a hand and crumpled it, tossing it into the trash bin before Isabelle could stop him. 

"Oh god it smells good. You excited?" She laughed when Alec nodded enthusiastically. "Me too! Now we need to pick out a movie to watch for tonight. Any suggestions?"

Alec grabbed a slice and bit into it, nearly burning his tongue. He quickly remembered what Magnus taught him and gently blew on the pizza before taking another bite, taking a sip of water first. "Alec suggests The Hobbit."

"The Hobbit, huh? Why?"

Alec shrugged. "Good book. Good movie. The hero won. Bilbo won."

"Whoa there. Spoiler alert," Isabelle chuckled. "If that's what you want to watch then I'll go turn it on. Bring the pizza box in the living room when you come in. We'll eat and enjoy the movie even more that way."

Alec nodded. "Okay. Izzy? Pizza is hot. Blow gently. It will cool down."

Wondering how he learned this, Isabelle went along with him anyway. "Good thinking, bro. I'll do that. Now come on. We got an unexpected journey to watch."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm overwhelmed with all the positive responses this story has been getting. I'm so glad you guys are enjoying this and I'm trying my best to stay true to autism and to the characters. Thank you so much


	6. Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Song used:
> 
> Bright - Echosmith

"Careful with that knife, please. It's sharp."

"Alec knows it's sharp. Magnus be careful too."

Magnus smirked as Alec drew a pattern on the pumpkin. After a half hour of scooping out the pumpkin's insides (Alec wouldn't touch it) they were finally getting around to drawing designs and carving it. Magnus decided to go with the old fashioned jack o'lantern whereas Alec went with a much more sophisticated pattern. 

Alec was concentrating very hard. He had his mind set on carving the Pokemon Gengar on the front and have a candle inside so the design would stand out more in the dark. Getting the pattern off the Internet was easy enough. Now he just needed to carve it out. 

"Yours looks nice so far. Check mine out." Magnus turned his around to face Alec. "Does it look okay so far?" When Alec didn't acknowledge him, he shrugged and turned the pumpkin around again. "Okey dokey. I'll take that as a sign."

"Pass Alec the spoon please, Magnus." Alec made a grabby hand as Magnus handed him a spoon. "Yucky pumpkin insides. Feel gross. Magnus left some inside."

"Sorry. I thought I got it all out for you. Check mine too while you're at it. I have to use the bathroom real quick."

Alec snatched Magnus' pumpkin and peered inside. "All clean. Magnus okay," he gave a thumbs up and went right back to his own pumpkin. 

Magnus took that as a compliment and walked down the hall to the bathroom. Like the rest of the loft, Alec's bathroom was really nice. Big shower with knobs for blasts of hot to dry you off, a sink large enough to fit three babies inside (not that he ever wanted to try) and a large closet that held all the towels and other bathroom supplies. Of course, on either side of the sink hanging from the ceiling were intricate looking windchimes. Magnus could see tiny bits of sea glass attached to the strings and when he touched them, they tinkled gently. 

He smiled. Alec had good taste when it came to decorations. From calming windchimes to soothing paintings on the walls, he had a good eye for art. Another thing about him that Magnus admired-

A scream from the kitchen snapped him to attention. Forgetting he had to use the bathroom, altogether, he rushed out to see what happened. 

Alec was holding his hand and rocking back and forth in his chair, mumbling and shaking his head. Magnus could see a little bit of blood dripping down the side of his right hand. 

"Alec. Did you cut yourself?" He knelt down in front of Alec when there was no answer. "Alec, you have to tell me if you're hurt so I can help you."

Alec whined. "Alec cut his hand. Blood. Mmm...." He moaned. "Alec going to die, Magnus? No?"

"Not on my watch. Doctor Magnus is in the building. I have just the thing for you."

Alec flinched away when Magnus reached into his bag and pulled out white bandages and string and scissors. "No. No, Magnus. No, please. Nononono...."

"Relax. I'm not going to hurt you. The bandages will help you get better. Now give me your hand. I have to see if you need stitches or not." When Alec didn't move, he sighed. "You can trust me, you know. I'm not going to hurt you. Do you trust me, Alexander?"

Magnus couldn't believe what was about to happen next. If someone told him that the following event was going to happen, he would've laughed right in their face. 

Alec looked up into his eyes and held his gaze steady, staring into Magnus' eyes as if searching for an answer. Alec had Bambi eyes; wide and full of wonder and enchantment. Magnus never noticed the bit of emerald green in the center around the iris before, with flecks of gold mixed with the brown. These eyes saw only good in the world and such purity like this needed to be protected. 

Magnus wished he could say the same. His eyes weren't like Alec's. He didn't see the world as all the colors of the rainbow. All he saw was black and white with the occasional shade of gray. 

"Alec trusts Magnus. Very much," Alec pointed to his chest then pointed to Magnus, nodding his head and finally opening his hand. 

Realizing he wasn't breathing, Magnus shuddered with a shaky sigh before focusing on Alec's cut in front of him. "Ah. It's only small. No stitches needed here, handsome. Just going to clean it and then wrap it up. You're going to be just fine."

Alec moaned as Magnus opened a bottle of rubbing alcohol. The smell of the liquid made his nose burn. "Will-will this hurt? Will this hurt, Magnus?"

"Just a little bit-wait. Stay there. I have an idea." He got up and went over to the windchime hanging from above the kitchen sink and brushed his fingers over it. "Focus on the sound, Alec. Listen to the chimes."

Alec didn't need to be told twice. As soon as Magnus touched it, his mind was already in another world as the sound took him and all his senses with him. He didn't even feel the cotton swab or the rubbing alcohol touch his skin as Magnus cleaned the cut on his hand. The chimes were so nice and calming...

"There. All done. Was that so bad?" Magnus laughed as Alec continued to stare at the chimes. "Come back to me, Alec. I can't carve these pumpkins alone. I don't even know what a Gengar is."

Alec blinked and turned his head. "Magnus? Alec's hand is okay?"

"Of course. Take a look and see for yourself. Can I touch your wrist?" When Alec nodded in consent, Magnus gently took his wrist and lift it to show him his hand. "See? I promised I wouldn't hurt you. And I didn't."

Alec looked at the bandage around his hand. "Alec trusted Magnus not to hurt him. Magnus didn't." He groaned and nodded. "Thank you Magnus. Thank you."

Magnus smiled and gently kissed the palm of Alec's hand where the bandage was. "That's what I'm here for."

Alec stared down at his hand. "Why did Magnus kiss Alec's hand?"

Shit. Magnus didn't ask for permission to do that. "I'm sorry. You didn't like it?"

Alec thought quite the opposite, actually. He liked the way his palm tingled with heat mixed with an odd feeling of excitement. He never felt that way before. Or even remotely experienced something like that. When he tried to tell Magnus this, his mind shut down completely and he squeezed his hands instead, trying to stimulate some sort of response. All he felt was a stinging pain in his palm as he dug his fingers into his hand. 

"It's okay. You don't have to say anything. Sometimes silence speaks volumes," Magnus said. He knew Alec was trying to say something but he couldn't find the words just by the way he was rubbing his neck and muttering under his breath. "Hey. It's okay. Seriously. Don't force out the words. Let them form another way."

Form another way. Alec glanced at the pumpkin beside him and scratched his neck. Let the words form another way. The only other way Alec knew how to communicate was through sign language and art. 

Art. Carving pumpkins was considered art, wasn't it? Alec wracked his brain for the answer but came up blank. It had to be. If people sculpted using clay then this had to be the same thing. 

Picking up a wet towel, he cleared the design he already had on the pumpkin and started drawing another one. 

Magnus took notice of this. "Why'd you do that?"

Alec shrugged. "Didn't-didn't like what was there. Starting over. New idea."

"Ah. I see," Magnus whispered. Alec was tapping his forehead, deep in thought, and he didn't want to interrupt him. "I'll be out on the deck, okay? Scream if you need me."

"Like yell?"

"Call out my name. Don't actually scream. The neighbors will start to think things."

Out on the deck, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it up. He didn't smoke often. In fact, he only recently picked it up and found it to be quite relaxing on the nerves. Not that his nerves were bad right now or anything. He just needed a breath of air. 

Looking over his shoulder at Alec through the patio door made him frown. Maybe kissing him on the hand was going a bit too far. He didn't want to confuse Alec or give him the wrong idea. Was Alec even interested in men? He had no idea. There was no indication of it anywhere in the loft. Nor did Alec bring it up. Magnus felt it was rude to ask as well.

He would just have to wait to see if time will tell. 

"Magnus? Alec needs help with-with the marker. Won't work," Alec called out. 

"Coming bud," Magnus said, quickly tossing the cigarette bud to the patio and stepping on it. He grimaced. He'd clean it up before he left for the night. 

Alec shook the black marker and groaned as Magnus came back inside. "Alec thinks it dried up. Stopped working. More markers?"

More markers. Now that was a good question. "You don't have anymore here?" Alec shook his head in response. "Okay. Uh.....will a pencil work? You can still see the design on the pumpkin if you draw on it."

Alec made another grabby hand as Magnus handed him a pencil. "Doesn't work. Alec will carve without design. Design up here," he tapped his forehead and carefully placed the knife in his hand. "Won't cut hand again. No. Very careful."

"Yes. Be careful. You need both hands for piano and for school," Magnus pointed out. He made a move to sit down at the table but Alec shook his head vigorously. "What's wrong?"

"No. Don't sit down, Magnus."

Magnus glanced at the chair. "Did you put glue on my chair or something? If you did, you just gave yourself away."

Alec giggled. "Magnus silly. No glue on chair. Pumpkin a surprise. Magnus can't look until Alec finished."

"Ohh. I get it. You want me out of the room so you can carve a surprise on your pumpkin." He grabbed an orange from the fruit bowl on the kitchen counter. "Well then. I'll be in the living room. Remember what I said about the knife?"

"Sharp. Be careful with that knife, please," Alec mumbled, concentrated more on carving than the conversation being held. He could just see the finished product so clearly that he wanted to finish without being interrupted by anything or anyone. Magnus included. 

"Okay. I'll leave you to it then." Magnus smiled before malign his way to the living room, taking the book he'd been trying to finish with him. 'Carry On' by Rainbow Rowell. He started it months ago but couldn't find the time to finish. 

He was like this with most things in life. He'd start something but never finish. Books, renovations to his house in Brooklyn, art projects. There was an endless list of things he started and gave up on. 

People were a different story. He never gave up on people; it was actually vice versa. He'd been fired from jobs because his employers didn't agree with his methods or the way he treated his patients. Granted, he treated them with nothing but kindness and love and utmost patience but he guessed that's not how his employers thought people with autism needed to be treated. 

He looked up at Alec. Alexander Gideon Lightwood. The gorgeous raven haired man was hunched over a piece of paper and was scratching his neck, deep in thought. Magnus thought he looked absolutely adorable like this, when he was deep in thought. He'd never give up on Alec. No. There wasn't enough money in the world to make him give up on Alec. 

But would Alec give up on him?

He didn't want to think about this so he flipped open his book and began to read. Every now and then he heard Alec giggle or groan. Maybe an occasional grumble or two. He sounded like he was having fun in there. What on earth was he carving on that pumpkin?

"You okay in there, bud?" Magnus called out. 

Alec answered with a grunt. "Alec is okay. Carving now. Concentrating."

Magnus snorted. "Okay. I won't bother you while you carve."

"Okay."

An hour passed and finally (after much muttering and grumbling) Alec shuffled into the living room and plopped himself next to Magnus on the couch. "Alec finished now. Magnus can't see yet. Halloween."

"Seriously? You were there for an hour and I can't see it until Halloween?"

Alec put a finger to his lips. "Surprise, Magnus. Shh. Alec work hard on pumpkin. Be patient."

"Well then," Magnus laughed. "I guess I don't have any other choice. Did you clean up your mess when you were finished?" Alec nodded. "Good. I should clean mine too-"

"Alec cleaned everything up. Magnus' mess too."

Magnus blinked. "You did?"

"Magnus was-was reading so Alec cleaned for him. No big deal," Alec pat Magnus on the head. "Good b-book?"

"Uh," Magnus sputtered, looking down at his book on his lap. "Yeah. So far it's really good. Do you want to borrow it when I'm finished? You might like it."

Alec nodded as he reached for the collar of his shirt and brought it up to his mouth, sucking on it. 

Magnus watched for a few seconds. "Shirt taste good?" He knew the joke was going to go right over Alec's head, but he said it anyway. 

"Not-not really. Taste like detergent," Alec shrugged. "Alec know it's a bad habit. Mumma said so too."

"Well mumma isn't wrong. But as long as it comforts you. Does it make you happy?"

Alec furrowed his brows, trying to find an answer for that. "Magnus make Alec happy."

If Magnus died this very moment, he would've died quite content with his life. It's funny how a simple comment like this can someone's entire life complete. That's how he felt right now. Right here. Sitting next to a young man whom he only met a few days ago but yet felt like he's know him for years. 

"That's sweet of you to say." Magnus cleared his throat. "I think it's time I head home. It's almost 9 o'clock. You have school tomorrow. You know what that means?"

Alec frowned. "Alec has presentation. Yes. Presentation. Skip it?"

"You wish. You're not getting off that easy, buddy. Once you start talking about it, you won't even realize you're in front of the class. You'll be too excited talking about your drawing."

"Jace said to think of the class naked. Alec think that's gross, yeah?"

"I would never do it but for some people it helps. Just do what makes you comfortable, okay?"

After a moment of silence, Alec tapped Magnus on the shoulder. "Magnus come see presentation? See Alec at school?"

"I'm not sure if I can, Alec...." Magnus saw Alec's pained expression and sighed. "I'll try to make it, okay? I can't guarantee anything so don't be disappointed if I don't show up."

Alec clapped his hands. "Alec very excited for Magnus to come to school. See presentation. Grocery shopping after school?"

"Grocery shopping?" Magnus chuckled. "Sure. We need to fill the cupboards with a little more than just Kraft dinner and soup. A man can't survive on that alone."

Alec giggled as Magnus got to his feet and collected his belongings. He was already giddy with excitement for tomorrow that he couldn't wait to go to school. The thought of Magnus being there calmed him down a lot; the idea of having to get up in front of the class didn't sound so bad if Magnus was there to see him. 

"Alrighty then. I'm gone. Remember, I'll try and make it tomorrow. Get some sleep tonight, big guy. Refresh for your big day, okay?"

Alec nodded. "Okay, Magnus. Alec will sleep lots tonight. Bye."

Magnus smiled broadly. Alec was one of those people that flapped their fingers when they waved. It was adorable. "See you tomorrow. Bye."

When Magnus left, Alec made his way into the kitchen and peered beneath the white cloth he had tossed over the pumpkin so Magnus couldn't see it if he happened to go into the kitchen for something. He smiled broadly at what he designed on it. 

"S-surprise, Magnus. Magnus make Alec happy. Very happy." Looking down at his bandaged hand, it turned it around back and forth before leaning down and gently kissing the palm of his hand.


	7. Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the chapter where we begin to see some of the problems Alec has to deal with in his personal life. We'll see Magnus' problems as well and how the two help each other overcome them as the story progresses. 
> 
> Enjoy :)
> 
> Song used:
> 
> Hold On - SKIES

There was a routine that Alec always followed in the morning. Wake up, do 50 push ups/50 sit ups, eat breakfast, shower, shave (which he did everyday), brush his teeth, get dressed, feed the birds, then get his school things together. If he didn't follow this routine everyday (aside from weekends) he'd be thrown off for the rest of the day. He liked schedules and routines. Following them just meant being focused and not have to worry about distractions. 

And there were many. 

The following day, the day of his presentation, he gathered his backpack and his lunch for school and waited outside for Jace to pick him up. Jace always gave him a ride to school every morning. The subway was too crowded for him. 

"What's with the big smile on your face this morning?" Jace asked as Alec climbed into the car. 

"N-nothing. Alec just excited for school. Friday," he giggled and shook his head. "Alec can't be happy for the weekend?"

"By all means. Party on, dude." Jace carefully backed out of the parking lot. "I thought you were nervous for your art presentation today?"

Alec gripped his knees and groaned. "Not much nervous anymore. Mag-Magnus coming to see Alec present today. Excited."

Jace smiled as his brother pointed to himself. "Awesome. I'm glad you're excited. Makes me happy seeing you happy."

"Yes," Alec nodded. "Alec happy. Jace?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Cl-Clary help Alec with piano, yes?"

"Of course. She'll set everything up. Whatever you need is already in the music room. Just need to plop your butt down on the chair and play away."

Alec snorted when Jace said 'plop'. "Jace silly. Always silly, Jace." 

Piano was an after school thing he went to on Fridays. He enjoyed running his fingers over the keys and how the notes sounded in the soundproof music room. He didn't need notes to make music; he didn't quite know how to read them. He always had an exceptional knack for listening to a piece of music and learning the notes individually. He could hear each separate note as the song played. 

"Clary's good like that. She always knows what you need before you need it," Jace smiled as they pulled up into the parking lot of the school. "You have everything you need?"

Alec nodded. "Yes."

"Books? Lunch? Teddy?"

"J-Jace. Stop. Alec doesn't-doesnt need Teddy. Not here. No."

Jace pat Alec. "Sorry. I forgot. Listen...good luck with your presentation. I'm rooting for you."

Alec smiled. "Okay, Jace. Bye."

He wasted no time getting to class early to get his usual seat in the front of the room. He preferred getting there before everyone else so his anxiety of entering a crowded room wouldn't be as bad. He surprised himself; not a single panic attack since the beginning of the school year. Alec was quite proud of himself for this. 

The crowd slowly trickled in one by one. No one acknowledged him; they had their own group of friends to talk to. They only talked to Alec when they had to, such as group projects. Other than that, Alec didn't really have any friends besides Clary. 

Clary Fray, Jace's girlfriend, took her normal seat next to him. Her fiery red hair was very distracting but Alec managed to keep his eyes off of it during lectures. She recorded the professor during class and had Alec take the recording device home to listen to it. He found it easier to focus when there weren't a hundred other people in the room. 

"Hey Alec. Are you nervous for presentations today?" She whispered as the professor came into the room. 

Alec grimaced. "Not-not really. Alec has a guest here. Soon. Yes. Watching Alec present."

Clary smiled. "That's nice. I'm glad they're here to support you. I'll be supporting you too."

Alec nodded and squeezed his fingers nervously. Where was Magnus? He didn't see him come in when the other students came. Did he forget? Was he able to make it?

"Good morning everyone. Hope everyone is ready for presentations today. I'm excited to see what you guys have for me," the professor, who goes by James, said to his class. "Who would like to start us off?"

Nobody raised their hand or spoke up. Alec didn't say anything either. He'd gladly volunteer to go second, but never first. 

"Okay. I'm going to have to go by rows one at a time. Alec? You're up first, bud."

Alec squeezed his fingers again and shut his eyes, groaning. "Alec go second, please. Not first."

James chuckled. "We're all excited to see what you painted. Aren't we?"

A series of agreement from the class prompted Alec to take a deep breath and collect his painting from beside his desk. He had covered it with a cloth the night before so no one could see it until the time was right. 

Now at the front of the class, Alec felt his anxiety kick in as he looked out at everyone and everyone looked back at him. Instantly, he averted his gaze to the floor and moaned quietly. 

"Alec? Are you okay?" James asked. 

Alec was about to answer when there was a knock on the classroom door. It opened and a familiar face stepped into the room. Almost immediately, Alec felt the stress and anxiety leave his body as Magnus looked up and smiled. 

"Hi. I'm here to see Alec present. Just pretend I'm not here," he whispered, slipping into one of the chairs in the back row. 

Feeling much more confident, Alec took a deep breath before removing the cloth from his painting. "Alec p-picked the Statue of Liberty. Lots of green and blue-" He shut his eyes and groaned. "Alec isn't comfortable up here. Can't-can't speak clearly."

James frowned. "You're doing great, Alec. Keep going."

Alec grunted and shook his head. All he wanted to do right now was sit back down and suck on the collar of his shirt to calm him down. Clearly, that wasn't happening. 

"How about this," a voice spoke up. Alec opened his eyes to see Magnus standing next to him. "Your brother Jace said you sign better than you speak. Why don't you sign out your presentation and I'll translate?"

This idea seemed to please Alec. He nodded and scratched his neck. "Magnus translate, yes? Because Magnus know sign language."

"Exactly," Magnus smiled. "Let's do this. You and me. I know you can."

Alec smiled at the floor as he turned to face the class again. He heard Magnus whisper "Whenever you're ready" to him and he raised his hands and began to sign out his presentation. 

Magnus translated, keeping up with Alec's quick hand movements with the slightest of ease. "I chose the Lady Liberty because my parents used to take me and my sister there every autumn when we were kids. We used to think we were on top of the world and that nothing could touch us. What attracted me to this spot were the colors of the Lady and the way the water changed to different shades of blue depending on what kind of a day it was."

Alec paused for a moment and scratched his head, turning ever so slightly towards Magnus. 

"You're doing amazing. Keep going," Magnus encouraged him, bringing Alec to start signing again. "Liberty is my favorite location in New York. It doesn't matter how many times I visit, I'll always find some new inspiration to paint it over and over again and that's why I chose it for my presentation today."

Alec lowered his hands to his aides and nodded. "Alec finished now. No more."

The class broke out into applause and cheers as Alec shuffled back to his seat and sat down. His heart was pounding in his chest but he felt so good now that was done and over with. 

"You did incredible, Alec. I'm so proud of you," Clary whispered to him with a smile. 

"Th-thank you," Alec smiled to himself. 

Several more students did their own presentation before James dismissed them for lunch. Magnus waited behind until the crowd was gone with Alec before speaking with him. 

"You did amazing. How do you feel?" He asked. 

Alec huffed. "Like a-a million bucks," he answered with a smile. "Magnus made it. Didn't let Alec down."

Magnus shook his head. "I felt that if I didn't show up with a good reason, the guilt would eat at me. I'm glad I did because that was a fantastic presentation and you should feel very proud of yourself."

Alec beamed. "Yes. Alec feel very proud. Go to lunch now. Yes. Lunchtime." He gathered his backpack and made his way to the door, pausing as he reached for the handle. "Magnus come too? Lunch? Fajita Friday."

Magnus laughed. "Fajita Friday. How can I say no to that?"

The cafeteria was crowded. Slowly and surely Alec could feel his anxiety creep back up on him and he huffed quietly to himself as he he squeezed his eyes shut. 

"Hey. It's okay. We're going to get some food and sit down just like every evening this week so far. Okay?" Magnus pat Alec's back and smiled. "Find a table and I'll get you some lunch. What would you like to drink?"

Alec scratched his head, mind more focused on the crowd talking than on Magnus. "Juice. Apple."

"Okay. Go find a seat and I'll be right back, okay? I'll be right back."

Alec shuffled over to an entry table and sat down. A couple of pairs of eyes were on him as he stared down at the table, not even daring to look up at the people at the table beside him. If there was anything he hated more in this world, it was when people stared at him. It made him uncomfortable-

"I'm back. Didn't take long. Three fajitas and an apple juice for the big guy," Magnus took a seat next to Alec and handed him two fajitas wrapped in plastic. "I got you two in case you were hungry. I just wanted one. What's wrong?"

Alec shrugged nonchalantly. The people at the table next to them were whispering and giggling as they looked at Alec some more. "N-nothing. Fajita smell good, yeah?"

Magnus raised an eyebrow as Alec opened his fajita and took a bite. "You're acting odd. What's up?"

Alec put a finger to his lips. "Nothing. Alec just glad th-that presentation over. Can relax now."

"No. That's not what's bothering you. I know it isn't." Magnus looked down at his fajita. "Let's pretend these are truth fajitas. If you eat them, you have to tell the truth. Sound like a plan?"

"Okay," Alec took a bite and chewed, swallowed, then took a drink of his juice. "The p-people behind Magnus are staring and laugh-laughing at Alec."

Magnus opened his own fajita. "Why are they doing that?"

"Because Alec different."

This was ridiculous, and Magnus laughed at how stupid that was. "So what if you're different? Everyone's different. I'm different. Notice how I'm the only Indonesian in the room. That makes me very different."

Alec looked at Magnus quickly to get a look. "Alec didn't know Magnus was Indo....In...."

"Indonesian. Yeah, I am. I wasn't born in America like you were. But I'm okay with being different. It's what makes me unique."

"Unique," Alec repeated. "Alec is unique, yeah?"

"Definitely! I don't know many people that collect beautiful windchimes like you do. That's very unique." Magnus took another bite of his fajita. "Hey. What do say we take the afternoon off and go grocery shopping? Just me and you?"

Alec rubbed his neck. "But classes...Alec has piano with Clary."

"I'll get you back in time for piano. What time is your lesson?"

Alec looked down at his watch. "Three o'clock. Yes. At three."

"Perfect! We won't be long. We'll be back in no time. Take your time eating. No rush," Magnus smiled as Alec bit into his lunch again, grumbling to himself. It was at that moment when he heard the group of students behind him whisper and giggle. 

"He's so weird. He's in my English class and he doesn't even look up when the professor speaks. Just stares at his desk the entire time."

"He's in my Art class. He just did a presentation and he signed out the entire thing because he kept stuttering. The Asian one translated."

"He's kinda hot, to be honest. With that black hair-and he's ridiculously tall too."

"What a retard."

They snickered some more and Magnus couldn't take it any more. "Come on, Alec. Let's head out now. Take your fajita to go."

"Where-where?" Alec asked as he wrapped his food up carefully.

"We're going on a field trip to the grocery store. I can't...I can't sit here any more. It's too much."

Alec paused a moment. He knew how Magnus felt; that was every day of his life. Everything always felt like too much but he endured it. He had to. "O-okay. Alec buy Kraft dinner, yeah? Running low."

Magnus snorted. "The reason why I was taking you grocery shopping in the first place was to get you food other than Kraft dinner."

"Alec like Kraft dinner. One box. Just one."

Magnus sighed as Alec raised a pointer finger. "One box. That's all you're getting. Just the one."

Alec clapped his hands and beamed. "One box! Yes! Magnus get one box. Just the one."

Magnus smiled as Alec shuffled out of the cafeteria towards the main exit to the parking lot before he leaned in to the table that were whispering about Alec. 

"Talk about Alec like that again and I will find something-some way to ruin your life. He doesn't deserve your bullshit. Save it for someone who does."

The group of students had slack jaws as he strode away from their table and made his way out into the hallway. Alec stood with the collar of his shirt in his mouth, sucking gently. He immediately let go when he saw Magnus. 

"Magnus! So slow. Ready? Yes?" He pointed to Magnus and nodded. 

"I'm ready when you are, bud. Let's go get some groceries."

**********

"Alec can't do this."

"Say that again but make it positive."

"Alec positive he can't do this."

They've been sitting in the parking lot for 15 minutes. Once Alec caught a glimpse of all the cars, did some quick calculations in his head, and decided that this place was much too crowded for his liking. 

Magnus, determined to boost Alec's confidence enough to make the trip inside, sat in the driver's seat and watched as people went in and out of the building. 

"Alec. You know you have to do this eventually. I can't be here all the time. You have to be able to do this yourself."

Alec huffed. "Magnus here now. Come in with Alec, yeah?"

"Yes, I'm going in too but right now I'm struggling just to make you come in with me. If we're together, it's not as bad, right?"

Someone walked in front of the car and glanced in at them. Alec averted his gaze. "No. But still scary for Alec. People talk. Whisper. Makes Alec nervous."

Magnus shook his head. "Well....here's what we're going to do. If at any time you feel nervous or anxious, hold my hand. Is that okay with you?"

Hold his hand? Alec almost giggled at the thought of holding Magnus' hand but remembered how nice his own hand felt when it was being wrapped up in the bandage (which it still was) by Magnus just yesterday. Magnus had soft and gentle hands. "Okay. Alec will hold Magnus' hand when nervous. Yes."

"That's the spirit! Now let's go in and get some real food that you can survive on."

Alec followed close behind, never trailing far from Magnus as they picked up some of his favorite food (he has a long list of favorites) such as eggs, assorted fruits and vegetables, instant noodles, peanut butter and jam, juice packs and other things he enjoyed eating. 

"Okay....judging by this cartload, I'd say we had a successful shopping trip. What do you think?" Magnus turned to look at Alec, but the raven haired man was gripping his hands and breathing heavily beside him. "Alec? Are you okay?"

Alec wheezed. "Alec....very anxious. Can't breathe. Chest hurts."

Right off the bat, Magnus knew that Alec was having an anxiety attack. "Remember what I said in the car? Take my hand. Squeeze it. Think about happy things-like your windchimes. Think about your chimes, Alexander."

Alec moaned and reached down, fumbling to find Magnus' hand. Once he found it, he held on tight and squeezed. It was almost as if he transferred all of his anxiety and worries out of his own hand right into Magnus'. The more he squeezed, the better he felt. 

Magnus was thankful Alec's eyes were closed and didn't get a chance to see all the strange looks they were receiving from the other customers. Personally, he didn't see anything wrong with it. Alec was having a panic attack and he was helping him calm down. What was so odd that people had to stare at them they were doing right now?

He eventually felt Alec's fingers loosen from around his hand and looked up to see Alec breathing more normal. He was still a little shaky but he seemed much more calm than he was before. 

"You okay now?" Magnus asked him, concern in his voice. 

"Yeah. Much better. Magnus' hand okay?" Alec giggled. "Alec didn't hurt you?"

"No, I'm fine. You did what you had to do. I'm very proud of you for not running away from the situation. You handled yourself very well."

Alec looked down at Magnus' hand. Long fingered and smooth, Magnus had lovely hands. He liked holding them very much, though he'd never admit it out loud to anyone. Not even to Magnus himself. "Th-thank you. Alec tried very hard to stay strong. Yes. Very hard."

"Well you did amazing and I'm so proud of you," Magnus beamed and almost raised a hand to cup Alec's face but caught himself. "Let's pay for all of this then head back to the university, okay? We have to get you to piano practice."

Alec nodded but said nothing as he helped Magnus count out the right amount of bills to pay for the groceries. 

"Magnus stay for piano? Watch Alec play?" Alec asked once they were outside. 

"Hmm, I don't know. I'll be seeing you after school when you get home. You can play for me then-"

"Alec play for Magnus now. More convenient. Magnus here now so why not?"

He did have a point. Magnus was already here with him now and headed to a place where there was already a piano, so why not? Made more sense this way. "Sure. Okay. I'll watch you play. But on one condition."

Alec cocked his head. "Condition?"

"You have to play Debussy for me. Any song will do."

"Debussy. Okay. Alec can do that. Play Debussy for Magnus," Alec smiled broadly. "Magnus? Alec has something to say."

"What's that?"

Alec groaned softly. "Th-thank you for helping with anxiety. In store. Magnus' hand felt nice. Calmed Alec down."

Heart thudding in his chest, Magnus nodded. "You're welcome. But it was all you. Really. You did it all yourself. My hand was just....just there, I guess. I didn't do anything."

Alec scrunched his face. "Alec still say thank you anyway. Manners."

Magnus snorted as Alec climbed into the car. "Manners. Of course. I must be forgetting mine at home."

"Where-where did you leave them? Go get them, yeah? Go to Magnus' house and get manners?"

Magnus stuck the key in the ignition and bit his lip to keep from laughing. "You're adorable, Alexander. Simply adorable."

Alec blushed all the way back to the school.


	8. Eight

"The only song I know how to play is Mary Had A Little Lamb. My piano skills don't get any better than that."

Magnus was tinkering with the piano while Clary and Alec were setting up the music room. Apart from the three of them and a few instruments, the room was mostly empty. The after school band students usually took a few instruments from the classroom and played a free concert in the park. Magnus saw them before and thought they were really good. 

"I can play Chopsticks. You're not the only one with insane skills," Clary chimed in. "Check this out."

Magnus laughed as she played Chopsticks with just two fingers. "We should start a band together. Made up of all pianos."

She giggled and shook out her flaming hair. "We'd suck so bad. No one would show up to our shows."

"Alec w-would show up," Alec had raised a hand and nodded. "Yeah. Alec would. Support Clary and Magnus."

Clary grinned and kissed his cheek, making him grimace. "You're too cute, Alec. Seriously. Jace could learn a thing or two from you." She giggled again as Alec made a face. "Well, I think you're in good hands now. Magnus will watch you play. Maybe even give you a lesson?"

"Funny. Very funny. Goodbye, little red," Magnus waved as Clary exited the room. With her now gone, the room seemed even more empty. Alec was seated on the piano chair, earbuds in his ears and humming to an unknown song. Magnus pressed his hands together, unsure whether or not he should speak. "Well then....what song are you listening to?"

Alec couldn't hear anything; all he could hear was the music coming from his phone. Magnus' voice was a muffle beneath all the notes, and there were a lot of notes. He'd chosen a new song to learn today. This one was complex and filled with emotion. It needed his full and undivided attention. 

"Okay then....I'll just be over here. Making no noise and pretending that I don't exist." Magnus smirked at his Harry Potter reference, wishing Alec had heard it but the man was too enveloped in the music to even give Magnus the time of day (not that he needed it). 

A few minutes went by without a peep from either of them. Magnus sat quietly beside the piano while Alec continued to listen to whatever song he was listening to, humming and moving his fingers in the air as if playing the piano. 

"The piano is behind you, bud," Magnus chuckled. Alec ignored him and his joke altogether, earning himself a grunt and more humming. Shrugging, Magnus took out his phone and scrolled through Facebook to pass the time. 

Alec, with all the notes of the song committed to memory, finally turned around to face the piano. The black and white keys stared back up at him, practically screaming at him to start playing a song. So doing exactly that, he placed his hands on the keys, closed his eyes, and began to play.

Magnus almost dropped his phone in surprise when he heard notes being played. Leaning forward in his seat, he marvelled at the way Alec's hands and long, expert fingers flew over the keys wiith such precision and passion. For someone who didn't have much musical talent, he thought Alec was a music God with the piano. 

Alec was in another world. He was so absorbed with the music that he didn't even notice Magnus staring at him with his jaw to the floor. All he could focus on were the notes and the music he could hear crystal clear inside his head. 

When the song ended, the room went dead silent. Alec had relaxed his body and was now rubbing his neck nervously as he tapped his foot on the floor.

"Alec," Magnus whispered. "That was...."

Alec groaned. "Magnus didn't like it? Not good-good enough?" 

Magnus shook his head. "That was incredible. Where did you learn to play like that?"

Alec felt his nerves relax when Magnus complimented him. "Alec t-taught himself. Listened to music. Played song on piano. No notes."

Magnus let out a breathy laugh. "You've got some serious talent, Alec. You could go far in the music industry with talent like this. Have you considered a career in music?"

Alec shook his head in response, staring at the floor. 

"Well, you should. I think you'd do very well." The corners of Alec's mouth twitched as Magnus talked. "Come on. Let's head back to your place and put away the groceries. I completely forgot we went and got them. Hope the eggs didn't go bad."

"Rotten eggs," Alec giggled. "Make stink in Magnus' car, yeah?"

Magnus laughed. "I hope not. That smell takes forever to go away," he rolled his eyes as Alec plugged his nose and gagged. "You got that right. Rotten eggs for days. Now come on. Let's get going. Don't forget your backpack and everything you brought here. Is that all you had was your backpack?"

Alec nodded. "That's-that's all. Just Alec's backpack. Does Magnus have everything?"

"I do. Let's rock and roll-" His phone started to go off in his pocket. He took it out to look at the caller ID. "Oh. Uh....Alec? You wait outside for me in the hall, okay? I have to answer this call. It's important."

Saying nothing, Alec shuffled out into the hall, head down and grumbling to himself. He wasn't exactly pleased with the fact he had to wait out in the hall by himself but Magnus said this call was important. He understood that some calls were important and you had to take them regardless. 

Magnus hit Answer. "Mom. I'm at work right now. Can this wait?"

His mother coughed. "Maggy. I wouldn't call if it wasn't important. You know that."

Magnus sighed through his nose. He absolutely loathed that nickname. "Fine. What is it?"

Another cough. "Mama needs to borrow some money."

"Again? Didn't I give you money last week for your medicine? What's it for this time? Drugs, I suppose. And not your prescribed kind either," Magnus snapped. 

"Baby, it's for the rent. I'm a little behind again. It's not a big deal-"

"It is when it's the fourth time in a row." Magnus rubbed his forehead where a headache was beginning to come on. "Mom, I can't be doing this every month. I have my own rent to pay. I need the money too."

His mom went quiet for a moment. "I know. But I'd do the same for you. You know that."

A laugh clawed its way up Magnus' throat. "A parent shouldn't be asking their child to borrow money, mom. This is the last time I'm doing this. Get your shit together. Goodbye."

He hung up by almost punching the End button. He hated yelling at his mother but since his father died, she hadn't been the same. She got depressed and lost her job, relying on medication and cocaine to relieve the pain-

A loud moan brought Magnus to his senses. It had come from the hallway and was more than likely (he was 110% sure) it was Alec that made that sound. 

Alec was leaned up against the lockers with two students surrounding him, being poked and pushed. He felt very uncomfortable and his nerves were in overdrive. His skin felt as if ants were crawling all over him. The more he tried to get away the more these people picked on him. 

"Hey Alec. Heard you got yourself a boyfriend," one of the men snickered. 

"Does he spoon feed you and change your diaper?" The other one snorted, fist bumping his buddy. 

Alec moaned, a reaction he didn't exactly intend to make but it seemed to do the trick. Magnus stormed out of the music room looking like he was ready for war. 

"Hey! Let him alone!" He shouted, shoving back one of the students with his hands. He stood in front of Alec; a protective stance Alec was all too familiar with. Izzy and Jace used to do the same thing back in grade school. 

"Dude, why would you even go out with this retard? He's a five year old trapped in an adult body," the taller of the two students said. 

"Funny. I could say the same to you. Picking on someone with a developmental brain disorder just to make yourself look cool when it just makes you look really fucking stupid." Magnus shoved them away again. "Alec doesn't like being touched. He hates yelling and I'm almost positive he hates bullying more than those two things combined. Now fuck off before I report you to the Board of Education."

The two male students glanced at each other before turning their heel and quickly making their way down the hall to the exit. Alec breathed heavily and finally dropped his backpack, which he'd been clenching in his arms so tightly that the buckle was dug in deep into his chest, leaving behind an ache. 

"Alec. Are you okay?" Magnus took Alec's hand and squeezed it once the hazel eyed man began to strenuously scratch his arms and neck. "Alec. Look at me please."

Alec shuddered but did as he was told. Magnus had a look of concern on his face; his mouth was creased around the edges as he frowned. 

"Did they hurt you?" Magnus asked. 

Alec shook his head. He was itchy. He needed to scratch but Magnus had a firm grip on his hands. He remembered how calm he became after his anxiety attack at the grocery store and felt the itch slowly go away. "They-they pushed and poked Alec. Here."

Magnus frowned as Alec pointed to all the places he was poked. "But are you okay? They didn't hurt you or anything."

"N-no. Alec's nerves gone, Magnus-" A low whine escaped Alec's throat. "Help Alec calm down, yeah? Magnus? Calm Alec down?"

Magnus nodded, still holding Alec's hands between his own. Alec was shaking so much that his body made Magnus' body tremble through their hands. "Okay. I got you. You're okay now. They're not going to bother you again. I'll make sure of that." 

He rubbed Alec's back all the way out to the car and even sat in silence together for a few minutes. Alec had opened up his chocolate bar he bought at the store and was munching on it, smacking his lips occasionally to let Magnus know it was delicious. 

"I shouldn't have made you wait in the hall," Magnus finally said. 

Alec shrugged. "Not Magnus-not Magnus' fault. Alec just not brave. No. Not brave enough."

"It is my fault. I let you out of my sight when it's my job to keep an eye on you and look what happened. I'm so fucking dumb."

Alec flinched as Magnus slapped the steering wheel with a hand. "Magnus owes the swear jar seventy five cents."

Magnus looked at him, stunned, but begin to chuckle as Alec wiped his mouth off with his sleeve. "I do, don't I? I didn't mean to swear. I was just so mad at them for bullying you like that..."

Alec quietly burped. "Alec is okay. Not brave but okay. Magnus help Alec calm down, yeah? All calm now," Alec pointed to himself then to the empty bar wrapper. "Chocolate good. Fresh."

"I'm glad you enjoyed it. You didn't offer me any," Magnus grinned as Alec blushed. "Aw. You're blushing. How come?"

Alec giggled softly. "Alec forgot. Chocolate bar so delicious. Ate it all," he giggled again and rubbed his ear. "Magnus? Alec a grown man. Don't need to be watched like a child. Alec can take care of himself, okay?"

Genuinely surprised by this statement, Magnus nodded in agreement. "I believe you. All things considered, you did really well today. I thought you were very brave and I'm very proud of you."

Alec hummed in content. He loved hearing Magnus say he was proud of him. It felt better than what the sound of windchimes did when he heard them. "Magnus did well too. Strong. Like the Hulk."

"Did you name me after a big green angry giant?" He smirked as Alec sucked on the collar of his shirt to hide a smile. "All right. I'll take that as a compliment. But you're okay though, right?"

Alec nodded. "Just tired. Long day for Alec."

Magnus cocked his head and clicked his tongue. "You're not wrong. It did feel like a long day. How about when we get home we'll put away the groceries and then you can lie down for a nap?"

As if on cue, Alec yawned. "Okay. Nap sound good."

Doing just that, they both unpacked and put away the groceries (the cupboards looked much more appeasing now, after Alec organized it by food group). Once finished, Alec collapsed onto the couch while Magnus sat down in the recliner by the window. 

"Ma-Magnus? The bullies..." Alec rubbed his hands and squinted, trying to word his sentence properly. "The bullies said Magnus was Alec's boyfriend."

"Oh?" Magnus sat up in his chair, feeling his heart beat faster. "How does that make you feel?"

Alec shrugged. "Alec liked holding Magnus' hand today." He held up two fingers. "Twice."

"That was nice. But that was just to calm you down."

Alec nodded. "Yeah. Felt nice. Magnus has nice hands. Strong and smooth."

Resting his chin in his hand, Magnus leaned forward and smiled. "Alexander. Are you flirting with me?"

Alec looked up at the ceiling and giggled. "Maaaaaybe. Is okay, yeah? Alec flirt with Magnus?"

Magnus was more than okay with it. He was currently on cloud 9 and had no intentions of coming down from this high any time soon. "Absolutely-" He chuckled as Alec clapped his hands and tried to wink, but ended up blinking with both eyes. "We'll work on the whole winking thing. You'll be a pro in no time."

"A pro," Alec repeated halfway though a yawn. "Magnus? Alec nap now. Shhh."

"Oh. My bad. Sweet dreams, bud."

When Alec dozed off, Magnus reached for the blanket on the back of the recliner and opened it up, spreading it over Alec's sleeping form. He bit his lip when Alec snored loudly. The hazel eyed angel looked so much younger when he was asleep. It tore at Magnus' heart how innocent and pure Alec was. 

A crunch of paper caught his attention as he took a step into the kitchen to turn on the light. Bending down, he picked up a crumpled piece of paper that was stuck under his foot. It was probably something belonging to Alec for school. He decided to open it up just to make sure. 

It was a drawing of him; beautifully detailed and so realistic that it looked like it was about to jump off the page. He had both arms crossed over his chest with a devious smirk on his face. Even his necklaces were detailed. As were his clothes. 

"Alec," he breathed. He glanced over at where Alec lay still on the couch and sighed heavily. "It's beautiful. Thank you."

He knew that Alec didn't hear him but it still made him feel better muttering the words out loud. Maybe when Alec was awake, he'll say thank you. But then the drawing was crumpled up and near the trash bin. There must've been a reason for that. 

Thinking nothing more of it, he shoved the drawing in his pocket and sat back in the recliner. Alec was snoring peacefully on the couch beside him, mumbling in his sleep. 

"Magnus...." Magnus perked up at the mention of his name. "Magnus Alec's boyfriend....don't touch Alec....no...."

Magnus sighed heavily and continued to watch Alec sleep. Alec was only dreaming and talking in his sleep.

Nothing more.


	9. Nine

"Cat. Please. I'm doing this for Alec. You know how much this would mean to him."

It was 7 am and Magnus had woken up early to go to the animal shelter to pick up a special surprise for Alec. It was Saturday, which meant that he'd eventually be bringing Alec here at some point today but he thought he could surprise Alec with a little something to make up for the crap he went through yesterday. 

"I don't usually do this but seeing how it's Alec....I'll make an exception," Cat held open the door for Magnus to come inside. "You're lucky. The vet came in yesterday and gave Xavier his shots. He's pretty much ready to be picked up and brought home."

"Excellent," Magnus smiled. "Alec's going to love this. He had a pretty rough go of it yesterday. Xavier will lift his spirits."

"I believe that," Cat grinned. "Stay there. I'll bring him out."

Magnus took a seat in the waiting room. He could just see the look on Alec's face when he catches sight of the Rottweiler. All Magnus wanted to see was that dimpled smile and the light blaze from Alec's bright, intelligent eyes. Nothing made him more happy than when Alec smiled. 

A loud bark brought him back to his senses. Xavier was suddenly on top of him, covering him in wet doggy kisses. "Hey big guy! You're free! How does it feel?"

"I'm sure he's all for it. Been a while since he stuck his head out a car window and enjoyed a different view." Catarina handed Magnus a leash and a squeaky toy. "The toy is his. Alec bought it a few weeks ago. They're pretty much inseparable. Xavier and the toy, I mean."

Magnus chuckled as Xavier leaned down doggy style and wiggled his butt excitedly. "You think he knows where he's going?"

"I'm almost certain he does. Watch this. Xavier? Go to Alec's house?"

Xavier perked up at Alec's name and cocked his head, whining. 

"See? He knows. Just one thing before you go. Make sure Alec has the right kind of collar. Certain materials makes him itchy. We learned that the hard way," Cat rubbed Xavier's ears. "I'm gonna miss you, brute. You're mean looking but you're actually a softie."

Xavier wagged his stump tail happily. 

"Thanks, Cat. You've made Alec very happy," Magnus said. "I owe you one."

Cat snorted. "You owe me nothing. This is my job. Making sure both humans and animals are happy. Alec and Xavier are kindred spirits. I couldn't separate them even if I tried. They'll always find a way back to each other."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. Catarina was looking at him rather odd.... "Is there something wrong?"

She shook her head. "Oh no. Nothing at all. Now go. Be free. Make that tall ray of sunshine on legs happy."

Magnus said nothing else as he made his way to his car with Xavier. The dog was only too happy to climb into the passenger seat and pant in excitement. Once Magnus was inside, he started the car and rolled down the window enough for Xavier's head to stick out. The Rottweiler moved so that his head was hanging out, sniffing the air and smiling broadly. 

"Don't get too comfortable. It's a short ride. Plus this is the last time you're getting in the front. I can see how much you shed already," Magnus grumbled. Xavier paid no attention. He was too focused on the cars passing by and panting happily. 

It was going to be a good day. Magnus could feel it. The sun was shining. The birds were chirping. There was a ruckus coming from inside Alec's loft-

He didn't even get a chance to knock on the door when it opened. Isabelle stood with her hair in a messy bun while wearing a baggy sweatshirt and pajama pants, looking frustrated. 

"Thank god you're here. Alec's in one of his moods today. He's been acting funny all morning," she sipped her coffee and rolled her eyes. 

"All morning? How long have you been here?" Magnus ushered Xavier inside. He could see that Isabelle was about squeal and coo so he put a finger to his lips. "Shh. It's a surprise for Alec."

Isabelle nodded, saying nothing. "Since 2 this morning. He called me and said he had a nightmare so of course, I rushed right over. He was pacing the floor and poking himself all over. Said something about they kept touching him without consent. Whatever that means."

Magnus swallowed. He knew what it meant. The whole situation at the university yesterday must've bothered him more than he was letting on. "Right. How is he now?"

"Right now? This is his third time brushing his teeth since 6 o'clock. He rearranged his bedroom twice. Plus he won't stop moaning and scratching his arms." She leaned forward in her chair, voice dropping to a whisper. "I haven't seen him like this since we were younger. He used to have bad nightmares when he was a kid. Barely slept at all. Took a while before his medication kicked in and started to work. Did my mom tell you that he used to bite himself?"

Magnus nodded. "She did. Said it scared you and Jace."

Isabelle scoffed. "Scared us? It scared the shit out of us. We think he used to bite himself in his sleep to keep from screaming. Or sometimes if he got overwhelmed he'd just bite his hand-and I mean hard. He drew blood at one point. There's even a scar on his left hand to prove it. He was bad, Magnus. He's so much better now than he was when we were kids. He's improved so much."

Magnus tried to imagine a 7 year old Alec biting himself to keep from screaming, but quickly shook his head to get rid of that image. "Can I see him? Let him know I'm here?"

Isabelle waved a hand. "Go right ahead. I'll be here giving some kisses to the puppy. Who's a good boy? Who's a good handsome boy?"

Xavier charged over and jumped on top of her, tail wagging rapidly, only too happy to make a new friend.

Outside the bathroom door, Magnus raised a hand and knocked on the worn out wood. "Alec? It's Magnus. Can I come in?" No response. Panic rose in Magnus' throat. "Alec, I'm coming in. I hope you're decent...." Slowly opening the door, Magnus stuck his head inside, fearing the absolute worst. 

Alec was sitting on the edge of the bathtub, elbows resting on his knees and head down. He wore a pair of plaid pajama pants with a white t-shirt and socks. He didn't look up right away when Magnus opened the door, but eventually lift his gaze when the door closed and Magnus sat on the floor in front of him. 

Magnus took note of how exhausted Alec looked. Hair ruffled more than usual, tired expression, eyes that were usually so full of life now dimmed. "Hey. How are you doing today?"

Alec sighed. "N-not good. Tired. Didn't sleep."

"I heard. Your sister was telling me that you had a nightmare. Want to talk about it?" 

Alec shook his head and rubbed his hands. "No. Not now. Later. Magnus understand, yeah?"

"I do," Magnus nodded. "Hey. If it makes you feel any better, I have a surprise in the living room for you. Want to see it?"

At the word "surprise" Alec perked up. "Surprise? For Alec?"

"Yeah. Picked it up this morning for you."

Alec got to his feet with the grace of a cat. "What is it?"

Magnus put a hand on the doorknob. "Guess you'll just have to find out."

They both made their way to the living where Isabelle sat on the floor with a playful Xavier. The dog now had a bow wrapped around his neck and was chewing on his squeaky toy. When Alec stepped into the room, he sat up so fast that one of his paws slipped on the wood floor. 

Alec's eyes could've lit up the room when he saw Xavier. "Xav-Xavier! Hiiiii," he laughed as the big dog bounded over and got ambushed by wet doggy kisses. "What is Xavier doing here?"

"He's all yours, Alec. I picked him up from the shelter earlier this morning. Catarina said he got his shots and was good to go, so I brought him home for you," Magnus smiled down at Alec, who was still getting attacked with kisses. 

Alec stood up at his full height; Magnus was surprised to see tears in his eyes. "Thanks, Magnus. Alec was having rough night. This is nice surprise. Makes Alec happy in here."

He pointed to his heart before awkwardly leaning in and hugging Magnus. From across the room, Isabelle raised an eyebrow but smiled at the scene before her; an awkward Magnus trying to decide where to place his hands and an even more awkward Alec hugging him, who never gave anyone hugs. 

"This is cute," she said. "I should take a photo of this and send it to the family. They'll never believe this."

Magnus and Alec pulled away from their awkward embrace. "Believe what?" Magnus asked. 

"Alec never hugs anyone. Not even his own family. It's like committing the ultimate sin," she responded. "You're the first person he's ever hugged."

Magnus felt his jaw hit the floor. "Am I? Seriously?" He looked to Alec for the truth, who nodded while looking at the floor. "Wow. Okay. That's....nice. I like that. I'm glad I can be your first hug, Alexander."

Alec nodded. "F-first of many things, yeah? Many things, Magnus?"

There was so much sincerity in Alec's voice. Magnus wanted nothing more to be Alec's first of everything, but the idea went against his terms of agreement when he always started a new position, rules he set for himself so he didn't get mixed up in a confusing and possibly life threatening situation. 

And one of his rules was don't fall in love with the client. 

"Hopefully," he forced a smile, which seemed to please Alec. He didn't know that the smile was forced, but Isabelle did. From where she sat on the living room floor, she glared at him with dagger-like eyes. Magnus could feel them piercing him. 

"Izzy can go now. Magnus is here with Xavier. Play with Xavier all day!" Alec clapped his hands and Xavier barked at the sound of his name being said. 

"I guess I'm dismissed," Isabelle said. "Are you feeling okay now, Alec?" He didn't answer, rubbing Xavier's belly and giggling when the dog pawed his face. "I'm going to assume that's an enthusiastic 'hell yeah Isabelle! I feel great!' so I'm just gonna go. You guys are okay here for the day?"

"Absolutely. I'll take them to the park later on when it warms up a little bit. They seem to be pretty occupied right now," Magnus smiled as he looked over his shoulder. Alec was seated on the floor, arms wrapped around Xavier's thick neck in a hug, eyes closed and humming in content. Xavier had his eyes closed too, looking completely at peace. 

Isabelle covered her mouth with a hand. "I'm gonna go before I start crying. This is too much cuteness for me. I'll call in later to see if the cuteness died down much. Bye guys!"

Alec waved his signature wave (fingers flapping) before burying his face in his dog's fur again. "Alec love Xavier. S-such a good dog."

Magnus took a seat on the couch and tossed the squeaky toy to Xavier. It was covered with slobber. "I'm glad you like your surprise. Were you expecting this at all?"

Alec shook his head. "No. Alec thought Magnus had cake. Or Kinder Surprise. Not Xavier."

Magnus smirked. "I tricked you. I'm a master of tricks and a giver of treats. That's the best Halloween treat you'll ever get."

Alec's eyes widened and he tapped his forehead. "That reminds Alec! Must decorate loft. But not too spooky. No. Just a little. Magnus help?"

Xavier dropped the slobbery toy onto Magnus lap and groaned. "I'd love to help. Let's get this party started."

"Party? Alec didn't know there was a party," Alec wiggled his fingers before rubbing them. "Didn't prepare any-anything....just got juice packs."

The urge to smooch this man on the face was strong but Magnus fought against it with every fibre of his body. "It's an expression. Means let's get started."

"Ah," Alec shook his head and giggled. "Silly. No party. Just Magnus being silly."

An hour passed and the loft was filled with the colors of Halloween; greens and oranges and blacks and purples, all shaped as different things. Alec even had a special windchime just for this occasion: a Halloween chime with witches dangling from strings. His eyes were as wide as saucers when he hung it in the living room. 

Magnus touched it with a finger. The witches made a tinkling sound as they moved. "Wow. That's a beautiful windchime. Where did you get it?"

"eBay," Alec watched it move with wide eyes. "Izzy found it. Alec bought it with credit card."

"You own a credit card?"

Alec looked offended by this. "Yes. Why does that surprise Magnus? Alec not stupid. Responsible," he said, tapping his chest. "Always pay bills on time. Never late."

"Never said you were stupid. But that's good advice. I'll take that advice as soon as I get home. I have bills to pay too...." Magnus sighed at the thought of having to go back to his second job Monday morning. He hated it there. It was torture having to go to the same office everyday and do the same work everyday. It just about pained him. 

"Magnus? Alec have surprise too. Come see," Alec took Magnus by the hand and pulled him along into the kitchen. "Sit down."

Magnus did as he was told. "Okay. What's the surprise?"

Alec giggled and put a finger to his lips. "Guess you'll just have to find out."

Magnus smirked. He liked this version of Alec; playful and teasing, using what he heard earlier and using it against Magnus. Clever, beautiful young man.

Alec placed something large and round on the table. It was covered with a white cloth so Magnus couldn't see what was underneath. "Magnus ready to be surprised?"

Magnus clapped his hands together. "Surprise me. I'm ready."

Alec smiled broadly and removed the cloth with one quick movement. 

Like the cloth, Magnus' jaw fell to the floor (again). It was a pumpkin, but it had a carving on it. It was of Magnus kissing Alec's hand. The details were extraordinary; the light inside the candle illuminated where Magnus' lips touched Alec's hand and made the details stand out even more. 

"Alec.....holy crap," Magnus whispered. "Is this the pumpkin you wouldn't let me see the other day?"

"Yes," Alec nodded. "Magnus like it? Alec work very hard on it. Yes. Very, very hard." He looked down at his injured hand. "Hand didn't hurt after Magnus kissed it. Not anymore."

"I'm glad. But to be honest, my kiss probably didn't do anything-"

"It did," Alec whispered. He pulled out a chair and sat next to Magnus, the glow coming from the pumpkin outlining the features of his face. Cheekbones of a Greek statue. Sculpted jawline. Eyebrows that most people would kill for. Hazel eyes that were once so dull this morning now filled with life. "Alec felt something, Magnus. A tingle. In hand. It went up Alec's arm and stayed in his heart. Still there. Feel."

"Alec I don't think-" Magnus suddenly found his hand being grabbed by Alec. Now pressed against Alec's chest, Magnus felt the steady and strong beat of Alec's heart just under the palm of his hand. When he looked up into Alec's eyes, the beat suddenly quickened. Alec was looking right back at him, eyes moving down to Magnus' lips before moving back up again. 

"Magnus feel it?" Alec whispered. 

Magnus swallowed. "Yeah. I do. Your heart's beating so fast. Are you okay?"

Alec smiled softly. "Alec is always okay when with Magnus."

Magnus surpassed cloud 9. Right now, he was on cloud 99. Hearing this come from Alec made his heart beat even faster than the heart that was currently beating under his hand and he was almost certain that Alec could hear it, if not feel it through the palm of his hand. 

"Magnus okay?" Alec asked, breaking the other man out of his daydream. 

"Magnus is fine-I mean. I'm fine. I'm good," Magnus cleared his throat. "How about we go to the park with our new friend here? I bet he'd like that."

Alec frowned but nodded. "Okay. Alec get leash for Xavier and everything. Izzy b-bought it all."

Magnus felt a breath of relief go through him as Alec dropped his hand from his chest. Even without touching him, Magnus could still feel Alec's heartbeat on the palm of his hand. "That's cool. You're all prepared then. I picked him up at a good time."

Alec nodded and mumbled something under his breath, wiggling his fingers by his sides as he disappeared into the hallway, Xavier following close behind. Magnus could hear a closet door open and the jingle of a leash. 

This gave Magnus a chance to catch his breath and run a hand over his face. Remembering his rules, he shook any thoughts he was having out of his head before Alec could see the tears that were welling up in his eyes. He heard Alec coming out of the hall, now completely dressed, and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "You all set, bud?"

Alec nodded. "Look. Xavier got chain collar. Nice, yeah?"

Xavier wagged his tail as Magnus leaned down to look at his new bling. 

"He looks very handsome. Now let's go. Maybe if we're lucky, the burrito truck will be there today."

Alec hummed. "Burritos. Alec like burritos," he slipped on his coat and clipped Xavier onto his leash. "Let's get-get this party started."


	10. Ten

"Branwell's Burritos: Made Fresh Everyday. That's false advertising. I once had a burrito that tasted a week old and smelled like gym shoes. Don't ever trust catchphrases."

Finally at the park, both men sat down at a picnic table with their burritos and unwrapped them. Xavier sat between them, licking his lips and whining. 

"No, Xavier. Not for you. Lie-lie down," Alec grumbled as the Rottweiler did as he was told. "Why did burrito taste bad? Bad ingredients?"

"Well, they can't all be delicious. Every now and then you'll get one that tastes like-pardon my language-shit. Yes, I owe the swear jar a lot of money. I know."

Alec giggled, biting into his burrito. "Alec's tastes good. How is Magnus' burrito?"

Magnus took a bite. Surprisingly, it tasted delicious. "Huh. Tastes really good today. Lots of flavor. Absolutely delicious," he said in Gordon Ramsey's voice. 

Alec's eyes grew wide. "How did-how did Magnus do that? That was Gordon Ramsey!"

"When you were napping yesterday I watched tv and saw that you binged watched Hell's Kitchen. Figured you liked Ramsey."

Alec nodded. "Ramsey can be a...." He lowered his voice to a whisper. "A dick sometimes."

Magnus nearly choked on his wrap. "Alec! You cursed! You owe the swear jar."

"Nooooo," Alec moaned pitifully. "Izzy said it. Not Alec."

"Izzy's not here."

"Not-not now. Before. Izzy said it before. Alec r-repeating it. That's all." He looked frustrated with himself as he spoke. "Does Alec still owe the swear jar?"

A bird chirped overhead. Magnus saw Alec's gaze flicker upwards but managed to keep his concentration on the conversation. "No. You're fine. We'll blame Izzy for that one."

Alec giggled again at the thought of blaming something on Izzy. As the birds chirped again, he craned his neck up towards the sky and marvelled at a flock of birds flying in a V formation. He pointed at them. "Look! Fl-flying south, yeah Magnus? Birds flying south for the winter?"

Magnus looked up too. "I think they are. It's getting cold out now so they're flying somewhere warm for the winter." He reached for his burrito without looking down, but his hand couldn't find it anywhere on the table. "Hey. Where's my burrito?" 

Alec looked down at Xavier. "Xavier! Bad boy! Ate-ate Magnus' burrito!"

Magnus could see that Alec was trying so hard not to laugh at the Rottweiler lying on the ground with sauce on his nose. Xavier groaned, licking his snout to get rid of the sauce. "Wow. Thanks, Xavier. I only had one bite gone out of it too."

Alec felt bad for Magnus. He looked down at his own before outstretching his hand holding the wrap. "Magnus have Alec's instead. No germs. Alec not sick."

Touched by the gesture, Magnus shook his head. "You eat it. I'll grab something later if I get hungry. Was my burrito good, Xavier? I wouldn't really know. I only had one bite out of it."

Xavier burped and lid down on the grass, sighing in content. 

Alec laughed. "Guess-guess that's a yes. Alec's burrito good. Yes. Very good."

Magnus smiled. While Alec ate away at his breakfast wrap, he took a look around the park. There was a nice turnout for so early in the morning. Some people were jogging. Others were feeding the ducks in the pond. A couple were seated inside the gazebo. It was a beautiful day to be out and about. 

"Magnus?" Alec asked. He wiped his mouth off with his napkin and crumpled it with a hand. "Alec doesn't want to go to the shelter today."

Magnus took Alec's garbage and threw it into the bin next to them. "How come?"

Alec shrugged. "Work on goals today instead. Like learn to swim."

Magnus chuckled. "I'd love to take you swimming. But you have to realize that you won't learn how to swim just by having one lesson..."

"Alec knows. But swimming is essen....essential? Right word?" He sighed when Magnus nodded. "Yes. Swimming be good for Alec. Won't drown."

Magnus pat Xavier on the head. "That's good thinking. I wouldn't want to drown because I didn't know how to swim."

Alec beamed. "So Magnus take Alec to the pool? L-learn to swim?"

His watch read 9:15 when Magnus checked it. The pool wouldn't be open until another hour or so. "Text Catarina first and let her know that you won't be coming in today. Then we'll head back to your place and pack a bag for the indoor pool."

Alec tapped the picnic table with an impatient finger. "Goggles and trunks. Alec needs goggles. To protect eyes from chlo-chlorine."

"And don't forget a towel and body wash. Shampoo too. You have to wash off the chlorine once you're out of the pool." Magnus made a reminder on phone of the list of items they needed. "There. I made a list for you so we don't forget anything. Ready to rumble?"

Alec made a car engine noise. 

"Not that kind of rumble. Means are you ready to go?" 

"Ready," Alec collected Xavier's leash in his hand. "Xavier come too, yeah? To the pool?"

"I don't think so, bud. He's not an official service dog. He'll have to to stay home while we're out. Sorry," Magnus said as he pat Xavier on the back. The dog whined, clearly upset that he wasn't going on this new adventure with them. "Put the blanket down on the seat for Xavier to sit on. I don't want him shedding or tearing up the seat."

Magnus swore he heard Alec grumble something with the word "picky" in it but said nothing as he watched to make sure that the blanket was set properly and the dog was seated on top of it. 

"There. Xavier on top of blanket. Won't tear seat now," Alec pointed out. As he climbed into the passenger seat, he groaned and shook his head. "Magnus? Alec nervous to swim."

"How come? I think you'll be fine. It's just your excitement kicking in, that's all. You'll be swimming with lots of other people-"

He immediately regret saying that. Alec's eyes widened in fear and began to shake his head and rock back and forth. 

"Nonono Alec can't g-go with big crowds. No, Magnus. Doesn't he-help with Alec's anxiety. No. Magnus, no."

"Hey, it's okay. I'll be right there with you." He paused to let Alec moan and grumble. "How about I swim with you? I can teach you myself."

Alec stopped rocking back and forth. "Magnus teach Alec to swim?"

"Sure. I used to be on the swim team back in college. Best in the state. Fastest swimmer you'll ever see."

Alec softly smiled. "F-faster than Aquaman?"

Magnus laughed. "Not that fast, but pretty fast. You'll be a pro in no time. A regular Michael Phelps."

Alec blinked, having no clue who that was but went along with it anyway. "Okay. Okay. Alec can do this. Practice hard. Practice makes p-perfect."

"That's the spirit. Keep giving yourself a pep talk. You'll boost your confidence if you do."

They drove back to Alec's place, unlocking the door and piling inside to get out of the rain. Xavier shook his wet fur and tracked in mud, which Magnus had to clean up with the Swiffer Jet. Then he dried the dog off with a towel from the closet in the hall.

Alec shuffled out of his room with a duffel bag over his shoulder. He huffed before setting the bag down on the kitchen table. "Alec packed everything. All set."

Xavier escaped from Magnus' grip and raced down the hallway into one of the rooms. "I'll double check using my handy dandy list."

"Handy dandy," Alec giggled. "Magnus so silly. Rhyming."

Sure enough, Alec had everything he needed all nearly packed in the bag. He even had a toothbrush and some toothpaste in there. "Why did you pack your toothbrush?"

Alec looked at Magnus like he was crazy. "So Alec can brush his teeth."

Magnus shrugged. "Alrighty. I won't judge. You seemed to have packed everything. You ready?"

"Yes. Very ready. N-nervous but ready. Magnus?"

"Yeah?"

"Ready?"

Magnus smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be-wait. Quick question: why do you have two pairs of swimming trunks in there?"

The answer was obvious to Alec, so he explained it to the clueless Magnus. "Magnus doesn't have trunks. Second pair for him to wear."

Oh. That made sense. "Won't they be a bit big on me?"

Alec squared Magnus up. Magnus felt a shiver go down his spine as Alec's eyes roamed over him before looking down at the floor again. "No. Magnus is about same size as Alec. They'll fit."

He slipped past Magnus and headed towards the car, bag in hand. He seemed eager to get to the pool, which he was. In his mind, Alec was saying a mantra to help with his anxiety: Just keep swimming. Repeating this in his head keep him calm. It also reminded him of how much he loved Finding Nemo. He even had a stuffed Dory on his bed but Magnus didn't know that. Magnus hasn't been in his bedroom yet. 

Magnus locked the door behind him. "Alrighty then. You ready for your first swimming lesson?" 

Alec sighed. "Think so. Magnus? Alec scared."

"Pfft. Don't be scared. I'll be beside you the whole time. Nothing will happen to you while I'm there."

Reassured, Alec nodded, clenching and unclenching his hands on his lap. "Mmhm. Okay. Alec be brave for Magnus. Swim like Aquaman."

Magnus smiled broadly. "That's my man."

\----------

Turns out, the swimming trunks did indeed fit him, as Alec said they would. They were a little bit long on him (even though their height difference wasn't all that noticeable) but they were comfortable enough for him to be walking around in. 

"Alec! You ready, big guy?" Magnus knocked on the locked stall. 

A little whimper came from the stall. "Uh....Alec not here. Leave message after beep. Beep."

Magnus snorted. "Come on, Lightwood. I'll be out in the pool area waiting for you. Take your time. No rush, remember?"

Alec could hear footsteps moving away from the stall he was hiding in. The door to the pool area opened and then closed. He was now alone. 

Unlocking the stall, he poked his head out and looked both ways. Magnus was nowhere to be seen. He must've went out to the pool area. Alec wanted to follow behind so bad but his nerves were still a little shaky. Swallowing his nervousness, he took a deep breath and opened the door to the pool. 

It was crowded. Oh, was it ever crowded. As soon as Alec took one glimpse of the crowd in both the water and the sidelines, he wanted to make a beeline back into the change room. 

"Hey. You finally found your courage, huh?"

Alec turned and saw Magnus standing next to him, hands on his hips. His rather very distracting hips, that is. 

Magnus was very attractive. Alec had no idea how attraction was supposed to work but he couldn't help but let his eyes roam over Magnus' body when he wasn't looking. He had broad shoulders and biceps, which flexed whenever he moved his arms. His chest was muscular, his stomach was beautifully flat and muscled and his hips narrowed into the green pair of trunks that Alec loaned to him. 

"Ready to swim? I asked the lifeguard to clear an area just for us so you wouldn't feel as overwhelmed," Magnus smiled at him. "Come on. Our lesson begins right now."

Alec shuffled along behind him, keeping a close eye on Magnus' feet. He didn't dare look up at the crowd around him. He focused solely on Magnus and Magnus alone. 

"First step to learning how to swim is to get in the water." Magnus jumped into the pool. The water only came up to below his waist. They were the area considered to be part of the kiddie pool, which was the perfect place to start off in. "Come on in. The water is nice."

Alec dipped a tie in the water. "What if Alec drowns?"

"I'm not going to let that happen. Do you trust me?"

Looking at Alec on the side of the pool, Magnus realized how beautiful Alec really was. Tall and handsome with raven black hair and gorgeous hazel eyes. But that was only the beginning of his beauty. He knew there was much more to Alec than just looks, but damn his looks were something else. This was the first time Magnus ever saw him shirtless, which nearly took his breath away. Alec had broad shoulders and large biceps, along with strong forearms that were currently crossed over his broad chest in anxiousness. His chest had hair on it, as did beneath his navel that led down into his trunks (Magnus tried very hard not to think about that). His abdomen wasn't overly buff but Magnus could see a six pack when Alec breathed in deeply. His hips were jutted out forward a bit, which Magnus made a mental note of (unusual gait) and had deep indentations above his hipbones. 

He truly was a beautiful young man to behold. 

"Do you trust me?" repeated Magnus.

Alec nodded. "Yes. A lot."

"Good. Then get your butt in this water. I'll make a merman out of you yet," Magnus playfully splashed Alec. 

Alec flinched away from the water. "M-Magnus! Not-no. Don't. Alec take time. No rush, remember?"

Magnus raised his hands in surrender. "Right. Sorry. Take your time."

Alec slowly inched toward the edge of the pool, looking out and over. "No sharks though, Magnus? No sharks?"

Magnus looked around the water. "Hold on. Let me check."

Alec gasped when he went underwater, holding his breath until Magnus came back up for air. "Mag-Magnus! Don't do that!"

"Don't do what? I was checking for sharks. And there's none here. You're good to go."

Alec dipped his toe in again before moving his entire foot in. Taking a deep breath, he knelt down and sat in the edge of the water before getting in, wincing at how cold the water felt against his skin. 

"There you go. You did it! You're in the water!" Magnus beamed. "Good job, buddy. How do you feel?"

Alec was shivering and holding his arms over his chest. "Is Alec swimming?"

Magnus laughed. "Not yet. Next we're slowly going to sink lower and lower into the water until we're under it completely. Sound good?"

Alec swallowed. "Alec won't drown though. Magnus stop Alec from drowning, yeah?"

"Absolutely. Ready for phase two?"

"Phase two. Ready. Ready....." Alec mumbled. He squeezed his hands before placing his goggles over his eyes and sunk lower into the water. 

"That's it...nice and easy," Magnus said in an encouraging voice. 

Alec went even lower again and again until he just went completely under. He was surprised to realize that there was hardly any sound underwater. Everything was muffled; a whole new world that Alec found himself enjoying much more than he expected. It was quieter. Much quieter than the loud and noisy world above water. He wished he could stay here forever....

He was suddenly hauled back up to the surface by a strong hand. He coughed and sputtered, pushing his hair back off his forehead. "Magnus. What-" he coughed again. "What happened?"

"What happened? I said I'd make sure you wouldn't drown. That's what happened. You weren't coming back up for air so I had to grab you and bring you back to the world of oxygen," Magnus fixed a stray strand of hair off Alec's forehead. "You did amazing for your first day. Better than I did."

"How did y-you do? On first day?" Alec asked. 

Magnus chuckled. "I cried like a baby. I hated the water so much. Begged my mom to never take me to another lesson ever again. But you know what she said? She said 'Maggy. Stop crying. There's no room in the pool for tears.'"

Alec squinted. "Alec doesn't understand."

"I didn't either. I still don't. But my mom was never one to give me encouraging words," Magnus nodded his head towards the change rooms. "Come on. Let's get changed and head to my place. I want to show you my collection of vinyls."

Alec's eyes widened. "Magnus have vinyls? How-how many?"

"Oh gosh. Lots. You'll love them. I have all kinds of old albums. You like vinyls?"

"Yes. D-dad has lots. Collects them too."

By "dad" Magnus assumed Alec was talking about his father. "Your dad sounds like a cool guy. Maybe I can meet him one day."

Alec perked up, splashing Magnus by accident. "Magnus come to Halloween party, yeah? Light-Lightwood Halloween party?"

Magnus heard of the famous Lightwood parties. They were known for inviting close friends if the family or well known names in the higher society. "I don't know. I wasn't invited....."

Alec giggled. "Alec invite Magnus. See? Invited now."

Magnus laughed as Alec splashed around in the water. "Okay. Fine. But I don't have a costume."

"Alec be a banana," Alec gurgled into the water. 

"Interesting. Maybe we should split the costume and go as a banana split," Magnus snorted but stopped when Alec gazed at him confusingly. "Sorry. I thought that was pretty funny."

"Don't apologize. Alec just slow at jokes sometimes. Magnus is-is funny, though-"

The lifeguard blew into her whistle to signal the end of the swim, the loud shrill causing Alec to scream and cover his ears. 

"Alec! It's okay. You're okay. I got you...." Magnus rubbed Alec's soaking wet back in small soothing circles. "I forgot they blow the whistle at the end of the swim. I'm so sorry, buddy...."

Alec whined. "Go now Magnus? Go home now, yeah? Alec's ears h-hurt."

Magnus nodded. "Sure thing. You did great today. Until next time?"

Alec nodded, ears still covered as he hummed to calm his nerves. "Until n-next time."


	11. Eleven

Vinyls were a large part of Alec's life. Ever since he could remember, before Isabelle and Max were born, his father used to sit him down on his lap and put on one of his old records and they'd listen to it together. The music would soothe Alec, as would the tapping of his father's foot to the beat of the music. 

"Oh that's a classic. Got that one at a yard sale. Can you believe it? The Silent Brother's greatest hits." Magnus picked up the album to show it to Alec. "My dad used to play this one over and over. I can't believe it still works."

Alec watched as Magnus opened his record player and placed the record inside with gentle hands. When the needle touched the record, a smooth jazz started to play. "Oh. That-that sounds nice. Jazz?"

"You bet. Cornelius "Neil" Bane was a big fan of jazz. Big fan of the blues too. He was constantly humming a tune or writing his own music. My father could've made it big time in the music industry if he wanted...."

Alec blinked. He knew Magnus got sad all of a sudden but he couldn't understand why. The song was an upbeat jazz. Upbeat music was supposed to make you happy. Not sad. "Where's M-Magnus' father now? Home?"

Magnus shook his head. "Old man passed on a few years ago. Stroke. I didn't think he was going to go out the way he did. I always thought he was going to pass away peacefully in his sleep while listening to music." He shrugged. "Look how wrong I was."

The record continued to play as Magnus whipped up a batch of pancakes for them. Alec dumped the entire bag of chocolate chips into the batter while Magnus stirred. 

"You like a bit of pancakes with your chocolate chips?" He laughed as Alec picked up the ones that fell onto the counter with his fingers and ate them. 

"Yes," Alec bit into a chip. "Lots of chocolate ch-chips. Magnus like chocolate chips too?"

"I certainly do. Sometimes I just eat them like that." Magnus smirked as Alec's eyes widened. 

"Alec does that too! Does Magnus like cookies?"

Leaning in like he had a secret, Magnus whispered, "I love cookies."

Alec giggled and clapped his hands quietly. After Magnus poured the batter into the frying pan, he took a seat at the kitchen table and opened the book he secretly packed without Magnus knowing. The pancakes smelled delicious once they were beginning to fry. His nose worked overtime as he sniffed the air. 

"I wish I knew how to make shapes with the pancake batter. Like that guy does on AMC. He makes Walking Dead pancakes, Breaking Bad pancakes. All kinds. And they all look like a character from those shows. You watch anything on AMC?"

"No," Alec shook his head. "Alec finds that channel too loud. Hurts ears. Izzy watches Walking Dead. Yes. Her favorite is," he made his voice deep and raspy, imitating Rick Grimes. "Carl."

Magnus burst out laughing. "That was good! That was a really good impression of Rick. That's actually what he says all the time too."

Alec laughed along with Magnus. He liked Magnus' laughter. It was contagious. "Alec never saw t-that show before. Izzy says it's....graphic? And lots of gore."

"Which it is. That show isn't for those with a weak stomach, that's for sure." Magnus turned off the stovetop and grabbed a spatula to place the pancakes onto their plates. "Voila. Pancakes á la Bane. Enjoy."

Alec attacked his like a wild animal. The chocolate chips tasted incredible in the pancakes, which weren't too doughy. They were nice and crispy on the outside just the way he liked them. 

"I remember bringing home just one dog. Not two," Magnus chuckled. Alec paused from chewing to squint in confusion. "You're eating your food like Xavier would. Slow down. You're going to choke one day if you keep eating fast like that. No one wants your food. Take your time."

Alec winced. "Alec sorry. Just so....just so delicious. Gobble it all up."

"Well I'm glad you're enjoying my cooking but you need to take it slow. Routine, remember? Bite, chew, swallow, drink."

Alec nodded and fell back into his routine. He was just so hungry that routine was the last thing on his mind. 

"Ah. Wow. That's the best batch of pancakes I've ever made. Did you enjoy them?" Magnus asked. 

Alec nodded, allowing Magnus to take his plate to the sink to clean it. "Delicious. Magnus sh-should open pancake shop. Sell pancakes."

"I might just consider that," Magnus winked and chuckled as Alec flushed red in the face. "So what would you like to do now? I have more records I want to show you."

Alec sucked on the collar of his shirt, paying no attention to Magnus as rain began to hit the window, the sound drowning out everything around him. He hummed in content with the more rain that fell. 

But Magnus didn't bother him. He saw that Alec was quite content with just sitting there and watching the rain hit the window. It was actually a really adorable sight; Alec resting his chin on his hands and humming an unknown song, his Bambi eyes filled with childlike wonder. 

Not wanting to bother Alec, Magnus disappeared into his room to grab an old photo album. It was filled with old photos from his childhood. Kindergarten. Birthday parties. School dances. Everything from his childhood right up until his high school graduation. Alec would be interested in the photos. Plus he deserved to know a little bit about Magnus. 

Back in the kitchen, Alec was still positioned the same, chin resting in his hands, as Magnus came out with the album. "Alec? I have something here that I want to show you. Is that okay?"

Alec blinked as if waking up from a daydream. "M-Magnus? What is it?"

Magnus set the photo album on the table. "It's pictures of me growing up. Want to see them?"

"Baby pic-pictures?" Alec asked. He took the album from Magnus and opened it, smiling at a baby photo of Magnus. "Aww. Baby Magnus, yeah? So-so small!"

Magnus laughed as Alec flipped through the photos. He seemed fascinated by all the pictures displayed in front of him, with Magnus' life splayed out before him. "That's me on the first day of kindergarten. I loved that Power Rangers shirt so much. I wanted to wear it everyday but my mom wouldn't let me."

Alec giggled. "Who's that? Little-little girl."

Magnus frowned. "That's my sister. Rosalie. She....passed away when we were kids. Pneumonia. I was only young when she died."

Alec squinted, unsure how to react in this situation. "Magnus okay, yeah? Don't cry. Alec here."

Magnus saw Alec's hand slowly slide over and grasp his own. These hands were warm to the touch. Magnus could feel Alec's steady pulse beating at the tips of his fingers as he gripped Magnus reassuringly but he didn't say anything, mainly because he didn't know what to say. 

Alec smiled down at another photo of Rosalie. "Ro-Rosalie beautiful. Like Magnus."

Magnus finally cracked a smile. "You think I'm beautiful?"

Alec stiffened, face turning pink. "Mmhmm. Look. Magnus first Halloween dance?"

The photo was of Magnus in middle school when he went to his first school dance. He was going through an awkward stage; puberty had hit, his body was growing too fast and dancing wasn't exactly his strong suit. "Hah. I completely forgot about this day. This is the day I decided I wanted dance lessons."

"Magnus dance? Like ballet?" Alec flipped the page, not looking up as he spoke. 

"Not ballet. I do a lot of break dance, actually. Street style. My mom tried to get me to do ballet but I put my foot down and said no. Break dancing is where my heart is."

The last photo was of Magnus at his high school graduation. Alec's eyes roamed over the girl standing next to him. She wore a bright orange dress that hurt Alec's eyes the longer he looked at her. "Who's she, yeah? Friend?"

Magnus shook his head. "That's Camille. She was my date to prom....and she was my girlfriend at the time." He waited for Alec to respond to 'girlfriend' but he didn't even flinch. "We broke up just after high school. She moved to Paris and I stayed here to do nursing. We haven't spoken since."

Alec cocked his head. That was the last photo in the album. "No more photos? How c-come? Alec want more to see."

Magnus closed the album. "Sorry bud. This is my mom's album. I took it with me when I moved out. It's the only one I have. She stopped taking photos after grad. She didn't have use for this anyway."

Alec tapped the table with his fingers. "Take more photos. Magnus? Take photos of Alec." He pointed to himself then to Magnus. "Together."

"Like a selfie?" Alec nodded, making Magnus laugh. "Alright. Let's make our own photo album together. How does that sound?" He chuckled as Alec made a duck face as he took out his phone. "Please don't tell me that's your selfie face."

"No. This Izzy's selfie f-face. Alec's is this," he smiled, his eyes crinkling around the edges. 

Magnus' heart skipped a beat at the beautiful smile in front of him. "Nothing wrong with that one. It's lovely. Ready for the picture?" He held up his phone and flipped the camera to face them. "Say cheese!"

"Ch-cheese!" Alec giggled, snorting as Magnus made a goofy face. "Magnus! St-stop! So silly. Funny face in photo. Can Alec see?"

Magnus handed him his phone. "Let me know if you want to take another one in case you don't like that one."

"Alec likes it. Look. Magnus face silly looking," Alec used his thumb and forefinger to zoom in on the screen, or more specifically, Magnus' face. "So cute. Soft face."

"Did you just call my face soft?" Magnus bit his lip as Alec scrolled through his photos. "And it's obvious the cute one here is you."

Alec peeked up from under his long lashes at Magnus before bringing his attention back to the phone. "All done. Take more photos soon, yeah? For album?"

"Absolutely. We'll have an entire album complete before the year is over." Phone now back in his pocket, Magnus changed the record to a Beatles album. "While we're here, let's have a session. I'll turn the music down a bit so you can concentrate. It'll just be background music. Sound good?"

Alec grumbled. "Alec doesn't really like sessions. Too frustrating. Gives Alec headache. Here." 

He pointed to his temple. Magnus frowned. "We won't do much today. Just a few sentences, okay? We'll just be ten minutes. I promise."

Sessions really did give Alec a headache. Even though Magnus made things easy for him, he still got incredibly frustrated with himself and couldn't stand getting something wrong. He felt embarrassed and humiliated whenever he made a mistake and Magnus would correct him. It made him feel stupid; like a child. 

As promised, the session was only ten minutes long. But even ten minutes had an effect on Alec. He felt a pressure in his forehead unlike anything he ever felt before. It felt like his head was about to explode. This wasn't a normal headache for him. 

"Ah," he winced, pressing his fingers to his temples. 

"Hey. You okay?" Magnus asked. 

Alec winced again and nodded. "Alec is okay. Just headache....Magnus have medicine for pain?"

"Like a painkiller? I think so. Just let me check." The bathroom was only a few feet away from the kitchen, so he didn't have far to go. Opening the medicine cabinet, he grabbed the bottle of Advil (which only had one inside) and filled a paper cup up with water. "You got lucky. This is the last pill in the bottle. Your name must be on it."

Alec looked up at Magnus in confusion before squinting down at the pill. "Pill has Alec's name? Where?"

"It's not....it's not really there," Magnus snickered. Alec looked so adorable holding the tiny pill with his large fingers as he tried to look for his name written on it. "I just meant that you got lucky that I had one pill left. Your name isn't actually on it. Sorry. I shouldn't have told you that."

"Magnus is okay. No apology needed," Alec popped the pill into his mouth before drinking from the paper cup. He tilted his head back and swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing. "Thank you. Alec is tired....weird. Not n-nighttime yet."

"You're probably just exhausted after having an exciting morning. You got Xavier, went to the park for burritos, went swimming, came back here. You had quite the adventure."

Alec smiled. "Yeah. Alec did. Magnus did t-too. Have fun?"

"I had lots of fun so far today. The day isn't over yet. There's still a ton of things left to do today-" He paused to let Alec yawn and stretch. "Those pills work fast on you. You want to lie down and rest?"

Alec nodded sleepily. Magnus was right. These pills did work fast on him. "Lie down....yeah. Good idea. Wh-where?"

Magnus looked at the couch. It was old with a spring that often popped up and punched you when you least expected it. "Come on. I'll show you my bedroom."

Now to most people, showing someone the bedroom seemed fairly intimate or implied something that Alec had no idea about. All he knew was that Magnus was about to show him his bedroom. That's all. He didn't think of it as anything sexual or anything of the sort. In fact, Alec was curious as to what Magnus had in his bedroom. Did he have a stuffed Dory too? Or windchimes? He didn't notice any around the rest of the place....which made him sad. He made a mental note to buy one for Magnus. It'll be a Christmas gift. 

"And here's the master bedroom. The only bedroom, actually. This apartment's only small. The rent is cheap so I can't complain-" Magnus cleared his throat. "Come on in. You can lie down on the bed, if you'd like. Rest in here for a bit."

Alec poked his head into the room cautiously. He always did this whenever he was about to enter a strange place, no matter where he was or who he was with. Carefully, he took a step into the room and hummed in content. 

Magnus had a nice bedroom. It was painted a dark gray (not a color he'd pick) with a white ceiling and dark hardwood flooring. The bed was a queen size, which faced a large window overlooking the busy street below. Alec could see the Liberty from where he stood and he hummed even more. 

The rest of the room was pretty simple and standard; a dresser was up against the wall to the left of the bed, clothes hanging out from the open drawers. A small bookshelf stood on the other side of the bed, books facing every which way. Alec felt an urge to organize them by author, alphabetically, but squeezed his hands to occupy himself. 

"So....this is my room," Magnus chuckled. "Do you like it?"

Alec poked the bed with a finger. The mattress felt soft and the sheets smelled fresh. "Yes. Nice room. Nice v-view. Alec see the Liberty from here."

Magnus grinned as Alec waved to the Lady Liberty. "I'm glad. My room just got Alec approved. That's a huge honor."

Alec rolled his eyes and smiled. "So silly, Magnus. Alec take nap now, yeah? Head still hurts."

"Right, right. I'll shut up and leave you alone. Make yourself at home, okay? If you need me I'll just be down the hall in the living room. I'll just be watching tv or something. Call out to me if you need anything."

Alec laid himself out on the bed, squirming to test the comfort level of the mattress. Once he was all settled in, a huge yawn ripped from his mouth. "Oh. Sorry. Alec so tired. Didn't m-mean to do that."

"We all yawn, bud. That's what happens when we're tired," Magnus smiled down at him and nodded. "You comfortable there? If you're not entirely comfortable with sleeping under the sheets, I can get you a blanket if you want."

Alec nodded, prompting Magnus to go to the closet and take out an extra blanket. Once the blanket was unfolded and Alec was cuddled in, another yawn escaped his lips. "Magnus be down hall? Alec call out if need Magnus, yes?"

"That's right. I'll leave the door open a little bit for you. It won't get dark until later on so when you wake up, you won't be in complete darkness. You okay there?"

Alec nodded. He had moved so that he was now laying on his side and had the pillow tucked under his chin and an arm underneath it. "Alec okay. Thank you, Magnus. Love you."

Magnus felt his heart leap into his throat. He was sure Alec didn't mean it like that. It was probably just meant in a friendly manner. "Sweet dreams, bud. Hope you feel better soon."

Alec was already sound asleep, mouth open slightly and soft snores coming from his nose. Smiling, Magnus shut the door, leaving it open an inch or so and left sleeping beauty alone to rest for the remainder of the afternoon.


	12. Twelve

One of the things Alec hated most about his autism is that he loses track of time. Not in the sense that he's having fun like most people would seem to think, but he'll actually lose memory of what he did during the day. Ten hours can feel like ten minutes. A day feels like a minute. He hated it so much. But he'd never tell anyone this. He didn't need any more people concerned about him than there were already. 

The last thing he remembered was taking a nap in Magnus' bed. Then he woke up....but after that it was foggy. He suddenly found himself back in his childhood home, where his parents and siblings lived, atop of Isabelle's bed playing a game of cards. 

Isabelle's room was mostly black and pink. She had went through a goth phase back in high school and couldn't bring herself to change the room around when she grew out of it. The bed was a canopy, curtains hanging from all sides of it, and was a king size fit for a queen. Because the Lightwood home was roomy, her bedroom had tons of space for everything she needed....which was mostly wardrobes for her clothes. She even had her own walk in closet just for her shoes and dresses. Alec didn't want to say it but she was spoiled. Daddy's little princess. Being the only girl, she got whatever she wanted when she wanted it. 

"So how was your day? I heard you had an adventure," Isabelle put a card on top of his. It wasn't a match. 

"Alec had confusing day. Weird....headache here," he pointed to his forehead. "Gone now but h-hurt earlier. Izzy okay?"

Isabelle brushed his hair off his forehead, which he leaned into like a cat getting its fur stroked. "My day was okay. You excited for dad's Halloween party tomorrow?"

Alec moaned. "Tomorrow? Alec not ready. No. No costume, Izzy. No....."

"Hey, it's okay. Listen to me," Isabelle took her brother's hands in her own before he could squeeze them. "I picked up your costume yesterday. A banana, right?" She smiled as Alec nodded. "I got your back, big bro. Izzy's going to make everything okay. Don't worry."

"Be happy," Alec mumbled. He hummed the song to himself as they continued to play their card game. He thought back to when they were kids and Izzy would play a game of cards to help get his focus off the sound of their parents yelling at each other downstairs. She'd done a lot of things to protect him growing up, and there was nothing he could do to pay her back but be the best brother he could to her. "Izzy? Alec has question."

"I'm listening," she said. The card on top of his was a match. She took his and placed it in her pile.

Alec rubbed his neck nervously. "Can boys like boys?"

Isabelle spit out her mouthful of lemonade. Some landed on Alec's face and he looked horrified at her. "Fuck. I mean shit. I mean-sorry. What? Why do you ask that?"

Alec shrugged. "Alec would like to know. For school."

"Uh huh. Sure, Jan. Don't ask who that is." Grabbing a tissue, she wiped her brother's wet face with it. "Okay. If I answer your question, do you promise to tell me what's really going on?"

Alec nodded. 

"Good. Okay. Well....boys can like other boys. Just like girls can like other girls. Love isn't just set so that it's meant to be between one male and one female. Love is....difficult."

"Difficult?" Alec cocked his head. "H-how?"

"How can I explain this....okay. You know how when we make cookies, all the cookies are different?" She waited for Alec to respond, which he did with a nod. "Let's pretend those cookies are people. Everyone is different. Some people are tall. Some people are short. Some are thin. Some are thick. Not all of them are the same."

Alec understood what she meant a little but it was still a bit confusing. "Everyone diff-different. Just like Alec different?"

Isabelle nodded. "Exactly. Love is different, just like people. Some girls may be attracted to men or women. Sometimes both. Same goes for men. But attraction doesn't end with just looks. You can be attracted to personality, their intelligence. Lots of things."

"Lots of things," Alec echoed. "How d-does someone know they like someone else?"

"That's a little complicated. It's different with everyone. Sometimes you get along with someone right away. Other times you have to wait a while to see if there's anything there. Like feelings. You may like someone but they might not like you the same way."

Alec gulped. "And-and if they do?"

"Then that's great. Means you can explore your feels for each other. Go on dates and stuff. Like what Simon and I do." Isabelle raised an eyebrow. "You know you're going to have to spill the beans soon, right?"

Alec didn't have any beans. He scratched his head, thinking he should've brought some with him. "Real beans? Just an expression, yeah? Izzy?"

"It's an expression. Means you have to tell me everything that's going on in that beautiful mind of yours."

Alec groaned as she gently poked his forehead. "Alec has question again....what-what does love feel like?"

Isabelle blew a raspberry. "That's a tough one. Love is...." She smiled at her brother. He was watching her so intently that it was probably the longest time he's ever looked at her. "Love feels like how our cookies taste. Sweet and warm. No matter how bad your day, no matter how crappy you feel, you can come home to someone sweet and warm and they will do anything to make you feel better because all they want is to see you smile."

Alec thought about how their cookies tasted and widened his eyes. "Sweet and warm? Love is-is like cookies. Izzy smart. Good advice."

Izzy sighed as Alec pat her on the head. "It's your turn to live up to the promise, Alexander Gideon. Why did you ask that question?"

Should he tell her? There was a million and one things going on in his head right now, and almost none of it made any sense to him. But then if he did tell her, maybe Izzy could help sort out his feelings. "Izzy? Don't tell mumma and dad. Okay?"

Isabelle locked her lips. "Lightwood promise. Pinky swear." She held out her pinky like they used to do when they were kids. 

Alec looped his own long pinky around hers. "O-okay. This hard for Alec. Okay...." He took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "Alec....has feelings for Magnus."

Isabelle shoved her free hand into her mouth to keep from screaming. "Alec! Are you serious? Like you like Magnus? For real?!"

Alec winced as her voice went up an octave. "Yes. For real. Magnus kiss Alec's hand when hurt. Felt some-something ever since."

Isabelle giggled uncontrollably and wiggled around on the bed. "Oh my god this is perfect. This is my dream come true. I've literally dreamt of this moment since I saw you and Magnus for the first time together. I ship you guys so hard."

"Sh-ship? What's that mean, Izzy?"

"Means I love the idea of you guys together. I'm calling it Malec. I dubbed it. Copyright. All rights reserved. Mine," she giggled again. "I knew something was up! When you asked me if boys could like boys, I just knew it. Alec.....I'm so happy for you. I really am. My middle child heart is just beating so fast for you."

Alec groaned as she hugged him, body stiffening. "Izzzz. St-stop. There's n-nothing wrong with Alec though, no? Can Alec like boys?"

"Big brother, you can like whoever the hell you want. There's no rulebook when it comes to love. Love is love. Regardless," she kissed his hand and smiled. "Have you told him yet?"

Alec shook his head. "No. Not-not yet. Too soon. Alec doesn't want to make things weird."

"Alec. The longer you wait, the harder it gets. Who knows? Maybe he likes you the same way?" She snatched his phone off the bed and scrolled through his contacts. "You really need to change your passcode. 1234 is way too easy."

"Iz? Wh-what are you doing?" Horrified, Alec tried to grab his phone from her grip. "No! Izzzzzz. Stoooooop," he whined. 

"Oh shut up. It's ringing! Here!" She laughed as she tossed his phone and he caught it. 

"Hello? Alec, is that you?" A voice said on the other end. 

Alec stiffened, phone pressed to his ear. "Magnus. Hiiiiiii."

Magnus laughed. "Hi. What can I do for you this late at night?"

Alec glanced at Isabelle. She mouthed the words 'tell him!' while waving her arms around in the air. "Uh.....Alec....has something to tell Magnus."

A pause. "Okay. What is it?"

Alec looked at his sister again. Isabelle bit into her pillow and waved him on. "Um........Magnus going to party tomorrow?" He winced as Isabelle groaned and hit her forehead with a hand. 

"That's more of a question, isn't it?" Magnus laughed. "Yeah, I'm definitely going. What time is the party?"

"8 o'clock," Alec said, a bit too quickly. "Yes. At 8. Alec see Magnus there?"

"You betcha! I can't wait. I love a good party," Magnus chuckled. 

They were both silent for a minute before Alec spoke up again. "Alec go now. Leaving to go home s-soon."

"Okay. Is that all you wanted to say? Just to remind me of the party, I mean."

Alec nodded but quickly remembered he was on the phone. "Yes. That's all. Bye bye Magnus." He hung up before he could hear a bye back. He glared at Isabelle, who had a smirk on her face. "Alec feel so embarrassed right now, Izzy!"

"No you don't! I did you a favor. I stirred the metaphorical pot. Now I just have to wait for the ingredients to boil," she cackled like a witch. "My evil plan is working!"

Alec rubbed his arms and neck. "Izzzzzy. Alec scared, okay? Very scared."

Isabelle stopped laughing. "Why are you scared?"

Alec swallowed nervously. "B-because mumma and dad might not-not like Alec anymore if they know Alec likes boys."

Isabelle's heart sank in her chest. Just like old times, she held Alec's hands in her own and leaned her head against his shoulder. "Remember when we were kids we climbed the tree in nana's front yard and I fell and broke my arm?"

"Y-yeah. Izzy cried. Got cast, yeah?" Alec remembered that day very clearly. He remembered the crack her arm made when she fell. He remembered how hard she cried and how he couldn't do anything to help because he didn't know what to do. The most he could do is stay by her side. 

"That's right. Do you remember what you signed out to me that day?" Alec shook his head at this. "You said it's okay to be scared. You said mom and dad weren't going to get mad at me because they loved me no matter what. Well, Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I'm telling you the same thing." She reached up and gently turned his head to face her. "It's okay to be scared, brother. Mom and dad aren't going to stop loving you any less for liking boys. You're their son. Their beautiful, intelligent son. It's impossible not to love you. You're Alec."

Alec giggled and let himself be hugged. As she hugged him, he could feel a stray tear threatening to roll down his cheek but he quickly caught it before Isabelle could see him crying. "Th-thanks, Iz. Alec feel much better."

"Glad I could help. Will you make me another promise?"

Alec stuck out his pinky again. "Lightwood promise. P-pinky swear."

Isabelle took his pinky in her own. "Promise me you'll tell Magnus how you feel. Don't bottle up those feelings for too long. Go for what makes you happy, okay? You deserve it."

Alec looked down at their entwined pinkies. Isabelle's hand was so small and delicate compared to his large hands. His knuckles were noticeably larger than hers and his fingers were nearly twice the length. "Alec promise. As long as Izzy does-doesn't grab phone and call people without permission."

"I can't guarantee anything but I can certainly try," she giggled as Alec booped her nose like he used to do. "I love you, Alec. I love you so much."

Alec hummed low in his throat. "Alec love Izzy too. So much."

"More than cookies?"

"More than Kraft d-dinner," Alec whispered, earning himself his own boop on the nose and giggling along with his sister.


	13. Thirteen

As much as Magnus loved dressing up and looking his best, Halloween was never his thing. He hated being something he wasn't. Hated wasn't even the right word he'd use. Loathed was a better word. He loathed being something he wasn't. It took him most of his teenage years to accept his sexuality and finally become comfortable with himself, so why change that? Even if it was just for a night?

"What the fuck am I supposed to wear....." Magnus whispered as he went through his closet in hopes of some sort of epiphany to hit him like a bolt of lightning. It was Sunday night, the night of the party, and he had heaps and heaps of clothes to go through. Most of his pay checks went towards either groceries, the rent or new clothes. Mainly clothes. 

A black shirt caught his eye. Taking it out, he held it up to the full length mirror beside him. It was a shirt he hadn't even worn yet; the price tag was still on it. It was a nice shirt. Black with buttons going down the collar on a diagonal, a hood that could be clipped on or taken off and sleeves that looked skin tight. 

The perfect shirt. 

Magnus slipped off the shirt he'd been wearing all day and put on this gem of a shirt. It fight him perfectly. It made his biceps look bigger and his chest broader. He smiled. This was the shirt he was wearing. 

"But what can I be? I can't just show up with this shirt and expect people to know I'm dressed up." He sat on the edge of his bed in a huff. That's when his makeup on his bureau grabbed his attention. 

He never wore makeup while at work (at either of his jobs) and it killed him that he couldn't. The office had a strict rule against heavy makeup, and he wanted to look professional in the Lightwood's eyes so he rarely ever wore makeup anymore. And he loved makeup. 

"I guess Halloween does have its perks," he mumbled. 

In the bathroom, he carefully applied eyeliner and eyeshadow to darken the area around his eyes. Next he painted his nails black and waited a few minutes for them to dry. While they dried, he rooted around his jewelry box for an extra bit of bling to liven up his all black outfit. He found several rings and necklaces that he'd been dying to wear since he bought them. One of them was shaped like a sabertooth. Alec would love this one. 

When his nails were finally done, he styled his hair the way he usually did but with a small twist; he let his front flop over to the side a little before dying it red with temporary hair dye. 

The final product looked amazing. His entire body felt more alive than it had been in a long time. He felt refreshed. He felt new. Even if he despised Halloween, he loved that he could finally wear outfits that he hadn't been able to wear in a long time. He didn't feel as if he was dressed as something he wasn't. If anything, he felt more like himself. 

The clock read 7:30. If he left now, he might be able to beat the Halloween traffic. The Lightwood home was in the upper east side of New York. He'd never been there but he knew the fancy houses there were, well, fancy. Expensive to the point it'd make you sick just by looking at the amount of zeroes there are in the price of the home. 

"Alright, Magnus. You can do this. You're going to go to that party and impress the whole family with your professionalism. Go kick some ass," Magnus breathed deeply and grabbed his car keys and his jacket before heading out. 

It was 7:57 when he arrived at the Lightwood home. There was no place to park so he parked a block away and ran to the front door. His makeup was surprisingly holding up really well considering how sweaty he was after running to get to the house on time. He wondered who would answer. Definitely not Alec. That one time was a freak accident. 

The door opened seconds after he rang the bell. A man with a bald head and vampire teeth stood before him, cape swirling with the fog that seeped out through the open door. 

"Welcome to the Lightwood Manor!" The man said in a thick Transylvanian accent. "Who might you be?"

Magnus was stunned for a second. "Uh.....Magnus Bane? Alec invited me."

The man dropped the accent. It was now a heavy Italian accent. "Oh! So you're Magnus! Alec never stops talking about you and that's saying something. Come on in! The party's just getting started!"

Magnus took a step inside and marvelled at how tall the ceiling was. The staircase was massive and there were paintings covering every inch of the walls. The one at the top of the stairs was a family portrait of the entire family. 

The bald man outstretched a hand for Magnus to shake. "I'm Robert! Alec's dad. I'm sorry it took so long for us to meet. I was away on business."

"That's okay. I was nervous to meet you anyway," Magnus chuckled. He heard The Monster Mash playing from somewhere in the house. There quite a few people there already, all dressed as different things. Vampires. Werewolves. Witches. But none were very original. 

"Nervous? Pffft. Don't be nervous. I'm a pretty down to earth kind of guy. Emphasis on pretty. Alec gets his good looks from me," Robert chuckled, wincing when his fangs fell out of his mouth. 

Magnus smirked as Robert winked. "Same with his sense of humor too. Where is he? I want to let him know I'm here."

Robert nodded his head. "Follow me. He's in the sub-division of the kitchen. The sub is his sacred place during parties. The only people allowed in there are family and maybe a friend or two. He goes there when the house gets too overwhelming during parties."

The kitchen had a sub-division? Magnus reeled but managed to keep up with Robert as he was led through a maze of corridors. Finally, they passed through a set of swinging doors that revealed a jumbo size kitchen. There were cooks and piles of food everywhere as they shouted orders back and forth to each other, just like in a restaurant. 

"Smells fantastic, guys! I'll be back in to try the punch to make sure it's just the way the wife likes it!" The cooks chuckled as Robert made his way through the crowd. "Right this way. I'd be surprised if he wasn't in there."

Sure enough, Alec was seated on a bar stool at a counter when they walked in. He looked up when Robert stepped in, but his face brightened when Magnus followed behind. "Magnus! Hiiiii."

"Hi! You're a banana!" Magnus pointed out. Alec was indeed wearing a yellow banana costume with a pair of black pants and shoes. He had the hood part pushed back, revealing his usual messy black hair. He looked adorable. 

"Yeah. Alec like bananas. What's M-Magnus supposed to be?" He eyed Magnus up and down. He liked the jewelry the other man was wearing, especially the necklace that looked like a tooth. It was shiny and very pretty. 

"Oh. Uh.....I'm a warlock. A modern day warlock. With fantastic fashion sense," he chuckled. "It's really quiet in here. You can barely hear anything that's going on out there."

"That's why he likes coming in here, don't you kiddo?" Robert ruffled his son's hair, earning himself a groan. 

"Daaaaad. S-stop it. Not in front of-of Magnus, yeah? Go find mumma," Alec scowled. 

"Go find mumma, he says. That's my cue to leave I suppose. Feel free to help yourself with any of the food out there. I'll let my staff know you have free reign of the place. Have fun!"

Robert danced his way back out to the main kitchen. Alec giggled and rolled his eyes as Magnus watched with a stunned expression. "Dad is-is weird. Love Halloween too much. Alec sorry for his b-behaviour."

"Hey. I like your dad. He's got a very unique sense of humor just like someone else I know," he winked at Alec and laughed. "How come you're not out there with the partygoers?"

Alec shrugged. "Too crowded. Mumma invited 150 people. One h-hundred and fifty people too many." He sighed and took a sip of his drink. It smelled like punch. "Magnus go trick or tr-treating today?"

"Me? No. I'm too old for that stuff. As much as I love free candy, I can't do that to the kids. It's almost like stealing."

Alec went trick or treating, but he didn't tell Magnus where. All he did was go to all the rooms in the house and knock on them. A staff member of the house would answer and put something in his treat bag. He couldn't go outside to trick or treat. It spiked his anxiety levels too much. "Yeah. Alec old too. But left-leftovers are good too, yes? Leftover chocolate?"

"Definitely. It's not stealing when it's yours," Magnus winked again, causing Alec to blush. "Hey. About that phone call last night....you hung up pretty quick. How come?"

Oh no. Magnus was going to find out about his feelings for him. Alec could just feel it in his gut. He groaned quietly and squeezed his hands in his lap. He didn't want to talk about it, but he knew it would be rude not to answer Magnus' question. "Battery dying. Alec had to go before it died. Yeah. Silly battery."

Knowing this wasn't the truth, Magnus accepted this answer anyway. It was apparent that there was more to the story but he wasn't going to pressure Alec about it. Whatever it was, Alec would tell him when he felt ready. "Okay. I'm not mad or anything. I just didn't know if there was something wrong or not. It scared me a little bit."

Alec squinted in confusion. "Magnus scared? How come?"

"I don't know. If anything happened to you...." His voice trailed on as he looked into Alec's eyes. It surprised him how brave Alec had been getting over the past week. It was amazing to see how a week could change somebody completely; Alec went from zero eye contact and was gradually beginning to look him in the eye more often. It was incredible to see the change. "I'd be very upset if something happened to you. I'm not sure what I'd do."

Alec saw the strand of red in Magnus' hair and raised a hand, stroking it with a finger. It looked really pretty on Magnus. Plus it wasn't a bright red either. Alec didn't like bright colors. They hurt his eyes. This red was a darker shade, which he found very soothing to look at. 

Magnus froze when he felt a hand gently brush through his hair. When he realized it was only Alec, his heart hammered so loudly in his chest that he was sure everyone in the spacious home could hear it. Even over the sound of the loud music. He glanced at Alec; the young man was too occupied with the red strand of hair that he didn't even realize that Magnus was staring at him, wanting to run his own fingers through that beautiful black hair. 

Alec finally noticed Magnus staring at him. He blushed and lowered his hand. "Alec sorry. Didn't mean....Magnus' hair nice. Glitter in it."

"I didn't put any glitter in it," Magnus unconsciously ran a hand through his hair. Alec watched him, licking his lips and humming quietly. "Um....you look good tonight. Your costume is amazing."

Alec nodded. "Magnus look good too. But not as g-good as Xavier."

Silently laughing, Magnus said, "Oh? Where is he?"

As if on cue, the swinging doors opened and the Rottweiler lumbered in, licking some kind of cream off his nose. He wore a pair of demon horns (which was ironic. He was the complete opposite of demonic). He burped as he saw Magnus seated at the counter and his stump tail began to wag. 

"There he is! Hello, brute. I see you're dressed up as a demon?" Magnus glanced up at Alec. 

"Alec didn't have any dog costumes. Just-just the headband. Cute, yeah?"

Xavier drooled on Magnus' knee. "Very. Although the drool isn't cute-"

"Xavier! Where are you, boy?" A little boy raced into the sub. "There you are! You got into the whipped cream, didn't you? Bad dog!"

"M-Max. Don't yell at Xavier. Not nice...." Alec grumbled. "Why is Max in here? Mumma need Alec?"

The little boy, Max, shook his head. "No. I was playing with Xavier and lost sight of him. He got into the whipped cream in the kitchen. I didn't catch him in time."

Magnus looked Max over. This must've been the youngest Lightwood. He looked nothing like the rest of the family; the black hair and dark eyes gene must've skipped him altogether. His hair was a dark blonde and his eyes were green and he had a speckling of freckles across his cheeks and nose. "You're Max, right? I'm Magnus. I work with your brother."

Max peered over at Alec. "Alec doesn't work."

Magnus chuckled. "Well, I help take care of him in the evenings and on the weekends. We're good friends."

Max shrugged. "I don't get why Alec needs taking care of. He's an adult, right?"

"Maaaaaax," Alec groaned, gripping his black hair tightly. "Mumma and d-dad had this talk already. D-don't start."

Max huffed. "It's just stupid, that's all! You're always getting the attention! No one ever pays attention to me and I'm the youngest!"

Magnus didn't get a chance to speak up when Max stormed out of the sub angrily. "Wow. Lot of anger in that child. What's up with him?"

Alec rocked back and forth on the stool he was seated on. "Max doesn't under-understand Alec's condition. Thinks it stupid. But Alec not stupid. No. Magnus? Alec not stupid."

"Absolutely not. You can't help the way you were born. He'll come around eventually. You just have to be patient. He's just a kid," Magnus said. "How about I grab us some of those delicious looking cupcakes from the kitchen? They have orange icing."

That sounded nice, so Alec nodded. He watched Magnus leave, reaching down to pet Xavier when a familiar pair of high heels clicked their way into the sub. Looking up, he saw Isabelle standing beside the counter, hands on her hips. 

"So? Did you tell him?" She demanded. 

"Tell-tell him what?"

She scoffed. "I figured you didn't. Look. I can't stay long. I'm in my witch outfit that I told you about and headed to Pandemonium for another party. Mom and dad don't know I'm here and they have no idea what it is I'm wearing. So I'm letting you off this time, Alec, but the next time I see you.....you better have told him."

She clicked her way out the back entrance just when Magnus came back with two cupcakes in each hand. 

"I almost got beaten up with a wooden spatula. Good thing your dad was hovering or else I'd have splinters everywhere," Magnus chuckled. He laid the cupcakes out on the counter for them to eat and as he peeled off the wrapper to his, Xavier jumped up and propped his front paws up on the counter and watched him, groaning. "No. Get down. These aren't for you."

Alec giggled, wiping some icing off his own and slipping his hand under the table. He felt Xavier begin to lick his hand, making loud slurpy noises. "Not-not very sneaky, Xavier. Loud. Shhh."

Magnus smiled, biting into his cupcake. It tasted fantastic. "Who needs a Halloween party when you and I can have one right here?"

"Not much of a party. Just two p-people. Parties bigger, yeah?"

Magnus leaned forward on the counter, a broad smile on his face. "There's an old rhyme my mom used to tell me when I was a kid. It went like this: 'one is lonely, two is a crowd, three is a party and four is too loud. Five is a disaster, six will bring doom and seven just means you're all out of room'."

Alec smiled at this. He enjoyed rhymes. He read lots of poetry when he found the time, and he enjoyed the structure and rhythm of poems. "That's-that was nice. Magnus has smart mumma."

Magnus frowned. "Yeah. Wish she still was....."

Alec copied Magnus' expression as he tried to understand why Magnus was suddenly sad. "Magnus? Magnuuuuuus."

This made Magnus grin. "Aleeeeeeec."

Alec pointed to the floor. "Xavier ate Magnus' cupcake."

Magnus whipped around to face Xavier. Sure enough, the Rottweiler had orange icing on his snout. Caught in the act, Xavier burped and groaned. 

"For the love of god, Xavier! Not again!" Magnus half shouted. 

Alec laughed and pointed to himself. "Alec will share cupcake. Okay, Magnus? Share."

He pushed the cupcake towards Magnus, who picked it up with gratification. "Thank you, Alec. I appreciate this. But you only had one cupcake...."

"Alec is okay. Cupcakes same every year anyway. Not-not new," Alec smiled, his eyes disappearing underneath his eyelids because his smile was so big. "Magnus? Alec glad Magnus came to party. Not so....not so lonely now."

Magnus felt his heart pang with sympathy. It must've been lonely, growing up with chronic anxiety mixed with autism and nobody really understood you or what you were going through. "You're not lonely anymore. You have me."

Alec smiled and hummed softly, rocking back and forth in his chair, happy that someone was finally giving him the attention he needed and not the attention people thought he wanted.


	14. Fourteen

Time flies. This was a given when Magnus blinked and found himself looking at the second week of November on his calendar. It only felt like yesterday that he and Alec were sharing cupcakes at his family's Halloween party. Where did the time go? 

After the party, Alec focused on his goals list more than anything else, and he accomplished a lot things in such a short amount of time. He learned how to use a yo-yo. He overcame his fear of holding a glass after someone else held it. He joined archery at the gym and was shockingly good at it. 

Magnus was so proud. It was almost like watching your child grow up before your very eyes. From child to adult. Boy to man. He loved seeing the gradual change in Alec as he tried new things. Granted, he was still iffy about a few things like sleeping without his nightlight or not organizing things when he was stressed. But he was changing. That much was evident. 

Magnus smiled as he remembered the first time Alec held a glass that was previously held by him earlier last week. It was an agonizing process but it was on the goal list, and Alec seemed determined to achieve it. 

"Alec, just touch the glass," Magnus said. 

Alec shook his head. "No."

"Why not?"

"Germs. Lots of g-germs," Alec began to tap his fingers on the table. "S-seventy five percent of illnesses are caused by touch-touching something that someone else touched."

Magnus snorted. "What on earth have you been reading lately? Did Harry Potter bore you or something?" He pushed the glass towards Alec. "Pick up the glass, Alexander."

"No," Alec moaned. "Mag-Magnus. Please. Respect Alec's wishes. Don't pressure."

"If I didn't pressure, would you have accomplished so many goals on your list?" The glass stood between them like a force field. He knew Alec could hear him and understand him, but Magnus wasn't really getting to him. "Touch the glass, Alec. Just one finger. Touch it."

Alec looked down at the glass. The disgusting, germ infested glass that Magnus held in his hand 20 minutes before. He even drank from it. Alec knew his mind worked in a weird way. He didn't mind sharing his burrito or his cupcake with Magnus, but when it came to someone sharing with him, his mind shut down. He put up a barrier that he thought blocked out all the germs in the world, even though they didn't. His mind just thought that it could.....it was hard to explain to people. Not that he was any good at explaining things to begin with. 

"The longer you refuse, the longer we'll be sitting here," Magnus said. "I can do this all day. I have all the time in the world." 

Magnus leaned back in his chair and lift his arm over the back so that his elbow was resting on it. Alec didn't like the look on his face; it made him nervous. Maybe he should just hold the glass and get this over with-

"No! No, no, no. Alec won't touch glass. No. Germs. Yucky. Gross. Alec can't-" Alec felt his hands stiffen and shake. Closing his eyes, he breathed in through his mouth and out through his nose, just like his therapist taught him when he was a boy. It helped calm his nerves. "Fine. Alec will try. Don't f-force Alec, okay? No force."

"No one's forcing you to do anything, Alec. We'll get through this one baby step at a time," Magnus said in an encouraging tone. He eventually learned with Alec that if you encourage him instead of asking the same question repetitively, he'd eventually do what you asked.

With a shaky hand, Alec reached out with a finger and slowly inched his way towards the glass. Another inch and he'd be touching it. Another centimetre.....another millimetre-

"Alec can't do this. No. Too much-too much for Alec to handle. Try another time, yes? Another time," Alec whipped his hand back and rubbed at his neck roughly, mumbling to himself. 

"Fine. We can try another time. There's no-" Magnus began to cough harshly, gasping for air. 

"Magnus okay?" Alec asked. As Magnus continued to cough, he could feel anxiety making its way up the skin of his arms. He scratched them. "Magnus okay, yeah? Please be okay...."

Magnus let out another wrenching cough. "W....water. Get me water. Quickly."

Now panicked, Alec grabbed a glass and ran to the sink, filling it up with water before rushing back over and handing Magnus the glass. Miraculously, Magnus had stopped coughing and was looking up at Alec with a smile. 

"......wh-what just happened? Magnus was coughing and now...." Alec scratched his head, squinting in confusion. 

"You picked up the glass from the table. The glass that you refused to touch and filled it with water for me," Magnus beamed. "All I did was give you a little nudge in the right direction and you did it."

Alec looked at the glass in his hand. His mind wanted him to scream but his heart wanted him to jump with joy at this accomplishment. He was a little unsure on how to feel. "Magnus t-tricked Alec. Why?"

Magnus shrugged. "It wasn't to be mean or anything. I just wanted to help you. That's all. Are you mad at me for what I did?"

Mad? At Magnus? That was impossible. But Alec wanted to be mad because he hated being tricked into doing things, and he knew that Magnus really was trying to help him, regardless of his methods. So no. He wasn't mad. "Alec doesn't like being tricked. No more."

Magnus nodded. "Understood. I won't trick you into doing things anymore. I promise." Magnus made the Scout's Honor with his hand. 

Back to the present, Magnus was seated with Alec at the kitchen table, watching with pride as Alec stole his empty glass and brought it over to the dishwasher. "Aren't you proud that you accomplished yet another thing on your goals list?"

"Mmhmm," Alec said. He had taken his list out from his pocket and checked off his accomplishment. "N-next up is beat Pokemon Snap."

Magnus laughed. "I love that game! That used to be my entire childhood! I'd come home from school and the first thing I'd do is play that game right up until bedtime."

"Magnus play too! Help Alec catch Mew. Very-very sneaky, Mew. Too fast," Alec shook his head in disgust. 

"No Mew is too fast for Magnus Bane. I'll catch that Mew and get the top score," Magnus winked. "Do you own Pokemon Snap?"

Alec nodded while pointing to himself. "In bedroom. Follow Alec."

This was it. Magnus was finally going to see Alec's room after all this time. He wondered what it looked like. Would it be messy? That was a stupid question. Of course it wouldn't be messy. Alec was a neat freak. He liked structure and organization. It would probably be very neat with piles of books stacked somewhere in the room. 

"This is Alec's room," Alec mumbled shyly as he opened a closed door. "Come-come in."

Magnus let his jaw drop to the floor as he stepped into the room. As suspected it was neat and organized but it was filled with windchimes of all sizes hanging from the ceiling. There were also glow in the dark stars and a solar system on the ceiling as well along with the chimes. The walls were a dark blue that matched the dark blue bedsheets on Alec's bed, which was a king size. Atop of the bed were a few stuffed animals; a teddy bear that looked like it's seen better days, a small koala and a Dory from Finding Nemo/Dory. 

Beside the bed was a small table that housed an alarm clock and a few magazines (Magnus wondered what kind they were). A lamp was seated on top of the table beside the clock. On one side of the room was a wardrobe, closed, that more than likely housed Alec's clothes. Same with the dresser on the other side of the room. Both were a dark brown color that matched the dark floorboards. 

What really captured Magnus' attention was the bookshelf next to the doorway. It was large, at least five feet wide and the height of Alec, and there were books galore on the shelves. Some were books such as Harry Potter, Brothers Grimm tales, books for a younger audience. Others were books that he didn't even expect to see on Alec's shelf: The Art of War. Entire works of Edgar Allen Poe. Shakespeare. Books with poetry. There was such a variety on this shelf that it blew him away. 

"Your room is incredible," Magnus said. "It's just so....so you. Everything in here is you."

Alec blushed. "Alec glad Magnus like room. Play Pokemon S-Snap now?"

Magnus sat on the bed while Alec set up the Wii console. It was connected to a wall mounted flat screen, probably 48 inches long and could be adjusted by pulling it out and turning the screen to the way you wanted it. Everything about this room was impressive. Not to mention that Alec didn't even seem to notice that he had a lot of stuff. If you included the corner which Xavier seemed to have taken over, then yes. Alec had a lot of personal possessions. 

"Magnus play first. Alec watch. Learn new th-things. Okay?" Alec handed Magnus the controller. "Magnus play Wii before?"

"Once. And that was when Guitar Hero was all the rage," Magnus awkwardly held the controller, wondering how the hell he was supposed to do this. "Uh....is there an easier way to do this?"

Alec moved again to the Wii. He plugged in what looked to be like another controller of some sort. "This one is easier. Not hard like that one," he tapped the controller Magnus was holding. "Alec take that one. Put it away. Magnus use easy one."

Once the game started, Magnus nodded in approval. "This is much easier. The controls are a lot better. So what level did you leave off on?"

Alec showed him the photos of the Pokemon he'd taken a while back, chatting about how he preferred to get as close as possible to them to get a better score. Every now and then as he talked, Magnus would sneak a peek at him. He admired the way Alec's entire neck moved as he talked, at the way it contracted and expanded and as his throat bobbed up and down the more excited he got as he played the game. He also admired the way Alec's large hands held the controller, which seemed almost too small for him. His long fingers were wrapped expertly around the buttons, the sleeves of his sweater pushed up to reveal prominent veins along the back of his hands and forearms. His long lashes cast a shadow across his cheeks and would brush his skin every time he blinked. Everything about this man was beautiful. 

He was ethereal to look at. 

The two men sat and played video games for hours until Alec's nightlight clicked on when it got dark. As they put everything away and cleaned up their mess they made when they had snacks, it had begun to pour really hard.

"Only New York ever gets rain like this-" A flash of lightning lit up the room. "Oh. Lightning in November. That's new."

Alec trembled. "Y-Yeah. New. Global warming. Anything is-is possible."

Magnus heard the hint of fear in Alec's voice as he spoke. "Don't be frightened. It's only lightning. As long as you stay inside, it can't hit you."

"A man in-in Texas was in his bathroom peeing when he got s-struck by lightning."

"Oh. That's....unfortunate. Was his window open?"

"Alec doesn't know. Wasn't there."

Proper answer. "Right. True. Neither was I so I guess we'll never know." Magnus grabbed his jacket and keys as he headed to the front door. "Close all your windows and doors, okay? Just the doors leading outside. Unplug all of your appliances before you go to bed. Safety first."

"Safe-safety first," Alec repeated. "What about Alec's nightlight? Need that f-for sleep. Don't like the dark."

"Use a flashlight. That gives off light too, doesn't it?" Alec nodded at this and Magnus pat him gently. "You'll be okay, bud. It's just a storm. Remember that quote we saw a few days ago about the rain?"

"Always look for the sunshine after the rain," Alec whispered loudly. "Dr-drive safe, Magnus. Yeah? Drive home safe."

Magnus smiled as Alec pat him on the shoulder. "I will. See you on Monday, big guy. I have tomorrow off so I hope you have a good Sunday."

Alec nodded, watching Magnus leave, only moving when another flash of lightning lit up his apartment. He whimpered and grabbed a flashlight from the kitchen, flicking it on. He yelled as the flashlight rest on Xavier, who was standing in the entrance of the hallway, head cocked to the side. 

"Xavier! D-don't scare Alec. Not nice. No," Alec leaned down and pat his dog on the head as he passed by. "Come on. Go to bed now. Alec tired, okay?"

He stripped down to his boxers and slipped into bed. Xavier jumped up too and got in his usual spot at Alec's feet, resting his large head on Alec's knees. He loved sleeping with his boy and protecting him. But Xavier never fell asleep until he knew Alec was sleeping soundly. Only then did he close his eyes and go to sleep himself, always keeping his ears open for disturbances in Alec's heartbeat or breathing. He knew he wasn't trained to do this but he sensed Alec was different from other humans and needed a close eye and ear on him. He decided he would be that close eye and ears. 

"St-stay with Alec, Xavier. Alec.....scared. Yeah. Really scared," Alec held the flashlight close to him. It flickered once and he froze in fear, but it quickly came back on again. "Going to be a long n-night, Xavier. Very long night."

\----------

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

Ring. 

A phone was ringing somewhere off in the distance. Groggy with sleep, Magnus looked at his alarm. The clock read 3:18 am. Who the hell was calling him this late at night?

Not bothering to look at the caller ID, Magnus grabbed his cell from off his bedside table and answered (rather rudely but then again it was 3 am). "What do you want?" 

A tiny but deep voice answered him. "Magnus?"

Magnus sat up in bed once he realized who it was. "Alec? What's wrong?"

Alec sniffed. He'd been crying. Or is crying. "Scared. Can't sleep. Too dark in Alec's room and batteries died."

"Well turn on a light and find some batteries," Magnus yawned. 

"P-power is out. No light."

Damn it. "I'm coming over, okay? Stay where you are. I'll bring batteries with me. Just don't move or plug anything in. I'm on my way."

Putting on a shirt and pants, Magnus ran outside and climbed into his car. A flash of lightning lit up the sky overhead. To him, it looked beautiful. Powerful. To Alec, it was probably his worst nightmare. Something straight out of his worst fears. 

The drive to Alec's apartment seemed to only take five minutes. The rain was coming down harder now than it was earlier as he got out and fumbled to get the front door opened with a wet key. Once the door was unlocked, he went inside. Xavier was at the door and immediately began to snarl and bark; this bark was different from his happy bark. This one sounded like "who the fuck are you and what are you doing in my house?!"

"It's just me! It's just me, boy," Magnus knelt down and let Xavier sniff him just to double check. The dog immediately calmed down and wagged his stump tail in excitement. He trotted off in the direction Alec's bedroom, leading Magnus through the dark.

Poor Alec. When Magnus shone the flashlight in the room, he was sat up straight in bed and clutching Dory to his chest. Even in the dark and with little light there was, Magnus could see that Alec was trembling in fear. 

"Alec? It's me. Let there be light,"  
Magnus chuckled, wiggling his flashlight back and forth. Alec didn't crack a smile. "Are you okay? I got here as fast as I could."

Magnus sat on the bed next to Alec, who didn't budge an inch from his spot. He trembled again when a rumble of thunder roared above the apartment. Xavier, resting at the foot of the bed, whined and put a paw on Alec's lap. 

"Hey. It's okay. There's nothing to be scared of. I'm here now," Magnus whispered in a soft voice. "Look. Your stars are glowing."

Desparate to take his mind off the storm, Alec looked up at his ceiling. His glow in the dark stars were glowing with a bright green above their heads. Just by looking at them, he felt his nerves calm down a little bit. Or maybe it was how close Magnus was to him that was calming to his nerves. Not the stars. 

They were quiet for what felt like an eternity, just listening to the thunder and watching the lightning light up the room. Xavier was fast asleep at the bottom of the bed, snoring soundly and twitching as he dreamed of nice doggy things. He could sleep before Alec now. Magnus was here to watch his boy. 

"Alec sorry for calling Magnus so-so late. The lightning-" Alec flinched as lightning flashed again, letting out a low whine and clutching Dory to his chest again. 

"I get it. You were scared. Everyone gets scared. Even I do," Magnus said. "I got scared when you called. Thought for sure something happened. Like you were hurt....."

Alec blinked, staring at Magnus in the darkness. He couldn't really see him. Just his silhouette. But he could feel how close Magnus was to him and how warm he felt. They sat practically shoulder to shoulder, and if they got any closer Alec could almost-

"That storm really is something. I've never seen a lightning storm quite like this. Just in the summertime." Magnus turned his head to face the window, watching a streak of lightning race across the night sky. "I remember one summer when I was a-"

Alec leaned forward and pressed his lips to Magnus' ever so gently, pecking a small kiss on his lips. He'd seen Simon do it to Isabelle lots of times. Same with Jace and Clary. Isabelle always smiled and kissed him back. 

But Magnus didn't do that. 

Stunned, Magnus pulled away and stared at Alec. The light from his flashlight sat between them, illuminating Alec's face enough for Magnus to see that he was just as stunned. Letting out a sharp breath, Magnus croaked, "Alec? What was that?"

Alec shuddered. "Alec sorry. So sorry, Magnus. Alec didn't m-mean to do that."

Magnus shook his head. "Don't be."

It was Magnus who leaned forward this time and pressed his lips against Alec's. There were no fireworks or angels singing or visions of the future when they kissed. It was just their lips and the lightning around them. 

Magnus could feel his body starting to heat up the longer they kissed. He was quite surprised when Alec felt his body with his hands, squeezing Magnus' hips and groaning as Magnus accidentally grinded against him. Magnus could feel an all too familiar yet human reaction rub up against his stomach. 

Unconsciously, Alec moved his hands up to hold Magnus' face. He wasn't exactly sure what he was doing. Or what he was supposed to be doing. He was just copying what he'd seen Isabelle and Jace do. Magnus didn't seem to mind. 

Magnus didn't even care. Alec had an incredible mouth; his lips tasted like strawberry yogurt and toothpaste. The combination didn't sound pleasant but it certainly felt pleasant the longer Magnus moved his lips with Alec's. Alec had an incredible mouth. Plump, pink lips that he noticed Alec licking sometimes that made Magnus want to lick them himself, but quickly rid himself of the thoughts before they made matters worse. 

Alec moaned softly as he felt Magnus' breath hitch. He didn't think kisses were like this. Not from what he's seen growing up. Kisses were supposed to soft and sweet. Like freshly baked cookies. These kisses were getting rough and messy. He wasn't sure if he liked it or not; his body was so confused. 

"Alec," Magnus groaned. He pulled away from the kiss and looked down at the space between them on the bed. "We can't be doing this."

"Wh-why?" Alec whimpered. His lower lip hurt from where Magnus was sucking on it. 

Magnus groaned. "This isn't professional. I can't....this can't be happening right now. I made a promise to myself to not get involved like this. Ever. Not with anybody. Especially with you."

Alec looked down at Magnus' lips again, wanting more. "Magnus is Alec's first kiss."

Magnus exhaled sharply. "I know."

"Then let Alec enjoy it. Let me enjoy it."

Magnus said nothing as he let Alec pull him in again, their lips pressed together just as another flash of lightning lit up the room, and nothing but the silhouettes of their kiss could be seen up on the wall.


	15. Fifteen

The thing about falling in love when you're not supposed to is that it's often the sweetest kind of love there is. The risk of getting caught is like a drug; it becomes addicting. 

See, drugs are tricky. Depending on the type of drug, the after effects vary. Some leave you on a high. Others make you hallucinate. None of them are good for you, but yet it's the addiction that keeps people coming back for more. 

That's how Magnus felt while he was kissing Alec. 

He lay in Alec's bed, wide awake, staring up at the ceiling while listening to the light rainfall tapping against the bedroom window. The power had come back on shortly after they.....kissed. The clock read 7:38. Alec had finally fallen asleep over an hour ago, Dory tucked under chin and sound asleep on his stomach. Xavier was at the end of the bed. He had sat up to yawn and scratch his ear. Now he was just staring at Magnus. 

"What are you looking at?" Magnus whispered. The dog groaned and finally placed his head on what looked like Alec's leg, closing his eyes and going back to sleep. Weird dog. 

He couldn't exactly leave Alec alone now that Alec knew he was there. He thought about it. Just getting up and sneaking out the front door and going home, but that would upset Alec. Plus it'd be kind of like a one night stand, and Magnus couldn't do that to poor Alec (who probably didn't even know what that was, as innocent as he is). 

So he laid on his back and stared up on the ceiling. The stars had lost a little of their greenish glow, unlike earlier when they glowed so bright that it was almost like looking at actual stars. Magnus wondered if Alec ever saw the stars before. Living in New York didn't exactly mean you had a fantastic free light show every night in the sky. The city was too bright to see the stars up above. He'd have to take Alec out sometime to go stargazing. 

Alec stirred beside him. Looking to his right, Magnus watched as Alec stretched and yawned loudly, turning over on his back. Dory remained by his pillow untouched. Now he was facing the ceiling and snoring softly, his hair a complete mess. 

"Oh, Alexander." Magnus reached over and slowly but gently moved Alec's fringe from his forehead. "If you only knew how I truly felt about you....things would be much different between us. But I promised yourself and your mother to keep things professional. Bet you didn't know that, did you?"

Maryse had called the night before the Halloween party. Alec had just went into his room for a nap when his cell rang. Shocked to see her name on the caller ID, he hesitantly answered. 

"Is Alec with you?" She asked. 

"Yeah. He just went down for a nap. He had a headache and took a painkiller. They work unusually fast on him, don't they?" He asked in a low voice. 

"They always did. Give him cough medicine and his cold would go away within the hour. The only downside to that is he gets sick three times as quick as a person without autism. We think it's an immune system thing," she said, matter of factly. "But that's not why I'm calling. There's something I need to ask you."

Her tone sounded very apprehensive, so Magnus took a seat on his couch. "Okay. I'm listening."

She took a deep breath. "I trust you'll keep things professional between you and my son?"

"And by that you mean.....?"

"No....funny business. Like making a move on him."

Magnus snorted. "And what if he makes a move on me? What do I do? Tell him that his mom said no, he's not allowed?"

Maryse scoffed. "Magnus, you have to understand something. Robert and I haven't exactly had a talk with Alec about relationships or love. I doubt he even truly understands it."

"But he does know where babies come from, right?"

"He knows about sex, Magnus. We had that talk with him when he was 18-"

"18?! Why so late?"

She was quiet for a moment. "He didn't learn how to really speak until he was 16. We couldn't exactly sign out how babies are made to him. That would've been awkward on all of us."

Magnus shrugged. She had a point there. "But still. He's a lot smarter than you give him credit for. Have you even asked him if he was interested in a relationship?"

"No," Maryse answered. "And I don't plan on to either. If he's interested, he'll come to me or his father about it. Like he always has."

Magnus fought the urge to snort again. "So you called me just to say don't try anything on your son?"

"I know your history, Mr. Bane. My husband owns an investigative branch alongside of his thriving business. He did some snooping. Your history is quite colorful."

"Uh.....thanks? I guess?" Magnus made a wtf face, thankful she couldn't see it. "And what exactly is colorful, may I ask?"

"Your dating history, for starters-"

"Hold on. You have a record of my dating history? I'm pretty sure that's an invasion of privacy here or something. It has to be."

Maryse sighed. "It says you're bisexual. You've dated both and women in the past, have you not?"

"That's generally what bisexuality is." He paused for a moment, realizing what she was implying. "You really think I'm going to try something on your son, don't you? Like make him gay."

"I didn't say that-"

"No but the implication was there. You didn't even have to say it. I knew." He half scoffed and chuckled. "Unbelievable. I know how to maintain professional relationships, believe it or not. I don't date coworkers. Or date the people I'm helping take care of for that matter. So you don't have to worry about me converting your son to homosexuality. You're good there."

Maryse said nothing for a minute. Magnus had thought she hung up on him, but she spoke up again. "Maintain that professionalism, Magnus. Or you'll find yourself without a job. You won't be able to go near my son or speak to him ever again. You'll be cut off completely."

The line suddenly went dead as Magnus stared at his phone in shock. What the hell just happened? Did Maryse just threaten him? He was certain that was a threat of some kind. And because he was so scared out of his wits, he was going to do exactly what she told him. 

Well......sort of. She didn't say anything about if Alec made an advance on him. There's always a loophole somewhere.

Alec groaned and stretched again. This time he actually cracked open his eyes a little and looked around the room in confusion. He turned his head and Magnus, and the confusion went away. 

"Magnus. Hiiii," he smiled softly. His voice was heavy with sleep, making it sound deeper than usual. It made the hairs on Magnus' arms stand up. "Magnus stayed with Alec? All night?"

"All night. You fell asleep shortly after we....." Magnus cleared his throat. "Alec, what exactly do you remember about last night?"

Alec squinted as he tried to remember. "Alec remember....power went out. Got scared. Called Magnus and Magnus came with batteries."

Magnus waited. "Anything else? Like do you remember anything after that?"

"N-no. Not really. Alec fell asleep, yeah? That's all."

He didn't remember the kiss. Magnus wasn't sure whether or not to be relieved or disappointed. Part of him wanted to remind Alec of what they did last night and the other part wanted him to keep his mouth shut if he wanted to keep this job. "That's right. You fell asleep through the storm. We watched the lightning together and you eventually fell asleep."

Xavier made a noise at the bottom of the bed that sounded oddly like a chuckle. Magnus poked him with his foot, causing the dog to open one eye and raise a brown spotted eyebrow as if to say 'try that again and we'll see what happens next'. 

"And Magnus stayed. Thank you. For com-coming over. Alec grateful," Alec said, smiling. He was happy that Magnus was still here when he woke up. He heard that some people don't stay the entire night and they leave without their friend knowing. That would've hurt Alec's feeling if Magnus left him like that. "What time is it?"

Magnus checked the clock again. "It's going for 8 o'clock. You still tired?"

Alec yawned and ran a hand over his face. He could feel stubble on his jaw and chin. "A l-little. Not much. Magnus tired still?"

"I don't really sleep. Not much, anyway." Which was true for the most part. He'd catch some winks here and there but the last time Magnus had a good night's sleep was forever ago. "Want some breakfast? I can make us some eggs and bacon."

At the sound of eggs and bacon, Alec shot up out of bed. "No. Alec take Magnus to diner, okay? N-nice diner. Good breakfast. Alec's treat."

Magnus' eyes roamed down over Alec's body, unconsciously. The hazel eyed Bambi must've worked out; his body was well muscled in all the right places. As he pulled on a shirt over his head, Magnus swallowed as Alec's back muscles moved fluidly under his skin. His fingers ached. He wanted to touch Alec so bad. He wanted nothing more than to ask for consent and just explore this beautiful man's body with his hands and mouth. 

"Oh. Alec forgot he was in boxers. Sorry," Alec giggled as his ears and cheeks flushed red. "Don't-don't look. Alec put on pants."

"I forgot you were in boxers too so don't feel bad," Magnus chuckled. That was a lie. He didn't forget. 

Fully clothed, Alec strode over to the full length mirror that Magnus didn't even realize was there and combed his fingers through his hair. It stood up in every direction and regardless of how many times Alec tried to flatten it, it sprung right back up again. Eventually he shrugged and gave up.

"Where exactly is this diner of yours?" Magnus asked as he got out of bed and worked out the cricks in his neck. 

"N-not Alec's diner. Just....." Alec pointed in a general direction. "There. Not far. No. Short walk."

He shuffled into the bathroom with Magnus close behind. When he grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste, he groaned as Magnus stood in front of the toilet and peed. 

"What?" Magnus shook his head. "We have the same parts, Alexander. Plus I really had to go."

"But Mag-Magnus couldn't wait? Alec brush teeth first. Pee later," Alec shoved the toothbrush into his mouth and began to brush away, a scowl on his face. 

Magnus shrugged. He didn't care. He had to go so he went. After he flushed the toilet, he quickly washed his hands with the lavender scented soap (which was heavenly, by the way) and went into the kitchen. Xavier waited by his doggy dish, which was empty. 

"Let's get you some breakfast, huh big brute? Let's see...." Magnus opened the pantry door and scooped out some dog food from the giant bag of kibble. Xavier shook with excitement and barked in approval. 

"Why-why is Xavier barking, Magnus? Something wrong?" Alec came out of the bathroom with his ears covered. "Breakfast. Alec should've-should've known," he giggled and tapped his forehead. "Go now, okay Magnus? Before crowd."

"Right. Good thinking. You all ready?" Alec nodded at him as he picked up his keys and slipped on his shoes. He was so ashamed of himself right now. He had slipped on an old pair of crocs when he was in a hurry to get to Alec's last night. Bright green crocs. The abomination of footwear. "You're not embarrassed by my shoes, are you?"

Alec looked at Magnus' shoes. They were bright. Really bright. Not to mention that there were a lot of holes in them. "No. As long as-as Magnus comfy. Magnus comfy?"

Surprisingly, yes. The shoes may be ugly but they were very nice on the soles of his feet. "I am. Thanks for asking. Are you comfy?"

Alec pat his stomach in response. "Alec will be wh-when he gets food in his tummy. Hurry Magnus. So slow."

\----------

The diner was, as Alec literally pointed out, in the direction he was pointing in. It was a quiet diner at the corner of Alec's street, the mind Magnus knew his father would've loved. It even had a jukebox in the corner that was playing soft blues when they walked in. 

Alec chose a booth in the back next to the jukebox. This was his favorite spot in the whole diner. He didn't mind having to squeeze his tall, lanky frame into the small booth. That was nothing. The music was the loudest and it drowned out the traffic roaring past outside. 

"Morning, gentlemen. How'd you make out last night?" The waitress said with a smile. 

Magnus nearly choked on air as she spoke. "What?!"

She gave him an odd look. "The storm? How did you find it?"

Oh. That's what she meant. "Good. We were okay. Weren't we, Alec?"

Alec wasn't paying attention. He was happily looking through the menu while humming along with the song that was playing on the jukebox. Waffles and bacon sounded very appealing right about now....

"He's off in his own little world right now," Magnus smiled at the waitress. "I'll just have a coffee. Black."

The waitress nodded. "And for you?"

Alec lowered his menu and signed out his order. "I'll get the waffles special with a side of bacon. Whole wheat for the toast. Orange juice for the drink, please and thank you."

"Uh," the young waitress scratched her head with her pen. "I'm sorry. I don't know sign language."

"Waffle special with a side of bacon. Whole wheat for the toast. Orange juice to drink. Please and thank you," Magnus translated with a smile. He saw Alec lower his gaze to the table, a small smile on his lips. 

The waitress nodded. "One coffee and waffle special coming right up. Be back in a few."

When she walked away, Alec wiggled his fingers along the tabletop and giggled to himself. "Nice lady didn't kn-know sign language. Magnus translated, yeah?"

"That I did. But you could've told her what you wanted. Why didn't you speak up?"

Alec continued to wiggle his fingers. He felt restless today. "Didn't f-feel like it. Is Magnus angry with Alec?"

"No. I'm not angry-" Magnus paused when the waitress came back and a cup of coffee was placed in front him. "Thank you. And no, Alec. I'm not mad. I'm just...is everything okay today? You haven't stopped fidgeting since we got here."

Alec was aware of this. Try as he may, he couldn't will his body to sit still and enjoy his breakfast with Magnus. There was an itch in his arms that only came on when he was anxious or when someone was touching him. In this case, he was anxious. 

He lied to Magnus earlier when he was asked if he remembered what happened last night. He knew exactly what happened. Magnus came over with batteries like he said he would and sat in bed with him. He was about to say something when Alec remembered leaning in and kissing him. Not long after that, Magnus was kissing him. Then they were kissing each other. 

"Earth to Alexander. Are you okay? You're really starting to worry me..."

Alec snapped out of his daydream. He'd been inside his own head long enough for the nice lady to come back with his waffle special and orange juice. "Alec is okay. Magnus doesn't have-have to worry."

As he ate in silence, Magnus couldn't help but wonder what really going on in Alec's head. It was obvious that something was bothering him. Magnus just didn't know what. 

"How's everything over here? Can I get you anything else? More juice or coffee?"

Alec's hands fluttered and clenched into fists in front of him. Magnus quickly reached over and held one of them, squeezing reassuringly. "We're fine, thank you."

The waitress watched Alec closely as he groaned and clenched his eyes shut. "Is he okay? He's not...."

"He's fine. He just doesn't like when people ask more than one question in a row. It confuses him," Magnus squeezed Alec's hand again. This time, Alec squeezed back. His message got through to him. 

"Oh. Sorry...." Confused, the young woman finally left them alone and went back to the counter. 

Magnus turned to face Alec. "Alec. Focus on my voice. Breathe in through your nose. Out through your mouth."

Alec did as he was told. Eventually, his mind cleared and he didn't feel like there was an information overload in his head. "Sorry. So many quest-questions. Hurt Alec's head."

"It's okay. You're okay. You squeezed my hand just like I told you to do," Magnus smiled softly. "Can you finish your breakfast? We can take it to go if you'd like. Bring it back home with us."

Alec shook his head. "Alec is okay, Magnus. S-seriously. Waffles no good cold."

They finished their meal at the diner before Magnus placed a 20 on their table to cover both their bill and the tip. He knew Alec said it was his treat, but Alec wasn't in the right state of mind right now. The waitress apologized again for causing any trouble as they walked by the counter. 

"He's fine. Really. It's just one of those days. Don't worry about it. We all get them," Magnus said to her. "Have a nice day."

Outside, Alec had his ears covered as horns honked and traffic roared past them. He moaned pitifully. "Magnus. Go....go somewhere with no s-sound, yeah? No sound."

"I don't think there's any places like that in New York, Alec-"

"Swimming! No sound underwater. No. Go swimming? Bring Jace and Clary."

Magnus chuckled. "Bring Jace and Clary, huh? Is that what you want to do?" Alec nodded, hands still covering his ears. "Alright then. I guess we're going swimming."

\----------

The Lightwoods had money. This became very apparent when Magnus and Alec got to the pool and saw that the entire place was reserved just for them. Jace and Clary were already there, Clary sitting atop of Jace's shoulders and slam dunking a basketball into the net. 

"Score!" He yelled then tossed her off his back. She squealed and landed in the water. He laughed when she pushed his head underwater. "I give in! I'm sorry!"

"You better be! Jonathan Christopher Lightwood!" Clary wiped her red hair off her face and saw Magnus and Alec standing on the sidelines. "Oh! Hey guys! How long were you standing there?"

"Not long," Magnus shrugged. "Long enough to be witnesses of a murder if you held Jace under there for much longer."

"M-murder?" Alec looked horrified at this. "Clary try to kill Jace, yeah? Magnus?"

Magnus chuckled and shook his head. "No. She was just kidding around. Now get in the water, you silly goose. Clary's your instructor today."

"I most certainly am! We're doing the breaststroke today," Clary smiled. 

Alec giggled. "Br-breaststroke? Alec doesn't want to touch....." He pointed to Clary then his own chest. 

Jace roared with laughter. "Not that breaststroke! It's a swimming thing!"

Alec flushed. "Oh. Okay. S-sorry, Clary." 

Magnus smirked as Alec got into the water and shivered as he always did first. Alec had developed a routine with every swim lesson. Magnus would check for sharks before he'd get in and shiver for five minutes. Then he'd dunk his head under first before beginning the lesson. 

"So while they're doing the breaststroke, I'm gonna sit here and have a chat with you," Jace jumped up and sat on the side of the pool with Magnus. "I know we haven't really spoke to each other the past few weeks. That's partially my fault. I've been avoiding you."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "May I ask why? You don't like me or something?"

"Oh I like you just fine. I just don't know what to say when we're alone together." Jace pushed his wet blonde hair back from his face. "How's he doing? My brother, I mean. I don't ever ask him about his time with you. He doesn't really open up about that kind of stuff."

"He's good. He's doing a lot better. He can touch a glass that someone else was holding now."

Jace's eyes widened in surprise. "Seriously? That's impressive. I'd like to see that for myself one day. Anything else?"

Magnus almost said "well we made out in the dark last night but that's a different story entirely" but he bit his tongue. "Nope. That's it. His swimming's gotten better, but that's about it."

Jace watched as Alec gently splashed Clary and groaned as she belly flopped in front of him, a wave of water hitting him in the face. His scowl was quickly replaced by a smile as he tried it too. "I love Alec. From the moment the Lightwoods took me in, I had nothing but love for him. It's impossible not to love him, you know?"

Magnus nodded. "I know. He's just one of those kinds of people that you just simply can't hate."

Jace made small circles in the water with his hand. "I've done a lot of shit protecting him growing up. Elementary school, the kids used to call him....the R word, if you get what I mean. Push him around. He wasn't social at all back then. He'd stick beside me and Izzy all day, not saying a single word. He couldn't. He didn't know how to speak. He understood but he couldn't communicate back. It was fucking terrible, what the other kids used to do to him."

Magnus closed his eyes as he tried to imagine a 10 year old Alec being pushed around by the other kids at school. He pictured a small and skinny boy with raven black hair and bright hazel eyes, gripping an old teddy bear as the kids taunted him and pushed him to the ground. He swallowed and shook his head to get rid of the imagery. 

"Middle school was even worse. Puberty and all. He shot up 5 inches over the summer and we couldn't even tell if his voice was changing because he didn't speak. I'm telling you," Jace lowered his voice to a whisper, "kids are brutal. They're relentless. They damn near broke Alec to the point no one would ever be able to fix him."

Magnus glanced over at Alec. The hazel eyed Bambi was floating on his back like a starfish, arms and legs stretched out as he let Clary gently glide him around him the water. "Alec's stronger than you give him credit for. I've seen it myself. He's like a suit of armor."

Jace sniffed, rubbing his nose. "Yeah, well.....we all have cracks in our armor. It's just that he takes his off when he's confronted by the enemy. He thinks he deserves what he went through. What he's still going through."

Heart now beating in his throat, Magnus felt as if he'd been stabbed several times and was now bleeding out into the pool. "Had he talked to you about this? Because he hasn't said a word of this to me."

Jace shook his head. "No. He doesn't have to. I can see it plain as day. It's written all over his face." He jumped back into the water. "If something's bothering him, he won't come to you right away about it. Give him time. He's sensitive. Thinks his problems will just make things worse for other people."

"That's a terrible outlook on life."

"That's Alec. He cares so much about other people, regardless if he truly understands their situation or not. His heart is huge. Always has been," Jace half smiled as he looked up at Magnus. "Look....if you have feelings for him, I wouldn't hold it against you. Alec deserves to be happy and so do you. But if you plan on making a move, do it now. And if you do decide to make a move....don't break his heart. He's not Humpty Dumpty. Once he's broken, no one can put him back together again."

Alec's voice rang out, breaking up the conversation. "M-Magnus! Look! Alec is a starfish!" He giggled as Clary continued to pull him through the water by the hand. He waved, flapping his fingers as they floated by. 

"You're doing amazing, Alec! Keep it up!" Magnus gave him the thumbs up before looking back at Jace. "I don't have feelings for your brother. And he doesn't have feelings for me."

Jace smirked, his two different color eyes glinting under the lights of the pool. "Whatever you say, Magnus. Whatever you say."


	16. Sixteen

Thanksgiving in the Bane household was anything but pleasant. As the years went on, Magnus found his mom getting more and more lazy with her once famous turkey dinner. Her cranberry sauce used to be the talk of the neighbourhood. Her mashed garlic potatoes were legendary, even after the holiday was over. Her pumpkin spice pie was his absolute favorite thing in the world. 

Now he doesn't even get that. 

She went from exquisite dinners to tv dinners in a matter of 7 years. Magnus doubted they were even going to go that far this year. They'll probably just sit around the tv and watch some old movie while his mother smoked and got high. He even tried asking her if she could cook something. A lot of good that did him. 

"Mom, it's just one dinner. That's all I'm asking-"

"I haven't cooked in years, Maggy. I lost my touch."

"That's a damn lie and you know it. You're just lazy and won't get off your chain smoking ass and do something with yourself." He hadn't meant this in a mean way, but that's how his mother perceived it. 

She slapped him. Hard. "How dare you speak to me that way?! I'm your mother! I raised you! Changed your shitty diapers and brought you to school! I sacrificed everything for you!"

His face throbbed where she hit him, but he wasn't going to give her the benefit of the pain. "Just like you sacrificed everything for Rosalie?"

His mother's breath faltered. "I did everything I could for your sister, Maggy."

"Stop right there. You gambled away her hospital money, mom. Her medication. That could've saved her life but oh no. You had to go play the machines like you always do!"

"That money belonged to your father-"

"Right. Which he left for his daughter to pay for her medicine after he died. That was his life's savings. You stole it and blew it all on the slots."

His mother began to sob then, even falling to her knees for added effect. "Oh, Magnus. Please forgive me. I know I haven't exactly been the greatest mom since your dad passed away....and even after your sister died I haven't been there for you either."

He almost felt bad for her but the feeling passed as quickly as it came. "I'm leaving now. I have work in a half hour. Rent money is in the envelope on the table. Don't ask me for money again because I won't be helping you again."

He slammed the door in her face before she could say anything else.

As usual, the office was abuzz with the latest gossip that came from God knows where. Magnus didn't really care for it. He just wanted to do his job and get the hell out of there as quick as he could. 

"Hey Magnus. I heard you finally got to put your nursing skills to the test," one of his coworkers, Ragnor, said to him in the break room. 

"Mmhm," Magnus nodded. Going into details only meant feeding the fire. 

"It's the Lightwood boy, isn't it? Not the youngest one. The oldest."

Magnus froze by the coffeemaker, wondering where Ragnor was going to go from there. 

Another coworker spoke up. A woman by the name of Aline. "I know him. He's friends with my wife's family. He's such a sweet guy. Quiet but such a sweetheart."

"What does he have again? He's not one of those people who ride the short bus, is he?" Ragnor snorted into his mug. 

Magnus couldn't take this any longer. He whirled around to face Ragnor. "He's not 'one of those people' as you so put it. He can't ride the bus. Or the subway for that matter. I mean, he could try but he has chronic anxiety. Crowds terrify him." He was getting to walk away when his rage took a turn. "And just so we're clear here, he has autism and he's a hell of a lot fucking smarter than ten of you combined."

Ragnor never spoke a word to him for the rest of the week. 

Thanksgiving was fast approaching. The closer it got, the more Magnus just wanted to go home and sleep until the holiday was over. But everywhere he went he was reminded that turkey day was close. Signs on stores. The billboards in the city. There was even a statue of a turkey in someone's window. There was no escaping the great turkey. 

"Hello, Lightwoods!" He sang out as he stepped into Alec's home. Xavier trotted over to greet him with slobbery kisses but no one else came to the door. "Hello? Alec? Isabelle? Your car is out front so I know you're here."

"In the bathroom!" A voice sang out. Probably Isabelle. 

Magnus found both siblings in the bathroom, giggling and talking quietly. Alec was shaving when Magnus stepped in, and his face lit up with a smile. "Magnus! Hiiiii."

"Hi," Magnus grinned. "What's this, a party in the bathroom?"

"You wish. Alec's shaving and I'm giving him a haircut. That's about as fun as it's gonna get in here," Isabelle snorted. She was seated on top of the toilet cover, eating a sandwich. "Wanna join us? I could give you a trim after I get him finished."

Magnus raised a hand. "I'm good. I like my hair the way it is."

"Alec like Magnus' hair," Alec commented. "Ow. Cut neck."

Isabelle handed him a tissue. "I told you before. No talking while shaving. You'll cut open your jugular."

"Jugular. S-sorry, Izzy." Alec held his breath as he made another stroke with the razor. "Alec grows stubble fast, right Iz?"

"Righty-o, big bro. Your 5 o'clock shadow comes out at 3," she smirked halfway through a bite of sandwich. "So what kind of haircut would you like today?"

Alec, finally finished with shaving, smirked as he wiped the remainder of the shaving cream off his face. "Mohawk."

"A mohawk?" Magnus laughed. "Feeling badass today, Alec?"

Alec put a finger to his lips and giggled. "Magnus said bad word. Swear jar."

"Ass is not a bad word," Isabelle retorted. 

"S-swear jar," Alec grumbled. 

"Whatever," Isabelle sighed. The last bite of sandwich was long gone. Now she was snipping the scissors like Edward Scissorhands. "You ready, muscles?"

Alec nodded. "Re-ready. Magnus stay, yeah? Stay and watch?"

Magnus looked at Isabelle, who nodded. "Of course. Wouldn't miss this for the world."

Watching Alec get a haircut was....interesting, for the lack of a better word. Isabelle sat her brother down in a chair and draped a towel over his shoulders. He squirmed, almost looking excited for a haircut, but Izzy placed a gentle hand on his shoulder to keep him still. 

But that wasn't the interesting part. When Isabelle used the spray bottle on his hair to make it wet, she also ran her fingers through it, causing Alec to groan and tilt his head back in enjoyment. She continued to massage his scalp until he looked completely relaxed in his chair, and only then did she begin to cut his hair. 

"The trick here....." She said as she made a snip. "Is to make sure he's relaxed. When he's relaxed, he doesn't squirm. I can do my job without fuss or tantrums."

"Did he....you know. Have tantrums before?" Magnus asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

Isabelle glanced up at him. "Yes. When he was a kid. Couldn't even come near him with the electric razor or a pair of scissors without him screaming and throwing a fit. Our parents had no idea what to do."

Magnus looked at Alec's calm expression. He could hear a low hum coming from Alec's throat. "How did you eventually get him to calm down?"

Isabelle scoffed. "It took a while to figure it out. One day the hairdresser just started rubbing the back of his head and he...." She indicated to her very relaxed older brother with a hand. "Went limp pretty much. Mind you, he still gets nervous with the electric razor but other than that he's a prince."

Alec groaned again when Isabelle rubbed his scalp. "Izzy....that feel good for Alec. Keep....keep g-going, yes?"

She smiled and nodded. "Almost done, okay? Then I have to use the electric razor for a second."

Alec moaned softly but nodded as Isabelle made her final snip. The look of fear was evident on his face when she opened the small cupboard under the sink and took out the razor. He moaned again and his hands fluttered on his lap. 

"Remember the rules? Cover your ears and hum your favorite Beatles song," Isabelle smiled as she plugged in the razor and turned it on. "Strawberry Fields, Alec. Strawberry Fields."

Alec covered his ears and began to hum as Isabelle shaved just below his hairline on the back of his neck. His eyes were shut tight as he hummed the all too familiar Beatles song. Magnus used to listen to it as a kid. 

"All done! Good job, big guy. I'm so proud of you," Isabelle kissed her brother's cheek and smiled. "I think someone deserves a celebratory treat for being so dang brave, huh?"

At the mention of a treat, Alec perked up. "Treat? F-for Alec? What is the treat?"

Magnus smirked. "I'll decide, seeing how I saw how brave you were today. How does Kraft dinner sound?"

Alec clapped his hands. "Yes! Sound very-very good. Izzy stay for dinner? Please?"

"I would but I have a date with Simon tonight. Eat a bowl for me, okay?" Isabelle swept up the hair on the floor with a broom before making her way into the kitchen to grab her jacket. "Oh and Magnus? Can I talk to you for a second?"

Magnus nodded. "Sure. What is it?"

Alec groaned from the kitchen. "Don't wh-whisper near Alec, please."

"Sorry bro," Isabelle took Magnus by the sleeve and led him away from Alec's earshot. "Keep an eye on Alec for me, will you?"

"Don't I always?" Magnus asked. 

"I know. But keep a closer eye on him. He's been acting funny ever since that day at the pool with Jace and Clary-" She paused, her face in deep concentration. "Did Jace say something to offend him or something? Because if he did-"

"No. It wasn't Jace," Magnus grumbled, answering a bit too quickly. 

Isabelle made a face. "You know what's bothering my brother, don't you? It's bothering you too."

"It's not-"

"Oh my god. You guys kissed, didn't you? You kissed Alec!"

Magnus rubbed his neck. "Actually, he kissed me if that makes you feel any better."

Isabelle laughed. "Oh ho ho. Damn, Alec. He made the first move? Didn't see that one coming. How was it?"

Magnus snorted. "Seriously, Isabelle? You're asking me how it was?"

"Well yeah. You're his first kiss. He doesn't exactly have liplock experience. Of course I want to know. It'll help me decide whether or not you're good enough for my brother."

Of course Alec wouldn't have any kissing experience. That much he knew. He couldn't help but think about Alec's lips faltering and trying to figure out what to do next. It was endearing. "He was....decent, for his first time. No complaints from me."

Isabelle squinted up at him. She looked very much like her brother when he was confused except she wasn't. This was her condescending face. "Look. I don't know if Jace already had a talk with you or not so I'll just come right out and say it anyway. If you hurt Alec, I'll hurt you. Long story short."

"Copy that," Magnus looked down at the floor. "But I would never hurt Alec. I'd rather die before I hurt him."

"That can be arranged," Isabelle scowled. She was absolutely terrifying when she was in protective sister mode. "All I'm saying is that you best not hurt my brother. I've grown up with Alec. I've been around him much longer than Jace has. I know him better. He's not going to recover if you were to hurt him in some way, shape or form."

Magnus crossed his arms over his chest. "You know, it's funny. People tell me all the time that Alec is sensitive which yes, I agree with. But he's not fragile. I know he isn't. He's a lot stronger than people think he is and it upsets me that they make the assumption that once he's broken, then that's it. End of Alec. He's a grown man, Isabelle. I know in his case that it's hard to believe and you probably don't want to believe it but it's true. He's 23 years old. He's an adult with adult feelings. Sure, he might not truly understand what he's feeling but he's a person with feelings too like the rest of us. You just have to be more patient with him."

He was breathing hard when he finished talking. He could feel his pulse beating fast in every part of his body and his skin felt like it was on fire. As he stared at the Lightwood girl, Isabelle was looking back at him with an unreadable expression on her face. What was she thinking? Was she getting ready to bash his head into the wall? Alec wouldn't appreciate that. Blood all over the floor. He'd more than likely complain about the mess they made rather than Magnus' unconscious or dead body on his apartment floor. 

"I realize what you're saying. But what kind of sister would I be if I didn't want to protect my brother?" She whispered. 

Magnus leaned in. He was significantly taller than Isabelle. "And I respect that. I was the same way with my own sister. But sometimes you can't protect the ones you love from everything. You just have to let them go their own way."

A giggle from the kitchen made Isabelle look over Magnus' shoulder. Alec was rubbing Xavier's stomach with his bare feet. The Rottweiler's tongue lolled out happily as he groaned in content as he was getting his tummy rubbed. 

"He's my brother," Isabelle whispered. 

"I know," Magnus nodded. 

"I'd do anything for him. And you love him," she sighed. "Don't you?"

Magnus said nothing as he opened the front door for her. "Enjoy your date with Simon, Isabelle. Alec is in good hands. He always will be."

She nodded but didn't seem too sure about that. "If you plan on going any further, ask if that's what he wants to do. It's hard to tell with him sometimes."

Magnus bowed his head. "Of course. I have nothing but respect for your brother."

\----------

While Alec ate his mac and cheese, Magnus flipped through the newspaper and casually sipped his coffee. The news was the same old stuff; a political scandal. A celebrity divorce. Stock market going to hell. He wasn't even sure why he wasted money on the paper when he could look all of this up online. 

"Magnus? Alec has something to say," Alec spoke up out of the blue. He had pushed his now empty bowl away from him and looked ready to have a deep conversation. 

Magnus folded up the paper. "I'm listening. What do you want to say?"

Alec squinted and clenched his hands into fists, trying to figure out the proper way to word what he was thinking. "Alec lied th-the other day."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "About what?"

A low groan escaped Alec's throat. "Magnus asked if Alec remem-remember anything about the night of the storm. Alec said no. Th-that was a lie."

Oh crap, Magnus thought to himself. He knew where this was headed. "So if that was a lie, then what's the truth?"

Alec took a deep but shuddery breath. "Alec remembers the kiss. The way Magnus moved against Alec."

Uncomfortable, Magnus shifted in his seat. "So why did you say no when I asked you if you remembered anything else?"

Alec's hands were now fluttering on the table. He was getting frustrated. "Be-because Alec was scared, okay? This new to Alec. All of it. Alec not exactly....what's word? Desirable."

Magnus nearly laughed at this but Alec would've taken it the wrong way. If he only knew. "Desirable? You're very desirable. I see lots of girls and women checking you out. Guys too. I mean, you're very good looking-"

"Alec doesn't like girls."

"-wait, what?" Magnus paused. He was unsure if he heard Alec right. "What did you just say?"

"Alec said he doesn't like girls. No-no interest in them."

Alec was rubbing at his neck furiously, obviously nervous about where this conversation was headed. Magnus was as well. "So...you like men?"

Alec nodded. "Yeah. Never-never did like women. Alec try to but no. Women pretty but Alec doesn't like them." He gripped his fingers and squeezed, the tips turning red. "Alec.....want to date a man. Is okay, yeah?"

Magnus raised his hands in surrender. "You can whoever you want. I'm not going to stop you from achieving happiness."

"Alec want to date Magnus."

And there it was. The moment Magnus had been waiting for since day one. The words he'd been wanting to hear since he first laid eyes on the hazel eyed Bambi. Now that he was finally hearing them for the first time, he almost wanted to cry; not of happiness but of pain and sadness. His conversation he had with Maryse echoed in his mind and he nearly punched the wall beside him in anger. "Alec....I can't date you."

Alec cocked his head. "Why-why not? Alec not good enough for Magnus?" He groaned. "Oh. Magnus like women. Not men."

"It's not that. Trust me. You're more than enough. And the lord knows I love both men and women. But it's me that's not good enough for you," Magnus sighed heavily. "I just can't date you. There's no point in explaining it-"

"Alec not stupid, Magnus. Alec autistic. But not stupid."

Magnus looked up to see Alec staring right at him, eyes cold with anger. "I never said you were stupid. It's hard to explain. And if I tried, it would only upset the both of us."

This seemed to agitate Alec even more. "Alec doesn't-doesn't understand why it such a big deal. Alec just-" He hiccuped. "Alec just want to be happy like Jace and Izzy. Why can't Alec be happy?"

"Alexander-"

"No! It's not-it's not fair! Alec see everyone around him be happy and want to be too! But e-every time he try, it get taken from him!" A vein in his neck bulged as he yelled. Alec never yelled. "Alec just want to be normal l-like everyone else! It not fair! Everything Alec does is never good enough f-for anyone! Why?! Why can't Alec be treated like everyone else! I'm a grown man!"

Magnus jumped to his feet when Alec was about to start hitting himself on the forehead with his empty bowl, quickly grabbing it before he could do any serious damage to himself. "Alec! Don't do this to yourself, okay? Don't hurt yourself. I'd hate to see you get hurt because of me."

Alec scowled. "F-fuck you, Magnus. W-why does Magnus even care?"

The blood drained from Magnus' face as Alec stormed past him and went to his room, the door slamming behind him. His legs had gone so numb that he sunk to the floor. No words could even begin to describe how he felt right now and he could only imagine how Alec was feeling. 

Xavier sat beside him on the floor, gently licking his ear as if to say 'hey it's okay. You won't feel this way forever' but Magnus felt as if he was going to feel this way forever. He just broke one of the most pure people in the world and probably had zero chance of making amends. If word of this got around to the Lightwood siblings, there would be hell to pay. 

Isabelle was really going to kill him now.


	17. Seventeen

When Alec slammed the door behind him, he immediately regret doing so. One of the windchimes that was hanging from his ceiling fell and hit the floor with a crash, the tiny glass ornaments shattering into a hundred pieces across his bedroom floor. It was one of his favorite chimes too. It had little seagulls on it. He had gotten it from Portland when his family went west for a vacation years ago. 

After cleaning it up (being extra careful not to cut himself with the shards) he stretched out on his bed and opened his tumblr. He had discovered tumblr two years ago when he saw Isabelle using it to look up designs for a dress she'd been wanting to make, and he was in love with it ever since. He followed mostly photography, art and music blogs, occasionally posting his own photos of the city or piano covers he recorded and played himself. It was very calming; just scrolling through people's posts, admiring their work and sending them nice comments. There were a lot of talented people out there who deserved a lot of recognition for their work. So why not join and give them that credit?

He scrolled through his blog to try and get his mind of the argument with Magnus. Turns out, there aren't enough photos of the forest or glaciers or any other beautiful scenery to divert his focus and attention. Not even music could do the trick and music nearly always did the trick. 

Tossing his iPad to the side, Alec breathed heavily through his nose. He was unsure how to really feel right now. Sad? Sure. He had reason to. Angry? Absolutely. He was very angry. Heartsick? If he even knew what the true meaning of the word was, then sure. He'd feel that way too. Confused? Probably what he felt the most more than anything. His nerves were on fire and on overdrive the more he thought about what just happened in the kitchen. He needed a distraction. But there was no point in trying to find a distraction if it wasn't going to work.

Xavier was out in the hallway scratching at the door and trying to get in. Alec could hear his whines and cries and the nails of his paws scraping against the wood of the door. He didn't dare move and let him in. That would only mean having to quite possibly face Magnus. He wasn't ready for that. 

Xavier let out a pitiful howl, prompting Alec to cover his ears and get up out of bed to make his way over to the door. Once he opened it a crack, Xavier pushed his way in and happily plopped himself up and down on Alec's bed. He panted happily. 

"St-stop making so much noise, Xavier. So loud," Alec stroked his dog's body and immediately felt calm. Xavier had placed his big dog head on Alec's chest, feeling his boy's heartbeat under his head and whined. There was something wrong. He could sense it. 

After a while, Alec could hear the tv on in the living room playing some kind of sitcom. He could hear the canned laughter and the applause and wondered what Magnus was watching. He soon quickly gave up listening to the tv and brought his focus back to his blog. 

There was a photo he'd been wanting to upload for the longest time now, but he just couldn't find the time to do it. It was a photo that he took one day when he and Magnus went to the park again with Xavier. Xavier had decided to run through a pile of leaves after Magnus had lost his grip on the leash, therefore chasing him around and trying to get the leash back. But Xavier wasn't having any of it. 

Finally, Magnus had caught Xavier and collapsed on his back into a pile of leaves, exhausted. Xavier fell down beside him, tongue lolling out in a huge smile as Magnus had a hand on his own forehead, laughing. That was the photo. Of Xavier and Magnus on the ground with smiles on their faces. 

That's how Alec wanted to preserve their happiness. If time could've froze at that moment, he would've been happy for the rest of his life. There was something about Magnus' smile that made his heart soar. Thinking about the look on Magnus' face before Alec swore and slammed the door wasn't how he wanted to leave things between them. He knew he had to make amends somehow, and there was only one way he knew how. 

Taking a deep breath, he got out of bed and opened his bedroom door. The chatter from the tv was much louder now and it was definitely a sitcom that Magnus was watching. Probably The Big Bang Theory. Magnus said before that it was his favorite tv show. 

Alec slipped into the kitchen without Magnus noticing and took out the usual ingredients for his and Isabelle's special cookies. He thought if he made a batch, things would go back to normal between them. Cookies were like that. They made things okay regardless of the situation. 

As he was pouring brown sugar into the bowl, he accidentally dropped the cookie tray onto the floor, causing a loud racket. He winced. This was sure to grab Magnus' attention. No point in trying hide now. There was too much evidence on the counter to say that he wasn't in here. 

Sure enough, Magnus appeared around the corner. He paused upon seeing Alec standing by the counter with a bowl of dough, raising an eyebrow. "What are you doing?" 

Alec squeezed the wooden spoon he was holding. "Alec thought he-he could make cookies for Magnus. Make things better."

Magnus, who was tense when he first saw Alec standing alone in the kitchen, finally relaxed his shoulders. "Let me help you with that. Cookies are more fun to make with a friend."

Within the hour, the cookies were baked and practically all eaten as they sat down in front of the tv and watched Harry Potter. Magnus had his feet propped up on the table with his head resting in his hand, whereas Alec was sat up completely straight, fists clenched on his lap. 

Magnus noticed this. "Hey. What's up with your hands? They're clenched."

Alec shrugged. "Alec is okay. Just...frustrated."

Magnus sighed. "It's because of me, isn't it? I upset you earlier."

Alec felt his nails dig into the palms of his hands. "N-no. Magnus didn't upset Alec. Alec is just feeling tired. Worried ab-about Thanksgiving."

Magnus knew this wasn't the truth but he went along with it anyway. "Same here. My mom isn't cooking again this year. I'd do it but I can't even make toast most days," Magnus chuckled. "You would've loved my mom's cooking. Back in the day, her food was the stuff of legends. People in our neighbourhood talked about her holiday cooking before the holidays were even near. She could've opened her own restaurant if she wanted."

Alec wasn't sure what to say so he hummed in content as he took another bite of cookie. This one was still warm on the inside. 

"Oh man. I miss my mom's cooking. Her potatoes were to die for-" Magnus saw the shocked look on Alec's face. "Not actually die. It's just an expression. Means they were delicious."

"Oh," Alec said. "M-Magnus' mumma not dead though, no? Not dead, Magnus?"

"Nope. But she might as well be. She looks like death, with all the smoking and drinking she does." Magnus nibbled on a cookie, his mind racing about his mom. "But enough about me. Do you have plans for Thanksgiving?"

Alec scratched his head. "Y-yeah. Family dinner at home. Lots of-lots of food. Alec get lots of white meat and gravy."

Magnus smirked. "That's good. Gravy is the best with turkey. What's your favourite part about Thanksgiving?"

Alec's face suddenly lit up with a smile. "Pumpkin pie! Mumma makes good p-pie. Alec has two pieces. Sometimes three." He glanced at Magnus quickly before looking away, his attention going back to the now empty plate of cookies. "Magnus? Alec has question."

Figuring where Alec was about to say, Magnus nodded anyway. "I'm listening."

Alec squinted. "Magnus want to-to come to Alec's for Thanksgiving?"

The question kind of hung in midair as Magnus tried to think of what to say. It was a nice gesture of Alec. He now knew that Magnus' mom didn't cook anymore and probably felt bad that he was going to be alone that day. At the same time, Magnus felt guilty for going against Maryse's wishes by kissing her son. It wasn't like he forced Alec into doing it. Alec was the one who initiated it....and Magnus went along with it because he secretly liked it. 

"I'll...uh...have to think about it. Check with my mom to make sure she doesn't have any plans made for us. She could decide she's cooking this year. Who knows," he said to Alec. "I'll let you know before Thursday, okay?"

Alec nodded and squeezed his hands. "Okay. Alec okay if Magnus say-say no. Okay?" He pointed to himself and nodded. 

"Okay," Magnus nodded. He wasn't sure if Alec was just saying that to make him feel better or if he actually meant it. Either way, he still felt bad. "Who usually visits your family on Thanksgiving?"

"Uh," Alec grunted, trying to think of who sat at the Lightwood's dining room table during the holiday. "Lots of p-people. Alec don't know them all. But they all know Alec. Yes. They know Alec."

"They're probably other family members that you don't know very well. I have a few of them myself. They talk to you as if you're expected to know all about them." Magnus rolled his eyes, prompting Alec to snort. "Well I hope you have a good Thanksgiving. At least have a better one than me. I don't know if I can survive one day alone with my mom."

"Sur-survive? Magnus isn't dying, no? Magnus?" Alec felt himself getting more and more upset at the thought of Magnus dying, especially on Thanksgiving. His hands were starting to flutter at his sides and normally if they began to flutter, he'd squeeze his stress ball or play around with his rubix cube, but he he had neither with him at the moment. So he settled with squeezing his hands. The pressure on his palm felt good on his nerve endings, which were on fire. 

"Alec. You're squeezing your hands again. What's wrong?" Magnus looked down at Alec's hands, which were white at the knuckles from where Alec was clenching them. Xavier had trotted over at that moment and placed his nose under Alec's hands, grunting. 

Alec rubbed his dog's head and felt his nerves relax. "Magnus don't have to come to Alec's for Thanksgiving. It was just-just an idea."

"Yeah. I know. Look...." Magnus took a deep breath. "Here's what I can promise you. If my mom doesn't have anything planned, I'll accept your invitation. Sound good?" 

Alec's smile returned. "Good. Sound good to Alec. Save a seat for Magnus at table, yeah? Lots of chairs. Too many..."

"Too many chairs or too many people?"

"Both," Alec giggled. "Alec get over-overwhelmed sometimes. Lots of people at dinner. Crowded."

Magnus pat Alec's shoulder and smiled. "It won't be so bad if I'm there. Remember what I told you to do if you're scared or getting anxious?"

Alec looked down at Magnus' long fingered hand. It was decorated with silver rings, all of them different shapes and sizes. He liked the way they captured the light and sparkled. Everything about Magnus sparkled and shone. "Hold-hold Magnus' hand. Yes. Hold Magnus hand. Squeeze it."

Magnus nodded. "Exactly. And it doesn't matter if anyone sees you because you're doing it to calm yourself. There's no shame in that."

Alec cocked his head like a puppy would when it hears a new sound. Magnus thought he looked absolutely adorable like this. "Like there's no sh-shame in Alec kissing Magnus? No shame, right? Magnus doesn't feel shame, no?"

Magnus felt his face heat up. Of course he didn't feel shame. Guilt, yes. But shame? Absolutely not. The guilt was a seed that Maryse purposely planted to make him feel this way. The seed was slowly beginning to grow; it bloomed into a small sprout that with every passing thought he wasn't supposed to have of Alec, it was being watered. 

"Magnus? Too quiet....Alec getting a-awkward," Alec smiled weakly and rubbed his neck. 

"What? Oh. Sorry. I was just thinking. But you're right. There's no shame in you kissing me. None at all." 

This seemed to please Alec. He hummed happily and rubbed behind Xavier's ears. The reptitive motion eased his mind and st the same time made his dog very happy; Xavier's leg was shaking in pleasure and he was grunting with a smile on his face. 

A knock on the door made both men look up in unison. Isabelle, Simon and Jace marched in and shook small flakes of snow from their hair. Isabelle nearly slipped but no one was surprised. Her heels were seven inches high. 

"Whoo! It's freezing out there. Do I smell cookies?" Simon sniffed the air. "Chocolate chip. My favorite-do you have any more?"

Alec scowled. "No. All gone. Magnus ate l-last one."

"Ah. Oh well maybe next time. You okay there, Iz? Maybe you shouldn't wear seven inch heels in this weather."

Isabelle raised a finger to silence him. "Hey. You know my motto. Nothing less than seven inches."

Jace gagged. "That's a visual I certainly didn't need. Brother! How are you doing, big guy?"

Jace sat beside Alec, who was watching Simon carefully. "Alec is okay. Ex-excited for Thanksgiving. Jace be there, yeah? Jace go to dinner? And Izzy?"

"Izzy and I will be there. So will Clary and Simon. But they're a package deal anyway. Where one goes, so does the other," Jace chuckled. 

Simon beamed. "Totally. It's like buy one friend, get one free. Although that sounds kind of harsh....putting a price on friendship. Forget I said anything."

"I don't pay attention when you speak anyway," Jace smiled his famous thousand watt smile. Simon returned it with the middle finger. "But yes, Alec. We're all going to be there. I doubt our mother would ever let it go if we didn't show up."

"Ain't that the truth," Isabelle sat on the recliner and swung her long legs over the arm of the chair. "We're here to let you know that mom's having dinner tomorrow at 5 pm on the dot. Not a minute later. Not a minute earlier. Are you coming too, Magnus?"

Magnus shrugged. "I may have plans with my mom, but we'll see what tomorrow brings."

"Dude. You have to go. Mama Lightwood is cooking. Her cooking is AMAZING," Simon clapped Magnus on the shoulder and beamed. "It'd suck if you didn't come, bro. Alec here would be disappointed. Wouldn't you, big guy?"

Alec shrugged but said nothing. He didn't like talking to Simon directly. He didn't like Simon, period. 

"We're not forcing you to go or anything. Don't take Simon's persistence the wrong way. It's just that we've all gotten to know you pretty well over the last month that you're practically family. It'd be nice to have you with us tomorrow," Isabelle smiled softly. Magnus didn't find her quite as terrifying when she smiled like this. 

"I'll....I'll think about it. Just got to check in with my mom first-"

"Bring your mom! Our mom could use a drinking friend-"

"My mom's an alcoholic, Isabelle. I don't think she needs a drinking buddy."

They all fell silent. Xavier lumbered around the room before finally settling at Alec's feet, letting out an exasperated sigh. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know...." Isabelle whispered. 

Magnus shook his head. "It's okay. I don't really talk about my personal life so not many people know about my mom. But like I said, I'll think about it and let you know before dinner tomorrow."

Isabelle glanced at Jace, who nodded. "Okay. Just give me or Alec a call. I'm sure Jace can call for a car to get you-"

"I have my own car, Isabelle. And a license. I can drive myself."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Yes I know. But you'd be driving in style, Magnus. Like a celebrity. Just let us get a car-"

"Izzy," Alec suddenly spoke up. Everyone went silent and turned to look at him. His hands were playing with the hem of his shirt and he was shaking his head. "Leave-leave Magnus alone. Magnus don't want car. Stop p-pestering."

Isabelle looked at her brother in surprise. "Wow. I believe this is the first time Alec's ever told me off. Don't you agree, Jace?"

"Wholeheartedly," Jace grinned. 

Alec copied Jace's reaction and grinned too. "Alec serious, Izzy. L-leave Magnus alone, yeah?"

Isabelle raised her hands. "Fine. I just wanted the man to travel luxuriously. Most people want to live that kind of life. I guess Magnus here isn't most people."

"I'm not. I don't look for luxury. It doesn't appeal to me," Magnus shrugged. "Sorry to burst your bubble, Isabelle."

"I burst her bubble years ago," Simon winked, which prompted Jace to grab him by the ear and drag him to the front door. "I guess we're leaving?"

"I guess we are," Jace growled. "See you tomorrow, big brother. Don't forget to wear your turkey sweater."

Alec nodded. "Alec won't forget."

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Turkey sweater?"

"It's a sw-sweater with a turkey on it," Alec leaned in and whispered. 

"Ah. I see," Magnus whispered back. "And does the entire Lightwood family have a turkey sweater?"

"Unfortunately," Jace, Isabelle and Alec said at the same time. Simon stood by the door with a huge smile on his face. Magnus guessed he didn't have one. 

"Maybe if you're lucky, you'll receive your official Lightwood uniform tomorrow if you decide to come," Isabelle said as she slipped on her heels. "I'd hate for you not to get s matching sweater like us."

"Yeah. Matching sweaters are so cool," Jace rolled his eyes. "Anyway, we're gone. See you tomorrow Alec! Hopefully we'll see you too, Magnus."

Alec flapped his fingers in his signature wave. "Bye bye. Hap-happy Thanksgiving."

After they left, Magnus turned to face Alec. He was gently rubbing a sleeping Xavier on the belly. "A turkey sweater? Really?"

Alec shrugged. "It-it was that or a sweater with a family photo on it. Chose turkey s-sweaters instead."

Magnus laughed. "I don't blame you. I'd choose a turkey sweater too. I'd be delighted to have one too."

Alec hummed in content but said nothing but he knew he didn't have to. His hum said it all.


	18. Eighteen

Alec hated parties. Loathed parties. Despised parties. Every word that had to do with hatred, then that described him. Instead of interacting with the guests, he always hid away in the sub where it was nice and quiet and no one could bother him. His parents always insisted it'd be good for him to socialize and get to meet new people, but he wasn't a sociable person. His palms got clammy whenever someone approached him. His heart beat faster when someone talked to him. His vision grew black on the edges and he feels woozy as if he's about to pass out. Parties just weren't his strong suit. 

Isabelle, on the other hand, was the life of the party. She loved being at the center of attention and meeting new people. She didn't hide away like Alec did. Or feel sick to her stomach whenever a crowd was in the room. Isabelle was, though he'd never admit to her, perfect in every way, shape and form. She was their parent's pride and joy. As was Max. Even at 9 years old, he was already a charmer and very intelligent for his age. 

Alec felt like he had nothing to live for; like he had no purpose in life. Even though he was taking courses at the university, it still felt as if it wasn't good enough for his parents. He tried so hard to take as many courses as he could but even with the ones he has now, it still stressed him out. He wasn't the perfect son, he knew that much. He wasn't smart like Izzy or a smooth talker like Max. He was the Lightwood son everyone felt bad for. Pitied. Looked down upon because he was different. 

He didn't want to be different. 

"Yoo hoo! Alec! You decent in there?" Isabelle sang out from the hallway of his bedroom door. He had spent the night at his parent's just after Magnus left, insisting that it was easier for him to be there the day of Thanksgiving so that way no one had to come get him. His mother was only too happy to have him home. 

"Y-yeah. Alec is decent," he answered. He turned to see Isabelle poking her head into the room and smirking. "Why is Izzy smirking? Izzy? Why?"

She giggled. "I'm smirking because....." She jumped into the room and outstretched her arms above her head. "Ta-da! Turkey shirt!"

Alec looked at her sweater and giggled. "Alec has his on too. T-ta-da!" He raised his arms and laughed when the turkey on his green sweater raised its wings when he rose his arms. "Izzy like?"

"I do. Looking very handsome and suave in green, Alexander Gideon. Are you wearing the bow tie dad got you?"

Alec nodded. "Alec doesn't know how to p-put it on. Help Alec, Izzy? Please?"

Isabelle strode over and picked up the green bow tie that their father got for the men. They all matched their sweaters; Alec's was green, Max's was red, Jace's was orange and their father's was brown. Even Xavier had a little tie. "Dad certainly like ties, doesn't he? This one even has little cornucopias on it. It's cute."

Alec tilted his head back a little to give his sister better access to his throat. He also hated bow ties almost as much as parties but he didn't have the guts to tell his father this. He knew his dad loved bonding with his boys more than anything else in the world. "Yeah. Dad silly sometimes. Mumma silly too. Silly parents."

Isabelle smirked as Alec hummed and tapped his fingers against his leg. "Someone's eager today. What's on your mind?"

What's on his mind? Everything. His mind never stopped. From the moment he goes to bed right when he wakes up, his mind is an endless cycle of thoughts. But right now he was thinking of Magnus and whether or not he was going to show up. "Magnus. Alec is thinking of Magnus."

Isabelle sighed. "You're worried he isn't going to show. Aren't you?"

Alec nodded. "Y-yeah. Be nice if Magnus was there to support Alec during crowds."

With a finger, Isabelle pushed her brother's black hair out of his eyes. He had the same color hair as she did. It even had the same softness to it as well. "I know, bubba. But he said he'd call. We just have to be a little patient, okay? Dinner isn't until another seven hours. Lots of time."

Alec groaned. He had no concept of time. Izzy should know this. Seven hours felt like seven minutes sometimes. Or even seven weeks. Months. Years. Time meant nothing to him. "Alec call Magnus? Can Alec call? Yes. Alec call Magnus-"

"Bup bup bup. Stop right there, buddy. We have bigger fish to fry right now."

Alec squinted. "Mumma making fish for Thanksgiving?"

"Not actual fish, silly. It just means we have more important things to be doing. Like helping mom prepare the turkey. Make pie. Decorate the house. Try to keep Max from killing Xavier-again, it's an expression. There's a lot we have to do before dinner."

Alec rubbed his neck, thinking about Magnus. "But M-Magnus. What if Magnus calls but Alec doesn't hear phone?"

"I'll keep an ear out for you. Don't worry. Right now we have to help mom out before she flips a table. She's the only cook today. She sent everyone home for the holidays which I suppose was nice of her. But she's cooking for 30 people. She's going to have a cow if not everything is perfect the way she likes it."

Alec groaned. Izzy was using too many expressions today and he couldn't keep up with them all. "What-what does mumma need first? Alec help."

Izzy took his hand and led him out into the hall and down the stairs. Their father was at the entrance on a ladder, hanging brown garland from the chandelier. "Help dad with decorating. I'm gonna go fist a turkey."

"Isabelle Sophia! Watch your language!" Robert snapped, grumbling in Italian. Alec didn't understand why he was so mad. Izzy was just stuffing a turkey. 

Isabelle just laughed in response. "Oh come on, daddy. It was funny. Admit it."

Robert looked down at her, a small smirk creeping up on his lips. "Okay. Fine it was a little funny. But don't repeat that around your mom or Max. We don't need him going to school and telling his teachers that his sister....you know."

"I hear ya dad. Anyway, Alec's here to hold the ladder so you don't fall to your untimely death and miss Thanksgiving. Mom would never forgive you for missing dinner."

Robert rolled his eyes as Isabelle left the front doorway. "Thank you, Isabelle. Always thinking ahead." He looked down at Alec, who was trying to fix the collar of his dress shirt that was underneath the sweater. "You excited for today, bud?"

"N-not really," Alec whispered. "Dad? How-how many people did mumma invite?"

Robert paused to think. "I'm not sure. I think she said 40 or so. I know it seems overwhelming but you won't even notice when you're enjoying your mom's cooking."

Alec groaned. Maybe his dad was right. He won't even notice the crowd of people around him once he's sitting down and enjoying his Thanksgiving dinner. 

"Alec! Phone call for you. It's Magnus," Isabelle shouted from the kitchen. 

Alec felt his heart jump in excitement. "Dad? Alec go get phone, yeah? Dad okay?"

"I'm good, kiddo. Go get the phone. I'm not going anywhere," Robert smiled. 

Alec shuffled into the kitchen and picked up his cell, which Isabelle must've took with her when they left his room. "H-hello? Alec here."

Magnus snorted. "Hi Alec. What's up?"

Alec giggled. "Watching Izzy fist a turkey." He looked up to see both his mother and Isabelle staring at him with a stunned expression. "Magnus coming to dinner later? P-please say yes."

"Actually, that's what I'm calling about......I don't think I can come."

Alec felt his heart sink. "Wh-why? Magnus have dinner with his mumma instead?"

Magnus took a deep breath. "I can't come because I don't have a matching turkey sweater."

Alec looked at his mother who was holding the turkey for Isabelle to stuff. "Mumma? Does mumma have an extra t-turkey sweater for Magnus?"

Maryse nodded. "I should have one upstairs in the closet. Why? Doesn't he have one?"

"Mom, I doubt anyone outside this family has a turkey sweater," Isabelle grumbled as she inched her hand inside the turkey to stuff it. 

Alec put the phone back up to his ear. "Y-yeah. Magnus? Alec have extra sweater. Wear it. Come to dinner now?"

Magnus chuckled. "I guess I don't have any other choice now, do I? I already spoke to my mom. She's not doing anything but that's hardly surprising. So I guess I'll see you at dinner?"

Alec nodded. He forgot he was on the phone. "Yeah. See you at dinner. Bye."

After he hung up, he sat down on a stool by the counter. A smile had crept up into his face and he couldn't help but hum in content. Magnus was coming over to dinner. Naturally, that would put a smile on his face. 

Maryse noticed her son's broad smile from across the counter. "What's got you so smiley all of a sudden?" She asked. 

"Nothing, mumma. Alec j-just excited for turkey. Where's extra turkey sweater?" He was already on his feet and out the kitchen before his mother could answer. He didn't have time to listen. Plus he was impatient. He needed to find that sweater.

"Hey bud. Where's the fire?" Robert asked as Alec shuffled past him in the entranceway. 

"There's-there's a fire?" Alec croaked. "Mumma didn't start cooking yet...."

"I don't mean an actual fire. Sorry, Alec. I keep forgetting you don't really understand figures of speech....what I meant was why are you in a hurry?"

Alec rolled his eyes. "Alec is getting extra turkey sweater for Magnus. Dad okay? Good here?"

"Yeah I'm good. I'm all finished decorating. Don't tell your mom. She'll think of something else for me to do," he smiled and winked. "I'm going to go catch the game. Come join me when you're ready."

He hated football, but Alec nodded anyway. Thanksgiving was supposed to family time. Watching football with his father was family time, even if he did hate the sport. 

"Now go find the sweater for Magnus before he arrives so you'll have it ready when he gets here. Go on. Shoo!" Robert waved a hand for Alec to go upstairs. 

Up in his parent's bedroom, Alec went into his mother's walk in closet and took one look around with a sigh. The closet was pretty large. It was probably going to take him longer than he expected to find the sweater. 

"Looking for something?" A voice said from outside the bedroom. 

Alec stuck his head out to see Max standing in the hallway, arms crossed over his chest. "M-Max. Alec looking for turkey sweater for Magnus. Max see one here?"

Max scoffed. "Why can't you talk right like a normal person? You're a grown up. So why don't you talk more like mom and dad?"

Alec felt himself grow uncomfortable the longer Max stared at him. "Max. P-please. Alec doesn't have time for this. Need to find s-sweater fast. Before Magnus come."

Max rolled his eyes but stepped into the spacious closet, grabbing a green sweater off the hook. "Here. It's the same one as yours. Same size too."

Alec took the sweater and looked it over for holes. "Th-thank you, Max. Excited for dinner, yeah?"

"Whatever," Max shrugged. He turned his heel and left the room, leaving Alec by himself in his parent's bedroom. 

\----------

"You're not spending time with your dear old mom?"

Magnus rolled his eyes. "No, mom. We've established this already. You said you weren't making anything, and we both know I can't cook so it's settled. I'm going to the Lightwood's for turkey."

His mother, Theresa, shrugged and took a drag of her cigarette. Magnus had watched her get high earlier that day (he couldn't stop her even if he tried) so she hardly had any control over what she said or did. "You're only going over there because the retarded Lightwood son invited you."

Magnus breathed in sharply through his nose in attempt to control his anger. "I'm invited there because I work with them, mom. I'm employed by them in case you've forgotten."

"Tomato, tomatoe. All the same. You would've never stepped foot in a fancy place like that in your entire life without invitation from a higher being," she took another drag as she spoke. "So how stupid is he? I've heard people talk about the Lightwood kids. Three of them are normal, even if one of them is adopted. The oldest isn't. He's got mental problems or something."

The anger that was boiling inside Magnus was beginning to grow worse the longer Magnus stood there and listened to his mother. "He's autistic, mom. He's not crazy. He's not stupid either. And the word you're using to describe him? Retarded? That's considered derogatory. We're not living in the fucking nineties anymore. It's offensive."

"Mags, I honestly don't care. I don't know this Lightwood kid and he doesn't know me so he's not offended in any way."

"He's not even here, mom. If he was, he'd definitely be offended."

Getting to her feet, Theresa stumbled over to the fridge and opened it up. Magnus could see a bottle of some kind of alcohol in her hand. "What is this kid's name again? The oldest one."

Magnus watched her fill up a glass with liquor. "Alec. His name is Alec. And he's not a kid. He's 23. He's just a few years younger than me." He winced when his mother slammed the glass down on the table and sighed heavily. "I'm headed over to his place now. Will you be okay here?"

Theresa snickered. The alcohol was already working on her. "Honey, I haven't been okay in a very long time. The liquor just numbs the pain."

Magnus frowned. It was around this time of year when Rosalie passed away. His mother never did fully recover, even if it was mostly her fault that Rose was gone. But seeing her like this, bottle of whiskey on the table, cigarette smoke wafting around in the air....he felt bad for her. "Fine. If you're good here, then I'm off. Want me to bring you back anything if I can?"

"Mmm," Theresa grumbled. "Another pack of smokes. And a bottle of whiskey."

"That's not what I meant," he sighed. "Bye, mom. See you in a bit."

The Lightwood home was decorated nicely when Robert let him in when he arrived. There was brown garland hanging from the chandelier, plastic turkeys taped to the walls, and a large "Happy Thanksgiving" banner across the doorway leading to the doing room. 

"Nice decorations you have here, Robert. Who put them up? Alec?" Magnus poked one of the plastic turkeys with a finger. 

"If Alec put them up, he wouldn't have needed a ladder," Robert nodded his head towards a stepladder by the staircase. "I'm glad you made it. Wasn't expecting you to be here this early, to be honest."

Magnus flushed. "I'm sorry. I should've told Alec I was coming over early to lend a hand."

Robert chuckled. "Lend a hand? You're our guest, Magnus. We do the work. You sit there and enjoy yourself. It's our job to make sure you're comfortable and having a good time."

Magnus was about to answer when Alec stepped into the room with a box of cans in his arms. He paused in place when he saw Magnus standing in the entrance. He shook his head, grumbling something under his breath. 

"Dad. Mumma needs box of food to-to go to food bank," he outstretched his arms with the box in them. "Mumma needs it done now."

Robert muttered something in Italian. "Of course she does. I'll take that box, bud. Tell her I'll be back when I get back. There's no telling how bad the traffic will be today. Thanksgiving and all." 

Magnus held open the front door for him. "Careful driving out there. The traffic is pretty bad."

After the door closed, Alec found himself feeling shy and awkward all of a sudden. He couldn't bring himself to look at Magnus. He looked really good with the light blue dress shirt and black tie. It made his dark hair look even more dark. In contrast, his beige pants and black shoes summed up the entire outfit. 

Magnus smiled. "So. It's Thanksgiving. Are you excited?"

Alec nodded and thrust the hand out that held the turkey sweater. "For Magnus. Extra sweater. It-it has a turkey on it."

Magnus took it from Alec's outstretched hand and opened it up. "Oh wow. That's quite a sweater. I've heard of ugly Christmas sweaters but this....this is something else."

"Alec sorry. Didn't have different color. Green okay for Magnus?" 

"I guess we'll just have to find out," Magnus smiled. He slipped it on over his head before sticking his arms in through the holes. Pulling it down, he adjusted it it around the collar and made sure the collar of his dress shirt was on the outside. He left his tie on. "I love it. How do I look?"

Alec looked at the sweater. It was the exact same one as he was wearing except it was a little bit big on Magnus. "Magnus look good. N-nice." 

Magnus laughed when Alec gave him a thumbs up. "I love it so much. I've always wanted an ugly sweater. It's so ugly it's beautiful," he looked up to see Alec's confused expression. "Don't try to figure that one out. It'll just give you a headache."

"Okay. Alec take Magnus to kitchen now. Help mumma with dressing," Alec shuffled away without looking at Magnus. He could no longer stand there feeling awkward and he needed to be doing something. Keeping busy. Anything but have to sit there alone with Magnus.

Alec wasn't joking when he said Isabelle was fisting a turkey. Here she was elbow deep inside the largest turkey Magnus had ever seen before in his life. Two of them, in fact. Whether she was actually stuffing it or practicing to be a farmhand that helped the animals give birth was beyond him. 

She finally looked up at him and waved with her free hand. "Hey Magnus. Don't mind me. My mom buys the biggest damn turkey every year instead of getting a couple of regular size ones."

Maryse was hunched over a piece of paper, writing something down. "Then next year you can cook, Isabelle. You try getting a dinner ready for 43 people and we'll see if you can juggle that task."

Magnus snickered. Beside him, Alec gulped audibly and squeezed his hands. Right away Magnus knew that he was thinking of the crowd of people that would be at his house in 6 hours. 

"I'm just saying, mom. How often do you see people elbow deep up a turkey's ass?" Isabelle slid her arm out and cringed. "I'm not even sure this is a turkey. This is a fucking pterodactyl."

"Language, Isabelle. And it's a turkey. Just a....really big one." Maryse finally turned to face Magnus. "Oh! You're wearing the sweater! Alec found it after all. How does it fit?"

"It's lovely. I love how your family has the spirit of Thanksgiving," said Magnus. "The house is decorated. You have matching sweaters. I love it."

"You should see her on Christmas. The woman goes all out," Isabelle giggled as her mom hit her on the hand with a wooden spoon. "It's true! You're like a one woman Whoville!"

"Wh-Whoville? That's the Grinch, Izzy? Right? The Grinch?" Alec nodded. He'd been paying attention all along. He found it easier to focus when Magnus was around. 

"Yup. But I don't think the Grinch was a Who. Was he?" Isabelle thought about it for a second. "Geez, I can't remember if he is or not. He's all green and hairy. Whos aren't. So I don't think so."

They carried on talking like this until Maryse slid the turkadactyl (as Isabelle dubbed it) into the oven. After the turkey was in the oven, they all went to set the table in the dining room. Turns out the Lightwood dining room was like the Hogwarts dining room. Two long tables were set up on either side, seating 20 chairs to a table. It was very impressive. Once they covered both tables with a festive tablecloth and matching cutlery and plates, the room seemed to brighten right up. Magnus could feel the spirit of Thanksgiving flowing about the room. 

"I think Hogwarts called. They want their tables back," Magnus whispered to Alec with a grin. 

Alec squinted. "Hog-Hogwarts called? No phones there, silly. Magnus so silly."

Magnus sighed as Alec pat him on the head. Oh well. At least Magnus himself thought it was funny.

"Can-can Alec talk privately with Magnus? Privately. Yes," Alec hissed/whispered when they finished setting the table. 

"Sure. What about?" Magnus let himself be taken into a room that looked like a study of some sort. Probably Robert's office. 

Alec sighed. "Alec is confused. Magnus confused Alec very much."

Now Magnus was confused himself. "I'm sorry if I did....but how exactly did I confuse you?"

The air between them grew awkward as Alec struggled to find the right words to say. When he finally spoke you, his voice cracked. "If Alec likes Magnus, why can't they date? Doesn't Magnus like Alec back?"

Magnus rubbed his forehead. "Alec, we've been over this-"

"N-no. We haven't. Magnus told Alec that it was com-complicated. Alec want to know why. Right now." Alec tried to sound brave but failed as his voice wavered. He felt like he was going to cry but he wasn't going to cry in front of Magnus. Absolutely no way was he going to cry. 

"I....I can't tell you, Alec. All I can say is that there's a fine line between keeping things professional and breaking that professionalism. I want to keep it professional between us."

Alec cocked his head, seemingly considering what Magnus said. "Magnus is lying. There's m-more to it. How come Magnus won't tell truth?"

"Because it is the truth!" Magnus shouted, causing Alec to flinch in fright. "I'm sorry, Alec. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you-"

"Alec go help mumma again now. See-see you at dinner," Alec mumbled as he headed for the door. Magnus stepped in front of him, which he didn't appreciate at all. "M-move please. Alec don't want to be in here anymore."

"Please forgive me. I didn't mean to be so mean to you. I just....I just can't explain myself to you, Alec."

"Because you think Alec won't understand? Because Alec is stupid?"

Magnus flinched this time. "I didn't say that-"

"No. But the im-implication was there," Alec leaned forward and stared Magnus down with a look in his eyes that actually frightened Magnus a little bit. He knew that people often forgot that Alec was a grown man. He was also tall and very strong and was capable of hurting someone if he wanted to. He wasn't a child. "Move, please. Alec won't ask again."

Magnus sighed heavily and moved aside, allowing Alec to leave the office in a hurry. "I really am sorry, Alec," he more or less whispered to himself when Alec was gone. "I wish I could explain but I can't. I'd lose a lot more than my job if we became something more than friends. I'd lose you. That's the best explanation I can give you."

"Who are you talking to?" A voice piped up. Max was sitting in his father spinning chair, looking at Magnus with an odd look on his face. 

"God, you scared me. How long have you been sitting there?" Magnus hissed. 

Max shrugged. "Long enough. What did you mean by becoming something more than friends?"

Magnus nearly dropped to the floor and died of embarrassment. "Don't repeat any of this to anyone. Please. I could lose my job."

Max jumped down from the chair and looked up at Magnus as he passed by. "I won't. But it sounds like you could lose a lot more than just your job."

Magnus swore loudly in his head as Max left the room with his tiny hands in his pants pockets. 

What a little snot.


	19. Nineteen

Isabelle, Alec and Magnus were sitting in the living room when hey heard a car pulling up into the monstrous driveway. Max was nowhere to be seen, which in Magnus' mind was a good thing. He couldn't stand the little snot rag. Not after what he said in Robert's office earlier. 

"Oh no," Alec moaned. "They're here."

Magnus peered out the living room window and saw a crowd of people coming up the front lawn. His guess was that these were the other guests invited to the dinner too. He recognized a few people; Jace and Clary, followed close behind by Simon. An older lady with a darker shade of hair than Clary though they looked similar, and a tall African-American man holding hands with the lady who looked like Clary. Magnus thought he looked very attractive. Both the man and the woman were, as a matter of fact. They made a beautiful couple. 

"J-Jocelyn!" Alec tapped the glass excitedly. "Jocelyn. So nice, Jocelyn. Nice lady."

"Who's Jocelyn?" Magnus asked. 

"Alec's therapist," Isabelle spoke up as she got to her feet to go get the door. "She used to treat him when he was younger. They still see each other from time to time. She comes here to check up on him and stuff. They're really close-hi!"

The crowd began to make their way inside, all talking at once. The noise of all the voices was beginning to spook Alec as they were ushered into the room. He clenched his eyes shut and covered his ears, humming one tone very loudly. 

Magnus noticed. "Hey. You'll be okay. They won't be here for very long. Most visitors just eat and go anyway."

Alec continued to hum with his eyes closed. He didn't seem to be paying much attention to Magnus as he spoke. All he really wanted to do was leave the room and go to his quiet place. 

"Happy Thanksgiving, big bro!" Jace rubbed Alec's back, prompting his older brother to peek open an eye. "There you are. What's up, dude?"

"Ugh," Alec groaned. "Crowd go now. Too-too crowded here. Leave."

"Hey now. We just got here! We want to at least have some turkey before we go. Can we do that?" Jace nudged Alec in the ribs. Alec groaned in response. "I'll take that as a yes. Onward to the kitchen!"

Magnus watched with a smirk as Jace charged out of the room, completely bypassing an open armed Clary who was waiting for a kiss. She looked stunned for a moment but she quickly composed herself once Jocelyn stepped into the room. "Did you just see that, mom? He went right past me. I doubt he even knew I was there."

"That's what happens when there's food involved, honey. Notice how Luke isn't in the room either," Jocelyn smiled. "Hello, Alec. How are you today?"

Magnus looked Jocelyn over. "You're Clary's mom?"

"I am," Jocelyn nodded. "It's the hair. Hers is just a touch lighter than mine."

Alec put a finger to his lips. "Alec is okay. Excited f-for turkey. Pterodactyl."

Jocelyn raised an eyebrow. "Pterodactyl?"

"That's what Isabelle called the turkey because it's huge. Emphasis on huge. In bold. Underscored. In italics," Magnus nodded. "Who's Luke? If you don't mind me asking."

"Luke is my husband," Jocelyn said at the same time Clary said "Luke is my dad." Both mother and daughter looked at each other, chuckling. "Luke is my husband. Clary's stepfather. We got married a few years ago when Clary was 18."

"He's not my stepfather, mom. He's my dad. Always has been. Always will," Clary huffed. This earned her a kiss on the forehead from her mother and was led out of the room. 

This left Alec alone with Magnus, which was what he was trying to avoid all afternoon. Now that they were alone, he could feel the dreaded sensation of awkwardness creeping up on him. Did Magnus feel the same way? If he did, he wasn't showing any signs. He was seated casually on the leather couch beside Alec looking rather relaxed with an arm draped over the back and a smile on his face. Alec wished he could be this relaxed too. Kind of hard when your once quiet home is filled with nearly fifty people and you weren't allowed to go into your sacred place for some peace and quiet. 

"Alec. Are you okay? You're really quiet today...." Magnus whispered. 

"Alec fine. Go see giant turkey, okay? See if mumma is cooking it," Alec got to his feet and hurried out to the kitchen as fast as he could, avoiding the crowd of people that just walked in through the front door. 

Robert stopped Magnus as he was passing by. "Magnus! Have you met the Blackthorns yet? They're quite a bunch of characters," he chuckled. "This is Andrew Blackthorn. Andrew, this is Magnus Bane. He works with my son."

Andrew smiled and shook Magnus' hand. "Hi. Nice to meet you."

"Likewise," Magnus looked at the group of younger versions of him. "Are these all your kids?"

Andrew laughed. "Pretty much. Except for Aline here. She's Helen's wife."

Aline smiled. "Hi. You already know me. We work together."

Andrew introduced each of his kids, who ranged from age 7 to 21. The oldest was Helen, then came Mark. Julian. Drusilla, Ty and Livvy. Then little Tavvy. They all looked pretty much the same except for Helen and Mark. Helen had long blonde hair, as did Mark. Plus Mark had heterochromia eyes like Jace. One eye was golden and the other was a bright blue. The rest all shared the same eyes and dark curly hair. 

"Go on inside, kids. Robert and I are going to go watch the game. Maybe Alec can show you to his old playroom?" Andrew smiled at Alec over Robert's shoulder. 

"Dad," one of the older boys, Julian, whispered. "I'm 17. I don't exactly play with toys anymore."

"I know. But it'd be good for Ty to have something in his hands. He needs a distraction after the upsetting car ride," Andrew whispered, looking at a tall, lanky boy with curly hair. "What do think, Ty? You want to check out the game room? They might have some cool video games there."

Alec snuck a glance at Tiberius. It's been a few years since he last saw Ty. The Blackthorn boy was taller now. The teen was mumbling under his breath and was rocking back and forth on his feet. Alec remembered doing that sometimes when he was upset. He often found himself doing that but not as frequent as he used to. Tiberius was a more severe case of autism. Alec overheard his parents talking once that Ty self harmed and had violent outbursts at times, but it had been years since he last saw Tiberius. Things might have changed since then.

"I'll take him to the game room, dad. I know where it is," Livvy said with a smile. "Can I bring him there, Alec?"

Alec groaned but nodded nonetheless. Much like the sub, the game room was also a quiet place to be when no one else was in there. It was pretty much soundproof aside from the large flat screen that could get really loud if you turned the volume up enough. But other than that, it was comfortable and safe. 

Livvy took her twin brother by the hand. "Come on, Ty. We're going to Alec's game room until dinner is ready."

Tiberius sighed. "I told dad I didn't want to attend this dinner. Besides, it's cruel to be eating a turkey for the sake of pride and celebration. They're living creatures too, you know. It seems preposterous."

Alec admired the way Ty spoke. He had a clear, deep voice that enunciated every word carefully. There was no stutter, like what Alec had, or uncertainty of what he wanted to say. Whatever came to mind, he said it. Alec wished he could do the same. 

"I'm going to wait for Emma on the front porch. She should be here soon," Julian said as he exited the house. 

Mark, the second oldest Blackthorn child, smirked. "He certainly likes Emma, doesn't he?"

Helen punched his arm when he started to make kissy noises. "Grow up, you dweeb. You were the same way with Kieran, once upon a time. You couldn't even go ten seconds without texting him or sending him a Snapchat."

"Who's Emma?" Magnus asked. 

"Emma is Julian's girlfriend. Emma Carstairs. Her and her family live in California like us. Every year we fly out here for the Lightwood turkey dinner. It's tradition," Helen grabbed Mark's ear and hauled him away from the porch window. He had his face pressed against the glass and was making faces at his younger brother. "You're such an idiot. I can't believe I'm related to you."

Alec giggled as he watched Mark get dragged away by his sister. Isabelle would never haul him around like that. "Magnus? Alec go check on turkey, okay?"

"Isn't your mom checking on it?" Magnus sighed, following Alec into the kitchen where the heavenly scent of a delicious turkey dinner wafted in the air. He had almost forgotten what a home cooked meal smelled like. "Alec. Your mom said she didn't want us in the kitchen while she was cooking. Maybe we should go back into the dining room-"

"Too crowded. Alec need space. To think...." Alec sat on a stool by the oven and let out a deep breath. He seemed to have forgotten that he was a little upset with Magnus said in his father's office earlier. "This is bad time for Alec. Lots of people. Too many d-distractions. Magnus understand, yeah?"

Magnus nodded. "Of course I do. I completely understand. And I get that you don't like crowds, but it's Thanksgiving, Alexander. It's about spending time with family and feeling thankful for the life you've been blessed with."

Alec snorted. It sounded almost like a sarcastic snort. "S-sure. Alec very thankful for life he received. Can't-can't even sit with family during Thanksgiving because of crowd always invited. Very thankful to be blessed with half a br-brain."

Magnus stared at him, shocked that Alec actually used sarcasm as an answer. "Who told you that? That you have half a brain?"

Alec shrugged. "Kids at school g-growing up. Call Alec names. Jace beat them up. Izzy too." Alec rubbed his neck and frowned. "Alec still get called names at the university. Doesn't bother Alec though. No. Used to it now."

Magnus took Alec's hand and held it before he could point to himself. "Don't you listen to anything they say. They're wrong. You are so smart, Alec. And funny. And so beautiful-" He paused when Alec perked up at being called beautiful. "Yes, you're beautiful. You have such a pure heart and soul and I doubt there's anyone else in the world like you."

"There's-there's only one Alec in world," Alec said, pointing to himself with his free hand and smiling. "There's only one Magnus, yeah? He's right here."

"That's right," Magnus chuckled. "Don't forget what I said, okay? Don't let the people at school or anywhere else bother you. You're better than them." He gave Alec's hand a gentle squeeze before getting to his feet. "Come on. Let's get out of here before your mom finds out we were in her kitchen when we weren't supposed to be."

Alec snickered and followed Magnus to the dining room where everyone was getting ready to be seated. He had quickly taken a seat beside Magnus, nearly tipping over his chair in the process. 

"The turkey is done, everyone!" Maryse came into the room holding a giant plate with the turkey on it. Everyone gasped and whispered and laughed as she struggled to get it onto the table. "It's a big one, I know. But it's worth it. There's enough here for everyone!"

"Is it cooked through?" Alec heard Mark whisper. 

"She wouldn't have brought it out if it wasn't, dummy," Helen hissed back. Mark stuck out his tongue at her. Julian rolled his eyes. 

There was another family sitting at the table that Magnus hadn't even noticed until he was seated. A man and a woman now sat across from Luke and Jocelyn; the man had dark hair and eyes whereas the woman was the complete opposite. She had blonde hair and blue eyes. A young girl, possibly 17, also with blonde hair pinned back, sat beside Julian, their hands entwined as they whispered quietly to each other. She giggled at something he said as he kissed her temple gently. Magnus felt a jealous twinge in his stomach, quickly looking away from them. 

Before Maryse cut the turkey, Robert stood up holding his wine glass. "A toast to family and friends. It's not very often I get a chance to step away from the office and have a fine dinner with the people I care about. It's nice to be able to stand before you today and see how much everyone has grown. Three of my kids are grown up. Little Max here is growing so fast. The Blackthorn's are growing up. Little Emma Carstairs is taller than me now," both tables laughed. Emma turned red in the face. Robert chuckled and continued. "I just wanted to say thank you for coming today to celebrate with my family. I love each and every one of you and I'm so thankful to have you in my life. Now I won't keep you for much longer. I know you're all starving. Let's dig in!"

Everyone cheered and dug right in. Alec got his regular: potatoes and corn with some carrots, a slice of white meat with turnip, all showered with gravy. He didn't touch the cranberry sauce. The look of it always did gross him out. 

"Your mom's cooking is incredible," Magnus whispered to Alec. "I could eat everything on the table."

"Y-yeah. Mumma makes good food. Always delicious," Alec whispered back (which sounded more like a loud hiss) and tried to concentrate on his plate. The scraping of the forks and knives made his head throb, as did the mix of voices coming from both tables. It was a cacophony of distractions; he couldn't focus-

"Hey. It's okay. I'm right here, Alec. Just pretend it's just you and me sitting here. You'll enjoy your dinner much more if you imagine that," Magnus said, encouragingly. He smiled as Alec closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "That's it. It's just you and me, handsome. No one else is in the room."

Alec slowly opened his eyes. Magnus was now sitting across the table from him, a smile on his gentle face. There was no one else there with them, as Magnus said. It was just the two of them. "Oh. W-wow."

"You're imagining just the two of us together, aren't you?" Magnus chuckled. "I can see it in your eyes. They're kind of glazed over. Like you're daydreaming or something."

Alec looked down at his plate before picking up his fork and digging in. Magnus was right. His mother was an amazing cook but this year the food tasted a little different. It didn't taste bad. If anything it tasted even better than it ever has before. He hummed in content as he shoveled another bite of potato into his mouth. 

"Slow down there, tiger. You're going to choke if you keep eating fast like that." Magnus took a bite of turkey. The turkadactyl tasted amazing. "Oh my god. This could give my mom's cooking a run for her money. This is incredible! Have you tried the turkey yet? You got to try it. Your mind will be blown."

"No," Alec did as he was told. Once the turkey touched his tongue, he was immediately hit with such flavor that he nearly melted into his chair. "Mmm. Magnus right. Turkey in-incredible."

Magnus laughed. "See? I told you! Oh my god. This is just absolutely mind blowing. Not bad for a pterodactyl turkey, huh?"

Alec smiled and nodded, not sure why Magnus was laughing so hard. "Magnus? What's wrong? Alec confused...."

"You have gravy all over your chin. Like you're literally covered in it," Magnus wheezed with laughter. "Here. Let me help you with that."

Alec groaned as Magnus wiped his chin with a napkin like a child. If it were anyone else doing this, he would've pulled away. He hated being treated like a child. But he suddenly found himself being very close proximity to Magnus and getting his chin wiped by this lovely man didn't seem like a bad idea now. They were so close that he could smell something on Magnus. It wasn't a bad scent. It was something else....something nice. 

Sandalwood. That's exactly what it was. Sandalwood body wash. It wasn't overpowering and it didn't make Alec woozy. It was just right. He found himself inhaling deeply and breathing in Magnus' scent as if he were trying to remember it for the future. 

Magnus paused for a moment to look at Alec. "That kiss during the storm....you remember it, right?"

"Yeah," Alec nodded. "What-what about it?"

Magnus glanced down at Alec's mouth. That damn mouth that he couldn't stop thinking about. "I'd like to kiss you again....if that's okay."

Maybe Alec was nodding a little too enthusiastically, but how could he not when Magnus was literally less than a inch away from him. He leaned carefully, almost painfully slowly, preparing himself to kiss and be kissed-

"Alec. Alec, you're doing that thing again where you stare into space with glazed over eyes."

"Huh?" Alec blinked and he was suddenly back in the dining room with everyone else. Magnus was seated beside him, chatting away with Jace and Clary. Isabelle was across from Alec, giving him an odd look. 

"Are you okay? You look pale in the face," she said. 

Alec nodded and cleared his throat. "Alec is okay. Just th-thinking about stuff."

Isabelle smirked as she glanced at Magnus then back at her brother. "Of course you are. I knew that."

Alec felt his face heat up in embarrassment. He went back to quietly eating his dinner, making a silent promise to himself not to tell anyone about his daydream of Magnus. 

That would his little secret.


	20. Twenty

December 5th was when Alec had a major breakthrough in regards to overcoming his fears.

It started off like any other normal day. He woke up, worked out for two hours, showered, shaved, made and ate breakfast and then brushed his teeth. It was pretty much routine except for the fact he had no school. He was off for the Christmas holidays and wouldn't be going back until January 3, which was a long period of time to not be going to school and it took a large chunk out of his schedule/routine, but he'd find some way to fill it. Because he lost so much time, he supposed he could fill the gap by planning his Christmas shopping list. 

While he was sipping his hot chocolate at his kitchen table later that afternoon, it had begun to snow. He enjoyed snow, but it didn't have the same effect on him like what rain did. Snow just meant cold weather and itchy sweaters with holes in them. It also meant Christmas was just around the corner and he needed to get this list finished before the holidays. There was so much to do but so little time to do it. He can see why his mother stressed over the holidays every year. 

He was about to start off the list by writing down a title when his front door flew open and Magnus literally blew in. He yelled as he tried to shut the door but failed miserably and slipped to the floor. 

Alec jumped up and helped close the door. The wind must've picked up on that side of the apartment. "Magnus! Windy outside, yeah? Blow away out there!"

Magnus huffed as he got to his feet. His once perfectly styled hair was now a complete mess. "I almost did on the way here. My car decided to not start this morning because it's a piece of shit-pardon my language. Swear jar, I know. But yeah. I took the subway and then a cab. I'm pretty much broke right now."

Alec helped him take off his jacket. "C-cold outside? Looks cold out. Alec make Magnus hot chocolate. Sit down."

Once he was settled, Alec started to boil the kettle. There was a cold draft going down the back of his neck and down his shirt, which wasn't very thick to begin with. The collar of it had gotten a little wet from where the snow had landed on his hood and seeped inside. Magnus shivered, trying to warm up. 

"Magnus want milk with cocoa?" Alec asked once the kettle was boiled. 

"Sure. And a little tiny spoonful of sugar too, please. To sweeten it up a bit," Magnus said. Alec placed his mug in front of him and went over to the cupboard to get the sugar. "So what's this piece of paper for on the table? It looks like you were about to write down something important."

"It-it is. That's Alec's Christmas list. Need to go shopping soon. Before it's too late," Alec grabbed the sugar from the cupboard and put it down in front of Magnus. "What is Magnus getting Alec for Christmas?"

"Like I'd tell you," Magnus snorted. "I'm not ruining the surprise. I'm taking this secret to my grave."

Alec took a seat at the table in front of his own cup of cocoa. "Tell Alec. Keep secret, yeah? Shhh."

"Don't shush me. You can bug me all you want but I'm still not telling you-ow. That's hot." Magnus sucked on his burnt lip. "Did you want to go shopping now? I know it's not the greatest time with the snow and wind but if we go now, we could get at least a little bit done."

This made sense to Alec. If he did a bit of shopping now, he wouldn't have as much to do for when Christmas was close. Plus he'd be beating the crowds to the store. "That does m-make sense. But Magnus doesn't have car. Alec can't take subway. Too crowded."

"It'd be cheaper if we took a cab to the subway instead of one all the way downtown. They charge you a lot more if you're headed there," Magnus sipped his cocoa.

Alec groaned. "F-fine. Alec will take the subway. But he doesn't have to like it."

"I don't like the subway either. It's full of weirdos anyway but who am I to judge. I'm a man that wears women's jewelry. I'm sure they're judging just as hard."

Alec remembered what Isabelle told him about the mean kind of judging and cringed. "Not nice to judge. It's mean. Everyone-everyone equal."

Magnus smiled. "Yes. Yes, they are. Not a lot of people realize that but it's true. We're all human. It wouldn't be any fun if everyone was the same."

Alec shook his head and sipped his hot drink. It had cooled off a bit since he was listening to Magnus instead of drinking it. "Alec and Magnus go shopping, yeah? Christmas shopping downtown. Get nice gifts for family. Yes. Nice gifts."

"If that's what you want to do, then I'm all for it. I have to pick up a few things myself. Groceries, a new winter coat. Among other things," he winked at Alec. 

"Other things m-meaning Alec's gift?" Alec said into his mug. He almost giggled at the way his voice sounded inside of it. 

"Maybeeeee. I can't tell you, remember? It'll ruin the surprise!" As Magnus got up to rinse out his mug, he grabbed his jacket and took out his phone to check the time. "It's 4:15 now. We probably won't be home before dark. Just letting you know now."

"Okay. Alec is okay with that," Alec nodded. His own coat was already on and he had everything he needed safely tucked away in his pockets. Phone. Wallet. Credit card. ID. Medical cards. Everything was neatly organized in a wallet that was given to him by his father a few years ago. Hand designed and custom made. Alec loved it. "Magnus have everything he needs? Like m-money and stuff?"

"I do. Do you? Double check to make sure. You don't want to forget anything once we're downtown." Magnus waited as Alec checked his pockets. "You good to go?" Alec have him a thumbs up. "Excellent. Make sure Xavier is comfortable. Then it's off to downtown New York we go."

\----------

The cab ride was all fine and dandy, but it was the subway that made Alec's nerves go haywire. As soon as they stepped down into the underground, his hands began to flutter at his sides. Fists. Shake. Wiggle fingers. Fists. Wiggle fingers. Shake. 

"Magnus? Alec can't do this. Gonna th-throw up. Alec feel it here," Alec pointed to his stomach and rubbed it. "Go home now. Ch-Christmas gifts can wait. Too crowded. Nerves-" He let out a small moan as the subway approached them. 

"It's okay, Alec. I'm right beside you. I will be the entire time. Hold my hand if you have to, okay? You'll be fine. I believe in you," Magnus held out a hand for Alec to take as the door to the train opened. "Take my hand, Alexander. And don't let go."

Alec looked down at Magnus' hand, taking a deep breath before taking it in his own hand. Together, they stepped into the train and miraculously found a seat. Once Alec was seated, he had let go of Magnus' hand and his leg began to bounce as more people stepped into the train. He moaned, gripping the legs of his jeans until his knuckles turned white. 

Magnus gently slipped his hand under Alec's and rubbed his thumb along the back of it. "You're doing wonderful. I'm jealous of how brave you are."

Alec grunted. "Yeah? Why?"

Magnus leaned in so Alec could hear him better over the noise around them. "Because I could never be this brave. Not even if I had to be. But you....you're like a knight in shining armor. Bravely riding into battle."

Alec shivered. It wasn't the cold that made him do so. It wasn't even his nerves. It was Magnus' breath. Hot and heavy against the side of his neck and ear, he struggled to compose himself as Magnus leaned away to look out the window behind them. Even when he did pull away, Alec could still feel it on his skin. Like an imprint.

The train eventually slowed and the doors opened, people pouring both in and out. Alec followed close behind Magnus, their hands still entwined so he wouldn't get separated in the crowd. His hand was even still squeezing Magnus' when they went up the stairs and Alec found himself looking at downtown New York. The flashing lights, the loud cars, people talking, the smell of gas and greasy food-

"Hey. Are you going to be okay?" Magnus asked. 

Alec nodded. His free hand was fluttering at his side, clenching and unclenching. "No. Not-not really but Alec try to be okay. For Magnus."

Magnus smiled softly. "Okay. Just let me know when you're getting overwhelmed and we'll go straight home. Now. I'll follow you so wherever you need to go, I'm right here. Sound good?"

Alec gave him a thumbs up. The first store he needed to go to was one of Isabelle's favorites shoe stores in the city. He'd been here with her a few times, and he hoped the cashier that he liked was working today. 

Sure enough, Maia was the register helping a customer. When she saw Alec step into the store, she beamed and waved happily. "Alec! Hi! Long time no see!"

Alec smiled as her curls bounced when she raced towards him and hugged him tightly. He groaned. "M-Maia. Alec doesn't like to be touched without consent."

Maia quickly backed away. "Sorry. I keep forgetting. I'm not being ignorant or anything. I swear," she smiled up at him. "Where's your sister? I thought she'd be in here getting some new boots."

Alec was too busy looking at the boots lined up on the wall to even be listening to Maia, who talked almost as much as Isabelle did. Plus her curls were very distracting. No wonder they were such good friends. "Izzy get shoes here, yeah Maia? What size is-is Izzy?"

Maia stopped talking. "She's a 7 or 8, I think. Doing a bit of Christmas shopping, huh? Don't worry. I won't tell her what you got. I promise," she smiled. "Follow me. I know the perfect pair for your sister. She'll love them."

Magnus watched as Alec reluctantly followed behind Maia as she led him near the back of the store. Everything here looked expensive. He bet if he looked at a price tag, a pair of shoes would cost more than his pay check at the office. 

He casually leaned over and read a tag. $375. He immediately regret taking a look at the tag as his stomach dropped to the floor. How can anyone afford anything in this place? But then he remembered that the Lightwood's had money and lots of it. Four hundred dollars probably didn't even make a dent into their family fortune. Plus Alec probably didn't think of how much money he even had. Magnus doubted Alec was even fully aware of his family's enormous funds, which probably explained how he was able to pay for his rent and for all of his bills (must be nice have a rich, successful father providing for you). Maybe he didn't care about money like the way he didn't care if his hair was combed or not. 

A few moments later, Alec was at the cash register paying for an expensive looking box of shoes. He took his wallet out and from where Magnus stood, he saw a platinum card being swiped into the machine and felt a twinge of jealousy go through him. He wondered what it was like to be able to have money and buy what you wanted when you wanted it. But he couldn't be jealous of Alec. Alec was more than likely unaware of his financial status. Being jealous would just be ridiculous. 

"There you go, Alec. All set. Where you headed next? Anywhere in particular?" Maia propped the bag with the shoes into the counter and jumped over it with ease. A fellow coworker scowled at her but she didn't seem to notice or care. 

"Uh....Alec n-not sure yet. Still thinking very hard," Alec licked his lower lip and scratched his head. "Where can Alec find s-science things for kids?"

"Science toys? I'd say Toys R Us. They probably have a nice supply of them there. Check it out and see," Maia suggested. "Well I hope you guys have a wonderful evening-and you!" She pointed to Magnus. "I'm so sorry for just noticing you now. What's your name?"

Magnus stuck out a hand for her to shake. "Magnus. I'm here with Alec giving him a helping hand."

Maia smirked. "So you're the Magnus Bane I keep hearing about."

Magnus was stunned for a moment. "You....keep hearing about me? From whom?"

Maia zipped her lips. "Happy holidays, gentleman. I'll see you, Alec, at your parent's Christmas party on the 25th."

Alec waved as they stepped out of the store. "Bye Maia. Byeeeeee," he giggled as she blew him a kiss. "Maia is nice. So nice. Izzy's best friend g-growing up. Toys R Us next, okay? Magnus?"

Magnus laughed as Alec pulled him along. "Look at you, all eager to do some Christmas shopping. I would never have said you were nervous to go earlier judging by the way you're acting right now. What's the rush?"

Alec pointed to the clock up on one of the billboards. "Stores close soon. Need-need to get Max's gift."

Toys R Us was jam packed with parents and kids as they entered the store. To Magnus, they both kind of looked out of place with no child in sight, but they probably weren't the only adults here with no kids. Although Magnus did think about having kids one day. He loved them. He always dreamed of having two boys with someone-

Alec groaned softly. "Wow. Lots of people here. Can Alec d-do this?"

"Alec can do this. Magnus can too," Magnus chuckled. Alec was scanning the crowd, quickly looking down when someone passed by. "Come on. Let's go find Max a cool science kit so he can be more of a little snot than he is now."

Alec snorted as Magnus called Max a little snot. It was true, for the most part. Since meeting Magnus at Halloween, he started to get really bratty, slipping little comments about Alec here and there. It agitated Magnus more so than it bothered Alec but being so used to it, Alec just brushed it right off. Nothing much phased him anymore. 

"There's like a million aisles here. We'll never find what you're looking for before closing time....." Magnus glanced at Alec. "You're not going to like what I'm about to suggest."

Alec groaned. He had a pretty good idea what Magnus meant. "Split up. Right? C-cover more aisles that way. Right Magnus?"

"If you don't mind, that is. If it makes you uncomfortable then we can stick together-"

"No, no. Alec is okay. Magnus make good point. Find Max's science kit faster that way," Alec pointed to an aisle. "Alec start here. Magnus go down a f-few."

As Magnus moved a few aisles down, Alec stepped into his own aisle and looked around at the shelves for any sign of a science kit. What kind of kit Max had in mind, he had no idea. If it looked 'sciencey' then that's what he was going to pick up. Max can complain all he wants on Christmas morning. At least Alec can say he tried. 

A quiet sob caught Alec's attention. It sounded like it was coming from the aisle next to his, so he took a quick peek. On the floor sat a little girl with chocolate curls and cream coloured skin. She was crying and clutching a doll in her arms, her little body shaking as she sobbed. 

Alec looked around. There were no sign of her parents being around. Feeling oddly brave (and because she was just a child), he took a step towards her and knelt down so that he appeared smaller to her and didn't seem quite as imposing. "L-little girl? Why are you crying?"

The girl finally took notice of his presence and jumped in fright. To Alec's surprise, she signed something out to him. "You scared me. I didn't hear you walk over to me."

Alec was in his element right now. Almost too eagerly, he signed back, "Sorry. Didn't mean to frighten you. Are you autistic too? Like me?"

The little girl scrunched her small face in confusion. "No. I'm deaf. How do you know sign language?"

"I learned it so I can communicate easier with other people. Not many people know how to sign, though. So it's difficult to say what I want and have other people understand me."

The little girl nodded. Alec marvelled at the way her little hands signed so quickly. She was almost as fast as he was, if not just a little faster. "Yeah. It's hard sometimes. My mommy and daddy are still learning so it's hard to talk to them sometimes. But they're learning fast."

Alec looked up and down the aisle. "Where are your parents? Did you get separated from them?"

The girl nodded. "A crowd of people pushed past us and I lost my grip on mommy's hand. Came back here because it was the last aisle we were in."

Alec frowned before taking a spot on the floor next to her. He wanted to stretch out his legs but it was a narrow aisle and he was too long for it. "I'm Alec. What's your name?"

"Theresa Gray. But you can call me Tessa. All my friends do," Tessa smiled sweetly. Her eyes were gray when she looked up at Alec. "Did you get separated from your parents too?"

Alec laughed. "No. I'm here with a friend. We're looking for a science kit for my little brother for Christmas. Have you seen anything like that here?"

Tessa suddenly got to her feet and raced up the aisle, grabbing something off a shelf before running back to Alec. She held out a large box in her tiny hands, offering it to him. Once Alec took it, she signed "Is this what you're looking for?"

Alec gasped. "Yes! Thank you! You don't even know me yet you decided to help me. Why?"

Tessa shrugged. "You're helping me so I thought I'd do the same for you. Even if you are a stranger."

A voice calling out Tessa's name made Alec look up. A man and a woman rushed over to where they were seated on the floor and gathered Tessa in their arms. They regarded Alec with a watchful eye as he stood up. 

"Who are you?" asked the father. 

Alec squeezed his hands nervously. "Alec. Tess-Tessa was lost. Alec kept her company until p-parents. Come. Tessa's dad?" 

The man didn't relax as Alec pointed to him but the woman did. "It's okay, honey. Alec made sure our daughter was safe. He didn't hurt you, did he sweetie?" The woman signed to Tessa. 

"No mommy. Alec is really nice. He was looking for a science kit for his little brother when he heard me crying. He kept me company while we waited for you," Tessa signed, smiling so sweetly up at Alec that he nearly melted into a puddle. "Can we go home now? I'm tired."

The man picked up his daughter before looking at Alec and nodding his head. "I'm Richard. This is my wife Elizabeth. Thank you for keeping an eye on my daughter. Not many people would've done that."

Alec shrugged, staring at the floor. He wished Magnus would show up right now and do the talking for him. He was starting to feel awkward and uncomfortable. 

"Daddy?" Tessa said out loud. Then she signed, "Alec is autistic. Like Nate."

Richard smiled. "Is he, now? That's neat. We've never met anyone else with autism here in the city. It's hard to try to go to meetings. Especially when we're low income and gas isn't cheap. We live in Brooklyn so travel isn't easy. Especially when our son gets motion sickness. Plus we can't even afford to get Tessa the hearing aids that she desparately needs."

Elizabeth nodded. "And we don't think we can really afford gifts for the kids this year. It breaks our heart. Imagine a child waking up Christmas morning and looking under the tree where there's no gifts underneath."

Alec never had motion sickness before. He heard of a few kids getting it in cars and on rides at the carnival but he never experienced it. "G-get sick, yeah? Throw up."

"Yeah. It's pretty bad," Elizabeth whispered. "Well....thanks again, Alec. We're grateful for you watching over our little Theresa. Merry Christmas."

Alec watched them walk away, with little Tessa waving a tiny hand at him. Alec waved back, fingers flapping. 

"Did you find it? I looked down every aisle and didn't find a thing," Magnus spoke up. When he saw the box in Alec's hand, he breathed out heavily. "Oh thank god. You found one. What kind is it?"

Alec let the box be taken out of his hands. His mind was reeling with questions and ideas that he didn't even hear Magnus when he asked a question. "Magnus? Christmas is-is a time for miracles, yeah?"

Magnus nodded. "Sure. Anything can happen on Christmas. Why?"

Alec scratched his jaw, feeling stubble there. "Alec wants t-to help out a family in need. Magnus help Alec figure out how?"

Feeling his heart fill with joy, Magnus smiled and nodded. "I'd love to help you. Feeling a little bit of Christmas spirit, are you big guy?"

Alec blushed. "Yeah....a little bit. Alec start helping now, okay? S-starting with some toys for girls and boys." He rubbed at his arms and squinted. "No-no child should wake up Christmas morning to no gifts under the tree. That's sad. Alec help make th-those kids be happy, yeah?"

"I think what you're doing is wonderful. You're going to make a family very happy this Christmas, Alec. You're doing a good thing and I'm so proud of you," Magnus rubbed Alec's back and smiled as Alec hummed low in his throat. "Come on. Let's pick out some toys for these lucky kids. Alec Claus is coming to town."


	21. Twenty One

"I got us all matching sweaters-"

The older Lightwood siblings groaned in protest as Maryse set a box down in front of them in the living room of the Lightwood home. The only one who seemed the most interested was Xavier, who sniffed at the box in curiosity. 

"Mom, please don't make us wear matching Christmas sweaters," Jace whined. "I'm a grown man. I have an image to keep. My girlfriend thinks I'm badass-"

"No she doesn't! She thinks you're a moron!" Isabelle hit him in the face with a pillow. Jace pressed a hand to her face to push her away and she yelled, biting his thumb. 

Meanwhile, Alec was sitting on the leather couch, rocking back and forth and humming a Christmas carol as the lights on the Christmas tree changed colors in attempt to drown out the noise. Green. Red. Gold. Silver. Repeat. 

"What's wrong with matching sweaters? I think they're cute!" said Maryse. 

"You're the only one who does. Maybe dad does too. Or maybe he just goes along with it because you're scary when you're mad-Izzy stop hitting me with the pillow!" Jace growled. He threw Isabelle over his shoulder and tossed her to the other end of the couch, with her laughing the entire time. 

"I don't mind the sweaters, mom. If they make you happy, then they make me happy too," Max smiled. He was more than likely kissing up to Maryse in hopes of an early present. 

Maryse kissed him on the forehead. "I'm glad someone does out of my four children. I guess one out of four isn't a total failure....Alec? Sweetie, what do you think of mumma's sweaters?"

Alec was still humming and watching the lights change color. It was only when Xavier put a paw on his lap did he break out of his trance. He turned his head. "Hmm? What did mumma say?"

Maryse lift the box labelled "Sweaters for the Kids". "What do you think of my matching sweaters I got for you guys?"

Alec glanced at Jace and Isabelle. Isabelle shook her head, mouthing 'no' while Jace made a gun to his head and pretended to shoot himself. "Alec doesn't mind them. They're cozy."

Isabelle and Jace groaned in unison as Maryse clapped her hands. "Perfect! It's settled. You're wearing the sweaters. Any complaints you have, keep them to yourself. I don't want to hear it-Jace! Are you listening to me?"

"It's kinda hard not to...." Jace whispered. Isabelle snickered beside him. "Just give me the least embarrassing one and I'll wear it with pride."

Maryse pulled out a red sweater and opened it. It had a cat on it with the phrase 'Meowy Christmas!' on it. "Ta-da! This one is yours. You love cats so I picked it out just for you."

Jace took it and looked it over, up and down. "I'm suddenly a dog person...."

Maryse swat his shoulder. "Oh, stop it. It's cute. Clary will love it when she sees it on you. It's a manly sweater." She reached into the box and pulled out a green one. "Isabelle, this one is yours. I saw it and immediately thought of you."

Cautiously, Isabelle opened her sweater up with a cringe. Hers had a snowman on it with the phrase 'There's snow place like home' above the snowman. "Oh.....cute. Thanks. This is so me, mom."

"Yeah, just make a cut along here so the neckline is super low-" Jace began to choke when Isabelle poked him roughly in the throat. 

Maryse wasn't paying any attention. She had moved onto Max, who was given a red sweater with an elf on it that read 'Believe in yoursELF'. "For my little Mighty Max. Because you're cute and small like an elf."

Max smiled up at her. "I love it. Thanks mom."

Jace poked him with his foot, earning himself a scowl from his baby brother. "You can stop sucking up to mom, you know. I've seen what she got you for Christmas. Big fat lump of coal-"

"Mom! Jace is saying you and dad got me coal for Christmas!" Max yelled. 

Alec moaned and covered his ears. There was a headache beginning to form in his temples, and the more they talked, the more painful it became. He pressed his palms against them in hopes of rubbing it away. 

"Alec? Baby, what's wrong?" Maryse rubbed her son's back in small circles. "You have another headache, don't you. Mumma's gonna go get you a pill and some water, okay? Stay there."

When she disappeared around the corner, Max went over and stood in front of Alec. "What's wrong with him?" He more or less asked Jace and Isabelle. 

"He has a headache. He gets them when he's stressed or when there's too much going on around him. Come sit next to me, bubba. I wanna see your ugly sweater," Isabelle waved a hand, but Max had other ideas. Isabelle sighed when he started to poke Alec. "Max, you know your brother doesn't like to be touched."

"Why? It's so stupid. All the kids at school think he's weird and they know I'm his brother. So that makes me weird too." He continued to poke Alec, whose eyes were shut tight and fists were clenched, knuckles pressed against his temples. "Mom and dad pay more attention to him than us, you know. When he's here, we're pretty much invisible-

"Maxwell Joseph. You watch your mouth. That's your brother you're talking about," Jace snapped angrily. "Apologize right now to him."

Max reached over to poke Alec again when a long fingered hand whipped out and grabbed his wrist. He screamed in fright, tears rolling down his face almost immediately. "Mom! Mommy! Alec's grabbed me and he won't let go!"

Isabelle raced over just when Xavier began to growl a warning low in his throat, slowly moving between his boy and Max, and whispered comfortingly into Alec's ear. "Alec, you're hurting Max. Let go of his wrist. Gently....."

Alec still had Max in his grip when Maryse came back into the room. All the blood drained from her face when she saw Max crumpled to the floor and Alec's strong hand wrapped around his small wrist. "Isabelle....what's Alec doing?"

"Shhh," Isabelle hissed. "Alec.....please let go of our brother's arm. Can't you see you're hurting him?"

Something flickered in Alec's dark eyes. Recognition, almost. Recognition and realization. Gasping, he released Max from his grip and jumped to his feet, beginning to pace back and forth. "Oh nooooo.....nononono. Alec hurt Max? Max okay?"

Maryse had Max on her lap and was checking his small wrist. "It's bruised. It could be sprained but there's no way to tell without an X-ray."

Alec let out a whine and hit his forehead. "Stupid Alec. Couldn't-couldn't take no more noise and p-poking. Nerve overload. Cord snapped. Snapped," he tugged at his shirt to demonstrate how it 'snapped'. "Izzy? Take Alec home now please. Had-had enough for today. No more."

Isabelle rubbed his back comfortingly. "Shhh. I know, bud. I'll drive you home. Mom?"

"I heard. Go on. I'll take Max to the hospital to see if his wrist is sprained or not. Jace, you're with me," Maryse ordered like a General in the army. "I hope you feel better soon, Alec."

Alec groaned as his mother walked past, Max in her arms. His little brother didn't dare look him in the eyes, and Alec didn't dare to do the same. He knew what he'd done. Eventually, he'd face the consequences for it. 

"Izzy....will Alec get in trouble for hurting Max?" He whispered once his mother and brothers were gone. 

Isabelle frowned. "I'm not sure, Alec. I'd be lying if I said no, but there's a good chance you could be. But Max can't exactly press charges so....."

Alec knew what that meant. He'd heard it on a lot of cop shows before. "Mumma wouldn't p-press charges. Would she?"

Isabelle shook her head. "No. But she may be a little mad at you the next time she sees you. Are you okay with that?"

No. He wasn't. But if that was his punishment for hurting Max, then so be it. "Yeah. Alec deserve to be punished for what he did."

There was a look in Isabelle's eyes that Alec couldn't quite understand. It wasn't sadness. It wasn't even anger. It was unreadable, as far as he could tell, and he wished he would just be honest with him about how she felt. There was nothing more confusing than trying to understand how other people felt. "Alec....can I ask why you did it?"

Alec bit his lip. That was a good question. Why did he do it? He never grabbed anyone. Not even when he was annoyed. He'd just shut them out like he did with everything else. "Alec doesn't know. Got overwhelmed. Over-overstimulated. Too much sound. Lights. Max kept...." He poked himself to demonstrate. "T-too much to handle. Alec snapped."

Isabelle nodded. "Okay."

"Okay? That's-that's it? Izzy not mad?"

"I can't be mad, Alec. You were trying to make him stop. It was practically self-defence. I don't know. I'm just....." She sighed heavily. She looked and sounded so tired. Alec wanted to give her a hug but it went against everything he hated doing. 

So that's exactly what he did. 

Gathering every ounce of courage he had, Alec took a step over to his sister and slowly wrapped her in a hug, his long arms enveloping her completely. 

"Alec sorry, Izzy. Very sorry. For-for being a....screw up. Yeah. Alec screwed up bad."

Isabelle said nothing. She said nothing mainly because she was too shocked by his sudden hug that it rendered her completely speechless. This was the first time Alec ever initiated a hug first. At least to to her, anyway. She almost didn't want to say anything in case he broke away in fright. For now, she just wanted to feel her big brother's strong arms around her; protecting her like she'd been protecting him all these years. 

"Izzy? Did you hear Alec? What he said?"

"Mmhm. I did. I'm too busy enjoying your hug to say anything back. Sorry," she chuckled. She felt Alec's deep rumble of a laugh against her ear as she pressed her face into his chest. He smelled like cologne and vanilla body wash. "You're not a screw up, big brother. You made a mistake. It's not your fault."

"How is it not Alec's fault? Alec gr-grabbed Max. Just Alec."

"Yes. But Max should've known better. We told him you didn't like it but he kept on doing it."

Alec groaned. "Yeah. Alec still feel bad though." He pat Isabelle on the head. "Drop Alec off at home now, Izzy? Got to do stuff. Christmas things. Call Alec when Max get home? If he's okay?"

"Will do. I'll tell him you said sorry and that you feel bad. How does that sound?" Alec hummed and nodded. "Don't feel bad, big guy. Like I said. It wasn't your fault. You got overwhelmed. It happens to all of us."

"Even to n-normal people with no autism?"

"Even normal people with no autism. We all get overwhelmed sometimes, Alec. And we all have different ways of reacting to it. So don't feel bad and don't beat yourself up about it either. Literally or figuratively."

Shrugging, Alec took his coat out from the closet. He'd find some way to punish himself later when no one was around. "Izzy? Magnus can come to Christmas party, yeah?"

"Of course he can! He's practically family now anyway, we see him that often. Why do you ask?" She smirked. "Are you guys dating?"

If only. "No. Magnus won't date Alec. Says-says he can't. Won't tell Alec why," Alec scratched his chin. "That's okay. Alec so over Magnus. Ugh."

Isabelle snorted at the expression on his face. "You're so cute. Did anyone ever tell you that lately? Because it's true. You're too precious for this world."

"Izzzz. Stop," Alec moaned as Isabelle tried to kiss his cheek. "Bring Alec home now, Iz. Please. Before Alec barf."

Isabelle feigned a gasp. "Rude! I can't believe you just-so rude!"

Alec giggled as Isabelle laughed, his insides feeling like they were getting eaten from the inside out because of the lie he told her. He said he was over Magnus. 

He wasn't. 

\----------

"Magnus. Phone call on line three," Aline piped up from her cubicle. 

Magnus stopped typing. "For me? Seriously?"

"You're the only Magnus here, aren't you?" She retorted. Fair enough. 

He picked up line three. "Magnus Bane speaking. How may I help you?"

"It's Isabelle, Magnus. Cut the formalities."

His heart sunk. Something happened to Alec. That was the first thing that came to mind when he heard her voice. That's why she was calling. To say something happened. "Hi. Is anything wrong? Is Alec okay?"

"Alec's fine. I just dropped him off home. He....hurt Max earlier. Grabbed his wrist."

Magnus rubbed a hand over his face. "Is he okay? Max, I mean."

"Not sure yet. Mom thinks his wrist is sprained. There's definitely a bruise though. Alec is beyond devastated with what he's done."

"I don't blame him," Magnus whispered. "What was Max doing to make him do that? He's never violent. He'd never hurt a fly."

A pause. "Max was poking him, even when we told him not to. Then he went on and said that the kids at his school think Alec is weird. I guess....I don't know. Something in Alec snapped. It was fucking scary, Magnus. There was a darkness in Alec's eyes that I've never seen before. It scared the shit out of me. Jace too."

Trying to imagine a darkness in Alec was like trying to imagine a puppy not being precious and pure. Magnus just couldn't picture it. "Maybe he's had enough of it, Isabelle. Of the teasing. The bullying-"

"Hold on," Magnus winced as he heard brakes screech on her end. "Bullying? Who's bullying him? What has he told you?"

"It's not what he told me. It's what I've seen. There's a few students at the university that corner him and harass him. I've seen it. I've actually had to step in and tell them to leave him alone."

She sighed heavily. To him, she sounded exhausted to the bone. "So that probably explains that night he called me and said he had nightmares."

"It would also explain why he was poking himself. That's what those students were doing to him. Pushing and poking," Magnus began to tap his pen on his desktop. "You said he was home, right?"

"Yeah. I just dropped him and Xavier off. Why?"

Magnus held the phone between his ear and shoulder as he slipped on his coat. "I'm coming over. He needs someone with him right now, Isabelle. He can't be alone. Not when he's in a state like that. He could do something to himself."

Isabelle snorted wryly. "Are you suggesting my brother might try to hurt himself?"

Magnus paused. "No. But he might try to hurt himself somehow. Maybe he thinks he deserves to be punished after what he did to Max."

Isabelle swore. "Dammit. That didn't even come to my mind. And I'm already jammed in traffic. How far are you from his apartment?"

"I can be there in fifteen."

"Go. Now. And call me when you get there and if he's okay or not."

Exactly fifteen minutes later, Magnus was slipping the key into the door to Alec's apartment. It was eerily quiet. Xavier didn't even come to the door, which struck Magnus as odd because Xavier always came to the door to see who entered his territory. 

"Alec? It's me. Where are you?" Magnus sang out. When no one answered, worry began to set in as he searched the rooms. When he finally looked into the bathroom, he saw Xavier laying by the bathtub, snoozing on the floor. Alec was in the tub, fully clothed, arms wrapped around his legs and his forehead resting on his knees. 

"Jesus, Alec. You scared the shit out of me. Why didn't you answer when I called your name?" Magnus put down the cover to the toilet and sat on top of it. It was only when Alec didn't answer when he spoke again. "Isabelle told me what happened. You want to talk about it?"

Alec didn't look up, but shook his head in response. 

"Well if you're not going to start talking, then I will. I'm not going to force you to talk about something if you don't feel like it, okay?" He sighed heavily into a hand. "Did I ever tell you the story of how I was homeless for a few months? I don't think I did....but yeah. Just after I finished nursing school, I was broke. Student loans to pay and no job to help pay them. No one was hiring and I had no one to live with. No friends. No family. My mom refused to let me live with her at the time for whatever reason. Something to do with alcohol, more than likely."

Alec stirred in the tub, leaning in closer so he could listen to the story better.

"The streets aren't a nice place to be, Alec. Especially if you're living on them. Stuff happens-I won't say what-but scary stuff happens at night." Magnus shuddered at the memory. "It was cold. I remember that much. Cold and it smelled really bad. Food was scarce, too. I got lucky sometimes if a restaurant threw out some food that might've went bad. But the hardest part was trying to find a place to sleep."

Alec tilted his head. "Homeless shelter?"

"I went there, but you were only allowed to stay there for three days tops. Then you had to go. Speaking of, I met my employer there. He was volunteering at the soup kitchen. We talked for a bit, and that's when he hooked me up with a job and a place to live. If it wasn't for him, I'd still be on the street. Or worse."

Letting his hand rest over the side of the tub, Alec ran his fingers over Xavier's ears, which twitched when they were touched. "Alec glad Magnus not on street anymore. Not-not safe out there. No. No protection."

Magnus shook his head. "I agree with you on that one. There's no protection at all."

Alec wiggled his nose like a bunny (which Magnus thought was really cute). "Alec would've protected Magnus. Protect him from everything."

The sincerity in Alec's voice almost made Magnus burst into tears. It wasn't very often anyone cared for him like this, but it was clear that Alec cared very deeply for him. Maybe even more than he wanted to admit. He didn't have to look into Alec's eyes to know that he meant every word. He could hear it. 

"Thanks...that means a lot coming from you. My own mom didn't even care for me when all this went down, so yeah...thank you," Magnus said, clearing his throat. "Listen. Uh....are you going to stay in the tub all afternoon?"

Alec looked around him before shaking his head. "No. Alec only got here b-because it felt safe at the time. Now it's just silly."

Magnus snorted as he watched Alec's long frame struggle to get out. "You need a hand or do I have to tie a rope around your waist and haul you out?"

Alec smirked at the floor. "Not-not funny. Alec got this...." When he was finally out, he stretched and cracked his limbs. "See? Alec had this in the-the bag."

"Oh wow. You're so cool now, Alec. You're almost too cool for me," Magnus grinned as Alec pushed him playfully out in the hallway. "So you're okay, right? You feel better."

"Yeah. Much better now that Magnus came here. Staying? Stay for cocoa."

Alec already had two mugs down from the cupboard before Magnus could reply. "I wish I could. But I actually skipped off work to come and check on you so I have to head back....no doubt I'm getting a dock in pay."

"Oh," said Alec, obviously disappointed. "Okay. Maybe when you come over later, yeah? Alec make cocoa." He set the mugs off to the side. He'd save them for later that afternoon. 

"Sounds like a plan, Superman." Magnus paused by the front door, turning to look at Alec again. "If I hadn't come....what were you going to do?"

Alec cocked his head. "What does Magnus mean?"

"I mean....if I hadn't shown up to check on you. What were you going to do to yourself?"

Alec slowly blinked, finally realizing what Magnus meant. "Nothing that Magnus would b-be too proud of."

That was the only answer Magnus needed to hear.


	22. Twenty Two

Christmas Day hit, and Alec found himself sitting back in his childhood home watching his family open gifts and chatting excitedly. He didn't feel the same excitement as they did. He couldn't. Not when Max's arm was in a sling, wrapped up in a bandage. The guilt was eating at him like a parasite and the longer he watched as his brother opened his presents with one hand, the more he felt like he was going to vomit. 

"Aren't you gonna open your presents?" Isabelle said to him. "You barely even said a word since you got here."

Alec shook his head. He didn't feel like talking. If he opened his mouth to say something, anything, he was going to throw up. That much he knew. 

Isabelle shrugged. "Suit yourself. This one is from Magnus. Looks like it could be something good...." She said in a singsong voice. 

At the mention of Magnus, he perked up and looked down at the present sitting at his feet. It was a red coloured box with a green ribbon tied around it, attached to the ribbon was a tag that read "To Alexander From Magnus (do NOT shake this box)". 

"Even comes with instructions. Nice," Isabelle snorted. "Open it. I'm dying to know what it is."

"It's not even Izzy's gift," Alec frowned, gently pushing her away. "Go away. Busy-busybody."

Offended, Isabelle shuffled back over to the tree where the rest of their family was. At least this way, she could give Alec a bit of privacy as he opened up the very special gift. She knew what it was; she'd known for over a month. Magnus had told her the day he bought the gift what it was, and made her swear not to tell her brother, which she didn't. Knowing Alec, he was going to love the gift. 

Carefully undoing the ribbon, Alec peeled off the material before unwrapping the paper around the box. Beneath the colorful wrapping paper was a brown box. Lifting the cover off this box, Alec peered inside to see tissue paper. He frowned, reaching in and taking it out to reveal what was really inside. He gasped just loud enough for his family to hear. 

"Alec? What's wrong?" Maryse said. 

Isabelle smirked. "Nothing's wrong, mom. He just saw what his gift from Magnus was. You'll see."

Alec reached into the box and gently removed a record from inside. It was The Beatles first ever album, and it looked to be in perfect condition, as did the record itself when he carefully took it out to look it over. The album cover was the original artwork and much to Alec's surprise, it even had their first ever single "Love Me Do". 

"Oh wow...." Robert breathed. Of course, Alec wasn't surprised that his dad showed an interest in his present. "Holy moly. This is the original album artwork. Where did Magnus get something like this? You'd never find this in a record store. Never. Can I have a look, son?"

"Daddy, for the love of God. Let Alec admire his gift. You can look at it later. Can't you tell he's speechless right now?" Isabelle pushed her father away, giving Alec some space. 

Everyone looked at Alec and watched as he admired his present. He sat quietly in his spot on the couch, holding the record in his hands and running his fingers over the cover. Yes, he was speechless. There were no words that could actually describe how happy he felt. All of his gifts were lovely and he appreciated them (whatever they were. He didn't even open the ones from his family yet) but nothing could top this one. Nothing. 

"Alec....are you okay? You look a little stunned...." Isabelle stroked her brother's hair back. 

Alec nodded. "Yeah....just a little speechless. Alec wasn't ex-expecting something like this from Magnus. Alec feel bad now."

"Why do you feel bad? I know what you got Magnus and I think he's going to love it," Isabelle said. "Call him later on and ask if he liked it. He'll be happy to hear from you today."

Alec finally looked up from the record. "Izzy think so?"

Isabelle nodded. "I know so. Plus it's the Christmas party this evening. He'll be here then too. You can thank him again in person."

Alec looked back down at the record and nodded. He wanted to call Magnus now but it was too early in the morning. Magnus was probably still asleep. "Izzy? Pass Alec another gift. Alec will open p-presents too."

Isabelle smiled broadly. She reached under the tree and took out another one of his gifts, this one being from their mother. "I knew you'd come around," she said. "Nothing like a little Magnus Bane magic to put you into the Christmas mood."

\----------

Magnus was actually awake. He had woken up at around 7, made some coffee and turned on the weather network to see what the forecast was for today. -9, windchill -14. It was going to be a cold one today. 

Bundled up with his quilt, he stretched out along his couch and turned on his phone. No messages from anyone. Not even a Merry Christmas from Alec. But then he figured that Alec was busy with his family, opening gifts and everything. He'd probably call later when they were finished. 

He wondered if Alec opened his gift yet. He knew the moment he saw the record at his mother's place last month that this was the perfect gift for Alec. It had belonged to Magnus' father before he died, and it hadn't been touched ever since. With careful hands and the right tools, he cleaned it and wrapped it up. He even left instruction for Alec not to shake it, which would've been a very Alec-like thing to do. Hopefully he saw the tag and listened. The last thing he wanted to hear was the record was broken. 

Just when he was beginning to doze off again, his phone began to vibrate on the coffee table beside him. He took a quick peek at the screen. It was Alec. He picked up. "Merry Christmas, Alec!"

Alec was quiet for a moment. "Oh. Merry-Merry Christmas, Magnus. Open Alec's gift yet?"

He had a gift from Alec? He didn't remember ever being given one....but then he remembered Isabelle dropping off gifts to family and friends the week before. "Uh....I just woke up. Never had a chance to do it yet. Did you open yours?"

"Mmhmm," Alec said. "Th-thank you for the record. Alec was shocked when he saw what it was in the box."

Magnus laughed. "You didn't shake it, did you?"

"I told him not to!" A voice chimed in. It was Isabelle. "Knowing him, he would've shook that until it looked like broken potato chips when he opened it up."

Alec groaned. "Izzzzz. Go away. Alec on-on the phone with Magnus."

"No. Put him on speaker. He's my my friend too. Aren't you, Mags?"

"Sure. I guess so," Magnus shrugged, thankful she couldn't see him doing so. 

"What do you mean, you guess so? You've known me just as long as you've known Alec. We're practically besties!"

"Yeah but I'm around Alec a lot more so technically he's my bestie." He cringed as he said this. It sounded so much better in his head than it did out loud. 

"Ha!" Alec said, giggling. "Magnus is Alec's bestie. Tech-technically that's a win for Alec."

Isabelle must've stuck out her tongue and blew a raspberry at him because that's what it sounded like on Magnus' end of the line. "You're both mean. Alec was never salty until you came along, Bane. You've ruined my precious and pure brother."

"Goodbye, Isabelle. I'll see you at the party tonight. And I'll see you too, Alec. I'm going to go get your gift and open it. I'll tell you what I thought of it when I see you later tonight."

"Okay," Alec simply said. "Be honest too. Alec looked long and hard for perfect gift for Magnus." He paused, probably considering what to say next. "Magnus?.....I hope you enjoy your gift."

Magnus felt his heart jump into his throat. "I know I will. See you later, big guy."

"See you later, Magnus." Then the line went dead. 

He then went into his room and opened his closet door, seeing a green wrapped present sitting where he put his shoes. He picked it up and took a seat on the edge of his bed and unwrapped it. 

Inside was the most beautiful windchime he'd ever seen in his life. Dangling from a silver rod were several small circles that looked a lot like records (upon further inspection, he discovered that they were records. Just smaller versions of them). They tinkled as they brushed up against the hollow silver cylinders, creating a soothing sound that made Magnus smile broadly. It was a beautiful gift. It kind of made him feel bad for just giving Alec a record when he received something as gorgeous as this. 

He almost picked up his phone and considered calling Alec to say thank you, but something like this needed to be shown thanks in person. A phone call or a text didn't have the same effect as it did when said in person. 

So he decided to wait until tonight. 

\----------

"Where is he?" Magnus asked as he stepped in through the Lightwood manor's doors later that evening. The house, as usual, was decorated from top to bottom and the halls smelled of gingerbread and mint. Two of his favorite things. 

"What, no hello Jace I've missed you greatly? You look as handsome as ever?" Jace smirked as Magnus scowled at him. "Alec's up in his room, if that's what you wanted to hear. Was kind of hoping you came to the party to see little old me though, seeing how I'm your favorite Lightwood and all."

"Merry Christmas to you too, Jace." Truthfully, Magnus never heard a word Jace said. His mind was too focused on the fact that Alec was just a floor above him. A staircase away from him. He had been thinking about what he wanted to say all day and when he finally decided, he was only too eager for the party. 

"Right...." Jace nodded. "His room is the second last door on your right. His anxiety was bad today so our mom let him skip the party. He'll be glad to see you, though. He's been waiting for you to come all day."

The second last door on the right was a door that was a lighter color than the walls of the hallway. Magnus could hear gentle music coming from inside, and it was only when he pressed an ear to the door did he realize that it was the Beatles album he was hearing, and Alec was listening to "Love Me Do". He smiled, knocking on the door three times before entering. 

Alec was perched on the windowsill, the window open and a cold breeze blowing in. He didn't seem to be too bothered with the cold, only turning his head when Magnus stepped into the room. He smiled broadly. "Hiiii. Magnus came t-to one man party."

"Hiiiii," Magnus smirked. "Of course. They're the best kind of parties. Except now there's two men. Not one," he snorted as Alec rolled his eyes. "Jace said you were up here so I decided to pop in for a visit. Hope you don't mind."

"Alec doesn't mind," Alec shook his head and pat the space beside him. "Sit down. Sorry about window. Hot in here." He shifted so that Magnus had more room to sit down. "Did Alec say that Max has a sling now?"

"No, you never told me this. I hope he's doing okay and that he feels better soon," Magnus took a seat beside Alec on the windowsill, trying not to shiver violently. "You don't still blame yourself, do you?"

"Yeah. Everyday. Didn't g-get in trouble though," Alec whispered. He had gotten much better at whispering over the past month. 

The only thing Magnus noticed that Alec wore to keep warm were a pair of baggy gray sweats and a dark green t-shirt. He tried not to notice the way Alec's biceps bulged under his t-shirt when his arms were crossed, so he quickly looked away. "So I see you liked your gift."

Alec nodded. "Yeah. Thank you. Dad liked it too," he chuckled. "What-what about Magnus? Did he like his gift?"

"He did. He hung it in his room above his bed," Magnus smiled. "I love it, Alec. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. Where did you get it?"

"Online," Alec shrugged. "But now Alec feel bad because Magnus got him a lovely gift and he just g-got him a windchime."

"I felt the exact same way! I felt bad for giving you a record after seeing your beautiful gift. I guess we both had similar thoughts." Magnus chuckled as Alec laughed softly. "But seriously. Thank you. I absolutely loved your gift and I hope you liked mine too."

A slight shiver went through Alec as he nodded. "Alec loved the gift. Dad almost took gift be-because he wanted it for himself."

Magnus snorted. "If I had known your dad would like the gift, I would've gotten him one too. Maybe next year."

They both went quiet for a while, the only sound being the record playing on Alec's record player on his shelf. The wind picked up a little bit and Alec's hair blew with it; it now looked even more tousled than it was before. He looked adorable yet extremely handsome at the same time. It took Magnus' breath away. 

"There's something I need to tell you," Magnus said. He was aware of the fact that his voice was barely a croak, but it wasn't because of the cold coming in from the open window. He was very nervous. 

"Okay," Alec nodded. "Wh-what is it?"

Magnus swallowed nervously, running a hand through his hair. "It's...I've been meaning to tell you this for a while. But I made a deal with someone to not say anything to you about it."

Alec squinted, his beautiful dark eyelashes casting a shadow along his cheeks. "About what? What can't Magnus say?"

A sound out on the street grabbed Alec's attention, and he turned his head in the direction of the sound. Magnus inhaled sharply at Alec's side profile. His chiseled jawline looked rather inviting, the skin just below the bone looked so soft and smooth and practically begged Magnus to press his lips against it and suck gently, plus the lord knew that Magnus had a thing for Alec's neck. It was so long and smooth looking and Magnus wanted nothing more than to kiss the vein that ran from Alec's right collarbone to just under his jaw. His cheekbones had a pink blush going across them from the cold, and Alec had gorgeous cheekbones. The line of his throat moved as he swallowed and Magnus couldn't help but imagine feeling Alec hum deeply under his lips as he kissed Alec's throat. 

"Don't-don't know what that sound was," Alec giggled. "It was loud, yeah? Sounded like-"

"I love you."

Alec turned to face Magnus. "What did Magnus say?"

"I said I love you. I loved you for a while now. And I know we only knew each other for a few months, but I can't not be attracted to you," Magnus breathed out a laugh and continued to speak. "I love everything about you. The way you stutter sometimes when you speak. The way you squeeze your hands when you're nervous. I even love when you giggle quietly at something you're thinking about. It's just.....you. I love you, Alexander. And there's no one else I'd rather be sitting beside right now and sharing Christmas with."

Alec was unsure of what to say back. He felt the same way. He had for a while. But it was difficult to express himself and it pained him that he couldn't say anything back to Magnus that was just as meaningful as what Magnus said to him. The only thing he could do was groan softly and grip his fingers tightly. 

"You don't have to say anything back. I just wanted you to know how I felt," Magnus said. "And if you don't feel the same way, then I understand. Feelings come and go." He felt Alec shudder again. "Say the word and I'll back off. If you feel uncomfortable-"

"Don't....." Alec whispered under his breath. 

Magnus pulled away. "Don't what?"

Alec took a fistful of Magnus' shirt and pulled him towards him. "Don't back away." He took a deep breath. "Alec love Magnus too. Just n-not in so many words."

Magnus laughed. "No, I get it. Sometimes love can't be expressed into words. You just have to show it instead." He saw Alec glancing down at his lips and felt a heat rising in his cheeks. "I...I'm glad I told you this. I didn't think I would get another chance to do so."

"Yeah," Alec nodded. He was still watching Magnus' mouth move as he spoke, feeling an urge rise in his stomach up to his heart. "Alec would like to kiss Magnus."

Magnus raised his eyebrows in surprise. "You want to what now?"

Alec tapped his own lips with a finger. "Kiss Magnus. Alec feel has strong feeling here in his heart," he then moved his hand from his lips to his chest, resting it just above his heart. "Magnus okay? With-with Alec kissing?"

Magnus didn't even feel cold anymore. The draft that was blowing in through the window was gone completely as Alec scooted closer to him and leaned in slightly, looking a little nervous. "I'm okay with that. You....you have my consent."

At those familiar words, Alec leaned in and pressed his lips to Magnus', feeling every ounce of nervousness in his body float away like the snowflakes gently floating around outside. He had no reason to be nervous anymore. It was Magnus. Magnus made him forget about the world and everything in it. 

Magnus wasn't sure whose lips were cold. Were they his? Or were they Alec's? He wasn't sure. Nor did he care. The only thing that mattered right now was that the close proximity of Alec made his heart flutter the same way Alec's hands fluttered when he was agitated, the only difference being he wasn't agitated. Far from it. 

Something brushed across his tongue and he pulled back, startled. Alec did the same, his eyes wide. 

"What was that?" Magnus croaked. 

"What was what?" Alec rasped, his voice deeper than usual. 

"That.....was that tongue?!" 

Alec shrugged innocently. "Alec doesn't know what Magnus is talking about."

"Uh huh. You just gave me tongue, Alexander Lightwood. Where did you learn to do that?"

Alec bit his lip. "Alec heard Izzy tell Jace to give Clary tongue when they kissed. So Alec t-thought he'd try with Magnus. Alec sorry...."

Magnus shook his head and held Alec's face gently between his hands. "I didn't say that I didn't like it...."

Alec breathed out through his nose before leaning in again and kissing Magnus, only this time he felt much more confident now that he knew Magnus liked it. 

Magnus could feel this newfound confidence translate into their kiss. He could feel Alec move his lips against his own with much more power and control, and he let Alec lead unless this raven haired beauty said otherwise. 

Neither of them noticed Isabelle quietly slipping her head out of the room with a smile on her face, or the mistletoe hanging above their heads as they kissed for what felt like forever, but they didn't even really need it to begin with.


	23. Twenty Three

When both Alec and Magnus were finished upstairs, Alec managed to find enough courage to change into something decent and go downstairs for the party. At this point, he didn't care how many people were down there. As long as he was with Magnus, he felt brave and calm. 

"You look really nice," Magnus said to him on the way down the huge staircase. "I'm actually surprised that your mom doesn't have matching Christmas sweaters. She practically does for every other holiday."

"She-she does," Alec said back. "Don't remind mumma about them. She'll make us wear them. Jace won't like that."

Magnus zipped his lips. "I won't say a word."

Down in the dining room, there was a crowd of people all gathered around the grand piano as Maryse ran her hands across the keys and played a Christmas song. Magnus was nearly floored by how beautifully she played; Alec probably inherited his musical ability from her. 

When she finished playing, everyone clapped and cheered. She smiled broadly at the crowd as she got to her feet. Once she laid eyes on Alec and Magnus, she immediately made her way over to them through the crowd. 

"Alec! You decided to make an appearance, I see. Change of heart?" She asked, pecking his cheek. 

"Guess so," he grumbled. He wiped his cheek when she turned her back for a moment and remained stoic as she scanned the crowd. "Where's Alec's siblings? Need to talk to them-"

"Later, sweetie. Go play a song for our guests on the piano. Jocelyn's been wanting to hear how much you've improved."

Magnus saw Alec puff out his cheeks slightly as well as breathe out hard through his nose. He was getting agitated because his mother wasn't listening to him. "Maryse....I don't think Alec feels up to that. Unless you want to play....." He said to Alec. 

Alec shook his head. "No. Alec need to talk to siblings. Now. Not later."

Maryse stared at her son for a moment before nodding curtly. "Alright. They're in the sub along with Simon and Clary."

Alec was gone before she could even finish her sentence. Magnus, of course, followed close behind as Alec squeezed through the crowd. He almost got lost a few times. Good thing Alec was easy to spot in the crowd. 

He could hear Isabelle's laughter coming from the sub. Sure enough, the Lightwood siblings (minus Max) were inside taking shots of eggnog and dancing to loud music. Alec immediately covered his ears and turned the music off. 

"Hey! We were listening to that!" Jace complained. "Dude, what's got your panties in a twist?"

Alec uncovered his ears. "Alec need to talk to siblings. In-in private." He glared at Simon and Clary, neither of them moving from their spot. "G-go. Please. Private conversation here...."

"Alec. It's fine. Whatever you say in front of us you can say in front of them," Isabelle rubbed his back. "So what's up?"

Alec groaned and rubbed his neck. "Something....Alec did something upstairs. Not bad something. Good something."

Jace sipped his drink. "Okay.....so what is it?"

Magnus watched as Isabelle leaned in and inspected her brother's lips. He knew what she was going to say and he dreaded it. 

"Your lips are swollen. Unless you were doing the Kendall Jenner lip challenge upstairs....then there's only one reason as to why they're like that."

Alec sighed. "Alec kissed Magnus."

Jace spit out his mouthful of drink. "You did what now?"

Simon had a hand covered over his mouth. "Dude. You're gay? For real? I mean, you're like the cool manly gay. Not the overly girly gay-ow," he winced as Clary hit him hard in the chest. 

"Have you....come out to mom and dad yet?" Isabelle asked. 

Alec cocked his head. "Come out?"

"Like told them that you like guys. Come out of the closet, as they say."

Unsure of what to think of that, Alec reached down and pulled the collar of his shirt up to his mouth and sucked on it. "No. Alec nev-never said anything yet. But why? Why does Alec have to come out? Can't Alec just love who he wants? Does it-does it matter?"

Magnus internally beamed with pride. Alec obviously gets it. Love is love and it didn't matter who you were or what your predicament was, love was love. "I know how it sounds, handsome. But it's still nice for your parents to know so they can be proud of you."

"I wouldn't call it that...." Jace grumbled, and Clary hit him too. "But whatever you decide to do, big brother.....we have your back."

"Jace is right," Isabelle hugged Alec and he groaned in protest under her touch. "Oh stop it. We support you with whatever decision you make. We love you."

Alec pat Isabelle on the head. "Thank you. Alec feel much better now. But not ready to....come out? No. Not yet."

Isabelle smiled up at him. "Take your time. There's no rush. None whatsoever. Just do what you have to do at your own pace, okay?"

Clary chimed in. "This almost reminds me of the time Simon came out as pansexual."

Simon shrugged. "It was no big deal. Most people don't even know what that is. They just think I'm really into frying pans. Or that it's the same as bisexuality."

"Which it isn't," Magnus said, and he soon found himself deep in conversation with Simon. 

Alec leaned down in his sister's ear. "What if mumma and dad don't love Alec the same after h-he comes out?"

Isabelle shook her head. "Then they're fools. They shouldn't love you any less. You're their son and it shouldn't matter if you like guys or not. We're ohana, Alec. Ohana means family."

Alec smirked at the Lilo and Stitch reference. He could always count on Izzy to make a Disney quote that made him smile. "Thanks, Iz. Alec feel better now. What are you drinking?"

Isabelle snorted. "Mom would kill me if I gave you some....but what the hell. It's not like you're underage."

A shot glass was slid over to Alec and he peered inside. It was a brown, milky liquid that smelled better than it looked. He hoped it tasted better than both. He picked up the glass, slowly raised it to his mouth, and drank it the way he saw Isabelle and Jace do it. He tilted his head all the way back and poured it down his throat, the liquid burning him all the way down. He coughed, setting the glass down on the counter again. 

"Well holy shit. Our brother just had his first shot of eggnog. How do you feel?" Jace smirked. "It looks like it hit you hard. You okay?"

Alec was still coughing as the aftertaste of the drink left behind a gross sensation in his mouth. "No more. That was gross. No more...."

Magnus laughed. "He knows his limits. One and done," he shook his head when Jace offered him a drink. "Not for me. I'm driving."

Jace shrugged. "Suit yourself."

Alec, now seated on a stool by the counter, watched as Jace took another shot of eggnog. He still felt the effects of his own shot, the burning in the back of his throat as well as the gross aftertaste it left on his tongue. How was Jace able to do this every time without getting sick? The longer Alec watched Jace drink, the more queasy his own stomach got....

"Hey. You okay? You look a little green," said Magnus. 

Alec reached up and mussed up his hair. "Alec just need fresh air. Magnus come too?"

"Sure. Let me just grab my coat. Want me to get yours too?" Magnus smiled as Alec nodded, dodging the crowd as he went to the large closet by the main entrance. He was glad that Alec had his own little spot in the closet (he tried not to think of the irony) just for his coats. He had hung his own up next to Alec's so they wouldn't get mixed up with everyone else's. He'd never find it that way. 

He managed to make it as far as the main kitchen when he heard giggling just outside the sub. He paused by the doorway, peeking around the corner to see Max and two other kids his age knelt outside the sub's doors. From where he stood, Magnus could see a handful of firecrackers inside a large pot and was already lighting them up. 

"Don't!" Magnus yelled, knowing full well what the intentions were, but it was too late. The firecrackers went off and made what sounded like guns going off. The kids scattered, laughing as they ran past Magnus. 

From inside the sub, he heard everyone scream in fright, especially Alec. When Magnus rushed inside, Alec was on the floor and pressed into the corner of the room, sitting with his legs crossed and hands pressed to his ears. He was moaning loudly and rocking back and forth, head down.

"Alec," Magnus cringed, unsure where to put his hands in order to comfort the hazel eyed man. "Can I touch your shoulder?"

Alec shook his head and continued to rock. His nerves were on fire. He could feel every vein in his body burning him up from the inside out. His senses were also gone haywire. Also, his heart was pounding inside his chest. 

"What the fuck was that?" Isabelle hissed. "Were we shot at outside or something?"

"It wasn't guns. It was Max," Magnus went outside the sub and collected the pot of firecrackers. "He lit these up just outside the door. He was trying to scare Alec-"

At the mention of his name, Alec let out a loud moan and rocked back and forth more quickly. His fingers were knotted his hair as he desparately tried to claw the tingling sensation out of his head. It felt like a million little bugs crawling all over him and there was nothing he could do to shake them off. 

"Alec. Listen to me. You're okay now. It was just the little snot trying to scare you." Magnus saw Alec's lips twitch as if trying not to smile. "You find it funny when I call Max a little snot, don't you? I know you do. You're trying not to smile. I can see you."

Jace appeared at Magnus' side and picked up the pot of firecrackers. "Excuse me. I'll take those. I'm about to give my little brother a firecrack over the head for pulling a stupid stunt like this."

Isabelle rolled her eyes. "Be gentle with him, Jace. He's a kid. Of course he's going to be pulling stupid stunts-"

"Look what he did to Alec, Isabelle. Look at him. He's a wreck. Max knew what he was fucking doing but he went ahead and did it anyway. Just like when he kept poking Alec and we asked him to stop."

"He's doing it for attention," Simon spoke up from behind them. "I work with troubled youth and that's a classic move they sometimes make in order to get attention, regardless if it gets them in trouble or not. Sometimes that's what they want."

Jace scowled. "He's in trouble all right. Once I tell mom what he's done, he'll definitely be in trouble." He stormed out of the sub, red with anger in the face. 

Magnus looked back down at Alec. He was still rocking back and forth but not as quickly as before. "Are you feeling okay, Alec? I can get you a glass of water if that's what you'd like."

Alec nodded, still looking down at the floor. Water would be nice. Maybe it would get rid of the vomit taste that came up in his throat but he swallowed it. He didn't want to throw up in front of his family. That would be embarrassing. 

Magnus filled up a glass and handed it to Alec, who took it and greedily drank the whole thing in one gulp. "There. At least you have some fluid in you now. How are your nerves?"

Alec shrugged. "Heart is s-still beating f-fast. Chest hurts. Tingles," he tapped his head with all ten of his fingers. "Tingles in Alec's head feel like bugs crawling on him."

"It's a sensory overdrive. He's had them before," Isabelle rubbed his back in soothing circles. "If you want, one of us can drive you home for the night. You don't have to stay here if you're uncomfortable."

"Okay," Alec said, only too eager to leave. "Alec go home and go to bed. So tired."

"I'll bring him home. You stay here and make sure Jace isn't too hard on Max," Magnus nodded to Isabelle. 

She smiled. "Thank you. You always go above and beyond for my brother. I don't know how I can ever repay you."

"Don't worry about it. I'm just doing my job, more or less." Magnus helped Alec to his feet, struggling under Alec's weight. "Come on, Alexander. Let me take you home for the night. I think you had enough excitement for one day."

Alec groaned. "What about Alec's presents?"

"Don't worry about them. I'll pick them up tomorrow and bring them to your place. Sound good?" Alec nodded in response, so Magnus handed him his coat that he'd dropped to floor when he rushed in after the firecracker incident. "I got you your coat. Still want to get some fresh air?"

Alec slipped on his coat, nodding for what felt like the millionth time that night. His heartbeat was slowing down a bit and he didn't feel quite as skittish as he did earlier. "Magnus? Avoid mumma, yeah? Try not to-to bump into her."

"I'll try not to. But she has the eyes of a hawk. I doubt I'll be able to give her the slip-"

"Go out through the back doors. The sub leads to the side of the house and to the front lawn. No one will see you," Isabelle chimed. She opened the back door and a gust of wind blew inside. She shivered. "If anyone asks, I'll say Magnus went home early and Alec's gone with Jace."

"Something tells me this isn't the first time you lied about one of your sibling's whereabouts...." Magnus raised an eyebrow. 

Isabelle shrugged. "I would die for my brothers. We've all lied for each other at some point. Us more so than Alec, but still. We protect each other no matter what."

Feeling a twinge of jealousy for the Lightwood siblings, Magnus quickly shook away the feeling and led Alec out the back door. As promised, the sub lead to the side of the manor and after a few steps, they both found themselves in the front lawn. The lights were on in the dining room area that overlooked the lawn, but even so, the partygoers were much too busy with the party to even think about looking out the window. There was nothing to see out there. 

"Just let me warm up the car first before we go, okay?" Magnus said as he opened the passenger door for Alec. He brushed off the snow that had fallen with his brush. Thank god it wasn't a hard snow. The wet stuff came off easier than the hard kind did. 

"All done. That was easy. If wiping snow off my car could be like that all winter, then I wouldn't mind doing it all season. How does going for a hot chocolate sound to you?"

Hot chocolate sounded nice, so Alec nodded. "Starbucks, please. They h-have mint hot chocolate. Taste like candy canes."

"Starbucks it is. You know, I heard about their mint hot chocolates but I've never actually tried them. Are they any good?"

"Yes. Very. Nice taste to them. Leaves breath smelling good." Alec paused for a moment, seemingly considering something. "Magnus? Alec has a question."

"I'm all ears."

"Um....what happens now?"

Magnus put on his right blinker and waited for traffic to pass. "What do you mean?"

Alec sighed. "Like where does Magnus and Alec go from here? After the kiss?"

Turning right, Magnus finally clicked off his blinker. "I honestly don't know, Alec. I hadn't really thought much about it. Give me a few days to think about it, okay? It's a lot to think about."

"Okay," was all Alec said. He understand. It actually was a lot to think about and consider. What happens to people after they kiss? He forgot to ask Isabelle and Jace, though Isabelle seemed like a more reliable source than Jace. Jace would joke around and probably wouldn't give him a straight answer. 

Magnus noticed how quiet Alec became and glanced over at him. "Are you okay? You seem really quiet."

"Just...." Alec sighed heavily. "Tired. Very tired. Also thinking ab-about why Max would do what he did."

"Ah. Don't mind him. Jace is going to talk to him. If not Jace, then your parents will definitely punish him for doing that. Ground him or whatever. Are you still spooked?"

"A little. Not so much now. Earlier though....that scared the shit out of Alec."

Magnus wheezed with laughter and had to wipe away the tears that welled up in his eyes from laughing so hard. "Oh my god. That was too funny. I mean, scaring you obviously isn't funny, but you swearing is."

Alec was confused. "How is Alec swearing funny? He's just being honest."

"I know but you have to understand....you never swear. Hearing you say shit is just funny because I'm not used to hearing you say it. That's all. That's what I find so funny."

Alec watched as Magnus snorted some more and wiped his eyes. "Then why is Magnus crying? Is he sad?"

"Sad? Oh god, no. Quite the opposite actually. You made me genuinely laugh. Not many people can do that."

Alec beamed. "Alec happy to be of s-service. Make Magnus laugh....that makes Alec happy in his heart."

Magnus looked over at an obviously proud Alec and smiled. "Good. I'm glad you're happy in your heart. Makes me happy to see you happy."

Alec hummed in content. "Magnus?"

"Yeah?"

"....you're a good kisser. Alec enjoyed having your lips on his."

Magnus went red in the face at this. "Thanks. You're not so bad yourself, handsome. Not bad for your second time."

Thankfully, Starbucks was open (and empty) when they went inside. There was only one employee working there, and she perked up as soon as she saw Magnus and Alec walk in. 

"Hi! What can I get for you guys?" She asked. 

"Two mint hot chocolates, please. Are these Christmas cookies for sale?" Magnus cooed as he saw a cookie shaped like Santa and another like a snowman. 

"You bet! Every cookie that's bought, all proceeds go to the St. Jude's Children's Hospital. Would you like one?"

"Please. We'll both have two," Magnus waited for their drinks while Alec held onto the cookies, giving them an occasional sniff through their plastic wrapper. Once Magnus had their drinks, they sat a table by the window, opening their cookies. "They look good. Almost too cute to eat!"

"Too cute...." Alec looked his cookie over and frowned. "Why make cute cookies like this? Alec almost can't eat it."

"Well if you won't, then I will-" Magnus laughed as Alec moved his cookies out of reach. "Relax. I'm kidding. Why would I want yours when I have my own?"

Alec munched on his snowman, taking a sip of his drink to wash it down. He hummed at how nice the mint tasted inside his mouth; a definite upgrade from the nasty alcoholic drink Jace have him earlier. "Mm. Nice cookies and drink. Tastes love-lovely."

Magnus took a drink as well, making a breathy "ahh" sound. "Oh boy. Now that's hot chocolate. They should sell that all year round. I'd buy it." He crumpled up his empty cookie wrapper and wiped his mouth with a napkin. "So....how would you rate your Christmas holiday so far?"

Alec shrugged with one shoulder and reached up to finally take off his wool hat. His hair stood up every which way, and Magnus had to bite his lip to keep from giggling. "Alec don't know. Six out of ten? Yeah. Just a six."

"It's better than a five and anything else below that. Mine was a seven. The little snot rag kind of ruined it for me." He smirked as Alec chortled into his cup. "But other than that, this is the best Christmas I've had in a long time. I'm glad I got to spend it with you."

Alec smiled broadly. "Same here. Alec happy he got to s-spend Christmas with Magnus. Best Christmas ever."

The sound of a throat being cleared made both men turn their heads. The lady at the counter pointed to something above their heads, prompting them to look up to see what she was pointing at. 

"A mistletoe? Seriously? Who puts a mistletoe above a table when people are trying to eat and enjoy their drink?" Magnus grumbled. 

"Fate," Alec whispered. 

Magnus looked at him. "What did you say?"

Alec's eyes looked up. "Fate put it there. For Alec and Magnus."

Magnus sighed through his nose. "Ah, what the heck. It's not like we don't like each other." He pointed up at the mistletoe. "May I?"

Alec nodded and giggled as both he and Magnus leaned in to kiss, feeling his heart speed up again, only this time it wasn't in fear.

It was in pure and unfathomable joy.


	24. Twenty Four

Alec fell ill two days after the party. Jace had called Magnus before he showed up to the apartment and told him that Alec was sick in bed, coughing and vomiting and sweating from a fever.

"I'll bring my grandma's special soup recipe. It'll work wonders on him," Magnus told Jace. 

Upon arriving to Alec's home, the moment he stepped into the doorway, the putrid smell of vomit and sweat hit him square in the face. He almost gagged, but years of schooling taught him to ignore it and just do his job. 

"We're in here!" Jace called out from Alec's bedroom. "Just helping Alec sit up a little bit. He can't breathe very well when he's lying down flat on his back."

Magnus opened the bedroom door and his heart sank. Alec was in his bed, moaning and whispering something to Jace as his brother propped him up in a sitting position. The sweat had drenched his bedsheets and was just pouring off his face like a waterfall. Not to mention his skin was sickly pale. 

"Magnus," Alec's voice was hoarse as he spoke. He coughed violently, leaning over his bed and throwing up into his garbage bucket. 

"Hey. Jace called and said you were sick so I brought soup," Magnus held up a canteen to show him. "My grandma made this for the entire family when they got sick. It's a special recipe."

Alec managed a small smile before vomiting again. The smell made him want to die in embarrassment. He didn't want Magnus to see him like this; weak and pathetic. He felt helpless just laying there but he knew he couldn't help it. Magnus wouldn't judge or hold it against him. 

Magnus poured some of the soup from the canteen out into a mug. "Once you get some of this in you, it'll break the fever. That's why it's going to taste so spicy. Jace, can you get some water in case he burns his tongue?"

Jace nodded. "Sure. Be back in a sec."

When Jace left the room, Magnus reached over and brushed a strand of wet hair off Alec's forehead. "I wish I could make your pain go away. Make you better."

Alec coughed. It sounded wet and gurgly. "Magnus make Alec better just by being here."

Magnus chuckled. "I meant like just get rid of your sickness completely. No cough. No fever. Just....poof. Better."

Alec was about to say something when Jace returned to the room. "One glass of water for the prince. It's not cold. I read online that you're not supposed to drink cold water when you're sick. It could put your heart into shock."

Alec wiped the sweat of his face with a hand before taking the cup of soup from Magnus. He sniffed it first, just to see what it smelled like. It didn't smell too bad, but Magnus wasn't kidding about the spices. He could smell them wafting from the liquor inside the cup. 

"It tastes better than it smells. Trust me," Magnus smiled, holding Alec's glass of water in his hand in case he needed it. "Drink up. You'll feel better when you do."

Alec put the mug to his lips and took a mouthful. Cringing at the taste of the spices, he gulped the rest of it down without stopping for a breath. When he was finished, his face was red from the heat and probably from the spices, Magnus figured. 

"How was it?" asked Magnus. 

"G-good. A little hot on Alec's tongue. But good," Alec gulped down his water. His stomach still felt a little queasy. Maybe he shouldn't have drank the soup so fast. "It's hot in here. Open up window, Jace. Alec....hot."

Magnus took a thermometer and stick it in Alec's mouth. "What was his temperature before I came here?"

Jace rubbed his jaw. "Uh....like 103.4 or something. I checked his temp two hours ago. He wasn't as bad as this at the time."

Alec coughed, accidentally dropping the thermometer but quickly put it back in his mouth when Magnus and Jace weren't looking. 

"Let me check your temp-Jesus Alec. Your temperature is 105.3. How are you not dead?" Magnus hauled the covers off of the bed with a swift movement. "Jace. I need you to fill the tub with ice. We're going to try and break his fever."

"And where the hell am I supposed to find enough ice to fill his bathtub?! Have you not seen the size of it?" Jace exclaimed as he helped haul Alec out of bed. He could feel the heat radiating off his brother like a stove. 

"Look outside. What's that out there? Snow. Exactly. Use the shovel on the front porch and scoop up as much as you can and put it in the tub. Make several trips if you have to."

Handing Alec off to Magnus, Jace raced to the front porch to gather snow. He knew he was going to get some odd looks from the neighbors, but he didn't care. All he cared about right now was getting Alec's fever down. 

"Where....where is Stephen going, Magnus?" Alec asked hoarsely. 

"Stephen? No, Alec....that's Jace. Your brother. He's gone to get some snow for your bathtub."

Alec laughed. It didn't sound like a genuine laugh, but more a crazed one. The fever must've been affecting his mind. "Silly. Snow d-doesn't go in the tub. It goes outsiiiiide."

Magnus frowned. "I'm really worried about you, you know. Once we get you into the ice cold tub, hopefully you'll start to cool down and make some damn sense."

By this time, Jace had returned with a shovel full of snow and dumped it into the large tub. His face was red, with exertion no doubt, and he was breathing heavily. "Another scoop or two and he should be good. Don't want him to catch hypothermia."

"With a body temperature like the one he has now? It'd take a while for it to settle in. We're just trying to break his fever to below 100. Not turn him into the abominable snowman."

Alec giggled at this as Magnus helped take off his shirt and into the tub. He didn't even feel the cold snow touch his bare feet. He didn't even feel it when he sat down in it while just in his boxers. 

"He's not even shivering....is that a good thing?" Jace whispered. 

"He probably can't even feel it, Jace. His temperature is 105 after all. Give him time." Magnus glanced at Alec. He was playing with the snow and making mini snowmen. "He called you Stephen when you were outside."

Jace was silent for a moment. "He did?"

"Yeah. It's probably just the fever. It's making him say things-"

"Stephen was my dad's name."

This time Magnus was silent for a moment. "Oh. I didn't know..."

Jace shrugged. "It doesn't matter. Alec's probably just ridden with fever. Doesn't know what he's talking about."

Magnus didn't want to bother him with questions, so he remained quiet. "I think Alec's enjoying making snowmen in the tub."

Jace snorted. "I think he is. How bad is his fever?"

"Oh it's bad," Magnus shook his head. "The main thing now is to try and break it. Once he starts shivering, it's a sign that it's broken and that's when we get him out of the cold."

Alec sneezed. "Alec's getting a little cold now. Gonna get out."

"That was fast. Do you feel very shivery?" Magnus asked as he helped out up and out of the snow filled tub. 

"Uh...." Alec pat his legs. "Yeah. Feet are cold. So is Alec's l-lower back. Butt is cold too."

Jace smirked. "Why don't you feel Alec's butt to see if it's cold, Magnus?"

Magnus shot him a cold glare. "Ignore your brother, Alec. He's being a dick."

Alec snorted at this. "Jace is a d-dick sometimes. Clary says so too."

Magnus almost laughed at how Jace's face went from laughing to dead serious. "What else does Clary say about me? Spill all of your secrets, Alexander."

Instead of spilling secrets, Alec spilled his insides as he vomit directly on Jace's feet. All Magnus could do was stare down in shock as Jace's went from serious to disgusted. 

"Oh...." Alec moaned. "S-sorry, Jace. Alec sorry. Didn't mean to....that."

Jace closed his eyes. Magnus could see that he was trying to control himself and his anger. "It's fine. You're sick, and I understand. Better out than in, right?" He offered Alec an understanding smile. "Magnus, please escort my brother back to his room. Maybe some of your Magnus medicine will do the trick. I have to go home and change my pants and socks. Maybe take a shower as well."

Jace left a few minutes later without saying another word and Alec was finally all tucked away in his bed. Magnus had taken his temperature again and it dropped down to 102.1, which was a huge difference compared to earlier. He was even starting to shiver now. 

"There you go....that's what I wanted to see. Shivering is a good thing. Means your fever is broken. Or is starting to break," Magnus said with a smile. "Do you want me to get you anything? Water? Juice? Some toast?"

Alec shook his head. "No. Alec is okay. Just stay here, yeah? Don't go."

Alec gripped Magnus' hand and squeezed with weak fingers. Magnus squeezed back. "I won't. But promise me you'll speak up if you need something?" When Alec nodded, he leaned back against the headboard so that both he and Alec were side by side. "So what made you sick to begin with? Was it the eggnog?"

Alec frowned. "One-one question at a time, please. Alec's head feel heavy."

"Sorry. What made you sick?"

Alec shrugged. "Don't know. Just woke up this morning and vomit on the floor. Jace w-wasn't too happy though. Alec feels bad for puking on him."

Magnus snorted. "Ah, he'll get over it. Besides. You can't help if you're sick. A little vomit has never hurt anyone before."

Alec groaned before leaning over the side of his bed and heaving. The smell was unbearable, but Magnus pushed through. He's smelled worse. He's experienced worse. His mother threw up all over him one time when he was in his early 20's, and she's never once apologized for it. He doubt that she even remembered, as drunk as she was at the time. 

"Drink some water, handsome. You need those fluids in you...." He rubbed Alec's back in soothing circles, completely disregarding the sweat rolling down the long expanse of Alec's back. "That's it. Drink. It'll keep you hydrated."

Alec finished off his water and sighed heavily. "There's something on Alec's mind. Can he ask a question?"

"Of course. I'm listening."

Alec wiped his forehead with a hand. "At Starbucks....Magnus said he needed time to think. Is t-time up?"

Taking a deep breath, Magnus thought about his next answer very carefully. "No, you're right. I thought about what I said and I think it's time you deserve an answer." He glanced at Alec, who was watching him intensely. No more was the shy and uncomfortable young man who could barely look him in the eye. It was like sitting next to a completely different person. "I know I said that I loved you and I meant every word of it. Just letting you know right now."

Alec nodded. "Okay."

"So....what I'm about to ask you is going against every fibre of my being and every rule I learned in school and every promise I made to myself." 

Alec nodded again. "Okay," he repeated. 

"Alexander Lightwood....would you like to go out on a date with me?"

Alec's eyes brightened considerably. "Y-yeah! Alec would love that-" He paused to lean over the side of the bed and vomit. "Sorry. Didn't mean to throw up...."

Magnus shook his head. "It's okay. You can't help it. So is that a yes?"

Alec smiled weakly. His eyes were starting to feel heavy with sleep but he managed to form an answer before sleep took him. "Yeah. That sounds nice. Alec l-like that....."

Magnus leaned forward and smirked. Alec was dozing off as he spoke. Within seconds, he was sound asleep and snoring softly. Magnus covered him up and changed the bag in the bucket, being very careful not to wake Alec up in the process. 

One thing he noticed as he tossed the bag into the garbage bin outside was that there was a letter inside Alec's mailbox, which was weird because the mailman had already made his rounds earlier. He knew this because there was already a pile of mail on the counter. 

Curious, he took out the letter and looked at the address. It had Alec's name on it, but it was from a name he didn't recognize. Who were Richard and Elizabeth Gray?

He knew he shouldn't open up Alec's mail, but the curiosity was just overpowering. Ripping open the envelope, he took out the letter and unfolded it. The handwriting was very neat as Magnus began to read what it said. 

"Alec:

No words can express how grateful I am for what you have done for my wife and children this Christmas. Imagine our surprise when we saw a delivery truck come to our door Christmas morning and unload a truckload of presents. My wife, Elizabeth, nearly collapsed in tears as she watched Tessa and Nate open their presents with nothing but pure joy on their faces. Granted, Nate enjoyed the sound of wrapping paper being ripped apart more so than the actual gifts underneath them, but it was the joy on his face that made every moment worth it."

Magnus looked up from the letter. Wait....was this the family Alec did a good deed for earlier the month? He immediately jumped back into the letter where he left off. 

"We also wanted to thank you not only for the presents but paying for Tessa's hearing aids as well as helping us reach out to an autism support group for Nate. We've been trying so hard to get both for our kids but with money and time being so tight, it was impossible to find the best care for them. My wife is elated that Tessa has molds made for her ears. We're now waiting for them to come in so we can pick them up. As for Nate, he's a little iffy about this support group but he's discovered chocolate centred Oreos at the meeting and I think that's what's going to motivate him to go back again." 

"We'd also like to thank you for giving us a gift card for two years worth of gas. Driving around isn't cheap these days, and to have this gift card is a dream come true for us. So thank you for gifting us with this opportunity."

"My wife would also like to thank you again for keeping an eye on Tessa while she was lost at the mall. I know it must've been out of your comfort zone, so for someone to push through like that to help a child in need will always be a hero in our hearts. I'm sure Tessa thinks so too. She's currently playing with her new dollhouse while Nate thinks he's Godzilla. The two love their gifts."

"Thank you. Thank you so much for reaching out and helping us. You don't even know us yet you thought of us this Christmas. If there's any way we can ever repay you, we'll definitely get in touch with you. If there's anything you need, my number is on the back of this letter. Don't be a stranger."

"So once again, thank you. Thank you so much. You're such a kind soul with a beautiful heart. You definitely made our lives much easier because of what you did. We won't ever forget you."

"Happy holidays from the Gray family."

The letter fell from Magnus' hands as he sighed heavily, feeling tears roll down his face. So that's what Alec was up to at the toy store, buying up all kinds of toys. It was for the Gray kids. As for the meetings and the hearing aids, he must've gotten help from Isabelle or Jace to get something set up like that. 

It hit him at that moment how incredible Alec really was. People look at him and they see a gorgeous young man, but when he speaks, their opinion instantly changes. They see a child. Someone who isn't capable of living life to the fullest. Magnus begged to differ. He couldn't believe this was who he's been trying to push away all this time. This amazing soul who deserved the world and everything in it. When he looked at Alec, he saw someone who endured a lot of pain and ridicule growing up but came out stronger because of it. Alec was a soldier. A fighter. A warrior. 

Seeing what he'd done for this family made Magnus fall for him even more, if that was even possible. Everything he's tried to avoid up to this point has finally come crashing down around him; walls, ceiling and all. There was no going back now, but he still had to be careful. If he slipped up and got caught, he might as well say goodbye to Alec now and pack his bags and leave. Maryse wasn't going to have any of this. Not on her watch. 

He got up from the couch where he had been reading the letter and marched into Alec's room. He sat down on the bed, holding Alec's sweaty face between his hands. 

Alec woke up, confusion written all over his face. "Wh-what's wrong? Did Alec throw up on the floor again?"

Magnus chuckled. "No. I came in here to tell that you're fucking amazing. Did you know that?"

Alec didn't even notice Magnus cursing as he giggled weakly. "Oh, Magnus. So silly. Waking Alec up l-like this. Shhh....sleepy."

"I'm going to kiss you, Alexander. Because you're so amazing and no one seems to realize just how amazing and kind and sweet you really are." 

He leaned forward and pressed his lips against Alec's. Alec moaned softly and sighed, too weak to really miss Magnus back. When Magnus pulled away, he coughed and wiped his forehead with a hand. 

"Magnus know Alec sick, right?"

"I do but I don't care," Magnus said back. "I've had worse kisses in my lifetime. Yours are actually much better than most of them. Actually.....yours are better than all of them."

Not sure whether to take that as a compliment or not, Alec hummed low in his throat as Magnus laid down beside him in bed, just holding his hand and quietly enjoying a Christmas movie on the tv together.

"If I do get sick though, I blame you and your cooties," Magnus whispered with a smile. 

Alec snorted. "If Magnus get sick, Alec take care of him like he take care of Alec. Okay?"

Magnus kissed his cheek. "Okay. But I like chicken noodle soup when I'm sick. Think you can make that?"

"S-such a silly question. That's all Alec ever eats."

He never vomit once after that and his fever finally came back down to normal. Maybe a bit of Magnus medicine was all he needed after all?


	25. Twenty Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Years! I know I'm a few days early but I decided to post now so that I can sit back and enjoy the rest of my holidays without having to worry about updating. Hope you enjoy this chapter and have a safe and happy new year :)

"Can you believe that mom actually let us have our own New Year's party? Like.....who is she and what has she done to our mother?!"

It was New Year's Eve and Alec found himself sitting in Jace's living room while Isabelle was making her famous pizza dip for the party later that evening. It was a miracle that their mother let them have their own separate party. He couldn't believe it either. His mom wasn't one to let them go their separate ways during the holidays. It almost made him uncomfortable being here. 

"Where's J-Jace?" Alec asked. 

"Out getting food and stuff with Clary. They should be back soon-hey, is Magnus coming? I thought you would've asked him to come to the party by now," Isabelle popped a cracker into her mouth. 

No, he hadn't thought about asking Magnus to the party. He was so wrapped up in thinking about his first date that he didn't even have time to ask about the party. "No. Alec didn't ask. Sorry, Izzy."

"Don't apologize to me. No need. Just text Magnus and ask him to drop by if he's not busy. And don't forget to give him Jace's address if he says yes."

So that's exactly what Alec did. Taking out his phone, he sent Magnus a quick text asking if he wanted to come over to Jace's for a little New Year's get together. The response was almost instant. 

Yes. 

Alec smiled down at his phone before looking up and sighing happily. He didn't even notice his sister smirking at him from the kitchen. He was just too happy to notice anything. 

"Magnus said he loves Alec and is going on-on a date with him soon," he blurted. 

Isabelle choked in surprise. "Are you serious?! That's great! I'm so proud of you, Alec! Did you guys pick a time and place yet?"

Alec shook his head and rubbed the back of his neck. "No....no. Not yet. Soon. Yes. Will pick soon. After New Year's?"

"Cool, cool. I mean if you wanted, you could make this party your first date. That's if you want to, of course. Or you can wait to see what Magnus wants to do."

This was his first time ever being asked out, so this was a lot to take in. Should he wait? Or should he make the party a date? Questions like these ran through his mind at warp speed and he felt himself getting sick to the stomach. He moaned, leaning forward and holding his stomach. 

"Alec, are you okay?" asked Isabelle. She didn't follow up with another question. She was one of the few people who hardly ever did. 

"Alec feel funny in stomach. Sickly....might throw up...." Alec took a deep breath to calm himself. "What's Alec feeling, Iz? Alec not sick anymore."

Isabelle's face was serious for a moment before she slowly smiled. "I think you got the butterflies, big brother. The huge case of them, too."

"But-butterflies? Is that bad, Izzy? Are butterflies bad?"

Isabelle laughed and clapped her hands together. "No! It just means you're nervous! You're nervous because you're seeing Magnus later and this is the first time you're seeing him for an entirely different reason than what you're used to. Alec-" She made her way over and kneeled down in front of him, taking his hand in hers. "You're in love, brother. You're in love for the first time and it's okay to be scared and nervous and feel a million different feelings at once. That's what love does to you."

Alec squinted. "But Alec doesn't un-understand most of these feelings."

"And that's okay too. You're going to feel a million different things and won't understand them. Magnus too. You're both going to feel a lot of things but you know what? You'll have each other to help go through them. To help understand what it is you're feeling-"

Alec watched as Isabelle choked back a sob, wanting to understand why she was crying. ".....Izzy? What's wrong?"

Isabelle wiped her eyes with a hand. "I know you don't really understand all these emotions and feelings, Alec. But know that you're not alone, okay? You have Magnus, and he loves you so much. So, so much. I know he does. So don't fight the feeling, okay? Embrace it. Show him what an extraordinary being you are like you show us everyday."

She pulled away before Alec could ask a question, but by that time the door flew open and Jace waltzed in with boxes in his arms with Clary close behind with cases of beer and alcohol. 

"I know what it looks like Clary, but you can't have New Year's without beer!" Jace exclaimed. 

Clary rolled her eyes. "Of course you can! No one needs four cases of beer, Jace. It's just going to be five of us-"

"Six!" Isabelle called out, all signs of her crying moments ago completely gone. "Six of us. Magnus might be popping in later too, if that's okay with everyone. Alec invited him."

"That's cool with me. Way to go, bro! Taking initiative. I like it," Jace winked as he set the boxes on the counter. "So I ended up getting mozzarella sticks, wings, potato skins, and lattice fries. Lots of greasy finger food."

"And I think Simon said he's ordering pizza for us too. No shortage of food for us tonight," Clary sighed. 

"Or beer," Jace laughed as he popped open a bottle of beer and took a sip. "Maybe we can even get Alec to have a drink tonight. What do you say Alec? Wanna have a beer with the guys?"

Alec cringed. He hated beer. The smell alone was disgusting and he wasn't sure how Jace and Simon managed to drink it. "No. Not really."

Clary and Isabelle snickered as Jace was shot down. He didn't seem too bothered by it. "You're missing out, dude. I'm ten times funnier when I'm drunk or buzzed."

"I think you mean annoying. Not funnier," Isabelle ducked as Jace tried to snatch her up in his arms. "No! Jace, don't!"

Alec watched as his siblings acted silly in the kitchen. He didn't care much for their shenanigans. They were too rowdy anyway. "Alec doesn't th-think Jace is annoying," he pointed to himself and shook his head. "No. Jace is cool. Alec wish he was cool too."

"Aww. Jace, why can't you be cute like Alec? I swear, there are days when I just want to dump you and be with Alec instead," Clary pat Alec on the leg and smiled as she spoke. 

"Alec don't like girls, Clary. S-sorry," Alec frowned. 

"That's okay. You can still be my snuggle buddy though, right?" She tickled his arm and snorted. Snuggle buddies was something they both made up when they were younger, when Alec used to sneak into Isabelle's room at night when the girls were having a sleepover and he'd cuddle with Clary in her sleeping bag. He wasn't one for physical contact but Clary gave an incredible cuddle. She was small but cuddly. 

"You think we have enough food for tonight? Including the pizza that is...." said Jace as he popped opened the frozen chicken wings and peeked inside. 

"I say we have more than enough, Jace. At least enough to feed us hungry bunch anyway," Isabelle slapped his hand away. "Don't touch. That's for tonight. We'll put them in the oven in a bit. It's too early for that now."

"But I'm hungry," Jace whined. "I'm making a sandwich before I pass out."

Watching Jace make a sandwich was oddly soothing. It was a nice pattern, Alec discovered. Bread, mayo, ham, turkey, lettuce, tomato, ham, turkey, mayo and bread. By the time Jace had the contents stacked together, the sandwich looked almost too big for his mouth. 

"Jace gonna eat that?" Alec whispered. His mouth had drool around the corners as Jace flattened it with a hand. 

"Yes. Jace is gonna eat it all. Izzy said you ate already. You had a peanut butter sandwich," Jace bit into the bread and now had a mouthful of sandwich inside his mouth, making his speech muffled. "Is Magnus coming to the party tonight?"

Alec grimaced and squeezed his left thigh with his hands. "Don't-don't talk with mouth full, please. Gross. Chew it up."

Jace rolled his eyes but did as he was told. After his bite was swallowed, he repeated, "Is Magnus coming to the party tonight?"

"Yes. As far as Alec knows, he is."

"Cool. It'd be nice to get him to a party that isn't hosted by our smothering mother and with people his own age instead. How old is he again?"

Alec shrugged. "N-not sure. Twenty-six?"

Jace shoved the last bite of sandwich into his mouth. "That's not too bad. At least he's not 40. That would've been weird."

Alec cocked his head. "Weird? How?"

"Uh-" Jace rubbed his neck. "Well if he was 40, he'd be old enough to be your dad. That would be weird. Some people are into that stuff though. It's called a Daddy kink."

Alec wasn't sure what to make of this so he kept quiet, watching Jace pour up some Coke Cola instead. "Jace? Alec has a question."

"And Jace is listening very intently. What's your question, bro?"

Alec squeezed his hands nervously before speaking. "Where-where should Alec take Magnus on a date?"

Jace choked on his drink. "A date?! Like a date between two people?!"

"Are there supposed to be m-more people?" Alec asked, squinting in confusion. 

"No, no. I'm just surprised that you're asking me. Why didn't you go to Isabelle about this? She's more knowledgeable about this stuff than I am."

Alec mumbled under his breath. "Izzy talk too much. Go on f-for hours...."

Jace smirked. "Well you're not wrong about that. She's enough to make anyone's ears bleed...but yeah. About your situation. Take him somewhere nice. It can be a restaurant or a movie-even a baseball game!" He saw Alec's horrified face and frowned. "But you don't like crowds...."

Alec groaned. "This was a bad idea. Maybe Alec sh-shouldn't go on date. No. Change mind now-"

"Don't change your mind! Magnus wouldn't like that at all! Here. I got an idea." Jace pulled out a chair and sat next to Alec. "How about I order Taki's for you guys and you can have a date at your place? Or his. Whichever one you guys prefer."

Alec raised an eyebrow. "Jace do that for Alec?"

"Of course! You're my brother and you're going on your first date. I want you to be comfortable and have the best experience possible. Isabelle would want the same thing too."

Alec sighed in relief. A date at his place or Magnus' seemed like the best option for now, but he knew they'd eventually have to go out to places if they continued dating. "Y-yeah. Okay. Alec like that idea. Jace a good brother."

Jace bit his lip to keep from laughing as Alec pat him on the head. "I'm glad you think so. But I'm being serious about the date. Go somewhere comfortable where you feel at ease. Don't try to force things. If something is making you feel off, let Magnus know. He'll understand."

Alec nodded. All traces of unease he had about getting his siblings to help him with his date that he had earlier were now gone and a sense of relief flowed over him. He had doubts about going to Jace and Isabelle about this but he was happy he did. The first date would've been a complete disaster if he hadn't. 

"Jace! Babe, come here for a second. Simon is on the phone and wants to know what kind of pizza to order for later," Clary called out from the living room. 

"Ah. Duty calls. We'll continue this conversation later," as he passed by, Jace rubbed Alec on the back. "Don't fret, brother. Your date will go amazing. Just keep your head up."

Confused, Alec turned around in his seat as Jace passed by him. "Figure of s-speech, yeah Jace? Just a saying?"

Jace smiled. "That it is, brother. That it is."

\----------

Magnus didn't drink. He couldn't. Not after seeing what it did to his mother and what it made her into. He vowed to never go down the same route as she did, but he deeply considered having just one or two drinks at the party tonight. As long as he was responsible and knew his limits, he didn't see the harm in having some. 

Jace's home was shockingly expensive looking when he arrived later that evening, which wasn't that surprising considering he came from an expensive family. It was very modern and very clean when Magnus stepped inside. He almost did so cautiously, afraid that a wrong move will bring the entire place down on their heads. 

"Geez, you can come in you know. No one here's gonna bite you," Jace snorted. "Just toss your coat wherever. We're getting right down to business."

"Business?" asked Magnus as he tossed his coat onto a bench in the porch. "What kind of business?"

"One that requires much thought and dirty minds as possible," Jace smirked, leading him into the kitchen. 

The gang were all gathered around the kitchen table with a box that read Cards Against Humanity, and Magnus instantly began to laugh. "Are you serious? Of all the games in the world?"

"We're always serious about Cards Against Humanity," said Jace. 

"Almost as serious as Poker," Isabelle pulled out some cards and began to hand them out. "You ever play before?"

"What, poker or this one?" Magnus took a seat next to Alec, who was sipping a golden liquid from a glass. "Is that beer? That better not be beer."

Alec peered down into his glass. "It's ap-apple juice. Not beer."

Magnus sighed in relief. "Good. Beer is gross. Even worse than whiskey or vodka."

"Clearly you've never tried rum," Isabelle snickered. "Alright. So who pooped recently?"

Alec choked mid swallow. "Wh-what? Pooped?"

"Yeah. That's how the game goes. The person who pooped most recently starts off first. Says right here in the instructions," she tapped the paper for emphasis. 

"Well it wasn't me. I pooped yesterday," Jace announced. 

"Same here," Clary said. 

"I pooped this morning," Isabelle chimed in. 

"This is getting really weird," Magnus mumbled, prompting Alec to nod in agreement. 

"Should we call the neighbors and see when they pooped while we're at it?" Jace smirked. 

"The neighbors aren't even playing!" Clary hit his shoulder but had a smile on her face as she did so. 

"Okay, Izzy. You go first. This talk of who pooped when is making everyone feel weird. Especially me," Magnus grabbed his cards and looked them over, snorting at a few of them. 

Beside him, Alec looked confused with his cards. He had no idea what any of them meant and it was frustrating him. "Um....Alec doesn't want to play. Just watch."

"Aw, why? It's more fun the more people you have," Isabelle pouted. "More fun when you're drunk too. Nothing makes sense but it's funny as hell."

Alec didn't find any of this funny. It just gave him a headache as he tried to figure out what everything meant. "No....Alec will watch. Cards-cards don't make sense."

"You can watch me kick everyone's ass," Magnus winked. Alec giggled and put a finger to his lips while nodding. 

Jace smirked. "I smell a challenge, Bane. First one to seven points. Losers have to strip down and jump into a snow pile outside." 

Clary and Isabelle whipped their heads around to face him. "Have you lost your damn mind?! We'll freeze to death out there!" Isabelle shouted. 

"Then don't lose," Jace snickered. 

By this point, everyone was determined not to lose. Alec watched closely as they laid down their cards and read out ther answers, cackling at the ridiculous sounding ones. Xavier had trotted over and was now under the table while Alec rubbed his ears with a hand. He had his New Years attire on: a sparkling collar with 2017 written on it. It lit up with a button on the inside of the collar. 

"Magnus," Alec whispered. He had gotten really good at whispering recently. 

Magnus leaned in. "Yeah?"

Alec pointed to two cards. "Play those two. W-win easy."

"You think so?" Magnus pulled the cards out and snorted. "You're terrible but this is hilarious."

Alec smiled and watched as everyone submitted their answers. He hoped Magnus would win. He didn't want him to strip down and jump into the snow. It was much too cold for that. 

"Alright. The moment of truth." Jace cleared his throat and read out the black card. "Who doesn't love blank and blank on Christmas Eve?" He flipped the first two cards and read them out, then the second pair, and finally the last. "Who doesn't love roasting children over an open fire and dropping f bombs on Christmas Eve?"

Everyone roared with laughter, with Isabelle having to wipe her eyes with her sleeve because she was laughing so hard. Alec didn't really get what was so funny. Roasting children over an open fire didn't sound very nice. F bombs didn't either. But they were the cards he chose for Magnus after all. 

"Oh damn. I'm gonna have to go with roasting babies and f bombs," Jace lift the cards and tossed them in the used pile. "Whose cards did they belong to?"

Magnus slowly took the black card and smirked. "Me."

Jace slammed a fist down. "Bullshit! You cheated!"

"How does one cheat in Cards Against Humanity?!" Magnus hollered, apologizing when Alec winced beside him. 

"I don't know! But you did it somehow. Dammit. Looks like we're stripping down, ladies," Jace cringed as he looked out the window. "Think the snow is very cold?"

"Hmm Jace who knows. Could be lukewarm this year," Isabelle rolled her eyes as she took off her jeans. 

Alec covered his eyes as his siblings and Clary stood there in their undergarments. "Alec glad he didn't play. Sn-snow too cold to jump in."

"I agree. I'm just glad I won," Magnus smirked as Jace shot him a look. "Oh don't be such a sore loser, Jace. A deal is a deal. Losers jump in the snowpile."

The Lightwood siblings raced out, yelling as they jumped into a pile of snow, Clary close behind. The three of them screamed and came racing back in, bodies shivering and covered in snow. 

"Hot-hot shower! Right now!" Isabelle's teeth chattered. "I claim the-the guest bathroom!"

Jace grabbed Clary's hand and smirked. "Save water, shower with Jace?"

Clary giggled. "You're so bad. But sure. Why not?"

When they all disappeared into the bathrooms, Alec sighed heavily. "Alec's brother and sister st-stutter like Alec, yeah? Silly."

Magnus nudged him gently with an elbow. "Don't say that. They're just cold from the snow. They're not making fun or anything."

"Alec knows," Alec smiled softly. "Why did Magnus suggest l-losers had to jump in the snow?"

"Well why not? It's New Year's Eve. We're allowed to have a little fun before the year is over. Why not take a couple of risks?"

Take a couple of risks. This resonated inside Alec as he thought about what Magnus said. It was almost the new year. A time to start new. A time to start fresh. He could take a few risks tonight and then start fresh the next day. "Risks? Like what?"

Magnus thought about it. "Well....nothing big. Like that'll ruin your life or anything. Just little things. Talk to the person you liked for a long time. Buy the shoes you've always wanted. Ask for a raise. Just small things like that."

This seemed intriguing. "Can Alec take a risk right now?"

"Of course!" Magnus laughed. "What did you have in mind?"

Alec cautiously reached for Magnus' hand and leaned in, placing the most gentle of kisses on his lips. "That's wh-what Alec had in mind."

Magnus smiled. "That's not really a risk but I like the fact you take initiative. Feeling brave today, Alexander?"

Alec nodded, a broad smile on his face. "New y-year, new Alec."

"Well it's not the new year yet. Let me keep the old Alec just for a while longer, okay? I'm very fond of him."

Alec giggled and let himself be kissed on the cheek, only pulling away when Jace reappeared in the kitchen wearing fresh, warm clothes. "Jace! So-so fast...fast shower."

Jace bit his lip. His left eyebrow was raised and he looked like he was trying not to smile. "Yeah. It was fast. So uh....whatcha doin?"

Magnus went red in the face. "Nothing. Just....having a drink."

"You're red in the face," Jace smirked. 

"It's the alcohol."

"You've drank a glass of water so far, Magnus."

Alec cleared his throat. "Awkward, yeah? D-drop subject now. Make food in oven. Alec help."

Jace snorted but said nothing more of the scene that he walked in on. 

The evening went on. Simon eventually showed up with two large pizzas and even more alcohol which at that time, Magnus had a nice buzz on. He could see why his mother preferred to stay drunk like this all the time. He felt free. He felt good for once in his life. He didn't even care when Simon took a selfie that didn't include him and that was saying a lot. 

The food was laid out on the large counter and on the island in the middle of the kitchen. Everyone was digging in and laughing and having a good time. 

Everyone except for Alec. 

Noticing that his friends and family were starting to get a little tipsy, he snuck out to the living room and sat down on the leather couch, uncomfortable with the way it felt on his skin. Occasionally he'd glance up at the large photo of a crowd of people above the couch on the wall and wondered why Jace had it. It didn't make sense to him. Meanwhile, Xavier just went along with him. He was content with wherever his boy went. 

"Alec! Where did you go?!" Magnus hollered from the kitchen. He made his way into the living room, stumbling along as he went. "There you are. Silly goose. Hiding?"

Alec didn't like the way Magnus giggled or the way his speech slurred. It was obvious that he was drunk. "No. Everyone's get-getting rowdy. Makes Alec uncomfortable."

Magnus snorted and poked Alec's chest. "Sorry, gorgeous. It's just so good, you know? It's the new yeeeeeeear."

Alec said nothing when Magnus poked him, knowing he didn't mean it in a rude way. "Magnus....you're drunk."

Magnus looked offended. "Am not! I'm just peachy."

He spit when he pronounced the P, which made Alec flinch and wipe his face with a hand. "Ew. And yes. Magnus is drunk. Very drunk." He jumped in surprise when Magnus crashed into him and embraced him in a bear hug. His body tingled uncomfortably. "Magnus? N-no. This isn't....no."

Magnus giggled. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you? I loved you the moment I laid-" he hiccuped. "Laid eyes on you. You're so tall and handsome with your dark haaaaair and Bambi eyes."

Alec perked up in amusement. "Bambi eyes? Like the Disney Bambi?"

"Yes! Just like that! And your voice is so deep and your personality is so nice." He hiccuped again and laughed. "I just loooove you, Alexander. More than I love myself."

Feeling pleased, Alec reached down and took Magnus' hand in his own, their fingers entwined. "Alec love Magnus too. Lots and lots."

"Lots and lots? Niiiice," Magnus giggled for the millionth time. At that moment, a thought popped into his drunk mind. "Alec, there's something I need to tell you-"

"Twenty seconds until midnight!" Simon raced in, tripping over the leg of the table and falling flat on his face. Everyone else followed behind and howled with drunken laughter. 

Alec turned to face Magnus again. "What-what did Magnus want to tell Alec?"

The countdown began. "Ten!"

Magnus began to panic. "I should've told you before-"

"Nine!"

"I had a talk with-"

"Eight!"

"I should've known better than to agree-"

"Seven!"

Alec squeezed his hands. "Magnus not making any sense-"

"Six!"

Magnus sputtered. "I'm sorry Alec-"

"Five!"

"For what?" Alec groaned, feeling himself getting impatient. 

"Four!"

Magnus hiccuped. "I kept a secret from you-"

"Three!"

"And it was wrong of me to keep it-"

"Two!"

"Magnus, j-just say it!"

"One!"

"I promised your m-"

"HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Everyone began to cheer and clap as fireworks erupted outside in the sky. The noise from it all blocked out what Magnus was saying and Alec found it extremely difficult to focus on one thing. He groaned and closed his eyes tight, trying to block out the noise. 

"Happy new year, Alexander." Magnus whispered. "New year, new you. Remember?"

Alec nodded, eyes still closed. "Y-yeah. Happy new year, Magnus. Start-start fresh. New. Take risks. Little things, yeah?"

Magnus smiled drunkenly and pecked Alec on the lips. "Little things. I love you, Alec. So much."

Alec hummed and smiled in content. "Magnus is so drunk r-right now."

"Hush. Just let me enjoy this. I might not even remember this in the morning...."

Alec shrugged, frustrated that Magnus never told him what he wanted to say. Magnus might not remember but he definitely would.


	26. Twenty Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So there's a sensitive topic in the next two chapters, so please be advised.

Alec was glad to be back in school. Not only did he get a huge chunk of his schedule back, he also had something to do during the day so he wasn't entirely bored. But because Clary was out sick today, he had no one to talk to. Reaching out to his other classmates was a waste of time (not to mention it also terrified him), plus the majority of them didn't really like him (which he didn't quite understand why). 

In his art class, they had to draw something while blindfolded outside as a lesson. James (his professor) said that being blindfolded, they were forced to view the world differently and had to use their other senses to get a feel for their surroundings. It was entertaining for the most part. Alec enjoyed using his other senses other than his eyes to make art. 

"Now I want you to visualize in your mind's eye what you think is happening around you. Use your ears. Use your nose. Use your hands and feel around you. That will inspire you and your drawing," James said to the class. 

Alec felt around him with a hand. He felt cold snow under his fingers. He heard traffic and his classmates chattering and giggling amongst each other. He could smell the cafeteria cooking food for lunch as well as the dampness of the cement stairs underneath him. Feeling his senses tingling, he smiled as his hand moved across the paper as he drew. It wasn't a sensory overload; it was inspiration. 

Ten minutes passed and students were starting to take off their blindfolds to look at their finished pieces. Some of them laughed at their work while others groaned at how awful it looked, but Alec wasn't finished yet. He was putting on some finishing touches. 

He felt a presence appear beside him and stiffened in fear. When he heard James' voice, that's when he calmed down. "Alec a-almost done, James. Another minute...."

"Take your time. I'm just watching you draw....it looks absolutely stunning, Alec. Is this what you pictured in your mind's eye?"

What was he even drawing? He had no control over his hands the entire time he was working away. He just drew what came to mind. 

Finally taking off his blindfold, he looked down at his sketchbook and was surprised by what he saw. It was a sketch of Magnus sitting down at the park with Xavier as they sat together and watched the pigeons. Why he drew this, he had no idea. That was just what his surroundings told him to draw. 

"That's looks really beautiful, Alec. You should put that in your portfolio. It'd look amazing along with your other work," James smiled. 

"Yeah?" Alec hummed. "O-okay. Alec will put this in port-portfolio. Take picture of it for Magnus too. He'd like that."

He snapped a quick photo of it on his phone before sending it to Magnus and following the rest of the class back into the university. It had begun to snow and everyone's hair was slowly starting to turn white with flakes. Alec felt a snowball hit the back of his head, hearing laughter erupt from behind him. He ignored it as he massaged the back of his head with a hand. That really hurt. 

"Okay everyone! Next class we'll be working with charcoal so don't wear anything too fancy. We're getting dirty-oh, Alec? Can I have a quick word with you?"

"Okay...." Alec shuffled to the front of the room and waited for the rest of the class to leave. He stared at the floor when he spoke. "What's w-wrong, James? Alec in trouble?" 

James laughed. "God no. Far from it. I was going to ask you if you wanted to participate in the art show in March."

Alec cocked his head. "Art show? What's that?"

"It's kind of like a science fair, only with art. We showcase your art for other people to look at and then there's a prize for first, second and third place. Are you up for it?"

To have his art showcased for other people to see sounded like a great opportunity to get his work out there and get noticed. If Magnus were here, he'd say go for it, and that's exactly what Alec was going to do. "Yeah. Alec up for it. When in-in March?"

James reached for some papers on his desk. "Says here on the 25th. So near the end of the month. Are you interested?" Alec nodded in response, making James smile. "Excellent. I'll write your name down and submit it to the Board. You're my best student, Alec. I'm so glad you're doing this and putting yourself out there."

Alec beamed, proud of himself. This was a great start to the new year. Before, this was something Alec would never do in a million years. Just the thought of having to showcase his work would've gave him anxiety. Now the thought made him a little excited. He wanted people to see his art. He wanted to be appreciated. 

"Now head to your next class. Don't want you to be late. I'll send you an email with more details about the show, okay? This is just a flyer advertising it," James handed Alec a flyer with the date and time of the show. "I can't wait to see what you're going to submit."

Alec shoved the flyer into his backpack and shuffled along to his next class. He was so excited to tell Magnus all about the show that he couldn't even keep a straight face. He wanted to just go home right now and call Magnus-

"Hey Alec!" A voice called out. 

He turned to see who said his name when something hard made contact with his face; someone had punched him. He was on the ground in an instant, and that was when he felt kicks to the stomach, hard and swift, along with more punches to the face. He cried out, struggling to get away, but whoever was hitting him had a firm grip on the collar of his shirt. 

With his ears now ringing from being hit in the head repeatedly, a distorted voice said "Happy new year, faggot" and then the assault stopped. 

And that's when Alec fell into darkness. 

\----------

"Magnus. Phone call on line three."

Magnus looked up from his computer screen. "Is it Isabelle again?"

Aline shrugged. "No idea. It's some lady. Said it's urgent."

Magnus cleared his throat and picked up the line. "Magnus Bane speaking. How can I help you?"

"Mr. Bane? I'm Nurse Jessamine. I'm calling in regards to Alec Lightwood. It says here that you're his emergency contact?"

Magnus felt his heart fall to the floor. "Yes. I've been added under his contacts since early October. Is everything okay with him?"

A pause. "Actually, no. A student here found him unconscious in the middle of the hallway. He was covered in blood."

Magnus fell from his chair onto the floor with a clatter. "What....what happened? Is he okay? Where is he now?"

"He's fine. He's here in our infirmary sleeping soundly. We suspect he might've been beaten up. By who, we have yet to review the security cameras to determine that. But his face is pretty bruised up and he has a split lip. His ribs are also bruised and may be broken. He needs an X-ray."

All the air in Magnus' lungs seemed to have left him the more the nurse described Alec's injuries. He could just visualize Alec laying still in the hospital bed, looking almost dead because of how still he was. And why they didn't call an ambulance from there was beyond his understanding. 

"We can't get a hold of his parents so that's why we called you. He needs to get to a hospital for an X-ray. Unless you're busy...."

"No. No. I'll come get him. Just keep him there for me until I get there. Make sure he doesn't move an inch. I'll be there as soon as possible. Thank you." He hung up and grabbed his coat off the back of his chair. 

Aline poked her head over his cubicle. "What's the matter? Is Alec okay?"

"No. Someone beat him up in school. He needs to go to a hospital," said Magnus as he zipped his coat. "Cover for me?"

Aline nodded. "Always will. Give Alec my love."

It felt as if it only took Magnus seconds to get to the university. Since he had no idea how to get to the infirmary, he had a professor who just so happened to be at the front desk in the main entrance lead him there. 

A nurse looked up from her desk and saw Magnus standing there and came over to where he stood. "Magnus Bane? We managed to calm him down somewhat. He woke up screaming. We think he's in a lot of pain...."

Magnus gulped. "Can I....can I see him?"

The nurse nodded. "Go on in. He'll be glad to see you."

He stepped into the small room and felt his heart drop. Alec was laying on the small bed, barely long enough to house his tall, lean frame, with a swollen eye and a split lip like the nurse described. His face was badly bruised and he was shirtless, a white bandage wrapped around his possibly broken ribs. 

Magnus cleared his throat. "Alec? It's me. Magnus."

Alec slowly cracked open his eyes and let out a low moan. "Magnus....it h-hurts. It hurts so much."

"I know, gorgeous. I know." Magnus pulled a chair over and sat beside him. "I'm here now. Shhh. It's okay. Don't cry. You're going to make me cry if you do."

Alec wiped the tears that rolled down his cheeks, wincing as he accidentally touched his swollen eye. "Why Alec, Magnus? Wh-why did Alec get beat up? Did nothing wrong. N-nothing. Just going to class when-"

Magnus gripped Alec's hand as the hazel eyed angel began to cry mid sentence. "You're okay now. I'm going to take you to a hospital and we're going to get you checked out. Make sure nothing is wrong."

Alec choked back a sob. "There is something wrong, Magnus. Really wrong."

"What's wrong? Tell me."

Alec sniffled. "There's something wrong with Alec," he reached up and tapped his forehead. "Here. Alec m-messed up in the head. Stupid. Slow. R-retarded."

Magnus huffed in anger. "Don't you dare say that about yourself. There is absolutely nothing wrong with you," he hissed. "Whoever told you this can go fuck a shark. I'm sorry for swearing but this makes me angry. There's nothing wrong with you, Alec. You're perfect. People are just....people are just mean. They fear what they don't understand. It's how the world operates."

Alec let out a long whine and stared up at the ceiling. "Alec remembers the names the attackers called him. N-not nice. No. All kinds of names as they hit Alec. So much pain...."

Magnus gripped Alec's hand. "You ignore them. Whatever they said to you isn't true, okay? There's nothing wrong with you. Your mind is just fine-"

"They touched Alec."

Magnus paused. "They what?"

Alec groaned. His knuckles on his free hand had gone white from gripping the bedsheets so tightly. "They t-touched Alec. In bad places. Didn't feel nice. Hurt."

Magnus could feel his breathing becoming faster. "Alec, where exactly did they touch you?"

Alec grimaced before patting the area below his waistline. "It wasn't a nice feeling, Magnus. Felt d-dirty. Alec feels sick now. Going to vomit."

Magnus grabbed a bucket and allowed Alec to vomit into it. Letting Alec do his thing privately, he went back out to where one of the nurses was seated at the desk. He assumed it was the one who called him at work. "Excuse me. Who brought Alec in?"

Nurse Jessamine looked up. "Oh, gosh. I don't know their name but they brought him in just before classes were over. Poor boy would've been humiliated out of his mind."

"Humiliated? How?"

Nurse Jessamine frowned. "The person who brought him in said that Alec's pants and underwear were down and the word...." She sighed heavily. "The word faggot was written on his....you know. I'm just glad this person had the decency to pull up Alec's pants. That poor young man....I hear he's a sweet boy. Loves music. Sometimes after hours I'll hear him playing beautifully from the music room just down the hall there. He plays like an angel."

Magnus clenched his hands into a fist and nodded. "Thank you. I'll return here again once we find out who did this and whether or not we'll be pressing charges."

Back in the small room, Alec looked utterly exhausted. When Magnus stepped back in, he groaned as he tried to sit up. "Go home now Magnus, yeah? Go home and shower? Alec feel yucky."

"Soon, handsome. We have to get you to a hospital first. You need an X-ray on those ribs of yours. Make sure nothing inside is injured or broken."

Alec sighed. "Only thing br-broken is Alec's heart. People are so mean, Magnus. Very mean."

"I know. If we find out who did this, you won't have to worry about them anymore. You're pressing charges, right?"

Alec nodded weakly. "Yeah. Alec know who did this too."

Magnus perked up. "You do? Who was it? Was there more than one person?"

"One quest-question at a time, Magnus. Remember?"

"Oops. Sorry....but you know exactly who did this?" He breathed out a sigh of relief when Alec nodded. "I'm so glad you do, Alec. These assholes deserve what's coming to them. I hope they suffer."

Alec shrugged. "I'm angry at the world for not treating me the way I deserve to be treated. I'm a p-part of it. I don't want pity, Magnus. I don't look for it."

"Then what are you looking for?" Magnus asked, surprised with how quickly Alec slipped into first person pronouns. 

Alec looked up at him, his hazel eyes more clear than they ever have been, and fell back into third person. "Alec already found what he's looking for."

Elated, Magnus leaned down and kissed Alec's hand with a broad smile. "Good. Because I did too."

Alec hummed happily. "Wait. If Alec got to s-stay out of school because of injuries, will he fall behind?"

"Don't worry about school. I'll handle everything. You just focus on getting this X-ray over with and get better. I'll worry about the rest."

Alec seemed somewhat comforted by this as he sighed heavily. "Izzy and Jace....Alec's brother and sister aren't going to-to be happy when they hear about this. Might even want revenge."

Magnus shook his head. "Let them do whatever they want to do. You don't have to participate. Just get better and then focus on the future. That's all that matters at this point."

Alec cocked his head as he watched Magnus pull out a fresh t-shirt from his bag. "Can Alec's future be with Magnus?"

Magnus froze in place for a moment. "Maybe. We'll have to see. You're not the one who's going to get in serious trouble if you get caught doing something you shouldn't be."

"What's th-that supposed to mean?" Alec asked. "Tell Alec, yeah? Explain please."

Magnus shook his head. "Forget about it. It's nothing. Let's get you dressed and to a hospital. I'll call your parents from there. Can you walk?"

Sitting up slowly, Alec gasped as a sharp pain shot through his middle. He shook his head, meaning no he couldn't. 

"I'll grab you a wheelchair. Don't move," Magnus disappeared for s moment and returned with a chair for Alec. "I know what you're thinking. You think you'll look weak in this chair. Vulnerable."

Alec nodded, slowly getting into the chair. "Yeah. A little bit."

"Well don't. Because some of the most badass mofos were in wheelchairs. Look at Charles Xavier from the X-Men. Powerful telepathic, didn't take shit from anyone, and would spill your most deepest darkest secret in seconds if he wanted."

Alec giggled. "Xavier. Same as Alec's dog's name! He's not telepathic though."

"Thank god. We'd be screwed if he was. Imagine having a dog voice in your head all day. That wouldn't be good at all," Magnus laughed as Alec visibly settled into his chair. "Alrighty, big guy. You ready to see a doctor?"

Alec nodded. "Yeah. Can Magnus get McDonald's after the hospital? Alec starving."

Magnus couldn't help but snort at the expression on Alec's face. "You want McDonald's after? Seriously?"

"S-seriously."

"Alright then. If that's what you want, then I'll pick it up for you. But that's for after your X-ray. Got it?"

Alec gave him a thumbs up. "Got it."


	27. Twenty Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sensitive material ahead. Discretion is advised.

"The good news is that nothing's broken. Just badly bruised. I recommend as much rest as possible. Only move when absolutely necessary. Also, we did a prostate exam. Nothing seems to be damaged. Also, our specialist says that Alexander's genitals seem unharmed."

Alec breathed out slowly, feeling uncomfortable with the talk about his private area. His middle was wrapped firmly with a bandage and it was difficult to move, even the slightest. His face also had a few stitches but nothing too serious. It was his ribs that hurt most. 

"What about the people that did this?" asked Maryse. This was the first time she's spoken since going into the hospital. She was dead quiet the entire wait for the doctor, which made Alec feel a little uneasy. 

The doctor looked down at Alec. "Are you pressing charges, Alexander?"

Alec mumbled but nodded. 

"There's your answer. Charges will be pressed and the party involved will more than likely be expelled." He pulled out a pen and scribbled something down on a piece of paper. "While we're here, I'll write up another prescription for your anxiety medication. How are you handling it?"

Alec looked to his parents to answer, but the only person who knew the true answer to that question was himself. "F-fine," he groaned. "Just fine."

"No panic attacks? Breakdowns?"

Alec shook his head. That was a lie. He had panic attacks a few times when he was with Magnus but Magnus helped calm him down. 

"Excellent. Well that's all the questions I have. Anything else that comes to mind or if you feel like something is wrong, give me a call. I'll take you in immediately."

"Thank you so much, Doctor Cartwright. For everything," Robert nodded and shook the doctor's hand before turning to Alec. "How are you feeling, slugger?"

Alec groaned weakly. "Like Alec just got beat up. That's how he feels."

"We'll bring you back home with us where we can keep an eye on you, okay baby?" Maryse kissed him on the forehead. "I'll put some soup on for you and make some sandwiches while you and dad watch a movie or something."

"Alec will be-be fine, mumma. Go home. My place," Alec tapped his chest, wincing. 

Maryse frowned. "Alec, no one's there to watch you or make sure you're okay-"

"I'll be there."

The Lightwoods glanced up and saw Magnus standing in the doorway. He looked a little disheveled; coat on crookedly and hair a windswept mess. Alec thought he looked absolutely lovely. 

"Magnus. You can't possibly handle office work and watch my son at the same time. That's too much responsibility," said Maryse. 

"With all due respect, Mrs. Lightwood, Alec is my responsibility. I applied for this job to help him, and that's exactly what I intend to do. Therefore, I quit my day job at the office and would like to work with Alec full time."

Maryse and Robert's mouths had fell open as they gaped at Magnus in surprise. Alec, on the other hand, was doing excited ebackflips in his head. 

"Are you sure?" Robert asked him. "We know the place you're renting isn't exactly cheap...."

"Yeah. About that...." Magnus ran a hand through his hair sheepishly. "Is it okay if I ask for a raise? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. And I don't want to be a bother either."

Robert looked at his wife. She shrugged. "We'll give you a raise. But you do realize that you're working a 12 hour shift everyday. Sunday to Saturday."

"I know. But it's for Alec's sake. Not mine. He can't be alone right now. Especially not after a trauma like this. The best medicine for him right now is to be with someone, and I can't think of a better someone than myself. Not that you guys aren't good or anything. You're his parents. He loves you to the moon and back."

Alec cleared his throat. "Magnus is r-right, mumma. Alec doesn't want to be alone right now. Being taken out of school, yeah? Would like some company for-for the long days."

Maryse puffed out her cheeks and sighed. "Fine. It does make more sense to have someone with you for the time being. But until you're healed, I expect things will go back to the way they were before?"

Too late for that, Magnus thought. "Of course. Right Alec?"

Everyone turned to see Alec sound asleep on the hospital bed, his head tilted back onto the pillow and his mouth open slightly, soft snores coming from his nose. 

"Painkillers must've knocked him right out," Robert chuckled. "Should we wake him? Or see if they can keep him overnight?"

"Wake him up. He'll be much more comfortable in his own bed. I'll go grab a wheelchair from the hall," Maryse strode out of the room, heels clicking on the linoleum floor.

Robert chuckled as he went over to stand next to Magnus. "My son really admires you. Maybe more than he'd like to admit. Is there anything going on that you might want to talk to me about?"

Magnus nearly choked on air. "What? No. Of course not. There's nothing going on between us. It's strictly professional."

Robert was about to say something when Maryse returned with a wheelchair. "We'll talk another time," he whispered in Magnus' ear. 

Oh joy. 

"Alec? Sweetie, wake up. We're going to bring you home," Maryse said, moving a strand of Alec's fringe from his forehead. "Do you need any help getting out of bed?"

Alec groaned sleepily. "Wh-no. What w-was the question? So tired. Can barely keep eyes open...."

He didn't object to being touched when his father helped him sit up and get into the chair, being very careful of his son's ribs. The morphine must've really did a number on him; his head kept lolling backwards and forwards and he was giggling uncontrollably at seemingly nothing. 

"We're gonna take you home, bud. You'll be more comfortable there than in a hospital for a night. Plus you must be hungry too," Maryse pat her son's hair down. It was amazing how it always stuck up in every direction no matter how many times she tried to flatten it. 

"Is Magnus coming too?" Alec giggled as they wheeled him over a little bump on the floor. "Magnus said he'd-he'd get Alec McDonald's for lunch."

Maryse and Robert were suddenly looking at Magnus, and he felt an enormous amount of pressure to answer immediately. "I did say that, but if you guys had other plans, I won't interfere."

"We don't have other plans. We're just surprised. He hasn't eaten from there in years," said Robert. 

"He choked on a chicken nugget when he was 10. Scared him half to death so he hadn't touched anything from there ever since," Maryse added. "It's a little weird to hear him say he wants McDonald's considering what happened to him as a child."

"Mumma," Alec whispered. He pat his thigh with a hand to get her attention and squinted once he had it. "Alec not a child anymore. R-remember? Stop-stop treating him like one. Grown man. Grown man who's really hungry."

Robert smirked as his wife turned red in the face. "We know you are, Alec. Your mom just wants to make sure that you're being well taken care of. That's all."

Alec puffed out his cheeks. He didn't need to be well taken care of. He could take care of himself just fine without his parents coddling him like a baby. "Just drop Alec off at home please. Too tired to argue...."

Magnus said nothing. He knew why Alec was frustrated. He hated feeling weak and small, which was understandable. His parents were constantly treating him like a child when all he wanted was to looked at and treated like an adult. 

He finally spoke up once they were out in the parking lot of the hospital. "I'm going to go ahead and pick up the food. What did you want me to get you?" he said to Alec. 

Alec stared and Magnus suddenly got a very real impression that this was probably the first time Alec was ever asked what he wanted. The pain and sympathy stabbed him in the heart like a dagger the longer he waited for Alec to answer, but he'd wait forever for Alec. 

"Chicken nuggets," Alec said, voice barely above a whisper. Magnus practically had to strain his ears to hear what he was saying. "Nuggets and fries. Milk-milkshake too please."

Maryse cringed. "Alec, you don't need all that greasy food. It's bad for you."

"So is-is treating Alec like a baby. Not good for mumma or Alec. Please stop," Alec looked up at his mother and frowned. Magnus almost did a backflip. The morphine must be making Alec more brave than usual. 

"Fine. Just make sure to exercise twice as hard to work out the extra calories and you should be fine-"

Magnus had to walk away before he strangled Maryse. So this is why Alec exercised so early in the morning and at night after he ate. Maryse drilled it into his head. Magnus wished he could drill into Maryse's head.....

"Thank you Magnus!" Alec's voice broke him out of his thoughts. Turning, he saw Alec smiling broadly at him from the backseat of his parent's car. "Thank you for getting Alec food and tr-treating Alec like an adult."

Magnus' lips twitched. He couldn't smile back mainly because Maryse was giving him the death glare from the front passenger seat. "No problem. I'll see you at your place in a bit, okay? We'll catch a movie on Netflix or something."

Alec nodded and immediately collapsed back into the seat, fast asleep and snoring once again. 

\----------

An hour later (and several trips to various stores later) he was finally settled down back at Alec's place. Alec was happily seated on his comfortable recliner dipping a chicken nugget in his sauce and humming in content. His long and lanky body could barely fit into the recliner. He dwarfed it completely. 

"So what's the deal with your mom? She babies you an awful lot," Magnus said as he popped a fry in his mouth. He had gotten a junior chicken and a medium fries for himself. Both were delicious. 

Alec shrugged. "Mumma thinks Alec still a li-little boy. But Alec is an adult. Can look after himself-" Xavier cut him off with a grumble. "Xavier help. Sorry, boy. Good-good boy, yeah?"

Magnus smirked as Alec gave his dog a piece of chicken nugget. "You're adorable. Did you know that?"

Alec eyes flickered, going from amused to sad. "No. Alec not adorable....no. Not really."

"Not really?!" Magnus tossed a fry at Alec, which Xavier caught in midair. "Don't be ridiculous. You're adorable! I said so. It's final. No arguments."

Alec didn't argue. He just took a slurp of his milkshake and stared off into space. "Alec doesn't love himself like he loves Magnus."

Magnus paused. "Why not? Everyone should love themselves."

Alec groaned. He rubbed his neck before speaking again. "Alec doesn't love himself because he was never g-given a reason to."

This shattered Magnus' heart. If it wasn't already shattered before, it was definitely shattered now. It felt like watching a mirror drop and break into a million pieces and no one could put it back together even if they tried. Alec was too pure and too kind to feel this way. Alexander Lightwood, the young man with the heart of an angel, didn't love himself because he felt like he didn't deserve it. 

"Alexander," Magnus enunciated. He liked the way the name rolled off his tongue. "I will be your reason to love yourself. I love you. That's reason enough."

Alec looked dazed for a moment. It was as if he couldn't believe that someone was telling him to love himself because someone else did, which was true. But years of being told to put others first before himself wasn't going to change that quickly because of a simple sentence. No. Magnus knew it was going to take a while before the change clicked in Alec's head and he realized that he's allowed love himself. 

"Magnus.....Alec still can't love himself. No-no way. Nothing to love."

Magnus rolled his eyes and Alec shoved a nugget into his mouth. "Alexander Gideon Lightwood. I will tell you what I love about you. And I'm actually sober this time so I'll remember every word I say." He got to his feet and stood so that he was fully facing Alec on the recliner. "I love the way your eyes crinkle around the edges when you smile broadly. You laugh with your entire body and your shoulders shake when you giggle. I love the way you squint when you're confused or when you're concentrating really hard and your tongue pokes out of your mouth a little bit. You have the most beautiful voice I've ever heard in my life and your eyes sparkle when you're enticed by something. The way you play piano both breaks my heart and lifts my soul and I would wake up everyday to the sound of your music with a smile on my face. I love how gentle you are, despite the fact you're half Sasquatch, and it amazes me how brave you are. You talk with your hands and you make stories seem much more interesting when you do. Everyday, you amaze me with something new and I'm honored to be your reason to love yourself. Because I think everyone should love themselves, even when no one else does. It's just an added bonus when someone comes along and tells you that they do."

Alec stared at him for the longest time without speaking, but he eventually broke his gaze away and focused on opening another sweet and sour sauce. Did he say too much? Was he having trouble understanding what he was saying? Magnus felt kind of silly for standing there and waiting for a reply of any kind. He almost did the jazz hands to imply that he was finished speaking but he didn't. He allowed Alec to process what was just said to him. 

"Magnus?" Alec finally said. 

"Yeah?" Magnus felt his heart thud faster in his chest. 

Alec rubbed his fingers together and huffed. "Alec doesn't really know what M-Magnus just said but thank you. It was nice. Even if Alec didn't really understand. Sorry."

Magnus felt defeated but he didn't dare show it. "That's okay. I more or less said you deserve to love and be loved, regardless of what you think of yourself. That's all."

Alec nodded. "Okay. Alec will try very h-hard, yeah? Try to love himself for Magnus. Yes."

Magnus smiled as Alec raised his milkshake to share a sip with him. "I know you will, Alec. That's all I ever ask of you is to just try."

Alec beamed when Magnus took a sip. "Trying is the first-first step to success."

Magnus blinked in surprise. "You remember me saying that?"

"Alec remember everything. Photo....photographic? Photographic memory. Never forget a thing."

Huh. That was new. No one ever told him that Alec had a photographic memory. "You never mentioned it before...."

Alec shrugged. "Magnus didn't ask."

"Fair enough," Magnus chuckled. "Listen....good job standing up to your mom today. I thought for sure she was going to explode and get mad right there in public."

Alec's entire body shook when he laughed. "Yeah! But mumma didn't. Surprised Alec. Did she say anything to Magnus at hospital? Tell Alec."

"She didn't say anything." Which was the truth. "She actually didn't say much when I showed up. Starting to think she secretly hates me for whatever reason."

"She doesn't hate you. That's im-impossible. No one can hate Magnus," Alec squinted one eye in an attempt to wink. 

"Are you okay over there?" Magnus snorted. "You look like someone just poked you in the eye and now you can't see out of it."

Offended, Alec exclaimed, "Winking! Alec is winking! Can't really w-wink because of sore eye, though. So silly, Magnus. Alec love that about you."

"Thanks bud. I'm glad my silliness is well appreciated."

Alec hummed in content, chewing up another nugget before swallowing and speaking again. "Magnus, what's a daddy kink?"

It was Magnus' turn to choke on his McDonald's. "What did you just say?!"

Alec winced as Magnus raised his voice. "Alec asked what a-a daddy kink was. Why?"

Magnus chuckled embarrassedly. "It's.....uh....it's a thing where you....you like....the thing is about that...."

Alec quickly grew bored of waiting for him to answer so he flicked on the tv. "Alec will look it up on iPad later. Magnus too slow answering."

"Okay. But you're not going to like what you read...." said Magnus in a singsong voice. 

"Why? Is it bad? Jace said it's when p-people have a thing for older men."

Magnus coughed to cover a laugh. "Sure, Alec. That's exactly what it is. Jace explained it to you already."

Alec cocked his head. "Okay. Alec watch tv now. Shh."

And that was the end of that conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This needs to be said. 
> 
> In case you're about to send me a nasty comment, consider this for a moment. I'm not writing this story with ableist intentions. If I offend anyone, anyone at all, feel free to comment and let me know. But instead of sending me hate, tell me how I can improve so that it's less offensive. Tell me what I'm doing wrong so I can change it. Telling me to delete the entire works when there's tons of Malec fics and other fics out there that are MUCH worse than this that need to be deleted. Trust me. They're out there. 
> 
> Yes, I'm not autistic. And it's okay to be fascinated with the topic because it's something you're not really familiar with and you want to learn more about it. That was the case with me. And I tagged this as "autism awareness" because that's my goal with this story. To raise awareness. And to call that term offensive is ridiculous. There is literally a day that tries to bring awareness to autism that's legit called Autism Awareness Day. I don't know what else you want me to call it. I'm sorry. I really don't. 
> 
> So if you don't have anything nice to say, I kindly advise you not to say anything at all. This story isn't set out to hurt or offend anyone (but if it does, like I said, let me know) and so far people are enjoying this and learning from it. Just scroll away. Exit your tab. Don't come in my comments with your negativity when all I'm trying to do is spread positivity. I know what my endgame for this story is. You don't. 
> 
> So thank you to those who are positive and commenting beautiful things. You're what is making this story possible. Thank you.


	28. Twenty Eight

"Who the fuck did this to you?! I'll kill them!"

"Jace, please calm down. You're scaring Alec....." Magnus ushered for Alec's younger brother to sit on the couch. "Can I get you something to drink? Water? Coffee?"

"I'll have a cup of revenge because that's what those fuckers are gonna get once I put my hands on them."

The next day wasn't what Magnus was expecting. He arrived at Alec's early that morning to see breakfast already laid out on the table, with Alec pouring up some coffee for them both. There was toast with assorted spreads laid out neatly on the table, some scrambled eggs, strips of bacon and a couple of sausages on a plate. This was a pleasant surprise considering the crappy night he had. He dreamt that Alec was getting beat up but he was trapped inside a cage and couldn't do a thing about it. He was drenched in sweat when he woke up that morning, barely having the strength to get out of bed to go to work. 

"I didn't know you drank coffee," Magnus had said. It tasted delicious when he took a small sip. "And I didn't know you could make a mean breakfast either."

"Sometimes. Just on days wh-where Alec feel terrible. Like today. And this is a nice breakfast. Not a mean one."

Magnus took the piping hot coffee from Alec's hands. "You shouldn't be moving around so much, Alec. You're supposed to be resting, remember? Doctor's orders."

Alec shook his head. "Alec wanted to do something n-nice for Magnus. Dig in. Lots-lots there, yeah?"

They ate breakfast in silence together until Jace stormed the castle, yelling and cursing and practically spitting fire because he was that angry. 

"Jace, you need to calm down. You're disturbing the peace," Magnus turned to look at Alec in the kitchen. The young man had his chin resting on the table and his ears covered with his hands. 

"Sorry. I'm just-I'm so fucking angry right now. Our dad called me last night and told me what happened. Isabelle knows too but she's more like the peacekeeper nowadays. When I heard what happened all I wanted to do...." He lowered his voice. "I wanted to kill them, Magnus. Like kill them dead."

"Kill them dead. Interesting concept. But you're not actually going to do anything, right? You're just saying that because you're angry." Jace was silent. "Oh my god. You're actually serious. Jace, you can't go doing anything stupid or reckless. You'll end up in deep trouble. And I mean deep."

Jace heaved a weary sigh before running a hand through his blonde hair. "I know. But they can't get away with what they did to Alec. They just can't."

The door blew open again and Isabelle marched in. 

"Where is he?" She demanded. 

"I assume you mean Alec. He's in the kit-" Isabelle was already gone before Magnus could even finish speaking. "Right. I must be talking out of my ass today. No one really seems to be listening to me."

From the kitchen, he could hear Isabelle speaking softly to Alec. When he peered in, she was stroking his hair like a cat. Amazingly, he leaned into it and nodded at something she said. 

"She'd never admit it but she did some pretty wild stuff when we were kids just to protect Alec," Jace spoke up. "She pinned a boy down once and put glue on his lips just because he called Alec dumb."

Magnus almost burst out laughing at the thought of tiny little Isabelle gluing a boy's lips together. "She sounded like a badass back in the day."

"She still is," Jace snorted. "You weren't there when it happened but at the Christmas party, she stabbed the point of her high heel into some guy's thigh all because he said that Alec belonged in the looney bin." He used air quotes as he said looney bin. 

Magnus raised an eyebrow. "Alec isn't sick though."

"Which is exactly why she stabbed him with her heel. Don't ever mess with her. She's deadly. Small but deadly."

"What are you two whispering about in here?" Isabelle strode into the room and took a seat on the couch, long legs crossed. Magnus noticed that long legs ran in the Lightwood family. Jace wasn't even blood related and even he had long legs.

"Nothing. Just talking about plotting revenge and the like. Wanna join us?" Jace asked. 

"Just to be clear, I'm not plotting revenge. I have enough on my plate as it is. There's no room on there for revenge," said Magnus. "Is Alec okay in there? He's not frightened by Jace's raised voice is he?"

Isabelle shook her head. "No. He told me he's stressed out. Which is understandable. He just went through something very traumatic. I'd be stressed the fuck out too if I went through something like that."

"Let's hope you don't. It's bad enough Alec had to go through it. I don't need my sister having a trauma too," Jace shook his head and sighed before turning to look at Magnus. "Mom told us you quit your job to work with Alec full time?"

"Yeah. I had to. There's no one here to make sure he's okay. You're busy with work. Isabelle teaches. Your parents work too. I'm the only one who can keep an eye on him."

"Well then," Isabelle said. "Thanks for making me feel bad."

With a sigh, Magnus shook his head. "I didn't mean it in a bad way. I'm just saying that the only person who's fully avilable to keep a close watch on him is me."

From the kitchen, Alec began to hum a song as he set up his painting kit. The easel was already set up. He was just opening the colors that he needed. 

"Alec, you shouldn't be up and about. Let your body heal before you do anything strenuous," Magnus reminded him. 

"Painting is healing. Healing Alec. Shh," Alec grumbled. He didn't want to be interrupted at a time like this. 

"Oh. Sorry. I'll leave you to your healing then." Magnus returned his attention to Isabelle and Jace. "Can I trust you two not to do anything stupid? You're not kids anymore. You can't just go....beat people up."

Jace smirked. "Magnus. We don't just beat anyone up. We just beat up the ones that mess with our older brother."

"That doesn't help much either. I'm saying leave this to the police. Alec knows who did this. He's pressing charges. Case closed." When Magnus glanced at Jace, he could see that the case wasn't closed. Not by a long shot. "You're still going to go ahead and do something anyway, aren't you? I can see it in your eyes."

"You're not wrong. But I'm not going to stand by and do nothing while my brother's attackers could quite possibly walk free. I'd rather go to jail for doing something about it instead of standing by and doing nothing." Jace looked over at Isabelle. "Izzy, go see if you can get some names out of him. First and last. We're doing this tonight."

Isabelle nodded once before striding into the kitchen where was peacefully painting something on his white paper. He paused when Isabelle leaned into his ear, saying something quietly to him. Magnus saw his expression change and he said something back, but couldn't hear what it was. After a moment he leaned in and said something to Isabelle. When her eyes widened, that's when Magnus knew that Alec gave her what she wanted to know. 

She came back into the living room a minute later. "Got what we need. Let's go."

"Wait," Magnus stopped them in their tracks. "I thought you said this was happening tonight? Not right this instant?"

Jace placed a hand on Magnus' shoulder. "Relax. This kind of stuff takes planning. Lots of planning. Good thing Izzy took today off. Otherwise I'd be doing this on my own."

"Like I'd let you," Isabelle hissed. "I called in sick today because I'm sick to my stomach that some prick with balls the size of peas had the nerve to lay his hands on Alec. I'm going to take his minuscule pea sized balls and rip them off with my bare hands-"

"Okay. We're getting a little too carried away in here now. Go plan your revenge. Alec and I will be here watching the news to see if you guys made the top story," Magnus shoved them out the door, leaning back against it once it was closed, and sighed heavily. 

"Are they gone now?" Alec's voice said from the kitchen. 

"Yeah. Sorry about that. They're a little mad...." Magnus locked the front door and went into the kitchen. There was still some coffee left so he poured the remainder of it in a mug and drank it. It was a little bitter but it didn't taste too bad. "What are you painting?"

Alec didn't respond. His entire mind was completely focused on his painting, enthralled with the way the brush moved smoothly over the canvas and as the colors mixed together. He barely even heard Magnus ask him a question; his voice sounded like it was coming from far away in the distance. 

Hyperfocus. Magnus noticed that from time to time, Alec would be completely under the spell of whatever he was doing. He couldn't hear anything or speak until his task was complete, so knowing this, Magnus took a seat on the stool beside the island and watched as Alec painted. 

There was something oddly relaxing about watching Alec paint. Even if they weren't talking to one another, Magnus found an odd sort of comfort in watching the paintbrush move back and forth over the canvas as Alec gracefully moved his wrist and arm. It looked like a dance, and he made it look so easy. He was graceful and smooth and every movement seemed expertly calculated. Not a brushstroke out of place. 

Just when he thought Alec was finished, the hazel eyed Bambi hunched over to fill in one of the lower corners of the canvas with some more paint. When he made this movement, Magnus inhaled sharply. Didn't this hurt Alec's ribs? Did he even feel it? There was no point in asking. Alec wasn't going to answer. So all Magnus could do was watch as the muscles in Alec's back shifted and contracted under his white t-shirt with every movement he made. He particularly liked the way the sleeves tightened around Alec's biceps when he flexed. 

After what seemed like forever, Alec finally stood up to admire his work. "Alec finished now. Want-want to see?"

Magnus stood beside him and looked at the painting. It was a mess of colors; various shades of green, yellow, black and blue. It didn't have a distinct shape of any kind. It was just color splattered across the board. "What is it?" He asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

Alec's breath came out as a shudder. "It's the bruises on Alec's skin. That's the colors they m-make."

Magnus had no idea how to respond to that. It was obvious that this was Alec's way of coping with the recent event, but it hit Magnus hard. Really hard. Seeing the colors on the canvas made him want to hold Alec in his arms and try to comfort him as best as he could. 

"Alec took his bandage off this morning. Saw bruises on skin. Reminded him of paint...." Alec's hand unconsciously reached up and touched his side, his face scrunched into a wince of pain. "It hurts. A lot."

"I know it does. Which is why I told you that you need to stop moving around so much. You're making it worse," Magnus placed a gentle hand over Alec's, which was still positioned over the bruise on his side. "Come on. Let get comfortable on the couch for a while. Let your body relax for a bit."

"But Alec's painting...." Alec groaned. 

"It'll still be here at lunchtime. No one's going to touch it. I promise."

Alec nodded. His body actually did feel tired, and his legs felt like jelly the longer he tried to keep himself upright. He didn't tell anyone that his sleep last night was a restless one; he tossed and turned as he tried to escape the people in his nightmare, but it was no use. He woke up that morning drenched in sweat and breathing heavily. Not even Xavier could calm him down. 

Magnus sensed Alec's uneasiness. "I was thinking we should have a tv show marathon. Your pick. We'll start right from the beginning and get in as many episodes as we can today. How does that sound?"

Shrugging, Alec shuffled into the living room without saying a word. Magnus followed close behind, rambling on about Netflix ruined his life and how he once spent an entire week binge watching a show called Dexter. He would've been paying more attention if it wasn't for the throbbing pain coming from his side. He tried to focus on Magnus as he talked, but his head felt overwhelmed with everything that was going on. 

"Alec. Are you okay?" Magnus asked. 

Alec moaned. "No. Sore. So much pain. Won't....won't go away."

Magnus held his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I saw some A5-35 in your bathroom. Maybe if I put some on you, it might help ease the pain a bit?"

Alec nodded. He didn't particularly like that ointment mainly because of the strong smell, but at least it would help with his aching side. Magnus had already disappeared into the bathroom to get the ointment, so he took the liberty of taking off his shirt. 

"There's not much left but I think I can-oh. Oh wow....." Magnus stopped dead in his tracks when he saw Alec up on his feet, taking off his shirt. He was back on to Magnus, but Magnus had no complaints. He liked the view of Alec's broad back and shoulders as they moved slowly to accommodate Alec's sore side. He tried not to look at the way Alec's hips narrowed into his sweats, but obviously he failed miserably if he inhaled sharply at the sight of two small dimples in Alec's lower back. "Uh.....you ready? I found the cream."

Alec jumped in surprise. "Y-yeah. Ready. Just let Alec get comfortable first......"

Magnus waited patiently as Alec stretched out on the couch and fixed himself so that he wasn't causing himself any pain. "Are you sure about this? I don't want to hurt you by accident...."

Alec nodded. "Alec sure. Just be gentle, yeah? G-go slow."

"I'll always be gentle with you," Magnus smiled as he unwrapped Alec's bandage. He took a deep breath once it was undone and bit his lip to keep himself from saying anything about the bruise. It looked eerily similar to the painting in the kitchen; same colors and all. "Let me know if I'm hurting you, okay?"

Alec nodded and closed his eyes. He heard the squirt of the ointment bottle and braced himself for possible pain, but was surprised when the cold cream touched his skin. "Ow. That's c-cold."

"I know. Sorry," Magnus snickered. He could see goosebumps rise on Alec's skin, as well as his nipples pucker in reaction to the cold. "It'll only be for a minute. This will take away the pain in no time."

Magnus slowly began to massage his skin in a soft, circular motion. If it were under other circumstances, Alec would've enjoyed this much more. Magnus had nice hands. They were made for moments like these. He wasn't too rough and he wasn't too gentle that you could barely feel him. He was just right. 

Alec groaned in what sounded like pleasure. It was a sexy sound, Magnus thought. Deep and guttural. He could feel it in his stomach. The more he massaged Alec, the more responses he was getting out of the younger man. The groans slowly turned to moans and Magnus soon found himself unable to handle it anymore. He leaned down and his mouth collided onto Alec's, kissing him with a fire almost as powerful as Jace's need for payback. If not even more fierce. 

It was at that moment Magnus fully realized how plump and pink Alec's lips were. He found that the space between Alec's upper lip and nose was surprisingly nice to suck on. He could even feel the onset of stubble as he ran his tongue across that area. Alec giggled quietly in response. 

But Alec had no objections, completely forgetting about the fact that Magnus normally asked for permission before doing things like this. Alec didn't mind. He trusted Magnus, and he quite liked the way Magnus let his mouth explore his body, starting with his mouth and then slowly making his way lower; over his jaw, down his throat, across both collarbones, and even his chest. But Magnus paused when he reached Alec's stomach, stopping to trace the bruises with a gentle finger, but extra careful not to hurt him. 

"Does it still hurt?" He asked, his voice croaking and barely a whisper. 

"N-not anymore. Magnus kissed it and made it better," Alec whispered back. 

This made Magnus smile broadly. "You're so corny. God, I love you so much, Alec. More than you'll ever know."

He went back up to Alec's mouth and kissed him again, feeling Alec's hands on his waist. He thought for sure that Alec was about to stop him but as it turns out, he was actually trying to take Magnus' shirt off with his own two hands. 

"Alec, what are you doing?" Magnus shifted so that he was in a sitting up position on the end of the couch. 

"Alec saw this in movies. Magnus take off his shirt. Keep kissing. Isn't that h-how it goes?" Alec cocked his head. 

"Not all the time. I mean....unless you want me to take off my shirt. Do you?" His heart skipped a beat when Alec nodded. He wasn't going to deny Alec of what he wanted, so he grabbed the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head. He heard Alec take a sharp breath as he tossed his shirt to the side. He felt oddly exposed like this with Alec looking him over. Magnus had no idea what Alec was even thinking at this point. Judging from the look in his eyes, he guessed that Alec didn't even know what to say. 

"Magnus....." Alec croaked. 

Magnus shifted his leg, which had gone dead underneath him. "Yeah?"

Reaching up slowly, Alec placed the palm of his hand on Magnus' chest. He couldn't believe how smooth it was compared to his own. It was was golden and rock hard under his hand, and it didn't change as he let both his hands explore the other man's solid body. His abdomen was Alec's favorite; the hard edges and grooves sending thrills down his spine and it other areas of his body that he didn't want to get into details with Magnus about. He could stare at Magnus all day; Magnus wasn work of art. Adonis. 

From Magnus' perspective, things felt just as intimate, even if he wasn't touching Alec and exploring the beautiful body beneath him. Rather than touch, he used his eyes as he let his gaze roam over the firm, muscular body. Alec was big and muscular in all the right places, and honestly, Magnus felt small compared to him, even if their height difference wasn't all that different. When he looked down at one of Alec's hand on his chest, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful those hands were. Long fingered, slim but strong, these were hands meant for a God and he was being touched by a God. He didn't dare move an inch in case Alec flinched away in fright, so he focused all his attention on the slow rise and fall of Alec's chest as he breathed. Judging by his breathing, Alec was calm; his breaths coming in and out in slow intervals compared to Magnus' own quick breaths. 

"Magnus is beautiful," Alec whispered. His face was flushed with pink and red around the cheeks. Whether it was from heat or something else, Magnus was unsure. 

"So are you. Even if you don't think so, I'll be here to remind you of it everyday," Magnus cupped a hand on Alec's neck and leaned in, thumb resting his cheek, and kissed him slowly and softly. 

Alec hummed low in his throat. "Magnus will let Alec know if Alec hurts him, yeah?"

Magnus gazed into the hazel eyes under him. "You can't hurt me, pretty boy. Trust me."

They spent the rest of the morning and a good part of the afternoon kissing and talking on the couch before Alec fell asleep in Magnus' arms. Careful not to wake him, Magnus pulled the quilt along the back of the couch down over them before falling asleep himself. 

Neither one of them had a single nightmare.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm doing a ton of research to make sure I do an accurate representation of autism. If you feel I need to make a change, please let me know and I'll happily make the changes. I'm trying to spread awareness as best as I can. Thank you :)
> 
> Also (if you want) if you're on twitter and/or tumblr, use the hashtag #gaydemonium if you want to me to further express your thoughts about this story. Spread the word :)


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